the 10 laws of self obsession
Summary
TLDRIn the final episode of season 3, the host reflects on the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession' that encapsulate the season's lessons on self-love and personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of independence in relationships, selective friendships, embracing failure, and living an extraordinary life. The host also discusses the significance of letting go of the past, embracing change, building confidence, protecting personal energy, and taking control of one's happiness. As she prepares for a break before season 4, she encourages her audience to continue on their self-obsessed journey, promising more insights and growth in the upcoming season.
Takeaways
- 🎙️ The podcast episode marks the end of season 3 and introduces the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession', which are unique to each season and encapsulate the lessons learned.
- 🎬 The host reflects on the journey of the podcast's growth, including the transition to video content and the challenges faced in stepping out of her comfort zone.
- 📚 The host encourages listeners to use the break between seasons to engage with her self-love book, which provides further insights and practical actions for personal growth.
- 🧘♀️ 'Law 1' emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence in relationships, advocating for a balance where one's identity is not lost within a partnership.
- 👭 'Law 2' discusses the need for selectivity in friendships, suggesting that the quality of relationships is more important than their quantity for personal development.
- 🌟 'Law 3' motivates listeners to strive for an extraordinary life by embracing habits and mindset shifts that align with their highest aspirations.
- 🚀 'Law 4' encourages embracing failure as a stepping stone to success, promoting a mindset where failures are seen as necessary for growth and learning.
- 💔 'Law 5' speaks about detaching from the past, suggesting that while it's okay to reminisce, one should not dwell on past experiences to the detriment of present opportunities.
- 🔄 'Law 6' highlights the importance of embracing change and being open to new seasons in life, as a means of personal evolution and growth.
- 🏋️♀️ 'Law 7' underscores the significance of discipline and commitment in forming habits that lead to personal transformation.
- 📈 'Law 8' addresses the concept of building confidence, suggesting that it's a choice and an internal dialogue that counters societal beauty standards and insecurities.
- 🛡️ 'Law 9' focuses on protecting one's energy by setting boundaries, observing rather than absorbing negativity, and disengaging from one-sided relationships.
- 🎉 'Law 10', the bonus law, centers on taking control of one's happiness by intentionally incorporating joyful activities into daily life, regardless of external circumstances.
Q & A
What are the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession' mentioned in the podcast episode?
-The '10 Laws of Self-Obsession' are principles that summarize the lessons learned throughout the season and provide guidance for self-improvement. They include maintaining independence, being selective with friends, living an extraordinary life, embracing failure, detaching from the past, embracing change, setting habits, balancing planning and action, building confidence, and protecting your energy.
How does the podcast host emphasize the importance of independence in relationships?
-The host stresses that true self-love involves setting boundaries and maintaining your individuality even while in a relationship. It's about living three lives: your own, your partner's, and the one you build together, without losing your sense of self.
What does the host mean by 'becoming selective with the people you call friends'?
-The host suggests that not everyone can align with your personal growth and that it's crucial to be discerning about who you allow into your life. She believes that the company you keep influences your mindset and lifestyle, so it's important to associate with people who uplift and inspire you.
How does the host view failure in the context of personal growth?
-The host encourages embracing failure as a stepping stone to success. She believes that failure is not a personal attack but an essential part of the journey to growth and self-improvement.
What is the significance of detaching from the past according to the podcast episode?
-Detaching from the past means not dwelling on past memories or experiences with guilt or shame. It's about appreciating the journey and the person you've become as a result of those experiences, without letting them define your present or future.
Why is embracing change and new seasons in life important as per the podcast?
-Embracing change is crucial because it allows for personal growth and the opportunity to explore new paths that might lead to greater fulfillment. It's about being flexible and open to new experiences that can redirect you towards a more abundant life.
How does the host define an extraordinary person?
-An extraordinary person, according to the host, is someone who goes beyond the norm, sets high standards for themselves and their relationships, and actively works on personal development to achieve their full potential.
What role do habits play in becoming self-obsessed as discussed in the podcast?
-Habits are essential for personal transformation. They require discipline, commitment, and intention. The host suggests that mastering one habit can lead to increased confidence and discipline in other areas of life.
How does the host suggest balancing planning and action for effective personal development?
-The host recommends planning in stages and taking action after each phase of planning. This approach prevents over-planning, which can lead to inaction and maintains momentum towards achieving goals.
What is the importance of confidence in the self-obsession laws, and how can one build it?
-Confidence is crucial as it allows individuals to overcome insecurities and embrace their self-worth. The host suggests that confidence is a choice and can be built by giving oneself permission to be confident and by challenging societal beauty standards.
How does the host advise protecting your energy in the context of self-obsession?
-The host advises protecting your energy by observing rather than absorbing negativity, disengaging from one-sided relationships, and being mindful of when and how you engage your emotions. This helps maintain inner peace and happiness.
What is the final law of self-obsession discussed in the podcast episode?
-The final law of self-obsession is taking control of your happiness. The host encourages finding ways to incorporate joy and magic into daily life, focusing on activities that bring happiness, and giving oneself permission to be happy.
Outlines
🎙️ Podcast Season Finale and Self-Obsession Laws
The speaker welcomes the audience to the final episode of season 3 of her podcast, which focuses on the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession'. She reflects on the journey of the podcast's growth, including the transition to video content in season 3. The host expresses excitement for the upcoming season 4 and encourages listeners to continue their self-improvement journey. She also promotes her self-love book as a resource for personal growth during the break until the next season.
👫 Maintaining Independence in Relationships
The speaker discusses the importance of maintaining personal independence even while in a relationship. She shares her experiences and emphasizes that self-love does not mean isolation but includes setting boundaries and standards in relationships. The speaker advises listeners to balance their individual lives, their partner's life, and the life they build together, ensuring they do not lose their identity in the process.
🌟 Becoming an Extraordinary Person
The speaker stresses the need to live an extraordinary life by being an extraordinary person. She encourages listeners to avoid comparing themselves to others and to embrace their unique path. The speaker also talks about the importance of not fearing failure but instead viewing it as a stepping stone to success. She introduces the concept of 'falling in love with your failures' as a way to motivate personal growth and development.
🔓 Embracing Change and New Beginnings
The speaker talks about the importance of embracing change and being open to new experiences. She advocates for flexibility and the willingness to try new things, even when it involves stepping out of one's comfort zone. The speaker also discusses the value of learning from past experiences and using them as lessons for personal growth, rather than dwelling on them.
💪 Building Confidence and Protecting Energy
The speaker emphasizes the importance of building confidence and protecting one's energy. She discusses the idea that confidence is a choice and that insecurities are learned behaviors. The speaker also talks about the need to protect one's energy by observing rather than absorbing negativity, and by setting boundaries in relationships that are one-sided or draining.
🎉 Taking Control of Your Happiness
In the final paragraph, the speaker focuses on the importance of taking control of one's happiness. She shares her personal practice of incorporating joyful activities into her daily life and encourages listeners to do the same. The speaker concludes the season by thanking her audience for their support and looks forward to reconnecting in the next season.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-obsession
💡Independence
💡Selective friendships
💡Extraordinary life
💡Failure
💡Detachment
💡Change
💡Confidence
💡Energy protection
💡Happiness
Highlights
Introduction to the final podcast episode of season 3 focusing on the 10 laws of self-obsession.
Reflection on the journey of season 3 and the growth of the podcast into video format.
Announcement of a break before returning with season 4, which will continue on video.
Emphasis on the importance of rewriting one's story and shifting narratives through podcast episodes.
Encouragement for listeners to give themselves a round of applause for their progress.
Discussion on maintaining independence in relationships as part of the first law of self-obsession.
Advice on being selective with friendships to protect one's energy and mindset.
The third law of self-obsession is to live an extraordinary life by being an extraordinary person.
The fourth law encourages falling in love with failures as stepping stones to success.
Exploration of detaching from the past and using memories to appreciate personal growth.
The sixth law is about embracing change and new seasons in life to avoid stagnation.
Stress on the importance of discipline and commitment in forming life-changing habits.
The eighth law of self-obsession focuses on building confidence despite insecurities.
Advice on protecting one's energy by observing rather than absorbing negativity.
The final law of self-obsession for season 3 is about taking control of one's happiness.
Closing remarks and gratitude for the audience's support throughout season 3.
Transcripts
[Music]
welcome back my obsessed girlies to the
final podcast episode of season 3 can
you believe we are finally here it's
episode 10 time which as you know every
single season the season finale is all
about the 10 laws of self-obsession
which of course are different every
single season and sums up everything
we've learned in the last season along
with some more exclusive lessons woven
in as well I honestly can't believe that
this is the end of the third season guys
it hasn't even been a year since I
started this podcast can you believe it
and season 3 was actually the birth of
self-obsessed being on video getting a
studio which honestly was like so
stressful and so scary and so outside of
my comfort zone but I did it and it's
here and we did a whole season here and
now I'm going to be going on a little
bit of a break before I come back at the
end of the year with season 4 which by
the way guys of course will still be on
video and still available to watch on
YouTube but there's going to there be so
much more new stuff that I can't wait
because the goal is always to just keep
leveling up with every season I put out
you might not even realize it but with
every single podcast episode you have
been rewriting your story Shifting The
Narrative learning so much more about
life about yourself about how to love
yourself so while everybody else is
waiting until January to start thinking
about their goals and how they're going
to level up you are literally already
halfway there you are already laying the
foundations to be about to enter 2025
and have it be the best year of your
life can we just just take a second to
give you a round of applause right now
you better be giving yourself up on the
back okay because you deserve it I'll be
back in November for season 4 but until
then let's go through the 10 laws of
self- obssession which runs of every
single thing that we learned in this
lesson and even more and before we get
right into it be sure to check out all
of the links underneath this podcast
episode or in the description if you're
watching on YouTube where you can check
out all of my socials my other YouTube
channels my self-love book that just
came out so if you don't know what to do
in this season break then reading that
book will help you honestly master and
accomplish self- Leve it contains every
single lesson I used on my journey and
even more it gives you context and
lessons and mindset shifts and even
practical actions no matter what stage
of your life you're in no matter what
you're going through whether you're in
the healing Journey it covers everything
but without further Ado let's get into
it the 10 laws of self-obsession law
number one maintain your Independence
even if you're in a relationship as I
discussed at the beginning of this
season the biggest mistake I made on my
self love Journey was allowing it to get
myself into a place where I was
isolating myself from others and
thinking that I only ever needed myself
that is not healthy and we are
inherently social beings we need other
people and building relationships with
other people and going through those
challenges and learning about each other
and adapting and growing together is so
fundamental to living a good fulfilling
happy joyful life before I got into my
relationship I was acting from a place
of trauma and survival where I was just
super hyper independent and it was my
protection mechanism to make sure that I
didn't get hurt where you know I was
dating but I wasn't dating seriously and
I was just turning people away and it
wasn't until I had to learn that
self-love does not equate to the absence
of loving others true self-love is also
incorporating all of the information you
need on building relationships on
enforcing and setting boundaries on
heightening your list of Standards so
you don't settle for other people again
I actually would argue that when you do
put yourself into the dating world or
when you are out making new friends and
trying to meet new people you are
actively practicing your self love then
with what you decide to accept and what
you reject in the treatment that other
people give you it's a wonderful test of
how you've grown and how you're showing
up for yourself and so really the
ultimate balance for this law and for
the self-obsessed girlies is you can
date and you can be in your relationship
but at the same time that does not mean
the absence of yourself not everything
needs to revolve around your partner you
are still solo dating you are still in
your phase of self-discovery and
learning about yourself whilst you are
also learning about your partner and you
have to remember that when you are in a
relationship you are living three lives
in this partnership with this other
person you are living your life your
partner is living their individual life
and then your third life is the life you
are building together a lot of people
forget the first
two guys if you were on YouTube I'm so
sorry guys that was actually so
unintentional anyways a lot of people
forget about the first two lives and
they just focus on the lives they're
building together with their partner but
what this risks is a complete loss of
identity and revolving your entire world
around a person and getting so Overly
Attached that you forget who you are are
and if you had to separate yourself from
this person or they're not serving you
anymore you're going to be too fearful
to leave them and you're not going to
know who you are without them and we are
not about that we are setting the
foundations right now with solo dating
and pouring back into ourselves and
figuring out who we are and what we like
so we make sure we're never stuck in
that situation ever again the second law
of self-obsession is to become selective
with the people that you call friends I
have made it very very clear in my years
of being online that you cannot go
around just calling anybody your friend
okay that is low key self sabotage and I
feel for the people that are in this
phase of their lives because your girl
used to be there too okay and it is so
easy to get trapped in this because we
grow up in a society and around people
who promote this idea that you are
likeable and attractive and worthy with
the more people that you have in your
circle and the more popular you are when
in actuality that is so far from the
truth the more people you surround
yourself with in my opinion just
represents the lack of boundaries and
the lack of standards that you have set
because I promise you not everyone can
align to you yes a lot of people are
super nice and they're fun to hang out
with but that does not mean they deserve
a place in your life to then receive all
of your time effort attention energy
emotions connection and honestly a piece
of your mindset because whoever you are
surrounding yourself with you are going
to end up being the average of them of
their mindset of their lifestyle so you
have to be super picky with this and you
can only associate yourself with the
people that align to your highest
purpose if you are an ambitious person
and if you are focused on your growth
journey I think the biggest tip for my
self-obsessed gires is to just get super
intentional with why you're friends with
certain people and a lot of people are
going to skip out on this and a lot of
people don't get it and they're like you
know why does everything need to be
aligned with growth and why does
everything need to be self-improvement
it doesn't it really doesn't it's
literally just down to thinking of
course I am only going to hang out with
somebody if I walk away from that
interaction feeling either inspired or
just joyful or like it added some magic
and happiness into my day why wouldn't I
because at the end of the day if you're
not adding those things then why
wouldn't I just spend all of that time
with myself or bettering myself or
working on my passion projects or
meeting other people or exploring the
world rather than inviting people into
my life just for the sake of having
company the Third Law of self-obsession
is to live an extraordinary life you
must be an extraordinary person honestly
this was probably my favorite episode of
the entire season 3 of self-obsessed I
loved it because with our beautiful
community over on the internet all of my
self-obsessed girlies are all inspired
by the fear of being average we want to
go the step further we want to level up
we want to see what our full potential
is and because of this goal and this
ambition and this passion to just be the
best version of yourself the self-
obsess girlies are not out here trying
to follow the Norms we are making rules
for ourselves and we are making sure
that in order to live up to this ideal
version of ourselves to be this
extraordinary person we are also putting
in all of the habits and all of the
daily mindset shifts and practices to be
able to also live an extraordinary life
so that we can align to that higher
version of ourselves so that we can get
there faster this means skipping out on
the normal regular thing of comparing
yourself to everybody around you because
that is just a human thing to do no the
self-obsessed girl take it a step
further and they block out that natural
human instinct because they know there's
no point comparing to anything if that
person isn't exactly where they need to
be what links into that is a
self-obsessed girlly set even higher
standards for the people they associate
themselves with surround themselves with
are friends with because they know it's
going to affect their mindset and their
energies and they're trying to do
themselves the best favor by placing
themselves in rooms that uplift them and
educate them and Inspire them to go to
the next step another practice of
becoming an extraordinary person and
therefore living an extraordinary life
first is to understand that failures are
not personal they're not an attack on
you they do not define you or present
this idea that you are incapable or
unskilled no no no no no they are so
essential every single human being has
to go through through them we are not
wasting time grieving and feeling bad
about it or oh my God quitting our
passion what we wanted to do so much
just because we messed up a few times no
we learned so many lessons from that
that was simply a part of the journey
that was a stepping stone that has
better prepared us for the next level of
where we want to get to and this of
course links into the fourth law of
self-obsession which is falling in love
with your failures the feeling of
failure shouldn't scare you it should
motivate you I have heard and read so
many self-improvement podcasts and books
where people say you need to regularly
check in on how often you're failing
because if you cannot recall one time
that you have failed this week or this
month then you are not trying enough and
you were not living enough and I
personally couldn't agree more if
everything in your life feels super easy
and comfortable and everything is
Flowing nicely well yes that might feel
good it doesn't exactly mean you're
living up to your full potential because
getting there means getting outside of
your comfort zone and getting outside of
your comfort zone means doing the things
that you are going to be bad at and
guess what by placing your ego aside and
putting yourself in situations where
that skill doesn't come that naturally
egy walking up to strangers to talk to
them and going to networking events or
setting up a business or trying to
present and public speak when you know
you can't do that allows you to start to
develop new skills allows you to grow
your confidence and your self-perception
which really are all of the building
blocks to you becoming the person that
you really want to be because when you
are Desiring something when you are
manifesting something you don't
instantly get the result okay you don't
just do Step A B and C to put in the
work and then you're just going to get
the thing no you get the journey that
you need in order to become the type of
person that has that thing so many of us
are scared of failing but really if you
just take a step back and think about
the last few times you failed you know
you would never make those mistakes
again and you know that you are so much
better off since making those mistakes
any single time you had a difficult
interaction with a friend or a person
you started learning what boundaries
were or you started learning how to work
on yourself or your confidence or how to
speak to strangers and the list goes on
and the moment that I finally rewired my
brain to start seeing my failures as
stepping stones to my inevitable success
guess what happened I started attracting
even more success into my life because
one I was operating from an abundance
mindset which meant that no matter what
happened I did not see it as a personal
attack or that my life is so unlucky or
that I'm so bad at things no no no
everything is working out in my favor
everything is happening as it should
everything that I desire is still on its
way to me and when you are thinking in
that energy and in that realm of course
everything that happens in your life is
going to follow suit and you're going to
keep attracting more of it but also
second when you are going through bad
times and you think this is happening
for a reason or I'm learning something
from this or this is helping me get to
the next stage when you are that
confident in your failures and in things
going badly that's what encourages you
to keep it pushing and to keep going
self-doubt who is she I have never heard
of her she has no place there at that
point the fifth law of self-obsession is
to detach from the past learning to let
go of the past is one of those things
that we hear all of the time and it
sounds so good and makes so much sense
in theory but in reality it's so hard
it's hard to let go of and you can't
just tell yourself I'm not going to
think about the past anymore and then
there's some off switch that turns off
all of these emotions and thoughts
absolutely not and I I don't think that
Detachment is about turning off your
past memories and not revisiting them I
actually think a lot of the time there
can be power gained in revisiting those
emotions and when these past emotions
and these past experiences and memories
come up in your head because I promise
you they will it happens to everyone the
self- Lov test is you not feeling guilty
or bad or shaming yourself for thinking
about those things you know why because
it's simply a flashback to the life that
you've lived and you cannot avoid that
you lived through that and how amazing
is it that at any point we can access
anything we've lived through in our
brain Nostalgia is proof that you've
lived life and any single time I get
flashbacks of people that I don't like
or I would never want to talk to again
or past situations that I definitely
like would not want to re revisit I
started to look at it with a lot more
positivity cuz I'm like but that made me
who I am and I had to go through that
and a lot of the time when I'm thinking
of the girl I was in these flashbacks or
in these past times in my life I get
happy cuz I'm like I'm not her anymore
and that actually just gave me the most
beautiful reminder that I'm so far from
where I used to be in the best and most
positive way and like she doesn't even
know me she really doesn't and I I I
don't even get her because we're so far
apart and because I've come such a way
and so really all of your past memories
and all of this Nostalgia even if it's
from times that you'd rather forget
isn't you dwelling on the past it can
just be shifted into you appreciating
how far that you've come and that in
itself is the process of Detachment it's
detaching from this attachment we have
from oh my God what about this or I used
to do this or I have this thought now so
how do I feel about this person or do I
miss them no no no you just let go and
you just let things flow and you let
these flashbacks and memories come in in
and out of your brain and that's okay
and you don't dwell on it too much or
think about it too much I also think the
past is so powerful because it gives you
such valuable insight into the fact that
nothing lasts forever and that the
things that you once thought could have
destroyed you you end up getting over
and everything ends up pretty much just
like you wanted it to and so I love
having this bank of memories in my head
and I no longer feel bad about thinking
about it some days or maybe just going
back in time a little bit to feel sad
about something that happened because
when I come back to my present moment I
remember oh but that moment had to
happen for a reason and now I know the
outcome of that moment and all of my
past experiences serve as proof that any
of my current worries and any of my
current stresses will turn out in the
exact same way it's not the end of the
world I do not need to worry about this
everything is going to happen as it
should this too will pass and I'll
become better as a person as a result of
it and I'll become wiser and my life
will move on to the next phase having
said that it is super important to have
a balance and while it's really
important to give yourself that
self-acceptance and self- L when you do
find yourself being surrounded with
these flashbacks it's important not to
go there too often because the more you
revisit your past and the more you
decide to live there and all of the past
mistakes and everything that's happened
thus far you miss out on all of the
lessons that are sitting right in front
of you that your future self is looking
back on and thinking I need you to pay
more attention or I wish that you taken
more advantage of that or I wish you
acted in this way you have all of the
Power and all of the control right now
to create your destiny and to create
your dream life the more that you're
living in the things that have already
happened and cannot be changed you or
forfeit your right to create more
abundance and more joy in your present
life your life is happening to you right
now right in front of you please pay
attention to it next up is little six to
becoming self-obsessed and this is by
knowing when it's time to embrace change
and New Seasons in your life AKA when
it's time to just rigate redirect maybe
try something new and not stay stuck in
the same place forever I am the biggest
advocate for vision boarding and
planning out your life but when you
become so attached to the destination
and what exactly it has to look like and
you're not flexible for change or any
other opportunities and you get so rigid
with I have to be here in 5 years time
or else you miss out on all of the
wonderful opportunities that could come
along on the way that could be offering
you everything that you didn't even know
you needed and wanted and on this
journey of self- Lov and self growth
it's so important to know when it's time
to try something new to just break out
of the pattern a little bit to
definitely step outside of your comfort
zone and do it with intention and I
think bad moments and adversities that
happen in your life you know unexpected
challenges are the best time to practice
this because when you finally step out
of the self-sabotaging mindset where
something bad happens to you and you
think why can't I catch a break and why
is life unfair to my life is a book
everything good or bad is so necessary
to happen in my story to get me to my
inevitable abundant ending sometimes you
don't get what you want because you
simply weren't meant for it and it's
trying to redirect you to a place that
you couldn't even think up on your own I
really have started to think that life
or SL the universe gives you these
pushes to get you into doors and to get
you into places that you didn't fully
have the realization that you should
have gone there because a lot of the
time we can make the wrong decisions for
ourselves you know we're following
patterns of familiarity you know
especially if we grow up in places of
chaotic energy or around toxic people we
never really know where to navigate
ourselves and I think it's so important
to take a step back and think maybe that
didn't work out for a reason or maybe
I'm being pushed to this place for a
reason you know maybe things aren't
working out because it's leading me to a
place that is so much better than I
could have ever imagined for myself like
think about it what if I'm just setting
the bar too low what if my standards
aren't that high and this is leading me
to a place that is bigger and better
than I could even think up for myself
everyone talks about habits how
important they are for your growth and
your personal development but usually
the conversation normally stops there
and we don't talk enough about the
discomfort that is required for you to
set the habits that you need to be able
to transform into the person that you
are truly meant to be it requires
discomfort and discipline and commitment
and most importantly intention in
setting all of those habits that's why I
always say that one of the biggest
habits that ever changed my life was
simply the act of doing what I said I
wanted to do when I said I was going to
do it because it truly helps me practice
so much discipline and so much
commitment and when you master like one
skill in one area of your life maybe
it's creativity maybe it's productivity
maybe it's time management in my case it
was this discipline and commitment just
in you know like going to the gym when I
said I was going to no matter what the
weather was like or no matter how I felt
that commitment and discipline then
starts showing up in every other area of
your life you simply need to accomplish
it with one hard task and you'll find
yourself more confident and your
self-perception would have caught up to
be able to have you recognize that you
now have the ability to carry that habit
anywhere else another habit that
absolutely changed my life was the habit
of constantly revisiting those New
Year's goals you set in January now
listen to this carefully because Jan is
literally just around the corner you
guys like we are about to embark on
another whole year and while you are in
the process of thinking about how much
you want to make the most of 2025 and
all of these goals you want to set let's
please additionally set a plan or
schedule on how often we are going to
revisit those goals that we are setting
on a weekly basis let's reference that
goals list that you wrote down and
commit one hour per week to doing
something that gets us closer to one of
the tasks on that list or let's schedule
2 minutes every single morning while
we're brushing our teeth or getting
ready for the day while we are staring
at our vision board and actually
visualizing the success That We crave
rather than walking past the vision
board every single day and forgetting
it's even there or rather than getting
eight months through the year before you
realize oh crap I haven't done anything
on my New Year's resolutions list that I
said I was going to do not only does
referencing your New Year's goals list
when you're scheduling out your week and
time blocking your month and everything
so helpful from a productivity
perspective but it also keeps you super
accountable and it allows you to
identify as the type of person that once
again does what they say they're going
to do another life-changing habit I set
was finding the fine balance between
planning and action and planning is
absolutely great she is that girl I love
her but there is a very fine line where
you can plan so much that you are simply
just avoiding action and you were just
not making progress on actually doing
the task or bringing the goal into your
life and too much planning becomes a
place of self-sabotage where you're
simply delaying progressing on your
journey because you are stuck in a place
of perfection ISM and not letting your
your voice be heard or not letting
yourself express yourself or put out the
things you want to and then so much time
passes that you end up giving up on the
thing and instead what I like to do is
plan in sections or in stages you know
so I'll plan for the initial stages of
launching something I'll launch it and
then there's another phase of planning
to develop it and so on and so on and so
on let's take this podcast as an example
guys like this podcast season one was
literally One Singular microphone on my
tiny Ikea desk in my very first
apartment I would be facing a white wall
it was just audio I would literally
record every single episode in my
pajamas I could you not season two I
then had to plan for okay how am I going
to do guests and then season 3 then I
started planning okay what is video
going to look like what's the setup
going to be how am I going to edit all
of these things and I did it in stages
which has helped me get out all of these
Seasons all in one year and make all of
that progress but if I was stuck in that
beginning stage I would have had such
analysis paralysis about I can't do a
studio and I can't do this and what
videographer am I going to have and how
am I going to find editors and it's so
much to deal with all at once that
that's what accelerates that fear that
prevents you from even starting in the
first place the eighth law of self-
obsession is you need confidence to
build confidence and if you guys
remember season 3 episode 8 was actually
an exerpt from my audio book biosa the
dam flowers I gave you guys a little
insight into chapter 8 from the book
which is all about confidence building
and this law is all about the fact that
confidence is a choice insecurities are
not an inherent part of you they are by
no means valid or accurate or Define you
mm- every insecurity anybody has has
been taught to them you were not a
little child running around nervous
about how your body looked or worrying
about if your hair was nice enough or
worrying if you were too introverted or
extroverted or whether you should be
mysterious or be less of a yappa and all
of these things that are given to us all
of the time all these new beauty
standards and ways of being to be able
to be worthy and liked by other people
you never had that in you but as you've
grown up you hear so much chatter about
what is the right way to be that
obviously is going to influence you and
obv it's going to infiltrate your
mindset and make you question if you are
good enough just as you are but the
truth is you are and the only person
that can ever tell you that and make you
believe it is yourself you need to give
yourself permission to be confident you
need to give yourself permission to go
against beauty standards where it's like
actually I don't need this to be
beautiful or to be accepted or to like
and love myself I'm going to tell myself
I don't need that whether it's a nose
job or a hairstyle or a way of dressing
or a body shape or a personality trait
you are the one who gives yourself that
permission
because I'm telling you these beauty
standards and these Trends they change
every single day okay what is
fashionable today everybody loved 10
years ago and vice versa and it just
keeps changing and while we can't
control that we disrespect ourselves
every single day we criticize and we
call ourselves out on our insecurities
you know we don't let ourselves look in
the mirror with full confidence or a
picture is taken of us and we start
berating our appearance or saying that
we don't look good enough in it every
single time you take an action like that
you are constantly validating the belief
that you are not good enough and that
you are not ACC confident person that
you don't like yourself fully and that
you are not perfect when I promise you
you are but of course I go into way more
detail on what self confidence is the
mindset shifts and habits you need to be
able to implement it and really get to a
solid secure place of confidence in your
life where it is long lasting and
consistent in my book bi yourself the D
flowers which is available to order
worldwide on Amazon you can check the
link in the description the ninth law of
self-obsession is to protect your energy
which of course was the episode right
before this one besties we need to start
protecting our energy because our energy
literally introduces us before we can
even verbally try to one of the best
tactics to protecting your energy to be
your happiest and most at peace self is
to observe rather than absorb instead of
going into every single situation and
letting these people drain your energy
or taking everything they say is truth
or paying so much attention to people
and just letting them take and take and
take from you we are going into places
and we are visualizing ourselves being
protected our energy is so protected
regardless of what another person's
actions might be no matter what they
might say no matter how they treat as we
visualizing we are protected nothing can
penetrate this bubble around us but also
on top of that we are observing people
before we allow them to have access to
our lives and our time and our energy
and our feelings even if everything
around you is full of chaos you can
still be at peace if you are creating
that environment for yourself in here
you need to work on this before you go
into the outer world we are never going
to have control over how people are
acting and what they are saying to us
but we do have control as to the meaning
we put to every experience we have with
another person and then how we decide to
internalize it another way to protect
your energy is to disengage from
one-sided relationships relationships
where they take and take and take from
you and you are literally left with
nothing you are not doing yourself any
favors it is not honorable to keep
giving chances to people where they are
ranting or they are stucking victim
mentality and you will constantly saving
them it is just taking from you and not
uplifting you because if you are a good
enough and intelligent enough person to
be pouring in all of this effort and
time and emotion to other people then
you deserve the same back you need to be
replenished just like you replenish
others and another way of protecting
your energy which I think is severely
underrated is acknowledging when you are
using your energy and in what aspect and
I think specifically this means not
arguing where my anger was needed and
when it would best serve me not the
other person my life changed my life
changed a lot of the times it's so easy
to have an emotional reaction and to let
your initial emotion get the best of you
but please self-obsessed girles please
try to question yourself if I let this
emotion out of me now what are going to
be the consequences of it most
importantly is it going to serve me
because while somebody might be
mistreating you and you want to be angry
and you want to shout and give them a
taste of their own medicine I know
that's going to feel really good and
feel like it's deserved for them but
where does it get you if you are in the
workplace and you need to stand up for
yourself to set a boundary 100% you do
that that is clearly serving you and
your needs but if this is about arguing
with a person who clearly does not
listen and will never change you will
simply depleting your own energy for no
reason at all and finally we have the
10th law of self-obsession a the bonus
lesson for this episode and the final
thing I'm going to say for season 3 of
self-obsessed are we ready the 10th law
of self-obsession is taking control of
your happiness and I say this this is
the 10th law for this season because
this is something that I have been
actually actively living and practicing
while I've been going through these last
10 weeks recording all of these episodes
this has been the newest addition to my
life where I'm just in this habit right
now where I'm waking up every day and
I'm thinking what can I do today that I
can look forward to what can I do today
that's going to make me feel really
happy and I try to incorporate at least
one thing a day that just gives me joy
and yes it's not possible every single
day we are busy we have responsibilities
we got places to be but as long as the
intentions there and you're trying to be
as consistent as possible with it and
that might mean making sure that you
stay focused with your work all day so
that you can have a movie night at night
or taking yourself on a solo date guys
I'm about to leave the studio in 10
minutes I'm going to the cinema on a
solo date to celebrate the fact that I
finished my podcast season rather than
going straight home and going to bed and
just doing errands like I normally would
it's always doing things in trying to
incorporate Joy or or magic into my life
to romanticize my life and just break up
the mundane regular existence that I
could live otherwise which eventually
after a few weeks will leave me feeling
bored and depleted and drained wondering
why my life is so boring no we are ahead
of the curve we are laying the
foundations we are making sure that we
are so accountable for our mental health
and happiness and especially when it
comes to mental health I am constantly
hacking my happy hormones that means
exercising as regularly as possible I'm
spending way more time walking in the
morning in nature trying to get as much
sunlight as I can I'm trying to spend
more time with my loved ones or call
them on the phone it's about giving
yourself the permission to be happy I
promise you that you are the creators of
your own story and your own life and the
difference between going to bed feeling
so exhausted and miserable to start of
the day versus going to bed feeling so
happy and content with the life that you
live even if not all of your goals might
be fulfilled that is not a factor in
this okay that is not a factor it's
about choosing how you want to receive
every experience that you might have
lived that day
what better way to show yourself that
you just love yourself so much than to
make sure that you are putting your
energy in high places and that you are
making sure that you were just a happy
individual and you were trying to
extract Joy from as many things as you
can and that brings us to the end of
season 3 of self-obsessed thank you guys
so much for being with me on this
journey throughout season 3 I cannot
tell you how much I appreciate you
please comment down below if you're
watching on YouTube what was your
favorite episode from this season I
would love to know because already we're
we're starting to plan season 4 and all
of the topics and cont content so I'd
love your recommendations as well but
thank you guys I honestly I appreciate
your support so much I see all the time
your supportive messages the fact that
you guys subscribe so fast to the
self-obsessed YouTube channel that you
comment on every video like it just
warms my heart so thank you so much I'm
wishing you the best of luck on your
self-obsessed journey and I know that
even though I'm not going to be around
on the podcast for the next 6 to 8 weeks
I know that you guys are going to be
putting in the work because the gires
are accountable because the girlies are
aware because the girlies stay educated
I'm so proud of View and if you really
need your self-help fix be sure to check
out my other YouTube channels where I'll
still be uploading every single week I
appreciate you and I will see you in
November for the next podcast episode
bye
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