"To This Day" ... for the bullied and beautiful | Shane Koyczan

Summary

The speaker reflects on the challenges of childhood identity and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. They recount personal experiences with bullying, self-loathing, and the struggle to define oneself amidst others' judgments. Through humor and poignant storytelling, they advocate for self-acceptance and resilience, encouraging listeners to embrace their true selves and reject the labels imposed by others. The narrative highlights the impact of name-calling and bullying, while celebrating the strength found in overcoming these adversities.

Takeaways

• 💔 The speaker discusses the early age at which children are expected to define themselves and the negative labels they receive from others.
• 🤔 The speaker questions the concept of being asked what they want to be when they grow up, suggesting it implies we can't be who we already are.
• 😅 Humor is used to illustrate the speaker's childhood dreams and the societal pressure to pursue 'realistic' career paths.
• 📚 The speaker shares their journey from wanting to be a marine biologist to a professional wrestler, highlighting the dismissal of their dreams.
• 📝 The importance of self-expression through poetry is emphasized as a way to combat self-hatred and societal expectations.
• 🤝 The speaker talks about standing up for oneself without resorting to violence, using personal experiences to illustrate this point.
• 🏫 The script highlights the harsh realities of school bullying and the long-term effects it can have on a person's self-perception.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker shares stories of individuals who have overcome childhood trauma and bullying, showing the power of resilience.
• 🌟 The message of self-acceptance and the belief in one's own worth is a central theme, encouraging the audience to see their own beauty and strength.
• 🎓 The speaker concludes with a call to embrace the identity that others may have tried to suppress, celebrating the journey from being an 'underdog' to a 'graduate' of overcoming adversity.

Q & A

What was the speaker's mother's advice on protecting his heart?

The speaker's mother advised him to hide his heart under the bed to protect it from being broken by others.

Why does the speaker say that hiding one's heart under the bed is not a good hiding spot?

The speaker implies that hiding one's heart under the bed is not a good hiding spot because he has been hurt many times, suggesting that hiding doesn't prevent emotional pain.

What was the unfair question the speaker thought he was asked as a child?

The unfair question was 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' because it presupposes that one cannot be what they already are.

What were some of the negative labels the speaker was given in his childhood?

The speaker was labeled with negative terms such as 'Geek', 'Fatty', 'Slut', and 'Fag' during his childhood.

Why did the speaker's interest in becoming a marine biologist change after watching the movie 'Jaws'?

The speaker's interest in becoming a marine biologist ended after watching 'Jaws' because the movie made him reconsider his aspiration due to the fear it instilled.

What career did the speaker initially want to pursue, and what was the reaction when he shared this with others?

The speaker initially wanted to be a writer, but when he shared this, he was told to choose something more realistic.

What was the speaker's alternative career choice after being told his dream of being a writer was not realistic?

After being told his dream of being a writer was not realistic, the speaker suggested he wanted to be a professional wrestler.

How did the speaker's poetry help him during his period of self-hatred?

The speaker's poetry was a response to a world that demanded he hate himself, and it helped him navigate through his period of self-hatred from age 15 to 18.

What was the speaker's strategy to stand up for himself when a classmate bullied him by calling him 'Yogi'?

The speaker gave the classmate wrong answers for homework, leading to the classmate receiving a zero on their paper, as a way to stand up for himself non-violently.

Why did the speaker get the nickname 'Porkchop'?

The speaker got the nickname 'Porkchop' after a misunderstanding where he told a school counselor that his grandmother gave him 'karate chops' when he was sad, which was misinterpreted as abuse.

What message does the speaker convey about the long-term effects of childhood bullying and name-calling?

The speaker conveys that childhood bullying and name-calling can have profound and lasting effects on a person's self-image and mental health, as seen in the stories of the individuals he shares.