Etiquette Expert Answers Etiquette Questions From Twitter | Tech Support | WIRED

Summary

In 'Etiquette Support', William Hanson tackles common dining and social etiquette questions. He explains the historical 'no elbows on the table' rule, proper tea stirring, cheese cutting, pea eating, and glass clinking. Hanson addresses concerns about etiquette's relevance, clarifies misconceptions like cutlery positions signaling satisfaction, and advises on not interrupting conversations. He also covers airplane seat etiquette, engaging in conversations about uninteresting topics, signaling for the bill in a restaurant, and addressing royals. The video humorously provides guidance on various manners, emphasizing politeness and consideration.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The 'no elbows on the table' rule originated in medieval Europe to prevent trestle tables from tipping over.
• 🍵 When stirring tea, use a back and forth 6, 12, 6, 12 motion and gently flick the teaspoon at the top of the cup.
• 🧀 When cutting cheese, avoid taking the 'nose' (the creamiest part) for yourself and maintain the original shape.
• 🥗 In formal dining, eat peas using a fork and knife, spearing them onto the tines of the fork.
• 🥂 It's improper to clink glasses on the table as it can damage fine glassware.
• 🌍 Etiquette is essential for everyone on Earth, with a focus in the video on Western, British, and American manners.
• 🍽️ There is no secret message in how you place your cutlery; it only indicates if you are resting or finished.
• 🔥 Interrupting someone in a conversation is generally not acceptable unless it's an emergency.
• 🍷 You should only send back wine at a restaurant if it's corked, not because you don't like the taste.
• 🍔 To eat a large burger elegantly, deconstruct it with a knife and fork before eating.
• 🍝 When eating spaghetti, do not cut it; instead, twist it with your fork into a neat parcel and eat.
• 🙅‍♂️ The worst etiquette sin is not using 'please', 'thank you', and 'sorry'.

Q & A

Why is it considered bad etiquette to put your elbows on the table?

The no elbows on the table rule dates back to medieval times in Europe where trestle tables were used. Placing elbows on the table could cause the table to tip and spill food, which was considered poor etiquette. Today, it is still followed because it is seen as unattractive.

What is the proper way to stir tea?

Instead of stirring tea clockwise or anticlockwise, one should stir in a back and forth 6, 12, 6, 12 motion, gently flicking the teaspoon at the top of the cup, then setting it back in line with the handle.

How should you cut a round cheese for a charcuterie board?

You should cut the cheese while maintaining its original shape, starting from the top and cutting down, rather than cutting like soap, which would take the creamiest part for yourself, which is considered poor manners.

What is the correct way to eat peas in formal dining?

In formal dining, you should use both the fork and the knife. It's better to spear the peas onto the tines of your fork instead of scooping them, which might be acceptable in casual dining.

Is it proper etiquette to clink glasses on the table?

No, it is not proper etiquette to clink glasses on the table. In formal dining, it can damage expensive glassware and is considered impolite.

Why is etiquette important according to the etiquette coach?

Etiquette is important to everyone, especially if you are a user of Earth, as it helps in social interactions and shows respect to others.

What does the etiquette coach say about the myth of cutlery positions indicating satisfaction with the food?

The coach clarifies that there is a myth circulating on social media about cutlery positions indicating whether you liked the food or not, which is false. The only positions for cutlery are to indicate resting or finishing with the meal.

Is it ever appropriate to interrupt someone in a conversation?

The etiquette coach suggests that interrupting someone is generally not appropriate unless it is to prevent harm, like if someone's clothing is on fire.

What is the proper way to send back a bottle of wine at a restaurant?

You should only send back a bottle of wine if there is a problem with it, such as it being corked. Sending it back just because you do not like it is not acceptable.

How should you eat a large burger without looking grotesque?

You should deconstruct the burger first with a knife and fork, cutting a piece and then eating it, rather than trying to fit the whole burger in your mouth.

What are the differences between British and American fork etiquette?

In Britain, both the knife and fork are held at the same time with the knife staying low, and the food is conveyed via the fork. In America, people often cut a piece of food, place the knife down, turn the fork over to eat, then repeat.

How does the etiquette coach suggest eating spaghetti?

The coach advises against cutting pasta and instead eating it with the fork upturned, twisting the spaghetti at the edge to form a neat parcel before eating.

What is considered the worst etiquette sin by the etiquette coach?

The worst etiquette sin is not saying 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'sorry,' which are fundamental to being a polite human being.

What is the etiquette for arriving at a host's house for dinner in France?

Traditionally, it was etiquette to arrive 15 minutes late to give the host time to prepare. However, this is changing with newer generations, and it's suggested to arrive around 5 minutes late if the host says 7:30.

What should you do if you want to recline your airplane seat?

You can recline your seat, but it's polite to check behind you first, signal your intention, and recline slowly rather than abruptly.

How can you politely get out of a conversation you're not interested in?

You can try to pair the person off with someone else by introducing them to another person, which allows you to leave the conversation gracefully.

What is the proper way to signal a waiter for the bill?

You should use body language, sit back from the table, and make eye contact with the waiter. When they come over, politely ask for the bill.

How should you address members of the British royal family?

The king and queen are referred to as 'Your Majesty,' and you would address the king as 'sir' and Queen Camilla as 'ma'am' thereafter. Other members with an HRH title are addressed as 'Your Royal Highness,' followed by 'sir' or 'ma'am' according to their gender.

What should you do if you're unsure whether to offer your seat to someone who might need it more?

If you wish to offer your seat, you can do so without fear of offending, as you're likely never to see the person again. It's a kind gesture.

What is the optimum distance to hold a door open for someone?

There is no correct distance; it's about what feels right and checking behind to see if someone is approaching.

How can you politely get rid of house guests that overstay their welcome?

You can use tactics like asking if they have a busy day tomorrow or offering them something else, which can subtly signal that it's time to leave.