Divorcing online
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the YouTuber discusses their two-year journey since their divorce, addressing the disconnect they felt from their audience due to avoiding the topic. They share their experience of avoiding the issue, the anxiety it caused, and the support they received from their community. The creator also talks about their current relationship, the balance they're seeking between personal life and content creation, and their plans for future videos, including a skydiving vlog.
Takeaways
- 😊 The speaker reveals that it has been two years since their divorce and this video is a way to share that with their audience.
- 🤔 The speaker hadn't addressed the divorce publicly before, leading to some confusion and disconnection with their viewers.
- 💬 The speaker acknowledges that after the split, they focused on work as a distraction, not realizing it until much later.
- 😟 Despite sharing the news on social media, they still received unwanted comments, which caused anxiety and discomfort.
- 🙌 The speaker appreciates the positive and supportive response from the majority of their community during this difficult time.
- 😢 Over time, the negativity and gossip around the situation led the speaker to develop anxiety, especially about reading comments and posting online.
- 🛑 The speaker even closed their subreddit due to the overwhelming amount of gossip and overanalysis about their personal life.
- 🤷♂️ They acknowledge that in hindsight, they could have handled the situation differently, but they did the best they could at the time.
- ❤️ The speaker introduces a new relationship and shares that they are now in a better place emotionally, having moved on.
- 🎮 Finally, the speaker expresses that they are still figuring out how much of their personal life they want to share, but they remain passionate about creating content focused on gaming and fun with loved ones.
Q & A
Why is the speaker making this video?
-The speaker is making this video to officially address their divorce and reconnect with their audience, as there have been lingering questions about their personal life.
How long ago did the speaker get divorced?
-The speaker got divorced two years ago.
Why did the speaker not want to talk about their divorce initially?
-The speaker avoided talking about the divorce because it was a difficult topic, and they preferred to distract themselves with work and other activities to avoid thinking about it.
What emotions did the speaker experience after announcing the divorce?
-The speaker experienced anxiety, overthinking, and a sense of dread when reading comments or engaging with the audience, due to persistent questions and gossip about their personal life.
How did the speaker's audience respond to the divorce announcement?
-While there were negative comments, the majority of the speaker's audience was supportive, sending kind messages and defending them against disrespectful comments.
What impact did the divorce have on the speaker's relationship with their YouTube channel?
-The divorce created a sense of disconnection between the speaker and their YouTube channel, as they felt the channel was behind in reflecting their personal life, leading to feelings of anxiety and discomfort when engaging with viewers.
Why did the speaker close their subreddit?
-The speaker closed their subreddit because of negative posts, gossip, and overanalysis of their personal life, which contributed to their anxiety.
How has the speaker’s content changed since the divorce?
-The speaker has tried to balance how much of their private life they share on YouTube and has experimented with different content approaches, including increasing the quantity of videos but ultimately preferring quality-focused content.
What has the speaker learned about balancing their personal and public life on YouTube?
-The speaker has learned that while they enjoy sharing parts of their life, they are still trying to find a balance between being open and keeping certain things private, especially after experiencing anxiety and overthinking due to public scrutiny.
How does the speaker feel about their current situation and future content?
-The speaker feels they are in a good place now and are happy with their life and the content they are creating. They are still experimenting with their YouTube direction but are enjoying the process and looking forward to future projects.
Outlines
😊 Opening Up About Divorce After Two Years
The creator reflects on their divorce, explaining that it happened two years ago and addressing viewers who might still be unaware. They mention how their ex used to appear in their videos and that the video serves as a way to share the experience of divorcing in the public eye. Despite not wanting to talk about the divorce initially, the creator recognizes a disconnect with their audience and feels it's time to update their viewers about the emotional journey.
😔 Coping with Avoidance and Public Scrutiny
The creator delves into the feelings of avoidance that arose after their divorce, explaining how they immersed themselves in work as a distraction. Although they tried to keep their private life out of the public eye, this only led to more anxiety as people kept asking about the divorce. They liken the experience to working retail, where random customers would bring up the painful subject, leading to emotional discomfort. The creator also describes how gossip and unsolicited questions from viewers added to the emotional toll.
❤️ Community Support Amid Negativity
The creator discusses the positive support they received from their community after publicly sharing their divorce. Despite the negativity from some people, many viewers showed empathy and kindness, especially through private messages. This overwhelming support became a turning point emotionally, as hundreds of messages reinforced the creator's connection with their audience. The creator emphasizes how this YouTube community handled the situation with understanding compared to others in similar situations.
😓 Anxiety and Overwork Post-Divorce
The creator admits to developing anxiety from overworking and struggling with public interactions, especially during the podcast they started. They reflect on how overanalyzing and obsessive thoughts made things worse. The pressure of being constantly scrutinized, especially regarding their personal life, created mental and emotional challenges. They also express how this period of overthinking affected their confidence in sharing opinions and experiences.
🤔 Reevaluating Privacy and Public Life
As time passed, the creator considered being more private, inspired by other YouTubers who maintain boundaries between their work and personal lives. However, they realized that sharing personal stories is a fundamental part of their channel's identity. Meeting someone new (referred to as B) reminded them of the joy of combining personal life with content creation. Despite this, they remain unsure of how much of their private life they want to share, constantly seeking a balance.
💡 Hindsight and Reflections on Communication
The creator reflects on how they initially revealed their divorce, mentioning that they could have communicated it more clearly. They regret not being more direct, as it caused confusion among viewers when introducing their new partner. This led to increased anxiety and difficult interactions with the public, culminating in the closure of their subreddit due to hurtful gossip. The creator emphasizes that people often overanalyzed their actions, adding to the stress they were already feeling.
🏠 New Beginnings and Moving Forward
The creator shares their current situation, revealing they've moved out of their previous home and are now living with B in an apartment. They explain how this transition has brought a sense of peace and personal growth, though they remain uncertain about their future living arrangements. The creator stresses that they've moved on emotionally and no longer want viewers to express sympathy, as they're in a much better place mentally.
🎮 Channel Direction and Future Plans
Closing the video, the creator addresses their content strategy, reflecting on an earlier decision to prioritize quantity over quality. They quickly realized that this approach wasn't right for them, as they prefer ensuring each video meets their personal standards. Despite recent life changes and moving, the creator feels energized about future content and excited to continue making videos. They tease an upcoming skydiving vlog and thank their viewers for their continued support.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Divorce
💡YouTube community
💡Anxiety
💡Privacy
💡Connection
💡Public perception
💡Overwork
💡Support
💡Subreddit
💡Balance
Highlights
The video serves as a personal update, revealing the creator's divorce from two years ago.
The creator explains the emotional journey of balancing personal hardships with being an online public figure.
The video acknowledges a feeling of disconnection from the audience due to not addressing the divorce sooner.
The creator initially avoided discussing the divorce by immersing themselves in work and projects, including streaming and a podcast.
Acknowledging the emotional strain of receiving constant comments and questions about the divorce.
The community’s response was mostly supportive, with hundreds of positive DMs received after addressing the situation.
The creator developed anxiety about opening up, partly due to overanalyzing feedback and criticism from viewers.
The decision to close the subreddit stemmed from negative and hurtful posts that overanalyzed personal behavior.
The creator expresses gratitude to their community for handling the news of their divorce with respect and empathy.
A reflection on the difficulty of balancing how much personal life to share online, especially in light of past experiences.
After a year, the creator met their new partner, B, and started creating content with them, reigniting a passion for sharing life moments online.
The creator recognizes that while they did their best at the time, looking back, they would have addressed the divorce more directly.
The creator is now in a good place emotionally and appreciates the growth and changes over the last two years.
Despite challenges, the creator remains committed to making content and is figuring out how much of their personal life to share moving forward.
The video closes with plans for future content, including a skydiving vlog, and gratitude for the community's continued support.
Transcripts
hello um real fun title on this one this
is
a so it's been two years since my
divorce uh
and this is my way to kind of get it out
there for the people who still I every
now and then still now I still get
questions saying like oh wait what what
happened like so this is my way to get
it to the few people who maybe still
don't know of my viewers uh that I'm
divorced uh so two years ago yeah so if
you're if you're new around here if
you've come in the last two years and
you're like what what's this about I
used to be married and uh my ex used to
be in some videos and stuff and that's
what this video is going to be about
it's going to be about um uh well my
divorce uh more so what it's like to
divorce online I need to
feel um a connection that I feel is
missing with you guys I've been doing
YouTube for 16 years and I think I've
been very good during that time at
staying connected with you guys not to
say that there haven't been events that
I haven't told you about
uh that was a lot of negatives but I
think that came out right there things
have happened of course in my life that
I haven't talked about the thing is
though that when I divorce that's
something you guys need to know about
because you find out and yet I also
didn't want to talk about it and that
led to me feeling there was a little bit
of a disconnect with my audience on
here and
um I'm now in a place where I think I I
feel that I've moved on and I feel that
I'm in a good place
but I still feel like my YouTube channel
is a step behind me based on comments I
get I feel like I haven't really updated
I I need to connect me and my channel
and to do so I think I need to open up a
little bit um about what the last two
years uh sort of explaining some of the
emotions you've seen in me um and again
this isn't about drama that's not what
this video is going to be about so you
can just click right out if that's what
you're looking for I know that a lot of
uh the internet is about that that's not
what what I'm about
um if you've ever gone through something
difficult then you know the feeling of
wanting to just avoid it wanting to
distract yourself like when it's just
like it's not something you want to
think about you know whatever it is so
you'll distract yourself through work or
a hobby or games or traveling or drugs
or alcohol whether it's good or bad you
know that feeling of like oh I don't
want to think about this and so that's
what I did not on purpose I didn't do it
deliberately or like conscious ly Just
Looking Back Now I could see that's what
I did I just started working a ton uh
after um Alex and I
split so yeah that's what I did for a
few months um and then came the time
that you know it was time so I put up a
tweet telling people uh about it and
then finishing it with like H can you
respect that like I don't want to talk
about it um and then I just went back to
streaming and doing things and I even
start started a podcast with Richard I
was doing a lot um and I'm going to get
to the podcast as well
but the difference at that point was
that now people know um and
so I developed uh well it became an
issue because I still didn't want to
talk about it and the only way I could
explain is it's the equivalent of being
at a job where
you're I've worked retail before it's
the equivalent to me working retail and
every fourth customer that comes or not
fourth but you know every now and then a
customer in the day will be like
so you feel like [ __ ] huh like it was
just it it's not very nice and I don't
think I have to put it in any more
perspective than that um so that was
kind of the struggle at that point and
um whether it was me being live or
putting up a video every now and then
there'd be someone um gossiping or not
even gossiping but um just making things
up or asking me about it or um or uh
what's it what's the word I'm looking
for word not brainstorming uh I guess is
gossiping whatever it sucked people were
talking about it um so I de I developed
a lot of anxiety around that
time
um it was a shame actually because I
really like and this is something I've
said a lot I like the part of YouTube
where you put up a video and then you um
read comments I love reading feedback it
that turned into something negative for
me where I was like dreading opening the
comment section because there's always
like it's kept being this lovely lovely
lovely random comment about the thing
you don't want to talk about and like
it's just it's not very nice um and I'm
sure people right now are thinking not
all of you but I'm sure there's some of
you thinking you know this obviously
comes with a job and stuff and yeah it
does you don't have to tell me that I I
I am aware that this comes with a job of
being in the public eye um that is
something I've heard over the last two
years people have been quite uh awful
about it in fact like just like what do
you expect and it's like yeah I could
still feel [ __ ] you know it's not like
I'm not surprised that doesn't mean I
don't get to feel feelings around it
um the I want to be clear though that
the majority of of my community's
response was positive you guys were
lovely I've seen and and people who were
negative I've seen plenty of you guys in
the replies telling them to show some
respect and um there was at some I put
up an insta story and reply to someone
who uh uh I wanted to reply to and I got
I got hundreds
hundreds oh that made me emotional uh I
I actually got hundreds of messages DMS
from from um from you guys showing
support because I I I just did a story
where I was um responding to someone who
said that he deserved to know like what
happened or something it was something
like that and and and and that was so
lovely to me because um that was in
private as well I think it's one thing
when people are doing it in a comment
section and it's public and they know
others are going to see it but I got I
got uh hundreds of of DMS Page Long
showing whoa that was a really um big
moment for me I think people were people
were really really lovely so while this
video focuses a lot I'm just going to
keep going here uh on the negative side
of the last two years just want to make
it clear that like I think that this is
uh and I mean this this is one of the
communities on YouTube where I think uh
I don't think there's many communities
online that that can can deal with their
YouTubers divorce well done guys such
you it was genuinely like I do think
that I've had
it pretty good compared to some other
YouTubers who would go through the same
thing you yeah my community has been
very nice with that said I developed
anxiety
issues and um I think at some point I I
I noticed I was a little overworked I
went a little too deep with work um and
that's when I and I had anxiety like the
podcast I had anxiety around it I got
into this point where I
was uh I started overthinking I've
always been an overthinker as you know
and uh I'm quite obsessive with my
thoughts and I I came to a point
where uh oh I just lost my thread one
sec yeah um the podcast I I was getting
a little bit of anxiety uh I was both
overworked having trouble keeping up
with everything thing but also just
anxiety about talking on a about
opinions on a podcast and stuff nothing
to do with my divorce it's just it was
just an effect of it that I I think
Looking Back Now like I there's a lot
that's changed me over the last two
years um and I I I second guess myself a
lot or
um I I when I say things online and put
up Clips I'm really worried how people
are going to take it because I I know I
think I just felt I was being
overanalyzed and uh there were certain
things uh certain posts I've seen from
people
uh which I'll get to I don't have to go
into details but um anyway it sucked
time goes on so at this point it's been
maybe 10 11 months and and that's when I
closed the podcast or closed stopped it
I'm just summarizing in my head where
we're at um over this time what I had
been thinking
was you know that maybe I shouldn't be
so public about my life maybe I should
close up a bit and just do like there's
a lot of YouTubers who do gaming videos
just like me who maybe don't show so
much about
life I felt very much like seeing the
negative side of it which is what I was
focusing on I was like oh God I I can't
do this you know where and and I I felt
a little lost I think
um
um and but we kept going and I kept
streaming kept making videos uh roughly
a Year's gone by and I met B and I think
I was reminded very quickly about uh why
I do things the the way I do them um why
I like I enjoy
sharing um my life and stuff with that
said I'm still in a place just to
forward like I I'm still in a place
where I don't know I'm trying to find a
balance with how much I want to talk
about about my private life and things
about me and stuff and like how much I
want to show but um I very quickly was
like I I want to play like pubg with you
you're hilarious I this is fun like
let's let's like I think my what my what
I've come to realizes my channel on
YouTube is about um videos mainly games
with people I love uh and and and so um
so I made some videos with B who was my
girlfriend
and the the problem was there was one
problem with it and it's that I still
hadn't really announced fully on YouTube
I had done I've skipped the part let's
rewind two months that's what I was
going to say two months prior to that I
I realized that not enough people knew
cuz not everyone's on Twitter so I put
up a YouTube video at that point I did a
20-minute commentary about something
else and in the in the last like two
minutes I said that I'm divorced and
asked people to stay respectful I don't
remember exactly when it was but it was
in the beginning of that year you know
it was it was a few months after I put
up the Tweet um anyway fast forward to
I'm making videos with b and I realized
this is kind of like
I I don't blame myself for how I did it
but I probably should have looking back
if I could do it all again I would have
ripped off the Band-Aid and instead of
doing a tweet and then some like at the
end of a video commented I would have
just put up a video like
this but I don't blame myself you can't
blame yourself doing something like for
hindsight for something you did the
first time like it's you you can't be
too hard on yourself and and I'm trying
not to be but it led to issues you know
I'm I've brought a a girlfriend out into
the Limelight and I a lot of people
people don't even know that I'm divorced
and so I got a lot of questions about it
and stuff led to more anxiety I was
struggling
was um it was
messy um led to Me closing the subreddit
my subreddit was fun there were a lot of
fun posts but this wasn't the first time
over the years it's been gossip here and
there and it [ __ ] sucks man why why
do we
like I'm not going to go deep into the
human psyche of why people gossip but I
didn't want to subred it around it just
wasn't nice people are overanalyzing and
this is what I mean about me um when I
say that I've started second guessing
things I say and stuff it's an example
of it like there was uh um posts there
was one post someone was like
overanalyzing how I acted playing pubg
with Bea and his conclusion was that I
hate my
girlfriend and it was uh there was a lot
of stuff like that where um people were
just genuinely
awful
um so close the
subreddit um I need to kind of summarize
my thoughts I've kind of zoned out give
me a
sec did that pause sorry about that I
didn't know how the uh I didn't know how
the OBS pause button worked um
anyway yeah I think this the the summary
of that is it I you know I could have
done it better over the last two years
but I did as best as I could man and
um I don't know I'm in a good place at
the moment don't say you're sorry that's
something I get a lot these days I or
not a lot but every now and then someone
will come in and they'll find out they
go oh I'm so sorry and it's like don't
be sorry I'm I'm in a good place
um I've moved now as you can tell it's
actually the first time since I was 20
it's the first time in 12 years roughly
that I don't own anything I I was going
to find a place and I realized I don't
know where I want to live or if I want
to live in a house or apartment so um
I'm living with be at the moment in her
apartment and um and I've rented an
office in an office building you might
see me in a new place in half a year you
might see me in a new place tomorrow you
might see me in a new place two years
from now I don't really know um I'm kind
of vibing just kind of relaxing at the
moment and figuring myself out I'm happy
to have moved out of the house
um and I I hope you guys take what I've
said with the I don't know I hope I hope
we're good I hope that I've uh I think I
just needed a
open up just a little bit I want to
thank you guys for having been uh
respectful and lovely this this this
Channel at the end of the day is just
games with with with friends um but uh
but there is emotions involved
obviously um right regarding that video
at the start of the Year where I said
that I want to focus on quantity not
quality here we go like let's change it
up yeah I quickly realized I don't want
to do that I I spent about a month and a
half doing that experiment I took on a
couple of extra editors and then and
then the whole point of it was for me to
lower the bar and like maybe not have to
put as much thought into video but I
ended up working more because there were
more videos for me to check and then I
also quickly realized I kind of enjoy
making sure each video is like in my
standard perfect uh so the last couple
months maybe there hasn't been quite as
many videos as I wanted but I have been
busy moving uh I'm starting to settle
down now and stuff and we got a lot of
good videos coming um I'm still figuring
out where I'm at
uh on U both with YouTube and like I'm
still trying to try things I've been
taking on more sponsorships recently
which I've been enjoying trying to be
creative with them and I'm still trying
to figure out how much of my life I want
to show you guys but uh I'm I'm very
much enjoying YouTube at the moment and
uh speaking of private life there's a
jet jet packing when you're using a jet
pack you do not hold down space jet pack
stop no there's a um skydiving Vlog uh
coming in the next few days so I hope
you guys will enjoy that um thank you
guys so much for being viewers and being
around and being lovely I don't know if
comments are going to be on on this I'll
decide that when I upload much love guys
bye-bye
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)