Why It's So Hard To Be Consistent
Summary
TLDRThe video script explores the concept of developing consistency in life, particularly for gamers. It challenges the notion that a lack of consistency is due to low motivation or discipline, instead suggesting that the core issue is a lack of self-awareness and understanding of one's true self. Drawing parallels with gaming, the speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing the flow of life and the need to live each day as a 'custodian' for the future self. The script encourages viewers to approach life with self-compassion and a sense of responsibility for the next day's self, as this paradoxically can lead to greater consistency and a more fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- 🎮 The core issue with developing consistency is not a lack of motivation or discipline, but a lack of self-awareness and understanding of one's true self.
- 🧘♂️ Ancient wisdom from Yogis in the Himalayas suggests that ignorance of our true selves is the source of suffering and inconsistency in life.
- 🕵️♂️ Recognizing that you are not the same person every day is crucial for understanding the fluctuations in your life and behaviors.
- 📚 Dr. K's guide is a resource designed to help individuals better understand their mind and take control of their life, tailored to fit their needs.
- 🤔 Gamers can apply principles from video games, such as understanding the flow and phases of a game, to improve consistency in life.
- 🌐 Life is compared to a multiplayer game where different versions of yourself are 'spawning' into your life one day at a time.
- 🔄 The concept of 'adia' or ignorance of one's true self can be related to the inconsistency in life and the tendency to leave problems for future selves.
- 🧠 Neuroscience explains future discounting, where the human brain values immediate rewards more than those in the future, leading to procrastination.
- 🛠 To build a consistent life, one must live as a temporary custodian, focusing on setting up a better life for the 'next player' or future self.
- 💖 Self-compassion and self-love are essential because sacrifices for a better future are more likely when you value yourself.
- 🔄 Accepting that there is no inherent consistency within oneself and focusing on living well for the present day can paradoxically lead to a more consistent life.
Q & A
What is the core problem with developing consistency according to the speaker?
-The core problem with developing consistency is not about motivation, discipline, or willpower. It's about not knowing who you are and living as if you are constantly spawning into someone else's life, which leads to inconsistency.
What is the concept of 'avidya' mentioned in the script?
-Avidya is a term from ancient wisdom teachings, specifically from the Yogis in the Himalayas, which refers to ignorance or not recognizing our true selves. This ignorance is said to be the source of suffering and problems in our lives.
Why do people often fail to maintain consistency in their lives?
-People often fail to maintain consistency because they don't recognize that they are not the same person every day. They fluctuate and live as if they are different individuals each day, leading to inconsistency.
What is the significance of understanding the 'flow of the game' in the context of the script?
-Understanding the 'flow of the game' is significant because it helps to apply the principles of gaming to life. It involves recognizing the different stages of life (early, mid, and late game) and how actions in one stage can impact the next, which is crucial for consistency.
How does the speaker relate the concept of 'future discounting' to the lack of consistency in life?
-The speaker relates 'future discounting' to the lack of consistency by explaining that our brains are wired to value immediate rewards more than future ones. This leads to behaviors where we leave tasks for future 'us' to handle, causing inconsistency.
What does the speaker suggest as the key to understanding consistency?
-The speaker suggests that the key to understanding consistency is to recognize that you only exist for today and that you are a temporary custodian of your life. This realization can help in setting up a better life for the 'next person' who will be you tomorrow.
What is the role of self-compassion in building a consistent life?
-Self-compassion plays a crucial role in building a consistent life because if you don't love yourself, you won't make sacrifices for your future self. It's important to care for the person you will become tomorrow to ensure consistency.
How does the speaker use the analogy of playing a video game to explain living life?
-The speaker uses the analogy of playing a video game to explain living life by suggesting that we should live as if we are only playing for 5 minutes at a time, being custodians for the next person who will take over. This approach can help in building consistency.
What is the importance of recognizing that there is no consistency within oneself according to the script?
-Recognizing that there is no consistency within oneself is important because it helps to accept that you only get to live today and that you don't get to decide what happens tomorrow. This understanding can paradoxically lead to a more consistent life.
How does the speaker connect the ancient principle of 'avidya' to modern-day problems and gaming?
-The speaker connects the ancient principle of 'avidya' to modern-day problems by explaining that ignorance of our true selves leads to suffering and inconsistency. He then relates this to gaming, suggesting that understanding the flow of a game can help apply this principle to life and achieve consistency.
Outlines
🎮 Understanding Consistency in Gaming Life
The paragraph discusses the challenge of developing consistency in life as a gamer, emphasizing that the issue is not about motivation, discipline, or willpower, but rather a lack of understanding of one's true self. It suggests that consistency is hindered by the fluctuation of one's identity and the ignorance of our true selves, a concept discovered by yogis in the Himalayas. The speaker introduces Dr. K's guide as a resource to help understand the mind and take control of life, and draws a parallel between the structure of a video game and the stages of life, pointing out the importance of recognizing the flow of life to achieve consistency.
🔄 The Illusion of a Static Self
This paragraph delves into the concept that we are not the same person every day and that our values, choices, and identity fluctuate. It explains how this fluctuation leads to inconsistency in life, using the analogy of a video game where one's early game decisions can disadvantage the mid and late game. The speaker highlights the human tendency to neglect future consequences due to a lack of stewardship and future discounting, a psychological phenomenon where the brain values immediate rewards over future ones. The paragraph encourages viewers to consider their actions as temporary custodians of their lives, impacting the 'next player' or future self.
🕹️ Embracing the Role of Temporary Custodian
The final paragraph focuses on the idea of living life as a temporary custodian, suggesting that we should act in a way that improves the situation for the next 'player' or future self. It uses the analogy of a Top Chef challenge to illustrate how individuals can work together towards a common goal, even if they are only responsible for a short segment of time. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and self-love as motivators for making sacrifices today for a better tomorrow. The paragraph concludes by urging the audience to live each day with the intention of setting up a better life for the future self, rather than creating a mess for them to inherit.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Consistency
💡Gamers
💡Flow of the game
💡Aidia
💡Stewardship
💡Future discounting
💡Nucleus accumbens
💡Custodian
💡Self-compassion
💡Body swap comedy
Highlights
Developing consistency in life as a gamer involves understanding that consistency is not about motivation, discipline, or willpower, but knowing who you are.
The core problem with consistency is ignorance of our true selves, a concept discovered by yogis in the Himalayas thousands of years ago.
People fluctuate daily and are not the same person every day, which is a barrier to consistency.
Understanding the flow of a video game can help us apply similar principles to life for better consistency.
Life is like a game with phases: early game, mid-game power spike, and end game, where maintaining advantage is key.
In life, there's often no consistency as people live without a sense of the game's flow, similar to a Pub match in gaming.
Recognizing that you only exist for today and are a 'multiplayer' in your own life can help develop consistency.
The concept of 'adia' or ignorance of our true selves is a root cause of suffering and inconsistency.
People often neglect future consequences because they believe they are not the same person who will deal with them.
Neuroscience explains future discounting, where the brain values immediate rewards over future ones.
Accepting that you are a temporary custodian of your life can change how you approach consistency.
Self-compassion is crucial for making sacrifices today for a better tomorrow.
Understanding that there is no inherent consistency within oneself is the first step towards building a consistent life.
Living as if you're playing a video game for only 5 minutes at a time can help improve life consistency.
An example from Top Chef illustrates the concept of being a temporary custodian and the importance of setting up a better situation for the next person.
Paradoxically, accepting the lack of consistency within can actually help build a more consistent life.
Transcripts
today we're going to talk about how to
develop consistency in your life as a
gamer now if you're a gamer chances are
you're trying to level up your stats
like motivation or discipline or
willpower or building habits because if
you can do all that you will be
consistent the problem with consistency
has nothing to do with net motivation or
discipline or willpower the core problem
with developing consistency is that you
don't know who you are you think you are
living your life but you're not living
your life you are constantly spawning
into some random dude's life and it once
you realize this your ability to develop
consistency will become way easier so
this was originally a discovery that
Yogi in the Himalayas made thousands of
years ago that the source of suffering
and problems in our life has to do with
aidia or ignorance of our true selves
and this is actually the case in your
life too because you kind of know that
you're not the same person every day
right you may have dreams of oh man
remember that one day that one week back
in March of 2023 when I woke up and I
did everything that I was supposed to do
man if only I could be like that person
and every day you wake up and you wish
you were that person but the problem is
that you're not that person that the you
actually fluctuates quite a bit and if
we want to understand how to develop the
right consistency in life we have to
understand how to live life hey just a
quick note a lot of people will ask
discuss what do I do next and that's why
we built Dr K's guide It's a
comprehensive resource that distills
over 20 years of my experience both as a
monk and as a psychiatrist and it's
designed in a way that's tailored to fit
your needs so if you're interested in
better understanding your mind and
taking control of your life check out
the link below so this is something also
that I think Gamers will be pretty good
at because we can sort of look at okay
how do we win in a video game how do we
get good at a video game what are the
general principles and how can we apply
that to to life so let's start by
understanding so if you want to play a
game and you want to be good at it you
have to understand the flow of the game
you have to understand the kind of
direction of the game right so there's
the early game and in the early game we
sort of level up and we prep things so
that we can hit our mid game Power Spike
and then once we have our mid game Power
Spike then it's just about not screwing
up and closing out the end game right
you've got your advantage then you can
kind of close things out the problem is
that much like your Pub matches when
you're playing your life there's no
in consistency there right your early
game is like yeah I'm going to like not
pay attention in high school I'm not
going to develop good study habits
therefore I'm going to go into my mid
game of like college and 20s with a
significant disadvantage and since I
have a significant disadvantage this
part of my life is really going to suck
and then I'm kind of going into my late
game of like 31st birthday and now we
have this like trash of like an early
game and mid game and then we kind of
Wonder oh my God like how how did I get
here right we're playing the game of
life with some like Elon Musk Elden ring
build which is like hey I got a level up
let me just dump a point over here and
dump a point over here oh that item
looks cool like I'll start using that
item this is the way that we're living
life there's no consistency because we
have no sense of the flow of the game
and this is the other problem is that if
you really stop and think about it
you're not playing the game of life as
one person in fact that's the whole
problem is that you wake up on a
different day and you're actually like a
different person so the key thing that
we need to understand is that if you
want consistency you have to start by
understanding that you don't exist
Beyond today that your life is actually
a multiplayer game where random people
are waking up in your life and get to
live life one day at a time now you may
say but Dr k no these are all these
people are me no this is the problem
this is what the yogi said this is a
Vidya you don't know that this isn't
actually you you're just a random person
living this life one day at a time and
that may sound weird but think about it
for a second right because what do you
love to do you love to screw over
tomorrow you right so here you are on a
given day and it's like okay well like
today I have to like go through the mail
and I have to do laundry and oh yeah I
have to fill out those applications for
college but do you actually do those
things no of course not why not you tell
yourself I will do it later but it's not
the you that has to do it later it's
that next guy or girl who has to do it
later I'm going to leave this for the
noob tomorrow and so you spend your life
enjoying today and then you wake up
tomorrow and then who do you get mad at
do you get mad at yourself sort of you
get mad at the dude that came before you
right because that person damn it why
didn't that guy do this crap that needed
to be done instead I'm waking up today
and I have all this stuff that this
person yesterday did not do so if you
really stop and think about it the basic
problem with life is that you don't
recognize that you only get to live for
this moment in time this is the only
time that you get to be in charge and
this is why you are so neglectful right
because if we sort of look at it when
people have no conception of the future
when they have no sense of stewardship
what do they do they screw things over
for the next person and this is exactly
how we live our life I'm going to do
this today because tomorrow me can
clean up this mess and so the
you actually f U Ates quite a bit and
this runs deeper than the mind right so
we know that desires fluctuate emotions
fluctuate the problem is that it runs
deeper than that it's not just at the
surface levels of the mind it's your
values it's your choices it's the life
that you're crafting you can wake up on
January 1st 2024 and decide this is the
year that I order a uh learn to play a
musical instrument and then you order a
musical instrument and then since you're
an Amazon Prime member it shows up in 2
days and two days later it's January 3rd
and you're like you know what but I
don't want this anymore the person that
you are has changed so what do we do
about this how do we start to live a
life of of consistency if we ourselves
change every single day and this is the
first thing to understand is that so far
you've been trying to build a consistent
life assuming that you are the same
every single day but the whole point and
you know this is that you're not the
same every day right this is why you are
so attached to a former version of
yourself so many people in our community
are like man I wish I could go back to
being this person that I used to be I
wish I could I wish I could have learned
what I am today I wish I could have
learned that 10 years ago and then my
life would have been completely
different if you really stop and look at
your experience of life you recognize
that there's a lot of fluctuation in so
what do we do about this so the first
thing to sort of really tunnel down into
is that if you live a life temporarily
if you're just inhabiting your body for
one day what would your life actually
look like and this is where chances are
you would kind of screw things up right
this is why public toilets people piss
on you know piss all over the public
toilet because they don't have ever have
to use it again this is why public
toilets are such a mess because there's
no sense of stewardship because I can
leave it for the next person and if you
look at your life and you lack
consistency what's going on there you
are leaving stuff for future you to deal
with right you don't want to deal with
it today and people may Wonder well why
is that and this is where there's an
interesting bit of Neuroscience that
comes in so if you look at the human
brain we've evolved to do this like have
this problem with future discounting
which basically means that we as a human
species this is the way we've evolved
value a dollar today more than $2 a year
from now so we our brains are wired
there's a part of our brain called the
nucleus accumbens and it's wired to
Value things that are immediate more
than things that are distant and so if
you sort of think about it for a second
right let's say I've got two things to
do I want to play a video game let's say
it's Friday I've got to play a video
game and I've got to fill out an
application so my brain looks at this
problem and says okay I've got these two
things to do and due to future
discounting I can do my work today and
then I can have fun tomorrow but
literally my brain values fun today more
than fun tomorrow this is why we
fundamentally as a species procrastinate
so what do we do about this we have to
understand that we are inheriting this
life from the person who came before us
and we are custodians of this life for
the person who comes next see our life
is not one where we exist from moment to
moment to moment it's some weird body
swap comedy and all of those body swap
comedies what happens this person's
Consciousness gets transplanted into
this new body and what what does their
life become their life becomes a
playground of there's $10,000 in the
bank account well I'm going to buy
whatever the hell I want to because this
person who will come after me will have
to clean up that mess so we really have
to accept this so I want youall to start
living your life as if you're playing a
video game but you're only playing it
for 5 minutes at a time if you're
playing a MOBA game and someone else is
like in the bathroom and they're like oh
no the que popped start playing the game
for me how are you going to play that
game even though you won't get the joy
of winning are you going to start saying
like Okay like lol I'm going to screw up
this person's game and then they can
inherit it 5 minutes from now and then
what whatever no when you sit down to
play the game if you really pay
attention you're going to try to play
the best game that you can even though
you're not going to get the joy of
winning then you step out of the seat
your friend steps into the seat and then
they take over and when that second
person steps into the seat they are
custodians of the game for five minutes
they don't get to see the victory right
they're only playing for five minutes
they're swapping for someone else and
then that next person plays the game
when do games go wrong when someone
who's sitting stops playing in 5 minute
intervals when someone who's playing for
the first 5 minutes and your enemies
feed then they think oh my God the game
is lost everything is screwed and then
what do you start doing you start ining
down mid and you start over the
guy next who comes next and then when
you respawn you're in this game but
you've screwed things up for yourself
even more see this is the key thing to
understand when we connect our present
day to some kind of outcome we recruit
the nucleus
we begin to tilt everything gets Tangled
together and we actually lose control
instead how should you play a game where
you've you know gone 0 and two and mid
and things are not going well okay I am
a custodian of this game for the next
five minutes how can I play this game to
improve things for the person who comes
next this is exactly how you should live
your life so my my favorite example of
this actually comes from outside of
gaming so many years ago I used to love
watching this show called Top Chef and
in this this this one particular episode
of Top Chef they had this really cool
challenge where they had teams of chefs
and there's a team of five chefs okay
and they have to make a dish the only
catch is that one person goes into the
kitchen starts cooking for about 5
minutes and then they leave the kitchen
the next Chef on the team comes inside
it's almost like a relay race and they
have to figure out what F Chef number
one was thinking and then they have to
sort of continue their process and then
they leave after 5 minutes Chef number
three comes in tries to figure out
what's going on and then tries to do the
best and move things along the
interesting thing is that if you start
living your life this way if you start
by really acknowledging that you are not
the one who gets to live the remainder
of your life you don't get to win at the
end you are just a custodian for today
it will change the way that you live
life ironically it will help you
actually build consistency because if
you just exists for today what kind of
Life do you want to set up for the
person tomorrow now some of y'all may
say say but I don't care about the
person tomorrow if I'm just living for
today why wouldn't I be like the body
swap comedy person and just burn through
everything so this is where we have to
understand another aside so this is
where self-compassion becomes very very
important and a lot of people misunder
understand this they really struggle
with things like motivation and stuff
like that but if you really don't love
yourself what is the point in making
sacrifices for your life see we make
sacrifices for things that are worth it
so I can afford to eat healthy today or
go to the gym or whatever if the person
I'm doing it for is worth something
right we sacrifice for those that we
love and if you're in a situation in
life where you don't love yourself why
would you sacrifice for something that
you don't love and this is why if we
don't love ourselves it can become very
hard to make sacrifices today for a
better tomorrow because we don't care
about the person who's inheriting
tomorrow so we've got to be super
careful about this particular pitfall at
the end of the day if you want to live a
life of consistency paradoxically what
you really need to do is recognize that
there is no consistency within you you
just get to live today you don't get to
decide what happens tomorrow because
youve tried that right you tried that
some time ago where you're like I'm
going to play games today the person
tomorrow can do the work and what
happens when you wake up tomorrow the
person is like ah I'm not going to do
the work today I know I said I would do
it yesterday
but today I'm not going to do it and you
punt things along punt things along punt
things along so just accept that you
don't actually live your life you are
just a temporary custodian you're
constantly spawning into this person's
life and once you start doing that then
ask yourself how do I want to live this
life today am I going to set things up
better for the person who's going to
inherit tomorrow or do I want to be a
hedonistic and create a mess for
the person who is is inheriting tomorrow
and the whole problem is that we end up
doing the latter thing because we think
that there is consistency because we
think that we can make up for it
tomorrow but that's impossible if that
worked none of us would actually be here
so I know it sounds bizarre but
paradoxically understanding a little bit
about gaming understanding the flow of
game can help us understand this ancient
principle of aidia or ignorance leading
to suffering and problems in our life we
just have to adapt it a little bit for
the gamers in our
[Music]
audience
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