Three Key Steps to Take Before Persuading Others

Summary

In this video, Paul Metta, a human communication researcher, shares three key strategies to improve your ability to influence and persuade others. He emphasizes the importance of mastering your emotional state, creating genuine rapport through commonality, and understanding the balance between reward and fear in decision-making. By detaching from the outcome, building rapport quickly, and highlighting what others stand to gain or lose, you can enhance your persuasive impact. Paul also offers a free sample of his book with additional persuasion tactics for viewers.

Takeaways

• 😀 Change your emotional state to one of confidence before persuading someone.
• 😊 Avoid appearing desperate or overly attached to the outcome to prevent resistance.
• 🤔 Influence and persuasion involve changing the listener's mind by showing them the benefits of saying yes.
• 🙅‍♂️ People resist because they fear losing time, money, or energy, so don't seem overly attached to the result.
• 💪 Shift your body language to exude confidence, like standing in a superhero pose or stretching.
• 🤝 Build genuine rapport by finding commonalities, such as shared interests, to create a connection.
• 🚫 Avoid using fake rapport, which can turn people off; be sincere in your interactions.
• 🎯 Influence people by highlighting both the rewards they will gain and the losses they might avoid.
• ⚖ People are more motivated to avoid loss than to gain rewards, so present both elegantly.
• 🔑 To persuade effectively, be aware of how to communicate the gains and losses without fear-mongering.

Q & A

What is the first shift suggested to make others more persuadable?

The first shift is to master your emotional state before communicating, ensuring confidence and non-attachment to the outcome.

Why is it important to have a sense of non-attachment when persuading others?

Non-attachment is important because if you appear too desperate or attached to the outcome, the other person may sense ulterior motives and become resistant.

How does changing your physicality affect your persuasion efforts?

Changing your physicality, such as standing confidently or adjusting your body language, boosts your confidence and helps convey a sense of control and detachment, which makes others more persuadable.

What is rapport, and why is it important in persuasion?

Rapport is the relationship and connection you build with someone. It is essential because the more rapport you have, the more influence you can exert over the person.

How can you create genuine rapport with someone?

Genuine rapport is created by finding commonalities with the other person, such as shared interests or experiences, rather than using superficial or fake flattery.

What role do 'reward and fear' play in decision-making?

Reward and fear are two main drivers of decisions. People are motivated by the desire to experience pleasure (reward) and the need to avoid pain (fear).

Why is the fear of loss more influential than the desire for reward in persuasion?

People are more likely to act to avoid loss than to gain something because avoiding pain is a stronger motivator. This makes it crucial to emphasize what they might lose if they don’t agree with you.

How can you present potential loss without causing resistance in the other person?

You can present potential loss elegantly by painting a picture of what they stand to gain or lose without using fear tactics or threats that might create resistance.

What are some quick ways to shift your emotional state before influencing someone?

You can shift your emotional state by changing your physicality, such as standing in a powerful pose, shadow boxing, or even doing a quick stretch to feel more confident.

How can building rapport quickly impact your ability to persuade someone?

Building rapport quickly gives you more 'influence currency,' allowing you to say or suggest more without the person becoming defensive, which increases your chances of persuading them.