The Desire to Not Exist
Summary
TLDRThis video script delves into the complex human desire to not exist, exploring its philosophical underpinnings and psychological implications. It references Dostoyevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov' and thinkers like Albert Camus, Søren Kierkegaard, and Arthur Schopenhauer to examine the yearning for non-experience and the struggle with existence. The script also analyzes the anime 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' as a narrative embodying this existential crisis, discussing the characters' battles with loneliness, desire, and the search for self-worth. The sensory deprivation experience is highlighted as a means to understand the void, suggesting that embracing the absurd and accepting one's desires can lead to self-acceptance and transcend the wish for non-existence.
Takeaways
- 🌌 The desire to not exist is a complex psychological wish, not just a belief about life's characteristics.
- 🤔 The concept of non-experience, or the wish to disappear without death or sadness, is a unique existential yearning.
- 📚 Dostoevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov' presents a debate on the existence of God and the nature of suffering in the world.
- 🤨 Ivan Karamazov's rejection of God's goodness leads to questioning whether we want to exist in a world filled with suffering.
- 📖 Albert Camus suggests that contemplating suicide is a fundamental philosophical question, touching on the meaning of life.
- 🧐 Cognitive dissonance may explain why people who wish to not exist continue living, as death is messy and final.
- 🚫 The desire for nothingness could be a reaction to prohibition, desiring what is deemed impossible.
- 🕊️ Soren Kierkegaard discusses the torment of the desire to not exist as a form of despair, linked to the concept of eternity.
- 🎭 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' uses philosophical influences to depict the struggle with the desire to not exist, particularly through the character Shinji.
- 🧘 Arthur Schopenhauer's philosophy on individual will and suffering is reflected in the anime's portrayal of existential loneliness.
- 🔮 The 'Human Instrumentality Project' in 'Evangelion' aims to eliminate individual suffering by merging all human consciousness into one.
- 🤝 Jacques Lacan's concept of 'the big other' is explored, suggesting that our desires form in response to separation from others.
- 💔 The feeling of shame arises from the fear of not being desired by the 'big other', which can lead to the desire to not exist.
- 💡 The sensory deprivation experience suggests that embracing the void can lead to contentment with existence rather than a rejection of it.
- 🛑 The solution to the desire to not exist may involve accepting the constant state of becoming, learning to define our own desires, and trusting in the acceptance of others despite friction.
Q & A
What is the desire to not exist as described in the script?
-The desire to not exist, as described in the script, is a complex psychological yearning to disappear without causing sadness, violence, or death. It is not about wishing one was never born or self-destruction, but rather about the wish to fall asleep and never wake up again, experiencing non-experience.
What is the debate about the existence of God in Dostoyevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov'?
-In 'The Brothers Karamazov', the debate about the existence of God revolves around the suffering in the world. Ivan Karamazov argues that if God exists, He must be evil for creating a world with so much pain and suffering, including that of innocent children. He rejects the idea of God's goodness and questions the desire to exist in such a world.
How does Albert Camus' philosophy relate to the desire to not exist?
-Albert Camus is known for stating that the fundamental question of philosophy is whether or not one should kill oneself. This relates to the desire to not exist in that it raises the question of the meaning and value of life, and whether life is worth living despite its inherent suffering.
What is cognitive dissonance and how does it relate to the desire to not exist?
-Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person holds two contradictory beliefs but can only act on one of them. In the context of the desire to not exist, people may continue living because death is too messy and final. The easier belief to exhibit is to continue living, despite the desire to not exist.
What is the philosophical concept of 'eternity' as discussed in relation to the desire to not exist?
-Eternity, in the philosophical context of the script, refers to a state where time seems to slow down or stop, and every day feels monotonous and unified. It is a state where one is held hostage by their own existence, unable to escape from themselves, which can lead to feelings of boredom, depression, and the desire to not exist.
How does the anime 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' depict the desire to not exist?
-In 'Neon Genesis Evangelion', the desire to not exist is depicted through the character Shinji, who struggles with existential loneliness and the desire to escape his individual existence. The show explores this desire through philosophical influences and the concept of the 'Human Instrumentality Project', which aims to unify all human consciousness.
What is the 'Human Instrumentality Project' in 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'?
-The 'Human Instrumentality Project' is a plan in 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' to destroy the boundaries of individual egos and merge all human consciousness into one total unit, aiming to achieve total harmony and eliminate suffering caused by individuality and separation.
What is the concept of 'the big other' as discussed in the script?
-The 'big other' is a concept that represents an unknown entity or force that we believe desires something from us. It is a symbol or category that influences our desires and makes us question whether our desires and our selves are acceptable to it.
How does the desire to not exist relate to the concept of 'shame'?
-Shame is related to the desire to not exist in that it arises from a deep disappointment with oneself for not being desired or valid. It involves viewing oneself from an external perspective, that of the 'big other', and feeling that one's desires and self are not acceptable.
What is the solution proposed in the script to overcome the desire to not exist?
-The solution proposed in the script is to learn to decide for ourselves how we feel about our desires and what causes them, rather than seeking validation from an external 'big other'. It involves accepting the potential pains of desire and taking the risk to be accepted by others, which can lead to self-acceptance and moving beyond the desire to not exist.
What role does sensory deprivation play in understanding the desire to not exist?
-Sensory deprivation, as experienced in a tank of saltwater that eliminates the senses, provides a glimpse into the state of nothingness that those with the desire to not exist yearn for. It offers a unique perspective on the peace and contentment that can be found in the absence of sensory input and external judgment.
Outlines
🌌 The Yearning for Non-Existence
This paragraph explores the complex psychological phenomenon of desiring non-existence, which is distinct from the wish for death or self-destruction. It discusses the idea as presented in Dostoevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov', where Ivan Karamazov questions the existence of a benevolent God in a world filled with suffering. The paragraph also references Albert Camus's philosophy on the absurdity of life and the desire for non-experience. It touches on cognitive dissonance and the human tendency to desire the impossible, as well as Soren Kierkegaard's view on despair and the eternal, suggesting that the desire to not exist is a form of psychological and existential struggle.
🤖 Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Battle with Existence
The second paragraph delves into the themes of existential loneliness and the desire to not exist as portrayed in the anime 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'. It discusses the character Shinji's internal struggle and how the show uses the philosophical ideas of Arthur Schopenhauer to explore individual suffering caused by separate wills. The 'Human Instrumentality Project' is highlighted as a narrative device to address the desire for unity and the end of individual pain. The paragraph also examines Jacques Lacan's concept of 'the big other' and how desires form in response to perceived lacks, leading to feelings of shame and a longing for non-existence.
🕊 The Pursuit of Nothingness and Self-Acceptance
This paragraph examines the desire to not exist as a form of escapism from the burdens of individual existence and unmet desires. It discusses the character Shinji's journey in 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' and how his self-worth is tied to his perceived desirability to others. The experience of a sensory deprivation tank is used as a metaphor for exploring the state of nothingness, leading to a realization that existence itself is not inherently negative. The paragraph concludes with the idea that by understanding and accepting our desires, we can find contentment and move beyond the desire to not exist, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and personal growth.
🌟 Embracing Existence and the Power of Acceptance
The final paragraph focuses on the process of self-acceptance and the decision to embrace existence despite its challenges. It discusses the importance of understanding our desires and not seeking external validation from an imagined 'big other'. The paragraph suggests that by accepting the dynamic nature of relationships and the constant state of becoming, we can mitigate feelings of shame and despair. It concludes with the idea that taking risks and accepting the potential pains of desire are essential steps towards self-acceptance and moving beyond the desire to not exist, ultimately finding peace and contentment in life.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Existence
💡Desire to Not Exist
💡Cognitive Dissonance
💡Eternity
💡Desire
💡Shame
💡Big Other
💡Sensory Deprivation
💡Neon Genesis Evangelion
💡Acceptance
Highlights
Millions or billions of people have felt the desire to not exist, which is rarely discussed.
The desire to not exist is a yearning to disappear without sadness, violence, or death.
Dostoevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov' debates the existence of God and the nature of suffering.
Ivan Karamazov rejects the notion of God's goodness and questions the desire to exist in a cruel world.
Albert Camus suggests that contemplating suicide answers the fundamental question of philosophy.
The desire to not exist is a complex psychological wish, not merely a belief about life's characteristics.
Cognitive dissonance may lead people to desire non-existence as it's easier than accepting death.
Desire for nothingness may be a response to prohibition, as the impossible is more desired for its impossibility.
Søren Kierkegaard's 'The Sickness Unto Death' explores the torment of the desire to not exist.
In Kierkegaard's view, despair is a response to the eternity that lies after death.
Eternity in life is experienced through the slow passage of time and the unity of monotonous days.
Neon Genesis Evangelion is an anime that explores existential loneliness and the desire to not exist.
Arthur Schopenhauer's philosophy is a major influence on Neon Genesis Evangelion, discussing individuality and suffering.
The Human Instrumentality Project in Evangelion aims to unify all human consciousness to eliminate suffering.
Jacques Lacan's psychoanalysis suggests that desire forms in response to our separation from one another.
Shame arises from the feeling of not being desired and the desire of the 'big other'.
The desire to not exist can be seen as an expression of frustration at one's individual existence.
Sensory deprivation tanks offer an experience close to nothingness, providing insight into the desire to not exist.
Accepting oneself and one's desires can help overcome the desire to not exist and lead to personal growth.
Transcripts
it's likely that millions perhaps even
billions of people have at one point or
another felt the desire to not exist
now when i say not exist i'm not talking
about the way some people wish they had
never been born or even somebody's
self-destructive fantasies no the desire
to not exist is the yearning to
magically disappear preferably in a way
that doesn't require any sadness
violence or death
you may know it as the wish to fall
asleep and never wake up again
as often as this desire is felt it's
mysteriously rarely discussed
what i found surrounding why we
sometimes feel this way says a lot about
the nature of our existence desires and
how we interpret the existence of others
and one of the most memorable scenes
from dostoyevsky's novel the brothers
karamazov a monk and an atheist walk
into a bar
their brothers qaramazov to be exact
what ensues is a debate about the
existence of god albeit an
unconventional one
in our world nobody escapes the torture
of daily pains and disappointment even
children suffer in horrific extremes
thus god the elder of the two brothers
maintains must be evil to have
introduced us to such a world any
promises of paradise after this life are
just taunts
life is about a cruel angel's thesis
it's not that i don't accept god
i just most respectfully return him the
ticket he says
ivan karmaza rejects all notions of
god's goodness but even further than
that we can interpret that for ivan it
is not so important to contemplate
whether or not god exists the question
that must be asked is whether or not we
want to exist in a world like this one
this idea would be repeated by albert
camus who famously made the remark that
in deciding whether or not one should
kill oneself one answers the fundamental
question of philosophy
when we think of the desire to not exist
we usually imagine something akin to
this kind of thinking the idea that life
is meaningless and insufferable is a
popular one
however when compared to these outlooks
the desire to not exist is unique
what these individuals desire is not
death but to experience non-experience
the desire is not a logical set of
beliefs about the characteristics of
life but a complex psychological wish
furthermore not everyone who longs for
nothingness thinks existence is entirely
unbearable
to not want to die but also wanting to
simply not exist implies a contradictory
hope that one might continue to go on
living
i think the most tempting way to explain
this is to bring up what is called
cognitive dissonance when a person has
two contradictory beliefs but can only
embody one of them they will pick the
one that is easier to exhibit in this
case it's easy to suggest that the
people who would like to not exist
continue to live their lives because
death is much too messy and final it
takes a certain dedication to accept
death
of course there is something to be said
for this idea after all most people
would hesitate to see death as a
solution to their problems but this
outlook of cognitive dissonance ignores
the intense feeling these individuals
still experience
not to mention the ways they'll still
attempt to replicate nothingness in
their own lives
one way of reading this contradiction is
that it is prohibition that leads to
fantasy we desire that which we cannot
have
not only is nothingness impossible we're
told that we must not achieve it
we might therefore desire nothingness
simply as a way to exert our freedom
the impossible is desired all the more
for its impossibility
one of the best references to the desire
to not exist can be found in the
philosopher soren kierkegaard's book the
sickness unto death
kierkegaard's argument is that the
torment of the desire to not exist is
the hopelessness of not even being able
to die
death means an end to life a perceived
nothingness though not a sickness that
will literally end in death once a more
horrifying reality than death is
encountered one will wish they could die
when even this last respite is taken
from them the desire to disappear will
consume them in an act that kierkegaard
calls despair
but as we've already discussed those
that suffer from the desire to not exist
don't exactly want to die kierkegaard a
deeply religious thinker thought of
despair as a response to the eternity
that lies after death
by replacing his mentions of death with
the idea of nothingness we lose
something from his writings but even if
we disassemble this part of his argument
the most fascinating portion still
remains
there exists even in life simulated
perceptions of eternity when time is
slowed to a crawl and every monotonous
day bleeds out in unity we are held a
hostage of eternity
boredom depression and nostalgia all
linger here
but some of the less familiar residents
of non-time also deserve a mention the
delirious ache of desire is felt here
and it is also in the silence of
eternity that we catch our glimpse of
nothingness eternity is important to
kierkegaard's argument because it
preserves everything he says a
despairing person wishes they could be
freed from
it's an eternity that the self remains
immutable that's exactly what can be so
dreadful about it
a self is a heavy burden
during the total cease fire of time the
inability to escape from ourselves grows
ever more prominent under the right
conditions that can be its own form of
suffering
[Music]
at a first glance the anime neon genesis
evangelion appears to be about angsty
teens piloting giant robots as they
fight otherworldly entities referred to
as angels
but in reality the show is about one 14
year old boy's fight with his desire to
not exist
of course spoilers ahead
each of the main characters suffers from
an intense existential loneliness
however it's in shinji a character
modeled after the anime's creator that
we find the show's depiction of this
desire
episode 16 is even titled the sickness
unto death in reference to kierkegaard
ava isn't shy about naming its
philosophical influences by explicitly
using philosophy neon genesis evangelion
presents us with an interesting
existential argument
in order to understand that argument we
need to take a look at the ideas of the
philosopher arthur schopenhauer another
one of the anime's major influences
in his book the world as will and
representation schopenhauer describes
the way individuality can cause
suffering he argues that the world is
made up of will and representation while
the total universe is in fact one thing
operating in unity human beings each
have their own will distinct from that
of the universe and each other
furthermore each person only experiences
a limited sample of the total universe
causing them to have their own unique
perspectives longings and pains
deschopenhauer as long as human beings
exist separately from one another there
will be suffering this dilemma is
portrayed countless times in evangelion
as the main cast of characters
repeatedly struggled to deal with the
pain inherent to the process of becoming
close to another person
ava doesn't just stop here though the
shadowy organization zela german for
soul seeks the literal unification of
all human life through what is called
the human instrumentality project
the project is intended to destroy the
boundaries of our egos and allow for
total harmony as each person's
consciousness is merged into one total
unit
don't leave me
don't ignore me
don't kill me
what the hell is this
this apocalyptic event will unite all
minds hearts and bodies as one in the
movie end of evangelion after the human
instrumentality project is unwittingly
put into motion by shinji we're
presented with a surreal commentary on
the psychology of those who desire
nothingness
help me
please oscar you're the only one for me
you're lying
you know you are you'd run up to anyone
you're afraid of misato and rey you're
afraid of your father and your mother
it's just that now you're only running
to me
it's the easiest and late painful thing
to do come on oscar help me the truth is
you've never really loved anybody the
psychoanalyst and philosopher jacques
lacroix suggested that her desires form
in response to our separation from one
another
le cor often discussed the existence of
something called the other
we can understand his mentions of the
other in two ways first as someone who
is not you
second as the big other a more ignomatic
character
the big others essential feature is that
we struggle to know what it desires
despite our persistent efforts to find
out
the big other is not a person parser
it is a symbol a category
all desire forms in response to some
lack in our lives
all desire fundamentally presupposes
other desires
and all desire craves recognition the
khan's argument is that your desire
comes from your best guess as to what
the big other lacks or desires
the big other is always present in the
mind it's imagined presence leading you
to wonder if your desire is acceptable
and more importantly if you as you
define yourself are a desirable person
schopenhauer saw the individual will of
the self as a pointless striving with no
end
to him only suffering arises from our
wants because our wants can only stem
from an initial dissatisfaction
this also applies to what lacal is
saying here about desire
there are many ways one's desire might
repel others and it is always a fact
that we never truly comprehend what the
other desires from us
the burden of desire easily finds itself
implicated alongside pain
evangelion makes a very important point
that obsessing over the desire of the
other can introduce feelings of shame
ending and the desire to not exist
shame is a deep disappointment with
oneself for not being desired a feeling
that the whole self isn't valid
yet it can only be felt before something
of an audience even if it's an imagined
one
in shame we view ourselves from an
exterior perspective that of the big
other
the desire of the big other isn't as
simple a matter as merely doing what
other people want from us it's about
wanting the thing other people want
shinji is afraid that he has no
desirable qualities other than being the
pilot of his eva and to be fair he's not
so far off he's let the demands of other
people dominate him demands that stem
from their own unresolved issues
visado wants shinji to be what she could
never be asaka wants him to be less
apologetic in pursuing her and by the
end of it all it's still not really
clear what his father desires of him
notorious is the dynamic that plays out
as a result
shinji thrashes about an indecision
hesitant to pilot his eva knowing the
pain it will cause him but nonetheless
wanting to please others
he's told to only do it if he wants to
which is really just a more severe way
of being told to do it and enjoy it
the presentation of a choice here is
really an illusion
all this culminates into the conflict of
shinji's own desires as they bite and
cower at the desire of the big other
in certain scenes and through certain
responses we see that shinji is a shame
that his desires are not those of the
others
one can think life is full of good and
still not want to fully take part in it
rebelling against all existence he
thinks he has acquired evidence against
existence against its goodness the
despairer thinks that he himself is this
evidence
acting against what we desire or feeling
disgust at what we desire both lead to
shame
both involve a sensitivity to the big
other desire always plays some sort of a
role in shame because the true nature of
our wants constitutes a fundamental part
of the self
despair over something such as rejection
really is despair over having a self
rights kierkegaard i believe the desire
to not exist can be understood as an
expression of frustration at one's
individual existence
despair rages in each of us as we
acknowledge the truth that we are not
one but rejection especially bruises
those who desperately want to be desired
these persons who suffer from the desire
to not exist really want to have no
desires to experience the freedom and
peace of a complete dissolution of the
self as it is known
we will never be one but after i cease
all striving forward perhaps i can numb
the pain inflicted on me by my neglected
desires
everything that matters to me matters in
this world and that's the precise reason
i find it all so tiring
the cold anesthesia of nothingness is
the nuclear option for desire
this attitude of distance is fully
displayed in the behaviors tied to the
desire to not exist
there's just one more thing i wanted to
understand
what's the solution
in order to figure that out i first
thought it necessary to get as close as
possible to actually experiencing
nothingness myself
sensory deprivation tanks are pods of
saltwater that work to eliminate each of
the five senses
in them there's no light sound or
gravity in order to experience what
nothing this is like i decided to jump
into one of these things
after setting up an appointment at a
place that offered these i step in and
begin to float
the lights turn off and slowly my world
is ending
finally only i remain
there is nothing
only warm primordial blackness
my body is sleek from the salt the water
feels as if it expands out infinitely
my limbs grow heavy in the darkness my
eyes project forth the after images of
meaningless shapes and colors that i
spend some time assembling into coherent
objects
my time in that pod felt both
instantaneous and infinite almost like a
dream
when it did end stepping out of the
darkness i felt as if i was emerging
from an imaginary space deep within
myself
and yet i found that the peace i
experienced there did not make me hate
existence
i rather felt content with it
in episode 20 of evangelion shinji is
dissolved into a primordial soup inside
of his mecca with only his consciousness
remaining
kind of like me here
given the choice to remain in the state
of nothingness or to return to the
physical world he contemplates his
self-worth
we're again introduced here to the fact
that shinji determines the value of his
existence through how desirable he is to
others
we are to understand however the
solution that is proposed here as it is
this that ultimately influences shinji
desire to return to the real world
it's your future only you can decide
shinji
you must make a choice
off philosophy is in some way an
interpretation of the philosopher's own
experiences
sensory deprivation although not as
surreal an experience as to what shinji
goes through here helped me to
understand that there is yet another way
to imagine ourselves returning life the
ticket
we do not need to allow the immediacy of
our existence to define us
we can learn to create out of the void
that we yearn to return to
we all have the ability to go from
feeling a mixture of pleasure and guilt
in our desire to feeling secure in the
thing that propels our desire
i believe that part of this process is
learning to decide for ourselves how we
feel about our desires and what causes
them instead of presenting ourselves to
be judged by a jury of our own conjuring
we must understand that everything in
this life is in the constant state of
becoming
all people will continue to grow closer
and farther from each other in an
endless a variety of ways
in our simulated eternities we fear that
we will always be prone to repeat the
same mistakes to desire the same things
and to always be the disgusting person
we are now
if we trust in the idea that even the
absurd is possible we can instead push
forward to carve out opportunities for
our acceptance
shame arises when we trust in the big
other to decide what is acceptable for
us
but the actual people in our lives while
they might not always agree with what we
desire still have the chance to accept
us if we trust them
friction will always exist between what
they want and what we want
accept that and you can take the risk to
be accepted yourself
in taking that risk and accepting the
potential pains of desire you'll already
have made steps towards accepting
yourself
and moved beyond the desire to not exist
if you enjoyed this video you'll
absolutely love my video on the game
with a perfect portrayal of trauma
Посмотреть больше похожих видео
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)