10 Toxic Behaviors of Female Covert Narcissists

Summary

In this video, therapist and life coach Lise Leblanc discusses 10 often overlooked signs of female covert narcissism. These behaviors, while not formal symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, indicate toxic patterns in relationships. Examples include creating drama over minor issues, using emotional manipulation like fake tears, avoiding accountability, and isolating partners from friends and family. The video highlights how these narcissistic traits are driven by a need for control, sympathy, and validation. Lise emphasizes that consistent patterns of such behavior should be addressed with professional support to overcome narcissistic abuse.

Takeaways

• 😀 Female covert narcissists often escalate minor issues into major conflicts, creating chaos and conflict in relationships.
• 😢 They use emotional manipulation, such as 'alligator tears,' to deflect accountability and evoke sympathy.
• 😷 Chronic health complaints are frequently used as a tool for gaining attention and sympathy, often without legitimate medical reasons.
• 🚫 They avoid guilt and shame at all costs, deflecting responsibility and manipulating others into believing they are the victim.
• 🧹 They exacerbate mundane issues, such as chores, with high expectations and constant criticism, creating an environment of constant dissatisfaction.
• 💬 Disagreements with covert narcissists often revolve around emotions rather than facts, making constructive conversations nearly impossible.
• 🔒 They use emotional blackmail, including threats of self-harm or ending the relationship, to manipulate and control others.
• 🤐 Communication breakdowns are common, with covert narcissists resorting to stonewalling or giving the silent treatment to avoid discussions.
• 🔍 They are highly critical of others but expect empathy and understanding in return, often complaining about people while failing to show the same consideration.
• 👥 They isolate their partner from friends and family by accusing them of inappropriate behavior, eventually leaving the partner feeling isolated and controlled.

Q & A

What are the key traits of a female covert narcissist as described in the video?

The key traits of a female covert narcissist include creating drama over trivial matters, emotional manipulation (such as using tears to deflect accountability), chronic health complaints, avoiding guilt and shame, and constantly criticizing others. They also tend to isolate their partner from friends and family, engage in emotional blackmail, and avoid resolving issues through stonewalling or shifting topics.

How does a female covert narcissist handle conflict, according to the video?

A female covert narcissist tends to escalate minor issues into big arguments. They are masters at creating chaos out of small problems, often focusing on worst-case scenarios and rejecting any positive perspectives. They prefer to have their victim narrative validated rather than solving the problem.

What is emotional manipulation in the context of a female covert narcissist?

Emotional manipulation in the context of a female covert narcissist involves using vulnerability, often through dramatic tears, to avoid responsibility. This emotional display is used to gain sympathy, regain control, and deflect from their behavior or mistakes.

How does a female covert narcissist use chronic health complaints?

Female covert narcissists frequently complain about vague or unspecified health issues to attract attention and sympathy. These complaints serve as a way to avoid responsibilities and overshadow others' needs, while also manipulating others into providing special treatment.

What is the typical response of a female covert narcissist when confronted with guilt or shame?

When confronted with guilt or shame, a female covert narcissist becomes extremely defensive. They often deflect blame, attack the other person, and may even flip the narrative to portray themselves as the victim. They rarely offer a genuine apology and instead manipulate the situation to avoid accountability.

How does a female covert narcissist handle household chores and expectations?

A female covert narcissist takes 'chore wars' to an extreme. They constantly criticize how chores are done, set unrealistic expectations, and complain about the quality of work, even when others complete tasks that aren't theirs. They may also guilt others into doing more tasks, even when they themselves are not pulling their weight.

What is meant by emotional reasoning in the context of a covert narcissist?

Emotional reasoning refers to the behavior where a covert narcissist argues based on emotions rather than facts. When disagreements arise, they may introduce new topics or shift the discussion, making it difficult to resolve issues logically and frustrating the other person.

How does emotional blackmail work in relationships with a female covert narcissist?

Emotional blackmail involves the covert narcissist making empty threats to manipulate their partner. This could include threats of self-harm, damaging their partner’s reputation, or threatening to end the relationship, all designed to create fear, insecurity, and control the relationship dynamics.

What does stonewalling look like in a relationship with a covert narcissist?

Stonewalling involves a female covert narcissist refusing to engage in productive discussions. Instead of addressing issues, they may withhold affection, give the silent treatment, or avoid communication altogether, effectively manipulating the other person by denying resolution and leaving them emotionally vulnerable.

Why do female covert narcissists isolate their partners from friends and family?

Female covert narcissists isolate their partners by creating false accusations against their friends or family members, such as accusing them of inappropriate behavior. This results in the partner cutting off relationships, leaving them isolated and dependent on the narcissist, who can then exert more control over them.