Shadow work: “do this for 30d, you will become unrecognizable”

Summary

Le script d'une vidéo captivante introduit le concept de l'« ombre » en tant qu'élément clé pour libérer le potentiel inexploité de chacun. En s'appuyant sur les théories de Carl Jung, il explique comment les archétypes tels que le masque social, l'anima ou animus, et l'ombre influencent notre vie. Le narrateur encourage à embrasser et à intégrer pleinement cette partie cachée de soi-même pour atteindre un niveau de succès et de réalisation personnelle inégalé. Il propose un exercice pratique pour explorer et comprendre son ombre intérieure, afin de la libérer et de la transformer en une source de puissance.

Takeaways

• 😌 L'auteur introduit le concept de "l'ombre" comme une partie importante de soi-même qui contient des potentiels non exploités.
• 🎭 La "persona" est présentée comme le masque que l'on montre au monde, tandis que l'"anima" ou "animus" représente les énergies masculines et féminines qui influencent notre créativité et nos émotions.
• 🔍 Carl Jung a identifié quatre archétypes clés qui gouvernent la vie des êtres humains, dont le "shadow" est un aspect souvent ignoré mais crucial.
• 🌟 La véritable puissance ne vient pas seulement du "héros", mais de la compréhension et de l'acceptation de toutes les parties de soi, y compris l'ombre.
• 🧠 L'inconscient est divisé en trois parties : l'inconscient personnel, l'inconscient collectif et le conscient, qui représentent respectivement 90%, 9% et 1% de notre esprit.
• 🤔 L'inconscient personnel reflète souvent les aspects que nous n'avons pas intégrés dans notre conscience, ce qui peut créer un déséquilibre.
• 🚫 La suppression de l'ombre peut mener à une explosion émotionnelle et à une perte de contrôle, ce qu'il est important d'éviter.
• 🔄 L'individuation, selon Jung, est le but ultime de la vie, qui implique d'atteindre une harmonie avec toutes les parties de soi-même.
• 🔑 L'identité est un concept clé pour comprendre le changement personnel, où être conduit à faire, qui à son tour mène à avoir.
• 💪 L'auteur partage son expérience personnelle de transformation en acceptant et en exprimant son identité véritable, ce qui a entraîné un succès et une satisfaction personnels significatifs.

Q & A

Qu'est-ce que le concept de 'l'ombre' en psychologie selon Carl Jung?

Selon Carl Jung, l'ombre est la partie de nous-mêmes qui contient tous nos désirs, peurs et potentiels non exploités, souvent cachés et ignorés.

Quels sont les quatre archétypes principaux découverts par Carl Jung qui gouvernent notre vie?

Les quatre archétypes principaux sont le persona (le masque social), l'anima ou animus (les énergies masculines et féminines), le héros (qui lutter contre les défis de la vie) et l'ombre (les aspects cachés de notre personnalité).

Pourquoi est-il important d'intégrer notre 'ombre' plutôt que de la rejeter?

Intégrer notre ombre permet d'accéder à notre plein potentiel et de parvenir à une harmonie totale avec chaque partie de nous-mêmes, ce qui est essentiel pour la réussite et la satisfaction dans la vie.

Quelle est la différence entre l'esprit conscient et l'inconscient?

L'esprit conscient est ce dont nous sommes pleinement conscients et que nous utilisons quotidiennement, tandis que l'inconscient est composé de ce que nous ne sommes pas conscients, mais qui influence néanmoins nos actions et nos rêves.

Comment l'auteur a-t-il transformé sa vie en acceptant son 'ombre'?

L'auteur a commencé à accepter ses aspects cachés et ses désirs, en devenant vulnérable et authentique, ce qui a conduit à une amélioration de sa relation, une augmentation de sa réussite professionnelle et une vie plus riche et plus satisfaisante.

Quels sont les effets négatifs de la suppression de notre 'ombre' selon le script?

La suppression de notre ombre peut mener à des problèmes de santé psychosomatique, de la fatigue, de l'anxiété et à une incapacité à atteindre pleinement notre potentiel.

Quelle est la première étape recommandée pour libérer son 'ombre'?

La première étape est d'arrêter la suppression et la jugement de soi, en permettant de s'exprimer librement et d'accepter ses pensées et sentiments sans les modifier.

Pourquoi est-il important d'être vulnérable et authentique dans nos relations?

Être vulnérable et authentique crée un espace sûr dans les relations, améliore la communication et la profondeur des liens, et nous aide à surmonter les obstacles et les défis de la vie.

Quelle est la différence entre la honte et la culpabilité selon le script?

La honte est un sentiment lié à notre identité, où nous nous identifions à un comportement négatif en disant 'je suis', tandis que la culpabilité est liée à un comportement spécifique, en disant 'j'ai fait' quelque chose de mauvais.

Comment le document 'ombre' peut-il aider à comprendre et à intégrer son 'ombre'?

En créant un document 'ombre' où l'on note les caractéristiques, attitudes et comportements de son ombre, on devient conscient de ces aspects cachés et peut les observer et les intégrer de manière plus saine.

Outlines

00:00

🔮 Découvrir l'importance du soi ombrage

Le premier paragraphe introduit le concept de la psychologie profonde, en se concentrant sur l'idée que les luttes et les potentiels non atteints peuvent être liés à l'incapacité de comprendre et d'intégrer le soi ombrage, la partie cachée de notre personnalité qui contient nos peurs, désirs et potentiel non exploité. L'auteur mentionne Carl Jung et ses quatre archétypes humains : le persona (le masque social), l'anima/animus (énergies masculines et féminines), le héros (qui lutter contre les défis) et l'ombre (le soi ombrage). Il souligne que la véritable puissance provient de l'acceptation et de l'intégration de toutes les parties de soi-même, en particulier l'ombre.

05:01

🚀 Reconnaissance de l'identité et du chemin vers l'authenticité

Dans ce paragraphe, l'auteur discute de l'importance de l'identité et de la manière dont la société a façonné nos aspirations et nos chemins de vie traditionnels. Il partage son propre parcours, qui l'a amené à quitter la voie conventionnelle pour créer son propre chemin, ce qui a entraîné un succès et une vie au-delà de ses rêves. Il met en évidence le fait que pour réaliser nos objectifs, nous devons être qui nous sommes vraiment destinés à être, plutôt que de nous forcer à être quelqu'un d'autre ou à suivre les attentes sociales.

10:01

🌱 Arrêter la suppression pour libérer le soi ombrage

Le troisième paragraphe traite de la libération du soi ombrage en arrêtant la suppression de nos pensées et de nos sentiments. L'auteur encourage à exprimer sa vérité et à être authentique, même si cela peut être inconfortable ou choquer les autres. Il explique que la suppression mène à la répression et à des conséquences non désirées dans la vie, tandis que l'acceptation et l'expression de notre ombre nous aident à vivre de manière plus énergétiquement efficiente et authentique.

15:03

💔 Comprendre la vulnérabilité et l'importance de l'authenticité

Dans ce paragraphe, l'auteur aborde la vulnérabilité comme clé pour changer la vie et pour créer des relations plus profondes et authentiques. Il partage son expérience personnelle de la difficulté à être vulnérable, en raison de son histoire de霸凌 et de la pression de se conformer à une image de force virile. Il explique comment la vulnérabilité a amélioré sa relation avec sa femme et sa vie en général, et comment la confusion entre honte et culpabilité peut entraver notre chemin vers la vulnérabilité.

20:06

🔍 Identifier et intégrer le soi ombrage pour la réalisation personnelle

Le cinquième paragraphe propose un exercice pour aider à identifier et à intégrer le soi ombrage. L'auteur conseille de créer un document 'ombre' où l'on note les caractéristiques, attitudes et comportements de notre ombre. Il souligne l'importance de devenir conscient de ces aspects cachés de notre personnalité et de les accepter sans les juger, afin de parvenir à un état d'équilibre et d'individuation.

25:09

🛡️ Utiliser le soi ombrage pour surmonter l'anxiété et atteindre l'équilibre

Le dernier paragraphe met en évidence comment l'auteur a utilisé sa compréhension de son soi ombrage pour gérer l'anxiété et atteindre un état d'équilibre dans sa vie. Il discute de la manière dont le soi ombrage peut être un outil puissant pour faire face aux défis et pour prendre des décisions audacieuses, plutôt que de rester dans un état de défense ou d'anxiété. Il encourage les gens à observer et à comprendre leur ombre pour vivre une vie plus authentique et moins stressante.

Keywords

💡ombre

L'ombre dans le contexte de la vidéo fait référence à la partie cachée de la personnalité qui contient les peurs, les désirs et le potentiel non exploité. C'est une notion clé de la psychologie analytique de Carl Jung. Dans la vidéo, l'ombre est présentée comme le point clé pour débloquer le véritable potentiel de quelqu'un, plutôt que de simplement être ignorée ou rejetée.

💡archétypes

Les archétypes sont des modèles fondamentaux de comportements et de pensées qui existent dans l'inconscient collectif, selon Jung. La vidéo mentionne quatre archétypes principaux : le persona (le masque social), l'anima/animus (les énergies masculines et féminines), l'ombre (la partie cachée de soi-même) et le héros (le côté qui surmonte les défis). Ces archétypes gouvernent grandement la vie des individus.

💡individuation

L'individuation est le but de la psychologie jungienne, qui consiste à atteindre une harmonie absolue avec chaque partie de soi-même. La vidéo souligne l'importance de l'individuation en expliquant que le vrai pouvoir ne vient pas seulement du héros, mais de la compréhension et de l'acceptation de toutes les parties de soi, en particulier l'ombre.

💡conscience

La conscience est mentionnée comme la partie de l'esprit de laquelle nous sommes pleinement conscients, représentant seulement 5% de notre être. La vidéo explique que pour comprendre le travail sur l'ombre, il est essentiel de comprendre les différents aspects de l'esprit, y compris la conscience, le subconscious et l'inconscient personnel et collectif.

💡inconscient

L'inconscient personnel et collectif est une grande partie de notre psyché qui est influencée par la société et les personnes autour de nous. Dans la vidéo, il est expliqué que l'inconscient reflète souvent les déficits de notre conscience, par exemple, en rêvant de la supériorité si nous nous sentons inférieurs.

💡identité

L'identité est un concept clé dans la vidéo. Il est question de changer d'identité, de devenir la version de soi que l'on était vraiment destiné à être. Cela est lié à l'idée que la plupart des gens luttent pour atteindre leurs objectifs parce qu'ils essaient d'atteindre les objectifs qui ne leur sont pas destinés.

💡vulnerabilité

La vulnérabilité est présentée comme un des mots clés qui a complètement changé la vie de l'orateur cette année. Il est question de la puissance de la vulnérabilité et des conséquences négatives de ne pas être authentique et vulnérable, ce qui peut mener à des problèmes de communication et de stress dans les relations.

💡authenticité

L'authenticité est abordée comme un élément crucial pour vivre pleinement et sans appréhension. La vidéo explique comment l'orateur a appris à être authentique et vulnérable, ce qui a amélioré sa relation et sa vie professionnelle, en contraste avec le comportement de plier sous la pression pour être quelqu'un d'autre.

💡défense et offense

Dans le contexte de la vidéo, la défense et l'offense sont utilisés pour décrire comment l'on gère les situations de stress ou les défis. L'orateur suggère de passer de la défense (se protéger, être anxieux) à l'offense (aller de l'avant, exprimer pleinement l'ombre) pour surmonter l'anxiété et atteindre un état d'équilibre.

💡expression

L'expression est un thème récurrent dans la vidéo, où l'orateur encourage les spectateurs à exprimer pleinement leur ombre et à ne pas la supprimer. Il est question de l'importance de ne pas juger soi-même et de permettre aux pensées et aux sentiments négatifs d'exister sans les accabler, afin de parvenir à une authenticité totale.

Highlights

Introduction to the concept of the 'shadow self' and its potential to revolutionize one's life.

Explanation of Carl Jung's four archetypes: persona, anima/animus, shadow, and hero.

The shadow self as a repository for hidden fears, desires, and untapped potential.

The importance of embracing the shadow self for true personal power.

The role of the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious minds in personal development.

How the personal unconscious reflects deficits in our conscious mind.

The concept of identity shifting and its impact on achieving goals.

The societal narrative versus individual destiny and its effect on personal fulfillment.

The transformative power of owning one's true identity and its effect on success.

Overcoming the fear of being one's true self and the benefits it brings.

The process of individuation and achieving harmony with all aspects of the self.

The significance of vulnerability in personal growth and relationship building.

Understanding the difference between shame and guilt and its impact on behavior.

The exercise for discovering and integrating the shadow self into one's consciousness.

The importance of observing and accepting one's shadow traits without judgment.

How to use the shadow self to move from a state of defense to offense in life's challenges.

The invitation to join the Reality Creator Academy for deeper learning on these topics.

Final thoughts on the necessity of fully committing to one's true self for ultimate success and fulfillment.

Transcripts

Until you make the unconscious conscious.

If I want to read your life and you will call it fate.

Call you.

Today I'm going to introduce you to a concept

that's going to completely revolutionize your life.

Not just in theory, but in practice.

Not just in theory, but in practice.

Now imagine for a moment that the struggles that you're facing

right now, the patterns that you can't seem to break and the potential

that you feel is just out of reached or come down to one thing.

Learning how to unleash your shadow self.

See Carl Jung discovered

that human beings have four main archetypes that govern their lives.

First, there's the persona, which is the mask.

You show the world the version of you that fits in plays by the rules.

And then there's the anima or animus, the feminine

and masculine energies within you, driving your creativity, your emotions,

and how you connect with others on a soul deep level.

What if I told you that behind that mask is something far more powerful,

something you've been avoiding your whole life?

the shadow.

The part of you that holds all your hidden

fears, desires, and untapped potential.

This isn't just a dark side that you've been told to ignore.

It's the key to everything that you've ever been searching for.

Now we also have a hero within us.

Striving to conquer life's challenges, to rise above and go beyond.

But here's what no one ever tells you.

True power doesn't come from just the hero alone.

It comes from understanding and embracing every single part of yourself,

especially the shadow.

This is where your true potential lies, waiting to be unleashed.

In today's video, I'm going to show you how to tap into your shadow side

not just to understand it, but to actually integrated into your life

in a way that will change everything for you.

This isn't just another shiny personal development tactic

or a clickbaity personal development video.

This is the missing piece that, once correctly implemented one, unlock

a whole new level of success that was once out of reach for you.

Let's get started.

So in order to understand shadow work and how it actually works,

we have to understand

the different aspects of mind that we all have the most surface level.

We have the conscious mind, your conscious faculties daily.

5% of it is our whole being.

Next we have the subconscious mind.

Slightly below this, the conscious mind.

That's another 5%.

You're aware of it, but you're not aware of it.

The remaining is the personal unconscious.

The remaining 90% is the personal

and the collective unconscious, which has largely been shaped by society.

People around us, we have collectively contributed to it.

the unconscious mind, the personal unconscious

is very important to understand

because it typically reflects any deficits we have with our conscious.

So, for example, if you're someone who feels inferior,

what you'll start to notice is you will have dreams of superiority,

where you start to have, congregations with very,

very high people in their fields,

like you might have dinner with Einstein and a meeting with Napoleon Bonaparte

or, you know, other celebrities that that you can think of.

And that happens because your unconscious is trying to tell.

It's just basically trying to balance you out.

Okay.

So what most people do

is the very, very unaware of what what's happening with the unconscious.

And so they can't truly follow their intuition.

And this is where the shadow side comes in, because we keep suppressing

that shadow side within our unconscious until one day it just explodes

and we just lose all control of ourselves.

And that's something I would like to not happen for you.

And part of Carl Jung's work is about the goal.

The goal is individuation, which is reaching absolute harmony,

which with each and every single part of ourselves.

But the hero, the animus anima, the shadow, the conscious, the ego.

Okay, so the shadow plays a very, very important role in this.

And for most people, they have a gross misunderstanding of the shadow or what?

What the shadow is, because we've been told to embody

a certain part of ourselves.

So the very first thing we have to understand is the concept of identity

shifting, which I've taught my over a thousand clients how to do, how to shift

into the version of yourself you were truly meant to be.

Okay, so when most people think about something

like identity shifting, they think they must be someone else.

They must become someone else to experience what they want and where.

This concept of identity shifting comes in is the being which leads to doing.

Which finally leads to having.

When we be who we were meant to be,

we do what we were meant to do, and we have what we were meant to have.

So for a lot of people, they struggle to achieve their goals

because the goals that they're trying to achieve weren't meant for them.

I want you to really think about this, the reason why you feel

like it's such a battle to achieve your goals.

And this took me a very long time to understand, by the way,

I was always battling against an invisible force,

and why this happened was because I was trying to achieve someone else's goal.

So for most people, they are taught to go to school, get a great degree,

find a safe job, stand that job for the next 40 years of your life,

and then you will retire and get to live your life.

That's the narrative I was told.

And that was what was stored

in my collective unconscious because of societal expectations

for 99% of people, that is not the right path.

For 99% of people, going that traditional 9 to 5 route is not the right path

for 1% sure, for certain individual, that is the perfect path.

That is their dream.

That is amazing, wonderful.

But for most people it's not.

But most people are afraid to own who they were really meant to be.

And there's a great quote from a book I read, called relentless by, Tim Grover.

And Tim Grover says.

In order to have what you really want, you must first be who you really are.

For me, once I realized this, I had the life

that was beyond my wildest dreams.

So to recap my story back in 2019, I was supposed to go

that traditional 9 to 5 route and be miserable,

but I took a leap and started this business

where I started making YouTube videos,

sharing what I wanted to share, and people started to reach out to me for coaching.

And I was very, very afraid to do that because who was I, some 20 year

old kid, making these videos online, and I didn't even want to make videos.

You know, I was like, very timid and shy.

and, you know, I was like, who?

What gives me the right to make these videos?

So it was very, very uncomfortable for me to take let's do this right,

because I wasn't initially qualified or I didn't feel qualified to do this.

What I didn't know was the engineering degree that I got in college.

And to pursue an engineering job, that's what I felt qualified to do.

But this felt like the right thing for me to do because this was

who I really was sharing my message.

You know, having a public persona and and speaking, that's who I really was.

But I just didn't feel comfortable owning it because this isn't

who I was accustomed to being.

I was accustomed to being someone society told me to be.

Be safe, protect yourself.

Don't take risks.

Conserve the little money that you have in your bank account.

Just hold on to it.

You know, just just be afraid.

Be deathly afraid. Anything can happen.

Oh, you're going to you know, society's going through this economically.

Times a bad protect, protect, protect, don't take risks.

And so I had to change I had to identity shift

to being and becoming who I was meant to be.

Do you understand the difference?

Most of you, when you study personal development, what you think is,

oh, I am a lazy piece of shit and I need to be someone different.

Oh, I'm not confident and something about me is damaged,

I am damaged, I need to be someone different.

No you don't.

You actually, the only different person you need to be

is who you were meant to be.

Okay, that's the only difference.

You've got to become who you are meant to be, to have what you truly, truly want.

So when I gave myself permission to own who I was, being an own

my deficiencies, shortcomings and be vulnerable and authentic to them,

I guess what happened within four years of starting that business?

Not only did I make over a million every single year,

I also found the partner of my dreams, got married to have a baby now.

And now we're living in beautiful, sunny South Florida.

We have two houses like my life right now.

I couldn't have imagined this.

I thought I'd be in a job at this age and, you know, trying to save up

for my first house or something, trying to secure a mortgage or something.

But now I have more money than I know what to do with.

And I'm not saying this to brag.

I'm just saying this is truly what's possible

when you allow yourself to become who you are meant to be.

Like the goal that I set for myself when I started on this journey

was just barely making 20 K a month, and I've way surpassed that.

And anything that I ever imagined was capable, I was capable of.

Why is this possible?

It's only possible when you truly own who you are meant to be.

I know I'm saying this a lot of times, but I cannot say this enough.

I can't say this enough because most people will hear this.

It'll go in through one ear and out the other, right?

They'll never truly like, internalize this.

They'll never truly give themselves permission to be who they were meant to

be. You have to give yourself permission to be who you are meant to be.

So at first,

when you're being who you are meant to be, this is where people, actually get lost.

Because at first it feels fake.

At first it will feel fake.

It will feel unnatural for you

to be who you are meant to be, but it will feel like the right thing to do.

It will feel uncomfortable, but it will feel like the right thing to do.

That's how you know you're on the right path.

The other way that you know that you're on the right path is

if you feel less drained at the end of the day, because

for most people, they get this thing called persona fatigue, okay?

They get persona fatigue.

Why does this happen?

Well, this happens simply due to the mere fact that you are trying to be

someone you're not.

You're trying to embody someone you weren't meant to be.

Your shadow side is suppressed.

It's not finding expression.

And by the third part of this video, I'm going to share with you

how to unleash the shadow side, which is going to completely

change everything for you.

How you experience life is going to be completely different.

You're going to experience a level of freedom

you've never experienced, but for now, just understand that when you embody

who you're truly meant to be, it expands the least amount of energy.

When you become who you are meant to be, it's actually the most effortless

to be in that state of being.

If you feel like you are drained around your dad, your mom, or your friends,

whatever it is, it's because you're trying to be someone you're not.

You're trying to put on a facade.

You're trying to put on a face.

You're trying to keep up with the Joneses.

And that's exactly why you're not experiencing what you want.

It's as simple as that.

So the key I want you to take away from this is the very first step

to unleashing your shadow self, to shifting into the version of you

you were meant to be is to stop suppression.

What I mean by that, when you have opinions and things

that you think and feel and believe, allow yourself to express them.

If you what you think is true will hurt people's feelings.

Don't be afraid to live your truth.

Don't be afraid to express your truth just because.

And I'm not saying like you just publicly go out and do it.

But for example, if you've been someone who's a people pleaser your whole life

and you've been you've been a yes man, but you know that saying

what you truly feel is authentic, it's real to you.

You got to say it because guess what?

The other person might not like it, but they will respect you.

They will respect you a lot more than if you had just lied again and just tried to.

People, please. And you just became a yes man again.

So sometimes when you feel like, hey, this option actually isn't right for me,

go ahead and say it.

Go ahead and express your opinion and don't judge yourself for it,

because the more you keep things suppressed, guess what happens?

It gets repressed and it goes into your unconscious.

Then it starts to act out in ways in which you wouldn't like.

In psycho somatic ailments.

through this psychological pressure that develops, and it's

just going to create unintended consequences in your life.

Okay? And that's something we don't want.

So the very first step is to stop suppression and to stop the judgment.

Any form of self judgment.

Allow yourself to be who you really are.

If you have a negative thought, a lot of people, when they get started

in this personal development journey, they're afraid of their own thoughts.

How absurd is that?

You're afraid of this negative thought that came up.

You don't have to feed it. It's just a thought.

You can simply observe it and let it be you let that thought exist

as it is without trying to change it.

Don't try to focus on positives and try to get rid of it.

Allow yourself to have negative thoughts.

Allow yourself to have negative feelings.

You are allowed to think, feel and be this way temporarily.

It's not.

You don't have to bother with it because that's not who you chose to be, okay?

And that's the crucial part of you becoming who you are meant to be

is accepting without trying to change anything.

Just be as you are and drop that armor,

which very, very nicely leads to the second part

of this process of unleashing your, true self

learning to become vulnerable and learning to become authentic.

Let's get to that right now. vulnerability.

This is one of the most important words that completely changed my life this year.

And the reason why that is, is because I realized that even though I was saying

that I'm being authentic and I'm being vulnerable, I actually wasn't.

And what happened was back when I was around 13 years old,

I lived in the UK and I got bullied as a kid,

and I got bullied because I was freely expressing my opinion.

And, I was kind of just, you know, if people were being idiots,

I was just straight up calling them idiots without a lack of social awareness.

And so, you know, they started bullying me.

And so then over time, I morphed into this version

that was kind of a people pleaser who who just fit in.

I just became who people wanted to.

Wanted me to be. Okay.

I became the charming kind of version that I had to be to,

have women like me and men want to be like me.

That's what I strive to be my whole life.

So that I could fit in and and be part of of the masses.

That's that's literally it. I just wanted to shine.

And so because of that, what I realized was

I always had a tough time developing deep friendships,

but I always had a desire to form deep friendships.

But the reason I couldn't was because I always kept everyone at arm's length.

And here's why.

Here's the fucked up reason why.

It's because I had a tough time letting people into my circle,

because I was afraid

they would find out who I truly am, and then and then see that I'm a fraud.

Right?

And if they found out that I was a fraud, then people would reject me

and I would go back to that old way that I was when I got bullied.

And that actually had trickle down effects into my relationship.

I had a tough time letting my wife in and being vulnerable with her,

because I had to give off this image of being a strong, masculine man

so that I could be the leader of this, in this, in this relationship,

instead of allowing myself to be vulnerable in moments of weakness.

And by the way, one of the greatest sources of shame.

I learned this from Brené Brown from a book called The Power of Vulnerability.

If you read it, I highly recommend that you do.

for men, the greatest source of shame is weakness.

for women, the greatest source of shame is their appearance.

Right? Like, not looking good for women.

They have to be superwoman, you know, get everything done and look,

smoking hot while doing it, right, which is unrealistic.

and for men, the one thing they can't do is be a weak man.

Don't be a weak man.

You got to man up, you know, and sack up.

Right. There's always that saying.

But because I had that ingrained within me in my unconscious,

I had to be a strong man.

Otherwise, I would let my family down, you know, let my wife down.

Let my kid down and everyone down.

And then when I realized the power of vulnerability and

the negative consequences, it had, of me keeping my wife at arm's length,

we would constantly have fights, especially after having a kid.

This came to like, we would constantly have fights.

There was always a communication issue.

and by the way, in relationships, as you know, man.

Woman.

Like, if a man is feeling a certain way, the woman can tell because

she's more intuitive.

but going even deeper into that, if a woman can't

sense what the man is feeling because they're not being authentic,

they're not being vulnerable.

They don't feel safe in the relationship, okay?

They feel uncertain, and they feel stressed out.

So when you become vulnerable, you actually create a safe space

for both people in the relationship. Okay.

So when I started doing that, our relationship

actually became a lot more fulfilling.

and I started to notice that I stopped being stressed.

My wife became a great source of power to me.

Okay.

And so the quality of my life drastically changed.

not just to mention, like every single other

area of my life, my business started doing better.

You know, my, I actually became a millionaire after I met my wife.

Fun fact, I was broke before my wife and I met.

And, you know, she was like, she wasn't even my girl.

Like, I just didn't have a girlfriend. And she became my girlfriend.

I started my business in 2019 when we were together,

and then with her, I saw this business, you know, go to over a million a year.

And so this kind of like gave me epiphanies, like, hey,

she balances me somehow.

But I never really utilized this until my, my coach told me, like, hey,

your wife is actually a great source of power, but you're not utilizing it.

You have this, like, great,

immense source of power that you're just not utilizing because you're afraid.

You're afraid to let your guard down on your arm.

And, because you have to you believe that you have to be this strong man.

And, it's actually being a hamper.

It's it's blocking you from getting to that next level in your evolution.

So for me, learning about vulnerability was it was a great lesson.

But what we don't understand is how to become vulnerable

because we mistake two main things shame and guilt.

So what happens is when we do something bad

for most people who are in shame, they say, oh fuck, I fucked up again.

I'm a bad person.

So Brené Brown, in her book Power of Vulnerability,

gives this example of, a woman.

Gets drunk Thursday night.

Friday morning. She has a big meeting.

She goes in hungover. She's late.

Kline meeting missed in the first situation.

She says, I'm such a fuckup. I'm a piece of shit.

That's shame.

And the second situation she says, oh, I missed this client meeting.

I can't believe I did this.

I can't believe I could do something so stupid.

It's tied to her behavior.

I did something stupid.

Not I am stupid, I did something stupid is guilt.

I am stupid is shame.

Shame is something that brings us to the lowest of all.

So if you look at this level of consciousness, you'll see that

shame is much lower than guilt.

I believe, you know, I might I might be incorrect,

but from what I understand, shame is way lower than guilt.

And in shame we actually lead to a lot of negative repercussions.

Like shame is apparently directly correlated to addiction.

When people are in shame, it leads to a lot more cases of addiction.

Whereas in guilt you have power to transmute up to the higher levels.

In shame you are stuck.

When you feel shame and you are self inflicting blame,

you are identifying as the kind of person who does this.

Guess what?

In this being doing, having.

If we go back to this.

You're basically saying I am stupid.

So if you identified as someone who's stupid,

you're going to do stupid things and you're going to have stupid outcomes,

but then if you just stop it right here and you say, you know what?

I'm not stupid.

I made a mistake.

I did something stupid.

So your identity, you cut it off right here, right?

It doesn't. You don't identify with it any longer.

So in order for us to become more and more vulnerable,

we have to learn to dis identify from the labels that we've created.

Because once you identify with the label that you've created,

you immediately take on those characteristics.

You immediately become that kind of person.

Okay, so the goal isn't to just

dis identify, it's to create conscious identification.

If you consciously identify with someone who is I am stupid.

Well, no one consciously chooses to identify with that, right?

It happens unconsciously.

You keep telling yourself

the story, whereas most of the time we unconsciously identify with this.

So if I want to create the version of me that I want to become, I have to know

what I'm choosing to identify with and choosing to dis identify with.

Okay, so when I choose to identify with who I was meant to be, the quasi,

the authentic quasi that I was meant to be and this identify with, I'm stupid.

I'm an idiot.

That's when you start to live a life where you can truly have what you want.

So the goal is to create conscious identification.

And so when we get to this third part, learning

to unleash your shadow self, this is why it's going to change the game for you.

So let's get to that right now.

But before I get to that real quick, I want to announce

that our Reality Creator Academy, a lot of you have been asking about enrollment.

but we typically close it. We launch it once every three months.

But temporary.

Lee, I have opened up the gates to it so you can just go to Reality

Creator economy, aka to find out the details of the academy.

There's a video in there that explains everything.

If it resonates with you, you want to be part of this, community.

To learn more about everything that I talk about on my channel,

you can just go to this link.

And I would love to see you in the community.

Well, just going to leave it open for a limited time until this, video is.

So I will see you in there.

And, let's get right to part three, the most important part.

Learning to unleash your shadow self.

so now we get to the fun part.

Something that's going to change your life forever.

An exercise that's going to change everything for you.

Unleashing your shadow self.

So the exercise is to create the shadow side,

or rather to discover the shadow side of you and to bring it to light.

Because remember our goal is individuation.

Getting to a point where we feel stable, whole.

I like to tell my clients, you become a walking sigh of relief.

You're not holding onto pains all the time.

You're not trying to suppress and hide, and you know, not be seen by the world.

But you stand naked and you are as you are,

and you're comfortable being as you are.

You have nothing to hide, okay?

You just are.

You're not afraid of being seen anymore.

So in order to do this, all you have to do is get your notes section,

because this is going to be an exercise that you're going to develop

something that's going to develop over the next two weeks.

So get, your phone, get the notes

section and create, you may want a password protected or not,

depending on who goes to your phone, but create a shadow document.

Okay? Shadow character, whatever it is you want a title.

And what you want to do is create a list of characteristics,

attitudes and actions behaviors.

And we want to list five for each.

So what kind of characteristics does your shadow self have?

You want to observe it.

And when you observe it, how you will know that this is your shadow self is because

you're scared. You're kind of scared of this version.

You know, you're kind of scared of how in a way it might seem evil.

It might seem like, oh my God, this is devious.

I've never seen this part of myself or I have, and I've always hidden it.

I've always hid it under the surface.

I never wanted people to see this part of myself.

What is the part of you that you don't want people to see?

Don't be ashamed of it.

That's the nasty, evil part

that you have to bring to the surface and become aware of.

You don't have to show people right now, but you have to become aware of it, okay?

We want to bring it to awareness.

So you're going to list a few characteristics this shadow has

and a few attitudes the shadow has.

So if you are naturally a critical judgmental person

and you like to compare everyone to everyone, don't be afraid of that.

That is the attitude that it has.

What kind of behaviors does it do?

What kind of behaviors or actions do you take that you feel ashamed of?

Bring those to light right now, and chances are, if you bring those to light,

guess what?

Shame can never thrive in a place of empathy.

If you feel ashamed about something, the only way you can thrive is in silence

is in suppression.

But if you bring it to light, to the light of empathy and awareness,

it can no longer thrive.

So this is why this exercise we're doing is so important and so powerful.

Okay.

So go ahead and create this document and list as much as you can right now.

And chances are you're going to discover more and more.

Because now you've made the intention to discover the shadow self more.

It's going to pop up.

You're going to start having different dreams.

You're going to start noticing different things in your environment.

It is just going to happen.

If you have to revisit this video, do so.

Okay, now for me, my shadow self has a very competitive drive,

and what I notice is when I try to suppress that competitive drive

or when I get too consumed in it, I actually become a little bit depressed.

Okay, I kind of want to quit everything and leave.

And, you know, I just I just lose all love for life and for me.

I look at everything as a game.

And when I become this kind of shadow self, you know what?

I get so identified either too obsessed with it or too suppressed,

which are both an issue.

I notice that it leads to my self-destruction.

So because I'm so competitive, I like to compare myself with others.

You know, for example, I would feel insecure,

if I saw someone who's brand new on YouTube doing better than me

or someone who is a student of mine making more money than me in the past,

it would hurt me a lot that would like be a direct hit to my ego.

And that's because it's this shadow self that views

this as a game and looks at the numbers, the metrics as a scorecard.

But on the other hand, when I do get competitive,

but I lose that competition and I'm like,

what's the point of doing what I'm doing anymore? I'm not growing.

Nothing is moving forward.

I don't see I don't have a metric for progress.

And when that happens, I also get depressed.

I'm like, this isn't competitive enough anymore.

This isn't fun anymore.

I'm not playing a fun game anymore.

So for me, when I suppress this competitive drive,

it leads to suppression of this shadow self and the obsession with it.

Also the shadow self.

overtakes a little too much.

And the other selves, the other parts of me, the higher self,

the ego, the, the, the feminine part of me, the animus,

and also or the anima, it also gets suppressed.

So the important part is we have a balance of all of these selves within us, okay.

So that we have a balance and we reach that state of equilibrium

or individuation.

Now, the other thing I noticed earlier this year is a classic symptom

of your shadow self being suppressed is when you feel anxious all the time.

If you are moving around, if you're a, let's say, an entrepreneur like myself,

I remember in from April to June of this year, I had a big turnaround

in the business, you know, employee turnaround, things happening,

ship hitting the fan, you know, marketing slowing down.

And it was kind of the worst few months of the business.

And I became very, very anxious during that time.

And I would wake up at like 3 or 4 a.m.

with a pit of anxiety in my stomach.

And I was like, what the fuck's going on? Like, I can't sleep.

Like I don't know what's going on. Like, I just feel anxious all the time.

I don't know what's going to happen in the business.

I just want to keep checking my email, hoping, you know,

things don't go too wrong, etc., right?

And so I would be very, very anxious about this.

And I realized I was going into defense mode.

This character was going into defense mode.

When we become anxious and our shadow side is suppressed, we go into defense.

We're just trying to protect, trying to protect.

At those moments, you have to go on offense.

So when I started working with this coach and I learned to go into offense mode

rather than defense mode, what happened was my shadow side found expression.

And so my coach asked me, what would your shadow side do?

What would quasi shadow do in this instance?

So you could even give your shadow side a name.

So I would actually encourage that, give you a shadow side, a name

and so he would ask, what would quasi shadow do?

What quasi shadow wouldn't give a fuck?

Business is hitting the fan. Great.

Go and you know, go take the day off and hang out and,

you know, shoot the shit with your family.

Quasi shadow doesn't give a fuck about these little things.

It doesn't worry about stupid shit.

And when I started to tap into more and more of that, I went to more

and more offense mode, which is a direct cure for this defense mode problem,

where you get into this state of anxiety and you're becoming too protective.

You're becoming more gas break rather than oil gas.

So that's one of the keys I want you to take away.

Be oil, gas or or breaks, not gas.

And the break you don't hit the gas and the break at the same time.

You either hit the gas or the break.

So know when to do what and whatever it is

you do, go all in and fully commit to that.

So in a way, you're just committing to hitting one.

Go all in on one instead of half committing to two.

Okay?

And for the next two weeks, observe this shadow self.

Observe this shadow part of you.

What characteristics come up?

Most people don't really understand

what the shadow self is, nor do they understand how to bring it to light.

You have to become very.

You have to become hyper aware.

Just observe your patterns.

One of the things you're trying to run away from,

one of the things you're trying to suppress

and put push down to the surface because you're too afraid to confront it.

That is your shadow.

Go all in.

Go put the gas on instead of gas or break.

And so what I want you to do right now

is click here to watch the original video I made on The Shadow.

I think it's gotten over 700,000 views.

clients, people, viewers, subscribers really love this video.

I go deeper into the letting go method on this video,

which allows you to surrender that energy, that pent up energy

which is going to unlock avenues in your life you haven't even imagined.

So go ahead and click on this and I will see you in this next video right now.

Thanks.