HOW TO BE MASCULINE ENOUGHT TO ATTRACT WOMEN?
Summary
TLDRThe speaker discusses the impact of pornography on men's self-improvement and masculinity, suggesting that it leads to a decline in motivation to develop attractive qualities. He contrasts this with the effects of alcohol, which he has abstained from, and argues that true confidence comes from being authentic without reliance on substances. The conversation also touches on cultural differences in alcohol consumption and the benefits of a substance-free lifestyle in achieving personal growth and genuine social interactions.
Takeaways
- 🚫 The script discusses the negative impact of pornography on men, suggesting that it can lead to erectile dysfunction and a lack of motivation to develop masculine attributes.
- 🧠 It emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and personal growth for men, rather than relying on external stimuli for sexual satisfaction.
- 🍻 The speaker shares his experience of not consuming alcohol and how it has influenced his life, suggesting that avoiding alcohol can help maintain authenticity and self-confidence.
- 💪 He contrasts the temporary 'pseudo confidence' provided by alcohol with the genuine self-confidence that comes from being true to oneself without the need for substances.
- 🎉 The script touches on the social pressures and expectations that can lead people to drink alcohol, and the speaker's personal choice to avoid it due to cultural and personal reasons.
- 🔑 The speaker believes that by not relying on alcohol, one can experience life more authentically and make better judgments about what they truly enjoy and value.
- 🌐 The discussion includes the idea that cultural differences, such as in Dubai, can affect attitudes towards alcohol and the social habits surrounding it.
- 🌱 The speaker suggests a 30-day challenge of abstaining from alcohol to allow individuals to assess the impact on their lives and personal growth.
- 🤔 There is a mention of the psychological effects of alcohol, such as numbing one's authenticity and suppressing the ability to be confident without it.
- 💡 The script highlights the importance of self-awareness and the recognition of one's own interests and values, which can be obscured by the influence of substances like alcohol.
- 📚 The speaker's background in psychology and education is mentioned, suggesting that these experiences have shaped his views on the impact of alcohol and other substances on personal development.
Q & A
What is the main concern discussed in the transcript regarding the effects of excessive pornography consumption on men?
-The main concern is that excessive pornography consumption can lead to erectile dysfunction and a loss of drive to improve oneself, causing men to become less masculine and more dependent on instant gratification rather than developing qualities like kindness, success, and confidence.
How does the speaker describe the impact of alcohol on a person's authenticity and confidence?
-The speaker argues that alcohol provides pseudo-confidence and numbs a person's authenticity. It suppresses true self-esteem and the ability to be confident and authentic without relying on external substances. Without alcohol, one can experience life more authentically and know what they truly like and feel.
According to the speaker, what is the significance of giving up alcohol for self-improvement?
-Giving up alcohol allows a person to face life more authentically and develop natural confidence. The speaker believes that removing alcohol can help individuals become more aware of their true feelings, preferences, and the company they enjoy, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
What challenges does the speaker mention about giving up alcohol, especially in a social context?
-The speaker mentions that giving up alcohol can be challenging due to peer pressure and social norms. In social settings, people often feel the need to drink to fit in or appear confident. However, once alcohol is removed, individuals may initially struggle with what to do with themselves in social situations but eventually become more confident and self-assured.
Why does the speaker believe that removing alcohol from one's life can lead to a better understanding of personal relationships?
-The speaker suggests that without alcohol, individuals can better assess their relationships and interactions. For example, a conversation that seemed interesting while intoxicated may appear shallow when sober, leading to a more accurate evaluation of who they truly enjoy spending time with.
How does the speaker relate the cultural context of alcohol consumption to personal choices and boundaries?
-The speaker notes that cultural and familial boundaries, such as those stemming from a religious upbringing, can play a significant role in shaping one's choices regarding alcohol. These boundaries can help individuals optimize their potential and maintain a non-promiscuous lifestyle, which the speaker values.
What does the speaker say about the impact of alcohol on social events, particularly in places like Dubai?
-The speaker points out that in places like Dubai, alcohol is either very expensive or available in large quantities at brunches, leading people to overconsume and eventually become sick of it. This often results in a cleanse period where individuals reject alcohol due to its negative effects on their bodies.
What does the speaker imply about the role of external substances in achieving masculinity and confidence?
-The speaker implies that relying on external substances like alcohol or pornography undermines true masculinity and confidence. Instead, these qualities should be developed naturally through personal growth and self-improvement, without the need for artificial boosts.
How does the speaker's personal experience influence their perspective on alcohol and self-confidence?
-The speaker's personal experience of not drinking alcohol, partly due to religious reasons, has led them to develop confidence without relying on external substances. This experience reinforces their belief that true confidence comes from within and is not dependent on alcohol.
What advice does the speaker offer to individuals struggling with reliance on alcohol or other forms of instant gratification?
-The speaker advises individuals to try abstaining from alcohol for a period, such as 30 days, to compare their experiences and see the difference in their confidence, authenticity, and overall well-being. This can help them realize the benefits of living without reliance on such substances.
Outlines
🚀 The Impact of Pornography on Masculinity and Authenticity
The speaker discusses the negative effects of pornography on men's self-improvement and masculinity. He suggests that as men age, the average woman may no longer be stimulating enough, leading to erectile dysfunction and a lack of motivation to develop the skills needed to attract a woman. Historically, men had to demonstrate success, kindness, and masculinity to win over a woman, but now, some men may rely on pornography to satisfy their desires without personal growth. The speaker also touches on the topic of alcohol, comparing the artificial confidence it provides to the true confidence that comes from being authentic without the need for external substances. He praises those who abstain from alcohol due to the peer pressure they face, and shares his own experience of living in Asia, surrounded by an older network where alcohol is less of a social necessity.
🍷 Cultural Perspectives on Alcohol and Personal Growth
In this paragraph, the speaker explores the cultural aspects of alcohol consumption, particularly in Dubai, where drinking can be very expensive unless during brunches which offer unlimited drinks. This leads to people either overindulging or abstaining due to the high cost. The speaker advocates for a 30-day cleanse from alcohol to experience its absence and compare one's state with and without it. He shares his personal journey of not relying on alcohol for confidence or social interaction, attributing his extroversion and confidence to the fact that he doesn't need alcohol to be himself. The speaker also reflects on his education and cultural background, which has shaped his lifestyle choices and contributed to his personal growth.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Erectile dysfunction
💡Masculinity
💡Authenticity
💡Dopamine
💡Alcohol
💡Insecurities
💡Confidence
💡Peer pressure
💡Cultural influences
💡Self-improvement
Highlights
The speaker discusses the impact of age on sexual stimulation and the potential for erectile dysfunction as men get older.
Men may lose the motivation to develop skills and attributes to attract a woman due to the easy access to sexual stimulation through pornography.
The historical comparison of men's efforts to attract women, from the days of Elvis Presley to the current state of relying on pornography.
The speaker's personal experience of giving up alcohol and the challenges of facing peer pressure without the crutch of alcohol.
The contrast between the speaker's lifestyle in Asia and the cultural expectations of drinking in Irish society.
The importance of being authentic and not relying on substances like alcohol to express oneself.
The speaker's observation of friends who drink and how alcohol affects their behavior and authenticity.
The idea that true confidence comes from being oneself without the need for external substances.
The speaker's personal growth and increased confidence after stepping away from alcohol and cigarettes.
The cultural differences in Dubai regarding alcohol consumption and the impact on people's health and habits.
The suggestion of a 30-day alcohol-free period as an AB test to compare one's state with and without alcohol.
The benefits of experiencing life authentically without the influence of alcohol.
The speaker's reflections on how not relying on alcohol has contributed to their confidence and self-awareness.
The impact of alcohol on one's ability to genuinely connect with others and the potential for misjudgment under its influence.
The speaker's educational background and how it has influenced their perspective on life and substance use.
The speaker's belief in the importance of boundaries and how they have shaped their life choices.
The final thoughts on finding authenticity by removing alcohol from one's life and the clarity it brings to relationships and self-perception.
Transcripts
by the time you get to 30 it turns into
criminal Behavior yeah it turns into so
what happens is the average woman can no
longer stimulate you and you find
yourself having erectile dysfunction but
the bigger issue I feel like it causes
men is they no longer feel like they
need to work on the skills and the
attributes it takes to attract a woman
before to have sex with a woman or to
see her naked a man would have to be
like right I have to have money I have
to be successful I have to be kind I
have to be caring I have to be masculine
I have to be all these amazing things
that makes him a man and then he'd clear
up so like the Elvie Elvis Presley's
days a man would have to be all of those
things to get a woman now it's like I'm
really craving a woman I'm overweight I
haven't got a job I'm playing video
games all day but I'm I'm I'm horny let
me just watch porn whereas before it' be
like get yourself up come on go talk to
women so they're losing their Drive of
what makes them masculine so they become
more and more uh IM masculine
and they become a weaker version of
themselves every time they watch it
because they can satisfy themselves
without working on themselves it's a lot
of cheap dopamine it's been cheap and
but also very very dangerous dopamine of
course but I think like so I've given up
alcohol for the last 10 and a half
months I've never tried alcohol in my
life no way no well you know just an
angel but yeah you've you've never known
the other side of it but like I always
said it's like I'm a I'm so so impressed
by people who give it up though even
though I've never tried it the people
that give it up are the ones that have
to face so much peer pressure and they
have to really go against the grain
whereas for me nobody pressures me
because they know I'm never going to try
it but see the thing for me so the
reason why it was a little bit easier
for me is cuz I'm literally in the
middle of Asia on my own it's me my
girlfriend my dog a lot of my like
Network are a lot older so from my
podcast like a lot of my friends could
be like 40 50 around 27 so it's fine and
we go for dinner and they be like oh you
want like this like $4,000 like glass of
wine I'm like I'm okay you know so it's
fine but of course come from like Irish
culture I I'm No Angel like as in I've
been to like every event in IA you can
you can name right but over the course
of like six years from like say 19 to 24
to 25 I had my party days and now I'm
kind of in the building phase of what I
would say and like fixing all that kind
of but those cheap dope means are
so easier to lean into so drink
obviously does like sex drugs all that
kind of stuff involved as well how would
you recommend someone that kind of clear
their mind from all that here's what
alcohol does it's pseudo confidence and
what again here's the goal of a man
should be to have a natural element in
him that enables him to be masculine now
when you take alcohol what it does is I
mean I I've never tried alcohol but what
I have noticed about myself
comparatively to my friends who drink is
that I'm not waiting for something to
kick in before I start being me I'm not
waiting for a drug to sink into my body
for me to be authentic I'm not waiting
for it to sink in for me to start
dancing I'll walk into an environment if
there's music on I'm like ready to roll
because and my friends are like let me
just let this sink in I'm like let what
sink in let me just and I'm like it's so
foreign to me I'm just like what are we
waiting for this song is good but it's
like what happens then when you do that
is you numb your authenticity you numb
your ability to be confident without it
you numb your ability to say what you
want to say without it you numb your
ability to talk to women without it so
you're numbing your authenticity you're
suppressing who you truly are and
waiting for the alcohol to leash it but
true confidence and true self-esteem and
true needs are met when you can be
whoever you truly are in the absence of
any kind of external um doses so when
they can finally be themselves you can
only do that when you don't rely on
alcohol and then you know what you truly
feel and what you truly like as well
because what happens is I'll sometimes
be with friends and we're in the
shittest place but because they're
drinking they're still they're like it's
fine it's fun like no it's not this
place is a dive why are we here they're
pretending it's fun because they've got
the extra kind of added dose but when
you remove that you can actually
experience life authentically and only
when you experience life authentically
is a life worth living and I think a lot
of it is done to insecurities and like I
say this with no sense of spirit I'm
sure if I could drink I mean it's
religious reasons but I'm sure I would
be I would be the worst if I could drink
but like from what was like kind of so
common I guess um and not like Irish
people just just in general is that like
when I was younger probably because I
was a bit more uh influ was more
influenced by people you know so I'd
always have like a g tonic in my hand
and I'd always have a cigarette so if we
out at an event I'd always have both
hands are occupied right and then when
you remove that you're like what do I do
with these what I do my hands like what
do I do my hands so then like as I like
kind of like stepped away from it I
become actually way more confident and
like you realize you can dance you also
have my own my own interests and my own
like uh values
I don't need so for when I a people here
they all drink as well which is
interesting cuai like there's people
that are pushing really hurt and they're
like yeah let's just go chill out you
know why that you know why that is
because Dubai's culture is it's very
expensive to drink unless you're doing
brunches which makes it very cheap to
over drink so it's unlimited drinks or
very expensive so people have done
branches and realize how unbearable
alcohol your body is rejecting it so
they get so sick of the branches that
they think my body can't take this
anymore and and they go through the
cleanse period yeah because your body
rejects it yeah I think everyone should
just do like 30 days and then you see a
comparison cuz you literally it's like
an AB test you see what I was and what I
am and I'm not saying forever I just
think that even for me I like the fact
that I go like month to month and I'm
like oh and I think it's just so
significant because like as I mentioned
like 27 and now quite extroverted I
could do that every I want to do but I
think I have like other goals which I'm
not saying that other people don't it's
just for what I want to do but I I
definitely think I attribute a lot of my
confidence down to the fact that I can't
rely on anything and and your
education you psychology UCL and you've
gone on to other things like you weren't
out getting shitfaced yeah I I mean it
wasn't an option my dad is you know he's
Pakistani yeah you know it wasn't it's
great now I love the boundaries because
they've enabled me to optimize my
potential obviously at the time I was
just like I can't do anything even if I
wanted to that's why one of the things I
always make clear it's not I didn't have
a choice when it came to having a really
kind of um kind of nonpromiscuous
lifestyle is my parents were created it
and then it cultivates in yourself and
it become you internalize it so it
wasn't like a choice I made I'm sure if
I had the freedom I wouldn't have made
these choices but I would say that I
promise you you find authenticity when
you remove alcohol from your life and
you find you realize who you actually
enjoy the company of you realize you
know when you're talking to a girl in
the club and you're fully drunk and she
seems so interesting you're like yeah
yeah I want to take her out and you go
on a date with her sober and you're like
this dumb like so dumb and
then they call me
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