How to become confident as an introvert

Summary

In this motivational video, the speaker passionately addresses the misconception that confidence is a gift from the gods, asserting that it is earned through validation. He explains that validation can come from external sources or self-affirmation. The speaker then transitions into a sponsorship segment for a skincare regimen, emphasizing the importance of early care to prevent premature aging. Returning to the main topic, he advises viewers to build confidence by consistently achieving personal goals and avoiding negative habits. He concludes with a powerful quote about acting one's way into new thinking, encouraging viewers to adopt the actions of successful individuals to transform their mindset.

Takeaways

• 😤 Confidence isn't bestowed randomly; it's built through validation and self-belief.
• 🐾 Even in the animal kingdom, confidence is not innate but developed through social interactions.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 External validation from family and friends can significantly influence one's confidence.
• 🤔 Lack of external validation can be compensated by self-validation and self-encouragement.
• 🎥 The speaker has been partnering with te Hanley for over seven years, advocating for skincare regimens.
• 🧴 te Hanley offers a subscription-based skincare service with a starter kit including moisturizers, face wash, and scrub.
• 💆‍♂️ Skincare is essential to maintain youthfulness and prevent premature aging.
• 💪 True confidence comes from consistently accomplishing the tasks you set for yourself.
• 🚫 Abstaining from vices and distractions is crucial for building a confident and productive lifestyle.
• 🏃‍♂️ Only 2% of people have a sense of urgency to act on their tasks immediately, which is a trait of highly confident individuals.
• 🔄 To change, act first and let the new actions shape your mindset, not the other way around.

Q & A

What is the main message of the video script regarding confidence?

The main message is that confidence does not come randomly or naturally; it is built through validation, which can be either external or self-given. It emphasizes that confidence is developed by doing every single thing one tells themselves they will do, thus validating their own worth.

How does the speaker suggest one can validate themselves internally?

The speaker suggests that one can validate themselves internally by giving themselves affirmations and believing in their own abilities, and by taking action to achieve the goals they set for themselves.

What is the role of external validation in building confidence according to the script?

External validation plays a significant role in building confidence. It can come from parents, grandparents, friends, or siblings, and it involves receiving positive reinforcement and encouragement from others.

Why does the speaker mention te Hanley in the script?

The speaker mentions te Hanley because they are the sponsor of the video. The speaker discusses their experience with the brand and promotes their skincare products, offering a discount code for viewers.

What is the importance of skincare according to the video script?

The importance of skincare, as mentioned in the script, is to maintain one's appearance and prevent aging, which can have a psychological impact on self-confidence and self-image.

How does the speaker define a person with confidence?

The speaker defines a person with confidence as someone who not only sets goals but also follows through on them, leaving no task unfinished, and abstains from negative habits and distractions.

What percentage of people have a sense of urgency according to the script?

According to the script, only 2% of people have a sense of urgency, meaning they immediately take action on the things they know they need to get done.

What is the advice given for someone struggling with procrastination?

The advice given is to stop procrastinating and start taking immediate action on tasks. The speaker suggests listing tasks and committing to doing them without delay, which can help build confidence.

How does the speaker relate confidence to taking action?

The speaker relates confidence to taking action by stating that confidence comes from doing what one says they will do. By completing tasks and avoiding negative actions, one can validate themselves and build confidence.

What is the key takeaway from the quote by Jerry Sternin mentioned in the script?

The key takeaway from Jerry Sternin's quote is that it's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting. This means that adopting the actions and habits of a successful person can lead to internalizing their mindset more effectively than trying to change one's thinking first.

Outlines

00:00

💪 Building Confidence Through Action

The speaker expresses frustration with the misconception that confidence is innate. They argue that confidence is earned through validation, which can come from external sources or self-affirmation. The speaker uses the example of a man with average looks but high confidence, suggesting that his self-assurance stems from consistent positive reinforcement, possibly from family or friends. The speaker then transitions into a sponsorship segment for a skincare regimen, emphasizing the importance of taking care of one's appearance to maintain confidence as one ages. They offer a discount code for viewers to try the product. Returning to the topic of confidence, the speaker advises that self-validation comes from accomplishing the tasks one sets for oneself. They stress the importance of following through on commitments to build self-respect and confidence. The speaker concludes by stating that only 2% of people have a sense of urgency to act on their goals, and encourages viewers to be part of this proactive minority.

05:01

🚀 Becoming Action-Oriented for Personal Growth

In the second paragraph, the speaker emphasizes the importance of being accountable for one's actions and decisions. They suggest that setting a high bar for daily tasks leads to a greater sense of accomplishment and, consequently, confidence. The speaker argues that choosing to do more leads to feeling more fulfilled, while doing less leads to diminished self-worth. They encourage viewers to stop procrastinating and to start taking decisive action on their goals. The speaker shares a quote from Jerry Sternin, highlighting that it's easier to adopt the actions of successful individuals before internalizing their mindset. The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to subscribe and to embrace a new, more proactive version of themselves.

Keywords

💡confidence

Confidence refers to a feeling of self-assurance and belief in one's own abilities. In the video, the speaker refutes the idea that confidence is innate and instead argues that it is built through external validation or self-affirmation. The script uses the example of even animals needing validation from their peers, suggesting that confidence is a social construct that can be developed.

💡validation

Validation is the process of confirming the truth or value of something. In the context of the video, it is presented as a source of confidence, where individuals seek approval or acknowledgment from others to feel good about themselves. The speaker suggests that without external validation, one must provide it to oneself.

💡sponsorship

Sponsorship in the video refers to a commercial arrangement where a company (in this case, te Hanley) pays to have their products promoted within the content. The speaker discusses te Hanley's skincare products and how they have been a sponsor for his YouTube channel since its early days, highlighting the relationship between creator and sponsor.

💡self-care

Self-care is the practice of taking action to maintain one's health and well-being. The video emphasizes the importance of skincare as a form of self-care, suggesting that taking care of one's skin is an investment in one's future appearance and health.

💡subscription

A subscription model, as mentioned in the video, is a business approach where customers pay a periodic fee to receive ongoing goods or services. The speaker describes te Hanley's business model as subscription-based, where customers receive monthly deliveries of skincare products.

💡urgency

A sense of urgency is the feeling that something needs to be done immediately. The video script points out that only 2% of people possess a strong sense of urgency, which is used to illustrate the importance of taking immediate action towards one's goals to build confidence.

💡procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks. The video uses procrastination as an example of a negative habit that prevents individuals from accomplishing their goals and building confidence. It contrasts with taking immediate action.

💡accountability

Accountability is the state of being responsible for one's actions. The speaker talks about holding oneself accountable as a means to overcome procrastination and to ensure that one follows through on their commitments, which in turn builds confidence.

💡positive action

Positive action refers to activities that contribute to personal growth or improvement. The video encourages viewers to engage in positive actions, such as waking up early, exercising, and eating healthily, as a way to validate oneself and build confidence.

💡vices

Vices are habits or practices considered morally or socially harmful. In the script, the speaker advises abstaining from vices such as alcohol, pornography, and other distractions to focus on positive actions and build self-confidence.

💡positivity

Positivity refers to a optimistic or hopeful outlook. The video stresses the importance of surrounding oneself with positivity and eliminating negative influences to foster an environment conducive to building confidence and achieving goals.

Highlights

Confidence is not something that is randomly bestowed upon individuals; it must be earned.

Even in the animal kingdom, confidence is built through social interactions and validations.

Confidence can stem from various sources such as family, friends, or personal achievements.

External validation is crucial for building confidence, but self-validation is equally important.

The speaker has been working with te Hanley for seven years, emphasizing the importance of skincare.

Te Hanley offers a subscription-based skincare service with a beginner-friendly regimen.

The importance of starting a skincare regimen early to prevent aging is discussed.

The speaker shares a discount code for te Hanley, offering 40% off the first box and 20% off for life.

Confidence comes from completing every task you set for yourself.

It's rare for individuals to have a sense of urgency to complete their tasks immediately.

The speaker shares a statistic that only 2% of people have a sense of urgency.

To build confidence, one must avoid procrastination and complete all positive actions planned for the day.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of abstaining from vices to maintain a positive trajectory.

By doing more, you feel more accomplished and build confidence.

The speaker encourages viewers to hold themselves accountable for their actions.

A quote from Jerry Sternin is shared, emphasizing the importance of action over thought in creating change.

The speaker concludes by encouraging viewers to become a better version of themselves.

Transcripts

I'm sick and tired of these lies being

spread and I've had it they're just

contrary to popular belief confidence

doesn't just get blessed upon the random

individual from the gods above no it

doesn't happen like that no one just

randomly is born with confidence even in

the animal kingdom this is true even the

dogs out there they're they're going

around sniffing each other's butts

they're not sure of each other and then

they're like okay you're cool I'm I'm

comfortable around you you see

confidence comes from somewhere it has

to come from somewhere confidence comes

from validation even that one random guy

who has a [ __ ] physique his face sucks

and his style is trash who has

confidence and you're like why the hell

does that random guy have confidence it

comes from somewhere maybe he was an

only child and his parents were always

telling him oh you're the best you're

just the best little guy ever don't let

anybody tell you anything other than

that you know it comes from somewhere

grandparents friends brothers sisters

whatever so if you're not getting

external validation you have to give it

to yourself you simply have to find some

sort of validation now I know you're

asking me Brett how how how do I give

myself validation I'm just little old me

well I'm going to tell you how but first

and talk about the sponsor of today's

video over at te Hanley shout out to te

Hanley for sponsoring today's video I've

been working them for 7even years since

I first started YouTube back in 2017

2018 I I I actually talked about their

product in one of my videos my first

viral video before they offered to

sponsor anything and we've been working

working together ever since it's the

best beginner skincare regimen you'll

find how it works is it's a subscription

based skincare company you just go

online pick the level you want to start

with if you don't know where to start I

recommend just trying level one which

comes with a morning and evening

moisturizer a daily face wash and an

exfoliating scrub you sign up and then

it's delivered to your front door each

and every month without you even having

to move a muscle you got to be taking

care of your skin man cuz as time goes

on you know aging it happens to all of

us so you want to be prepared and put in

the investment the work when you're

young to help maintain that cuz if not

you're definitely going to regret it

later you're you're going to end up

looking like this guy when you could be

looking like this guy so take it for me

I'm 29 I'm starting to see my teenage

features fade away but there's other

guys out there who are my age that

didn't get on a regimen and they

straight up look like they're like 35 36

so you don't want to be like those guys

and you know how it works I got a deal

so that means you guys get a deal too

you can use my code Brett and get 40%

off your first box plus 20% off for life

and a free gift that's right a free G

gift it's Christmas all year round click

the link in the description check them

out and use my code now back to the

video now you're wondering how do I

validate myself that sounds so weird do

I just sit around telling myself how

great I am no it's not how but who

motherucker are you the type of person

that is worthy of confidence ask

yourself that look yourself in the

mirror and ask yourself that and with

few exceptions you all say no so how do

you be become the person that is worthy

of confidence and all of the spoils that

come from having Supreme confidence

success the women the network the [ __ ]

the things the cars the house all this

right who wants it we all want it let's

be real with ourselves well you become

this by doing every single thing that

you tell yourself that you're going to

do a man is nothing but a word so if you

don't do the things that you say you're

going to do how theing God's name could

anyone look at you and respect you and

have confidence in you as a man how

could you have confidence in yourself if

the few things on your to-do list you

can't even get half of them done it's

ridiculous confidence comes from filling

up your plate and eating all of it

leaving nothing left at the end of the

day this is the only way to validate

yourself externally how could you not

feel incredible confidence if you

crushed every single positive action

that you told yourself you were going to

do at the start and you deleted every

negative action holding you back so

positives you told yourself you'd get up

early you're going to get up at 5:00 you

did that [ __ ] you immediately jump into

something else positive maybe a little

bit of reading then you go to the gym

you pound the rock for an hour and a

half you're eating four healthy meals a

day you're working on your business

you're making calls you're answering

emails you're leaving nothing left at

the end of the day meanwhile you're

abstaining from all the [ __ ] vices

the alcohol the jerking off the weed the

porn distractions the people that suck

positive energy out of you you say no

I'm good I'm good on all that did you

know this was shocking to me I just

found out the other day that only 2%

yeah 2% of people have a sense of

urgency that's it two two out of every

hundred people look at the thing that

they know they need to get done and say

yes now let's go and they do it they do

it they [ __ ] do it they do it they do

it most people 99 out of 100 sit around

waffling procrastinating putting that

[ __ ] off I've been a part of that group

I'll be honest I'll admitted I kind of

waver in between sometimes not anymore

I'm not that guy anymore hold me

accountable I'll hold you accountable

we're done with that we get up we look

at what we have to do that day we say do

it now do it now do it now do it now

[ __ ] and we're not taking it

easy on ourselves we're not putting two

little things on the list to get done no

when you choose to do less you feel less

and when you choose to do more you feel

more it's not rocket science bro so let

this be the the last day that you're one

of those pandering waffling about

procrastinating little [ __ ] and

decide that no longer are you that man

you're the man who lines it up knocks

them all down you're that guy and if you

need to bookmark this save this set the

link to this as your wallpaper so that

you can remind yourself that you're not

that guy anymore you are now a better

version of yourself you have to

sacrifice who you were to become who you

want to be and I'll just leave you with

this last gem to top it all off this is

a quote from Jerry sternin the author of

the book The Power of Positive deviance

one of my favorite quotes it's easier to

act your way into a new way of thinking

than to think your way into a new way of

acting soak that in for a second what it

means is it's easier to just do the

Mechanicals do the habits of a person

that is better than yourself than to try

to adopt the thinking and the mindset of

a person that is better than yourselves

and then expect the habits and the

Mechanicals to follow no doesn't work

that way it's much much faster to just

do the work do the Mechanicals the

actions of a person that is far superior

and then become that mentally and

physically that's it hope you guys

enjoyed the video if you haven't already

subscribe and until next time peace