The Preamble: Instantly Impress Someone You Like

Summary

This video script offers insights on impressing individuals we admire by avoiding common pitfalls and asking engaging questions. It highlights Sean Evans' interviewing techniques, emphasizing the importance of preparation, empathy, and emotional connection. The script advises viewers to go beyond surface-level inquiries, showcase knowledge, and be playful yet respectful in conversation. It also encourages seeing people as humans beyond their public personas, fostering genuine connection and memorable interactions.

Takeaways

• 😀 **Asking Unique Questions**: Impress others by asking thoughtful, non-repetitive questions that show you've done your research and understand their background.
• 🤔 **Empathy in Questioning**: Show empathy by considering the common questions people often get and then asking something beyond the obvious to stand out.
• 🔍 **Preparation is Key**: Being well-prepared and knowledgeable about the person you're interacting with can help you ask deeper, more engaging questions.
• 📚 **Use a Question Preamble**: Start conversations with a short, insightful preamble to demonstrate your understanding and interest in the person's work.
• 🌟 **Highlight Personal Interests**: Direct conversations towards topics that elicit emotion, such as personal passions or frustrations, to create a more engaging interaction.
• 🏆 **Best and Worst Questions**: Utilize the 'best and worst' structure in your questions to encourage detailed and emotional responses.
• 😄 **Be Playful and Engaging**: Light-hearted teasing and playful banter can make interactions more enjoyable and memorable.
• 🙅‍♂️ **Avoid Being Vanilla**: Don't suppress your thoughts and opinions; express disagreement assertively but politely to show your personality.
• 👥 **See People as Humans**: Look beyond the public persona and see the person as a human being with interests and a life similar to yours.
• 💬 **Express Disagreement Constructively**: When disagreeing, highlight areas of agreement first to maintain a respectful and constructive conversation.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the video script about social interactions?

The main issue discussed is the common frustration of becoming tongue-tied when trying to impress others, especially in important situations like job interviews, networking, or dating.

Who is Sean Evans and how is he relevant to the video's topic?

Sean Evans is the host of 'Hot Ones' and is used as an example in the video because of his skill in asking unique and engaging questions that stand out and impress his guests.

Why is it important to avoid repetitive questions when interacting with people of higher status?

It is important because people of higher status often get asked the same questions repeatedly, and asking something different shows that you have done your research and can lead to a more engaging conversation.

What is the significance of doing thorough research before meeting someone you admire?

Research allows you to ask informed questions that go beyond the obvious, demonstrating your interest and knowledge, and helping to create a more memorable and positive impression.

What is a 'question preamble' and how does it help in an interview or conversation?

A question preamble is a short introduction to a question that shows off some knowledge about the person you're speaking with. It helps to establish a connection and demonstrates that you've done your homework.

Why is it beneficial to steer conversations towards emotional topics?

Emotional topics elicit strong responses and can lead to more engaging and authentic conversations. People are more likely to remember and appreciate interactions that touch on their passions or frustrations.

What is the 'best and worst' structure for questions and why is it effective?

The 'best and worst' structure asks individuals to reflect on the highlights and low points of an experience. It is effective because it prompts people to share personal stories and emotions, making the conversation more interesting.

How can playful teasing be used to build rapport in a conversation?

Playful teasing can show that you're comfortable and confident, and it can create a light-hearted atmosphere that makes the interaction more enjoyable and memorable.

What is the importance of expressing disagreement respectfully when conversing with someone you admire?

Expressing disagreement respectfully shows that you have your own thoughts and opinions, which can be refreshing and impressive. It also maintains the conversation's flow and keeps it dynamic.

What mindset is recommended when approaching people you admire to ensure a natural interaction?

The recommended mindset is to see the person as a human being rather than an icon. This helps to diminish the perceived gap between you and allows for a more authentic and comfortable interaction.

What is the 'Charisma University' program mentioned in the script and how does it help individuals?

The 'Charisma University' program is a course designed to help individuals build unshakeable confidence and improve their social skills. It includes a 30-day action guide and offers a step-by-step path for personal growth in social situations.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Mastering Impressive Conversations

This paragraph discusses the common issue of feeling tongue-tied in situations where impressing others is crucial, such as job interviews or meeting potential mentors. The video aims to provide strategies to stand out positively by learning from Sean Evans of Hot Ones, who is known for asking engaging questions. The importance of avoiding repetitive and obvious questions is emphasized, and the value of empathy in understanding what questions people are tired of hearing is highlighted. The paragraph also underscores the significance of preparation and research in asking insightful questions that can lead to meaningful conversations.

05:01

🤔 Asking Thought-Provoking Questions

The second paragraph delves into the art of asking questions that elicit emotional responses, using Sean Evans' interview techniques as an example. It highlights the effectiveness of asking about the 'best' and 'worst' experiences, which encourages people to share their passions and frustrations. The paragraph also discusses the importance of being playful and not overly serious in interactions, suggesting that a light-hearted approach can help stand out and create memorable connections. Additionally, it touches on the value of expressing disagreement assertively while remaining polite, drawing on examples from Joe Rogan's interviews.

10:01

🧡 Seeing People Beyond Their Public Persona

In the final paragraph, the focus shifts to the mindset required to genuinely connect with people you admire. It emphasizes the need to see individuals as humans rather than icons, recognizing their personal lives and interests beyond their public roles. This approach encourages curiosity and natural interactions, making it easier to ask personal questions, crack jokes, or engage in spirited discussions. The paragraph also mentions the benefits of the Charisma University program, which helps individuals develop unshakeable confidence and improve their social skills, and includes testimonials from satisfied members who have experienced positive changes in their lives.

Keywords

💡Tongue-tied

Tongue-tied refers to the feeling of being unable to speak or express oneself properly, especially in situations where one feels nervous or anxious. In the video, it is used to describe the common experience of feeling awkward or speechless in front of people we admire, which can hinder opportunities like job interviews or making connections.

💡Impress

To impress someone means to make a strong, positive impact on them, often leading to admiration or respect. The video discusses strategies for impressing people we admire, such as asking thoughtful questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences and perspectives.

💡Killer Questions

Killer questions are those that are insightful, engaging, and thought-provoking. They are designed to elicit interesting responses and demonstrate the asker's understanding and interest. In the context of the video, killer questions are highlighted as a way to stand out and connect with people we admire, as exemplified by Sean Evans of Hot Ones.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. The video emphasizes the importance of empathizing with the person you are interacting with by considering the types of questions they might be tired of hearing and then asking something more original and meaningful.

💡Research

Research in this context refers to the preparation and gathering of information about a person or topic before an interaction. Sean Evans is noted for his thorough research, which allows him to ask questions that go beyond the obvious and demonstrate a deeper understanding of his interview subjects.

💡Preamble

A preamble is an introductory statement or explanation that sets the stage for what follows. The video suggests using a question preamble to start a conversation by showing off some knowledge about the person you are talking to, which can help establish a connection and make a strong first impression.

💡Emotion

Emotion refers to strong feelings derived from one's likes, dislikes, or personal experiences. The video advises steering conversations towards topics that elicit emotional responses, as this can lead to more engaging and memorable interactions. Examples include asking about someone's passions or frustrations.

💡Best and Worst

The 'best and worst' structure is a questioning technique used to prompt detailed and personal responses. It involves asking about the most positive and negative aspects of someone's experiences. The video uses this technique to illustrate how to get people to open up and share more about what they love and what they find challenging.

💡Playful

Being playful means engaging in light-hearted or humorous interactions. The video suggests that being playful and willing to tease or joke can help establish a more relaxed and enjoyable connection with people we admire, making the interaction more memorable and less formal.

💡Disagree

Disagreeing refers to having a different opinion or perspective. The video discusses the importance of being able to express disagreement assertively but politely, highlighting the need to maintain one's own thoughts and opinions even in the presence of people we admire.

💡Human

Seeing someone as 'human' means recognizing their ordinary, everyday aspects beyond their public persona or achievements. The video emphasizes the importance of viewing people we admire as regular individuals with personal lives and interests, which can help in forming more genuine and relatable connections.

Highlights

It's common to feel tongue-tied in front of people we want to impress, which can affect job opportunities, mentorship, and relationships.

Sean Evans of 'Hot Ones' is highlighted for his skill in asking compelling questions.

Asking killer questions can help you stand out and impress people, as demonstrated by Sean's interviews.

Important to avoid repetitive questions that people of higher status are often asked.

Empathy is crucial in asking questions that people don't usually get asked.

Sean avoids obvious questions and instead asks about behind-the-scenes details, like security measures in 'Star Wars'.

Preparation and research are key to asking insightful questions, as seen in Sean's interviews.

A short preamble can help set the stage for a conversation, showcasing your knowledge and interest.

Steering conversations towards emotional topics, like passions or frustrations, can engage people more deeply.

Using the 'best and worst' structure in questions can elicit detailed and emotional responses.

Sean demonstrates how to playfully tease guests, showing a human side and building rapport.

Having the willingness to take risks and have fun in conversations can help you stand out.

Expressing disagreement assertively while remaining polite is a skill demonstrated by hosts like Joe Rogan.

It's important not to stifle your own thoughts and opinions in an attempt to be agreeable.

Seeing people as humans rather than icons can help you connect more naturally and authentically.

Charisma University program is mentioned as a resource for building confidence and improving social skills.

Testimonials from Charisma University members highlight the program's effectiveness in various social situations.

Transcripts

it's frustratingly common to get

completely tongue-tied when we're in

front of people we'd like to impress

which is doubly unfortunate because it's

often those situations that could lead

to us landing a great new job connecting

with a mentor or even dating someone

that we're smitten with and that's why

in this video i want to cover how you

can avoid that awkward trap and impress

the people you admire by standing out in

an incredibly positive way to do that

we're going to be referencing one of the

people who has done this many times sean

evans of hot ones so let's start by

looking at sean's greatest skill asking

killer questions if you could steal one

item out of casey neistat's studio what

would you grab

oh wow

that's a good question he's got a lot of

stuff in there he's got drones can you

give me a band that people make fun of

on the internet that you think deserves

a lot more respect from a songwriting

perspective that's a great question do

you ever think about how much your

narrative is shaped by the need to

package the details of your life into

these instantly accessible anecdotes

i s

a great question

shawn evans is the best

host on the internet nailing your

questions is especially important when

interacting with people of higher status

because chances are they've been asked

the same question over and over and over

again take cersei ronan for instance who

must be tired of this kind of question

by now what's the worst pronunciation of

your name you've ever heard what's the

worst butchering of it you've ever heard

it's like the weirdest one you've ever

heard and it's not just celebrities who

get repetitive questions if you've ever

come home from college or a vacation to

a slew of well how was it questions you

know the feelings so if you want to

impress someone don't go for the low

hanging fruit a much better strategy is

to empathize with the person to ask

yourself what question they probably get

all the time and then to ask a question

beyond the obvious one here sean does it

avoiding obvious direct questions about

the star wars plot and instead asking

john boyega about the security measures

that were present to prevent spoiler

leaks can you reveal some of the

behind-the-scenes security measures that

go into putting a cap on star wars i

know i remember i put an overcoat

because every time we leave the set we

can't actually leave in costume now

asking questions beyond the obvious of

course becomes easier when you know a

bit about the individual and this is a

reason why sean's crazy prepared

research tends to be so well appreciated

can you tell the people about the

instruments of destruction

oh my god

what

sean where'd you even find that info

dang deep cuts

um you're like a really well researched

and like great interview this is wild so

are you thanks so are you so even though

you're probably not conducting

interviews you can apply the same

principle in your own life prior to

attending a networking events or an

interview for instance read up on the

person or the company get to the point

where you don't need to ask how they got

their start or what industries they work

with or anything that you could find on

their about page for that matter that

way you avoid questions that immediately

disqualify you but avoiding those

questions isn't enough after all we

don't necessarily notice the things that

don't happen in interactions as much as

we notice the things that do happen and

that's why you want to make sure to take

another trick from sean's playbook which

is the question preamble watch here and

in that 20 years the tv food scene it's

exploded you know from the stand and

stir shows to the cooking competition

boom to the current obsession with

culinary travel and when you look at

that timeline because you've spent about

20 years in this game now what do you

see as some of the watershed moments the

highlights and the low lights when you

look at that time you just saw sean mc

someone almost showing off a bit of his

knowledge about them which isn't

strictly necessary after all of course

the guest is going to know about their

own past but this makes a clear

distinction between sean and

interviewers who haven't done their

research and it makes the guests

reciprocate his effort in that response

do you still dream of having a chicken

tv show where you have celebrities do

voices for the chickens and if so who

are the actors at the top of your list

yeah how you know about the chicken

cartoon you remember about celebrating

with lil wayne

um

that night

yeah i really already did that

information here

i really do your homework um in your own

life opening with a short preamble is an

excellent way to begin a conversation

with a recognizable name that you may

encounter at a meet and greet or if

you're sending a cold outreach email

just one or two sentences that highlight

a specific perhaps more obscure element

of their work immediately separates you

from the pack and i say this from

personal experience when i receive

emails with just those one or two

sentences that indicates someone has

invested in my content i am much more

likely to respond compared to someone

who appears to have sent out a mass

depersonalized email so show off what

you know a bit one caveat do not fall

into the trap of fawning the entire

interaction just one or two sentences at

the beginning is plenty you want to

connect with the individual on a

personal level which brings us to our

next point steer conversations towards

things that elicit emotion for instance

someone's passion just watch john

boyega's eyes when he's asked about

something that he loves so first we

feast recently did a deep dive into the

connection between anime and hip-hop

on this new show that we have called

gochi gang and i know that you're a huge

fan this is important because often when

we meet someone that we admire we go

with the logistical things that we'd

like to know the answer to how did you

start what would you recommend to

someone at my age what can i do to get a

job working with you and in addition to

being the most common questions that

people in a public role may receive

those are also questions that don't

engage anyone on an emotional level now

you may not know john boyega loves anime

and hip-hop but you can still steer

questions towards an emotional response

by using the best and worst structure

which is one of sean's favorites just

watch

what was the best thing about living in

iowa and then what was the worst thing

about living in iowa oh wow good

question what do you see as some of the

watershed moments the highlights and the

lowlights when you look at that time in

asking these highlight and low light

questions the best and the worst shawn

gets people to talk about the things

that we all find irresistible first off

it's the things that we love those are

the things that we can go on forever

about here sean is asking adam carolla

about his love of crows and he waxes

philosophical crows

i love gross can you tell me why you

love those squawking birds so much and

describe it to me in as much detail as

possible

okay

now when people are sharing their low

lights they often won't share the things

that make them sad in fact those are

things that tend to get people to clamp

up but when you ask them more directly

about things that frustrate them well

people will talk your ear off and it's

partially because we're often told not

to complain so when someone gives us the

green light it can feel so good to

finally vent about something we find

annoying where are pitch meetings more

likely to be parodies of themselves in

hollywood or in silicon valley oh that's

a great question i think silicon valley

you'll literally get in an elevator and

someone's like i just gotta tell you

about my company i just gotta tell you

about me coming let me just tell you

about my company i have to tell you

about my company in either case of

things that people love and things that

they find frustrating the guest's

enthusiasm for the conversation spikes

and this is something that gets

associated with the question asker if

you're using this technique you so for

instance say that you get to the end of

an interview for your dream job and

you're asked so do you have any

questions for me much better than asking

well how do you like working here is to

adjust the question and ask instead so

tell me what would you say are the best

moments or highlights of your job and

what would you say the low lights are

maybe the most frustrating things the

emotional charge immediately generates

more interest but of course impressing

people that you admire goes beyond just

asking questions which is why you see

sean demonstrating that he isn't just a

replaceable starstruck question asking

machine for instance he'll playfully

tease guests like here when he jokes

about rhett and link's cheesy intros

here's one for those of you that are

unfamiliar who dominoes if pizza hut is

better let's talk about that and here

sean is teasing them about it what we'll

do is try to guess the flavor

oh you making fun of us if i were making

fun of you maybe i'd say something like

which cream is the dream let's talk

about it but i'm not going to say that

similarly when people poke fun at sean

he's comfortable shooting back a zinger

like here why am i asking

a snowstorm of a man

how dare you

is it hindi or urdu

like talking to an h r block

okay all whitey then

on the channel i've advised against

being sarcastic and i'm not telling you

to do that here but this willingness to

be playful highlights one of the most

important things that people leave out

of their encounters with those they

admire they don't have the willingness

to take the risk and have some fun we

can become so afraid of messing up that

we wind up being completely vanilla

which of course backfires when we don't

stand out at all so recognize if you

have a tendency to be especially literal

when you're nervous and if it's the case

lean towards cracking more jokes when

you're around people that you want to

impress a very simple way to do this is

by not answering every question that is

asked of you in a totally serious manner

sean demonstrates how to do this here

that's not normal no in fact this

program is not normal have you ever

killed anybody

we haven't heard from coolio in a long

time

seriously in the same vein when we want

to impress someone we sometimes lose our

ability to comfortably express

disagreement even it's about something

as simple as whether or not a movie that

we both saw is good or bad now this is

one that we don't get much chance to see

in the hot ones format but there is

another famous host who does this very

well and that is joe rogan you can dive

into the entire breakdown we did on him

linked in the description but here's

just one example of how to disagree with

someone in a way that is assertive while

still remaining polite and it's by

highlighting where you still agree prior

to disagreeing you beat gonzaga that was

a good fight yeah you you're a very good

fighter that's not what the the issue is

the issue is

can you become a champion if you can't

become a champion are you comfortable

with getting knocked out three or four

more times you could see more details on

joe rogan in the video on him but the

point for this video whenever it comes

to people that you want to impress is to

just make sure that you aren't stifling

your own thoughts and opinions in an

attempt to come off as agreeable and

that really takes us to the mindset that

makes all of this much easier to

incorporate and act upon when it comes

to those people that you want to impress

you need to see past what they may

represent to you to the human beneath

you see it's very easy to see people as

icons you may focus on how they can help

you to get promoted or the book that

they wrote or how impressive their

following must be and when you do that

it makes you feel completely separate

different and maybe even beneath them

but when you see them as human you

recognize that they probably have a life

a lot like yours outside of their public

persona they might like to goof off with

their friends brag about their kids

argue about sports or nerd out about

their favorite fantasy series and when

you look for those aspects you get

curious about exactly the things that

they want to connect over but everyone

else just breezes past and you realize

that you're not so different which helps

diminish the gulf that you may

unconsciously place between you asking

about their personal interests or

cracking a joke or even having a

spirited disagreement come much more

naturally when you see people not just

as the role but as a human if you feel

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inconsistent or just not there in the

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