Understanding Baby's Temperament
Summary
TLDRIn this engaging discussion, Dr. Don explores how a baby's temperament can vary and affect parenting. He explains the three main types of temperaments—easygoing, slow to warm up, and more challenging. Dr. Don emphasizes that temperament is often inherent and parents should focus on understanding and adapting rather than trying to change their child's behavior. The conversation also highlights the importance of empathy and sensitivity in parenting, as well as the need to anticipate challenges while nurturing a child's unique personality traits.
Takeaways
- 👶 Baby temperament can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting.
- ❓ Parents often wonder why their baby's behavior differs from other babies, a common question for pediatricians.
- 👶 Babies show signs of temperament as early as two months, such as joy, fear, anger, and sadness.
- 🌎 A baby's personal style reflects how they interpret and respond to their environment, including hunger, tiredness, or discomfort.
- 📚 Babies can generally be categorized into three types: easygoing, slow to warm up, and difficult/stubborn.
- 🔄 Difficult babies struggle with change and transition, representing about 10% of babies.
- 🍽 Parents should focus on adapting to a child's temperament rather than trying to change it, as change comes gradually.
- 🧠 Parenting should involve anticipating challenges and being sensitive to a child’s needs, particularly in difficult situations.
- 🤔 Parents should empathize with their child’s feelings, as it’s tough for children when they are upset.
- 💡 Adapting calmly and recognizing each child’s unique temperament is key, as what works for one child may not work for another.
Q & A
What are the common questions parents ask pediatricians about their babies?
-Parents often ask why their baby's behavior seems different from other babies and seek insights into their child's temperament.
What factors influence a baby's temperament from birth?
-A baby's temperament is influenced by multiple factors, some of which are inherited. These factors determine how the baby will manifest personal styles and behaviors as they grow.
At what age do babies begin to express emotions like joy, fear, and anger?
-Babies as young as two months can manifest joy, such as smiling, while babies at four months can express emotions like fear, anger, and sadness.
How do babies’ personal styles reflect their reactions to the world?
-A baby’s personal style is a reflection of how they interpret and react to their environment, including their responses to hunger, tiredness, and being uncomfortable.
What are the three types of temperaments in children?
-The three temperamental types in children are: easygoing, slower to warm up, and more difficult or stubborn. Each temperament has distinct behaviors in how the child reacts to change.
How common are the more difficult or challenging temperaments in children?
-Only 10% of children have more difficult or stubborn temperaments, while 35% of children exhibit a mixed or changing temperament.
When should parents be concerned about their child's temperament?
-Parents should be concerned when the child’s temperament becomes dysfunctional for the family, such as refusing to eat anything except home-cooked meals while at a restaurant.
What approach should parents take when dealing with challenging temperaments?
-Parents should aim to adapt to their child’s temperament rather than trying to change it. Change happens gradually, and it's important to be sensitive and nurturing while anticipating difficult situations.
Why is it important to empathize with a baby’s feelings when they are upset?
-Understanding that being upset is hard for the baby too helps parents approach situations with more empathy, patience, and nurturance, which fosters better emotional support for the child.
Why should parents avoid comparing their children to one another?
-Comparing children, such as asking one child to be more like another, can make the child more resistant to change and create more tension. Each child is unique, and their temperament should be handled with care.
Outlines
🍼 Understanding Baby Temperament and Parenting Challenges
The speaker introduces the common frustration parents face in dealing with a baby's temperament. Pediatricians frequently get questions about why babies behave differently, and the speaker discusses how a baby's temperament can manifest early in life. Factors such as temperament, personality traits, and how babies respond to their environment, like hunger or fatigue, are introduced. Parents are encouraged to be aware and sensitive to their baby's unique responses.
🤔 The Three Types of Babies: Easygoing, Slow to Warm, and Difficult
The discussion shifts to the types of personalities that babies develop, which have been studied for over 50 years. There are three main categories: easygoing, slower to warm up, and difficult or stubborn. The latter group represents only 10% of children, while 35% show a mix of characteristics. These traits often persist into adulthood. Parents should aim to understand and adapt to their child’s temperament, rather than attempting to change it directly.
🍽️ Dealing with Temperament in Everyday Life: Practical Examples
The speaker explains when a child's temperament may become a concern, using an example of a child refusing to eat at a restaurant. Parents should focus on adapting to these situations rather than forcing change. The speaker stresses that adaptation and patience are key, especially in environments where children resist new experiences. Practical parenting involves anticipating challenges and responding calmly.
📖 Resources for Parents to Support Temperament Management
Various resources like books and articles are mentioned that can help parents manage their child's temperament. The goal is to provide nurturing, understanding, and to be sensitive to the child's needs. The speaker emphasizes the importance of offering reassurance and understanding, even in challenging situations like food refusal.
👶 Empathy: Seeing the World Through Your Child’s Eyes
A personal anecdote is shared about how empathy helped the speaker's family understand their child’s temperament better. A pediatrician suggested imagining how hard it is for the child when they are upset, shifting the focus from frustration to empathy. The speaker stresses how this change in perspective helped them become more sensitive and nurturing.
😌 Every Child is Unique: Avoid Comparisons Between Siblings
The speaker talks about the importance of not comparing children to one another, as each child has a unique temperament. What works for one child may not work for another, and comparisons can lead to resistance and frustration. Parents should strive to be sensitive and adapt their approach to each individual child, without trying to impose change based on others' behavior.
🌱 Preparing for Change: Adapting to Your Child’s Needs
This section focuses on the importance of anticipating challenges and staying calm. Parents are encouraged to adapt to their child's personality traits, manage transitions carefully, and remain patient. By preparing for potential difficulties and mitigating stressful situations, parents can create a more harmonious environment for both themselves and their children.
😊 Wrapping Up: Parenting with Empathy and Patience
The speaker concludes by reinforcing the importance of nurturing and empathy. Using a light-hearted reference to the personalities of Snoopy and Charlie Brown, the conversation emphasizes the importance of accepting children as they are, adapting to their needs, and showing understanding even when things get tough.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Temperament
💡Personality
💡Inherited Traits
💡Easygoing Kids
💡Difficult Kids
💡Slower to Warm Up
💡Parenting Adaptation
💡Environmental Response
💡Empathy
💡Anticipation
Highlights
A baby's temperament can be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting, and many parents wonder why their baby behaves differently from others.
Babies, even at two months old, can show joy through smiling and, by four months, manifest emotions like fear, anger, and sadness.
A baby’s temperament is influenced by multiple factors, some of which are inherited and reflect their personal style.
Personal style in babies reflects how they interpret and react to their environment, such as being wet, hungry, or tired.
Parents should be sensitive to their baby's temperament and how it affects their reactions to the environment.
Pediatricians categorize babies into three groups: easygoing, slow to warm up, and more difficult or challenging.
Only 10% of babies are considered difficult, while 35% show a mix of characteristics.
Parents should start to worry about their child’s temperament when it becomes dysfunctional and affects family activities.
Parents should adapt to their child’s temperament rather than trying to change it, as change happens gradually.
A baby’s resistance to change, such as not eating new foods, is common, and parents should anticipate such challenges.
Parenting requires sensitivity, anticipation, and nurturance, adapting to the child’s personality.
Empathy is crucial for parents, especially when understanding that a fussy or needy baby may also be having a hard time.
Parents should avoid comparing their children, as it could make them more resistant or stubborn.
Adapting calmly and anticipating problems helps mitigate difficult situations in parenting.
Each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another, so parents should be sensitive to their different needs.
Transcripts
and this is interesting stuff now a
baby's temperament can be one of the
most frustrating parts of being a parent
right are you ever wondering why your
baby's behavior seems so different from
maybe that of other babies it's one of
the most frequently asked questions for
pediatricians so who better to ask
what's up with our kids then dr. Don
who's here with us Don's different oh
it's great to see you here with you it's
one of the most common questions you
probably get what does the baby's
temperament tell us about our kiss even
from the time they're born well from the
time they're born babies have multiple
factors some of them inherited as we
find out later yes they're just like
Aunt Mildred or Uncle Jim that can tell
us about how their personal style is
going to manifest itself babies as young
as two months can manifest joy as we
know and smile and babies for months can
manifest fear and anger and sadness and
their personal style reflects how they
interpret the world how they react to it
and how they respond to different things
in their environment including things
like being wet being hungry being tired
so that all parents should understand
and be aware of the abilities of their
youngsters to respond to the environment
and also be very sensitive to it as well
because the one thing I get asked a lot
by parents is you know how can we change
what happens when blank blanks are or
how can we change what happens when
parents are with other parents and
they're you know sisters perhaps or not
playing with the other notices they're
sitting on their laps
so these personality characteristics
which by the way were studied over 50
years ago and are still very accurate
today really produce three types of kids
the easygoing kids the kids that are a
little slower to warm up and then the
kids that are a little more difficult
and challenging are stubborn
well difficult challenging stubborn
have difficulty with change in
transition and again those youngsters
are a little more difficult there's only
10% of those youngsters and 35% of the
kids really manifest a mixed change so
when should we worry about our kids
temperament well when when it becomes
dysfunctional in terms of what the
family wants to do for instance if you
want to go to a new restaurant in your
Yost
isn't going to eat any of the food at
the restaurant they only want to eat the
food that's made at home and again the
goal that parents should have is being
able to adapt to this not to be able to
change it change will come gradually and
again we know some adults that are again
very resistant and recalcitrant to train
change but the goal of parents is to be
aware to anticipate those situations
where you're going to have to make some
changes and on occasion have to leave
those situations where we say I think
this is just a little too much for us
now there's lots of hints and links that
we're going to put on the website about
parents with certain books they can read
in certain articles they can have that
can help them with this but the goal for
parenting is to be aware anticipate and
be sensitive and nurturing providing
that nurturance the answers and saying
you know the food did touch but remember
it's going to be together again in your
tummy too well you know actually we had
a question about this with our
pediatrician recently and we said well
he just gets kind of fussy any needy and
you know what do you do you know me dr.
dad I always ask that but she said
imagine how he's feeling when he's
really upset that's really hard on him
too and that changed our perspective
like he said understanding and nurturing
so Kia
yeah the sensitivity that we can have
towards our youngsters shall we say
inherent personality characteristics and
we may arch our eyebrows and kind of
roll our eyes but again there are
youngsters we can't sell them we can't
give them away and having empathy -
especially if you have more than one kid
what works for one doesn't in a sense
necessarily work for another kid so
being sensitive to different kids at
different times
absolutely and saying you know why can't
you be more like your ex that never
works never work not exactly sensitive
and again it may make that youngster
more resistant and as you said a little
more stubborn to change so adapting and
being sensitive slow but easy being calm
always as we say and again there are
certain situations where you should
anticipate what's going to happen and
try to mitigate those circumstances for
the universe saying it's okay to be with
me for a while doctor dodged shiver boy
we love having yet thanks so much great
to be here love the snoopin tattoo today
that's well Snoopy had their
characteristics with Charlie Brown and
Lucy we all
recognize their personality carries a
real different
thanks duck week 753 will grow back
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