How I Overcame My Fear of Public Speaking | Dr. Justin Moseley | TEDxWilmington
Summary
TLDRDr. Justin Mosley shares his journey of overcoming the fear of public speaking, a common struggle that many face. He emphasizes that everyone has a unique message to share with the world and that the key to conquering fear lies in realizing the importance of serving others with one's message. By shifting focus from oneself to the audience, and understanding that the physiological responses to fear and excitement are similar, one can transform fear into excitement. Mosley's story is a testament to the power of communication and the profound impact a shared message can have on others' lives.
Takeaways
- 😨 The speaker had a deep-seated fear of public speaking from childhood, which was reinforced by negative experiences.
- 🎓 College rekindled the fear during a mandatory speech class, further cementing the belief that public speaking was not for them.
- 🔑 The first key to overcoming fear was realizing everyone has a unique message to share with the world.
- 👉 The advice to consider one's past experiences and lessons as a means to help others was instrumental in the speaker's journey.
- 🤔 The speaker questioned their nervous thoughts before speaking and recognized the need to shift focus from self to serving others.
- 🌟 The second realization was that public speaking is about serving the audience, not about oneself.
- 🧬 Understanding the physiological responses to fear and excitement, and how they are similar, was a turning point.
- 🛠 The speaker learned to reframe fear as excitement, changing the narrative from a threat to a positive anticipation.
- 💪 Transforming fear into excitement was identified as a powerful tool for conquering the anxiety associated with public speaking.
- 👴 A personal story of impacting someone's life through a shared message underscored the importance and potential impact of public speaking.
- 🌍 The speaker encourages others to find their message, transform fear into excitement, and share it to make a positive impact on the world.
- 📣 The closing quote by BJ Palmer emphasizes the far-reaching effects of one's actions and words, inspiring the audience to consider their potential influence.
Q & A
What was the speaker's earliest memory of having a fear of public speaking?
-The speaker's earliest memory of having a fear of public speaking was in the second grade when their teacher called on students to read aloud in class.
What was the effect of the speaker's experience in the second grade on their perception of public speaking?
-The experience created a lasting memory that public speaking was not for them and reinforced the belief that they should stay quiet and avoid such situations.
How did the speaker's perspective on public speaking change during their freshman year in college?
-During their freshman year, the speaker had to take a speech class and experienced the same wave of anxiety, which further reinforced their belief that they were not meant to be a public speaker.
What was the first key realization that helped the speaker overcome their fear of public speaking?
-The first key realization was that everyone has a message to share, and the speaker's message mattered, which motivated them to start thinking about what they could share to help others.
According to the speaker, who is perfectly positioned to serve the person you once were?
-The speaker believes that you are perfectly positioned to serve the person you once were, meaning you can use your own life experiences and lessons learned to help others.
What was the second realization that helped the speaker overcome their fear of public speaking?
-The second realization was that sharing your message is not about you, but about the people you are there to serve, and focusing on the benefits they will receive from your message.
How did the speaker's understanding of fear and excitement help them transform their fear into excitement?
-The speaker learned that the physiological responses to fear and excitement are similar, and by changing their mindset to positive anticipation instead of perceiving a threat, they were able to transform their fear into excitement.
What was the impact of the speaker's message on a man who had undergone quadruple bypass surgery?
-The speaker's message inspired the man to get his health back, and not only did he recover, but he also went on to complete multiple Iron Man races, showing the power of the message.
What quote from BJ Palmer does the speaker share to emphasize the potential impact of one's actions?
-The quote is, 'You never know how far-reaching something you may think, say, or do today, will affect the lives of millions tomorrow,' highlighting the potential for a single message to have a widespread impact.
What is the main message the speaker wants the audience to take away from their talk?
-The main message is to find your own message, transform your fear into excitement, and start sharing it with the world to make a positive impact.
How did the speaker's approach to public speaking evolve from a fear-based mindset to a mission-focused one?
-The speaker evolved their approach by realizing the importance of their message, focusing on serving others, and transforming their fear into excitement by understanding the physiological similarities between fear and excitement.
Outlines
😨 Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking
The speaker recounts their early experiences with the fear of public speaking, beginning with a traumatic memory from the second grade where they were anxious about being called on to read aloud in class. This fear persisted into adulthood, even during college when a required speech class triggered the same anxiety. The speaker describes the intense physical symptoms they experienced, like a racing heart and trembling voice, and how these experiences reinforced the belief that public speaking was not for them. Despite this, the speaker felt a persistent desire to share a message and make an impact, which became the foundation for overcoming this fear.
📢 Realizing the Importance of Your Message
The speaker shares the first key to overcoming the fear of public speaking: realizing that everyone has a valuable message to share. They emphasize that your life experiences and the lessons you've learned can be of great help to others who are going through similar challenges. Quoting their mentor Rory Vaden, the speaker highlights the idea that you are 'perfectly positioned to serve the person you once were.' By reflecting on their own life and sharing their experiences, the speaker found that they could make a positive impact, which motivated them to continue speaking despite their fears.
🎯 Shifting Focus from Self to Service
The second key to overcoming public speaking fear is understanding that your message is not about you, but about the people you are there to serve. The speaker explains how their fear was rooted in self-centered thoughts, such as worrying about judgment and making mistakes. A powerful insight from Rory Vaden helped shift this perspective: 'Fear disappears when the mission to serve is clear.' By focusing on the value their audience would gain from the message, the speaker found that the anxiety decreased, and their motivation to speak grew stronger.
😌 Transforming Fear into Excitement
The speaker introduces the third key to overcoming public speaking fear: transforming fear into excitement. They discuss how the body's physiological responses to fear and excitement are identical, and how the difference lies in whether the situation is perceived as a threat or as something to look forward to. By reframing their thoughts, the speaker began to see the familiar signs of fear as indicators of excitement, reminding themselves that they were about to make a positive impact. This mindset shift allowed the speaker to embrace public speaking opportunities with enthusiasm rather than dread.
🏅 The Impact of Sharing Your Message
The speaker illustrates the profound impact of overcoming public speaking fear with a personal story. They recount a significant moment from 2012 when they gave a speech to an audience of 200 people. After the talk, a man who had recently undergone quadruple bypass surgery thanked the speaker for inspiring him to regain his health. This man went on to complete multiple Ironman races, a testament to the speaker's message. The story underscores the importance of sharing your message, as it has the potential to change lives. The speaker encourages others to consider the legacy they could leave by overcoming their fears and sharing their message with the world.
🌟 Embracing Your Potential and Making an Impact
In the final paragraph, the speaker challenges the audience to reflect on the potential impact they can make by overcoming their fear of public speaking. They share a favorite quote from BJ Palmer, emphasizing the far-reaching effects of our words and actions. The speaker concludes with a personal triumph, having spoken on the TEDx stage, something they never thought possible in their earlier years. Their message is clear: anyone can overcome the fear of public speaking, find their message, and make a positive impact on the world.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Public Speaking
💡Fear
💡Message
💡Serve
💡Anxiety
💡Embarrassment
💡Transformation
💡Excitement
💡Impact
💡Legacy
💡Mission
Highlights
The speaker's childhood experience with fear of public speaking, being called upon to read in the second grade and the resulting embarrassment.
The realization that everyone has a unique message to share with the world, inspired by mentor Rory Vaden's advice.
The concept of serving the person you once were by sharing life lessons and overcoming obstacles.
The importance of shifting focus from oneself to the audience and the benefits they will receive from the message.
The physiological similarities between fear and excitement, and the potential to reinterpret fear as excitement.
The transformative power of recognizing that public speaking is an opportunity to positively impact lives.
The personal story of overcoming public speaking fear to deliver a message that inspired a man to regain his health and complete an Iron Man race.
The idea that the impact of sharing one's message can extend far beyond what we can imagine, affecting millions.
The encouragement to find one's own message and transform fear into excitement for the purpose of making a positive impact.
The speaker's journey from a fearful student to a TEDx speaker, demonstrating that overcoming fear is possible.
The quote from BJ Palmer emphasizing the far-reaching effects of one's actions and words.
The call to action for the audience to reflect on the potential impact they can make by sharing their message.
The empowerment message that if the speaker could overcome public speaking fear, so can the audience.
The final encouragement to find one's message, transform fear into excitement, and share it with the world.
The introduction of Dr. Justin Mosley as the speaker and his closing thank you.
Transcripts
have you ever been nervous or felt fear
when you've had to speak in
public and maybe you've been on a stage
in front of a room full of people or
maybe you had a share a presentation in
front of your
co-workers or maybe you've been in a
room full of Strang and they made you
stand up and say who you are where
you're from and what you do now at some
point most people have felt what it
feels like to be afraid to speak in
public for me I grew up with a
tremendous fear of public speaking and
my earliest memory of having a fear to
speak happened in the second
grade our teacher was going around the
room and calling on students to read
anybody been there I was thinking please
don't call on me please don't call on me
please don't call on me and she called
someone else I can
relax but as they would get to the end
of what they were reading that anxiety
would start to build again please don't
call on me please don't call on me and
then it happened she called my
name and this wave of anxiety came over
my body and as I started to read I
started fumbling over my words and the
more I tried to get it together the
worst it got and I started hearing other
kids laughing at me
and by the time I finished I was so
embarrassed I remember thinking I never
want to do that again and it created
this memory early on you're not a public
speaker this isn't for you you just need
to stay
quiet and I kept that memory for years
to come fast forward to my freshman year
in college I had to take a speech class
and when I got up to give my speech that
familiar wave of anxiety came over my
body again
my heart started beating out of my chest
my adrenaline was racing my throat got
dry my muscle started to tense up and
when I was looking at my note card my
hand just started
shaking and when I tried to speak my
voice started
trembling and I felt this wave of heat
come over my body and I felt like I was
about to pass
out and somehow I made it through the
speech but that further anchored into my
mind you're not a speaker you just need
to give this up
and I continued to believe that for
years public speaking is not for
me but over the years I kept feeling
this feeling
inside that I have a message to share
that I needed to speak that I can make a
bigger
impact so that led me to the first key
that helped me overcome my fear of
public speaking was the realization that
everyone has a message to
share each and every one of you has a
message inside of you that the world is
waiting to hear and your message
matters but maybe you're like me for
years I didn't think I had a message to
share I wondered what could I share that
would help someone
else well my friend and Mentor Rory
Vaden says it best he says you are
perfectly positioned to serve the person
you once
were think about that there's stuff
you've been through in your life there's
lessons you've learned obstacles you've
overcome and there's lessons you've
learned along the way that you can take
and help other people because right now
there's someone going through what you
went through in the past and you can
take those lessons you've learned and
help them overcome their
challenges so I started going through my
life and I started thinking well what
have I been through and what lessons
have I learned that I could use to help
others and I started sharing those and
it started helping people and that's why
I'm here today Shar sharing this message
because I overcame the fear of public
speaking years ago and I wanted to share
what helped me so other people can share
their message with the world so first I
realized I had a message to share then I
started asking myself well what goes
through my head that makes me so nervous
before I get up to speak and I would
think thoughts like they're going to
judge me what if they don't like the way
I look or the way I'm dressed or what if
they don't like the sound of my voice
or what if I mess up and I say the wrong
thing all those thoughts that were going
through my head were about me me me me
and I realized I needed to shift that
and that led me to the second
realization that helped me overcome my
fear of public speaking was realizing
that sharing your message is not about
you it's about the people you're there
to serve and what's in it for
them and my friend Rory Vaden says it
best he he told me fear disappears when
the mission to serve is
clear when you have the heart to serve
people you take the focus off of you and
you start focusing on what's the benefit
that they're going to get by hearing my
message and that changed everything for
me when I took the focus off of me and I
started focusing on what are they going
to get out of my message I realized if
one person takes what I have to say and
applies it to their life it was worth
it so key number one is you have a
message to share number two your message
is not about you it's about the people
you're there to
serve now the next thing I started to do
was I started to study well what is fear
and fear is our body's natural response
to Danger when our body feels danger we
go into the fight ORF flight response
and we get ready to run or fight for our
lives so I was studying well what are
the common causes of fear and the most
common phys ological responses to fear
are increased heart rate increased
adrenaline shallow breathing muscle
tension sweating dry mouth and
butterflies in the stomach well I used
to get most of those when I would get up
to speak but I started to ask myself
what other times do I feel those
feelings well I feel those feelings when
I get
excited so I looked up what are the most
common causes or the the common
physiological responses to excitement
and they are increased heart rate
increased adrenaline shallow breathing
muscle tension sweating dry mouth and
butterflies in the stomach our bodies go
through the exact same physiological
response in response to fear or
excitement so the way to tell the
difference if it's fear is associated
with a threat or danger or if it's
excitement it's positive anticipation so
it all comes down to am I in danger or
am I looking forward to this and that
led me to the third key that helped me
overcome my fear was that I could
transform my fear into
excitement so when you get up and you
start to share your message and you feel
those familiar feelings what I used to
do was say oh there's that fear again
remember when you used to speak before
that didn't go so well they're going to
judge you this isn't for you why do you
think you should do this and that fear
would overtake me but now what I do I
shifted that and I created a new story
so when I feel those feelings I tell
myself you're excited you're about to go
out there and transform someone's life
today and now I really do get excited
because I know that if I go out and if
one person takes what I have to say and
they apply it to their life I can make a
positive impact so I want you to
remember when you get up you start to
feel those feelings you have the ability
to transform that fear into excitement
so if you're still wondering what why
should I share my
message what impact do I have to make
well I want to take you back to
2012 uh at the time I was giving the
biggest talk that I'd given at that
point and there was an auditorium full
of 200 people and I was ready I knew my
message my mission to serve was clear I
transformed my fear into excitement and
I went out there and I delivered and at
the end of The Talk a man came up to me
and he said Dr Justin I want to thank
you for sharing that
message he said I recently underwent
quadruple bypass surgery he said when I
was laying in the hospital bed my family
they brought in my little grandson and
they put my grandson on my lap he said I
looked at my grandson and I made a
promise right then and there that I'm
going to get my health back because I'm
going to be around to watch my grandson
grow up and he said what you just shared
with me gave gave me exactly what I
needed to get my health
back and not only did he go on to get
his health back at 65 years old he
completed the Iron Man which is a
grueling race which is a 2.4 mile swim a
112 mile bike ride and a complete
marathon of 26.2 miles not only has he
done one Iron Man he's gone on to do
multiple Iron Man
races and the reason I'm telling you
this is because I never would have been
able to make a difference in his life if
I wouldn't have overcome my fear of
public speaking if I wouldn't realized I
had a message to share and if I didn't
get out and start sharing that message I
never would have been able to help
him but just like that man needed to
hear my message in that moment there is
someone that's desperately waiting to
hear your message there's a message
inside of you that the world needs to
hear so I want you to ask yourself what
impact can I make if I overcome my fear
of public speaking and I start sharing
my message with the world what lives can
I touch what Legacy can I leave what
positive impact can I make in the
world I want to leave you with one of my
favorite quotes from BJ Palmer he says
you never know how far-reaching
something you may think say or do today
will affect the lives of millions
tomorrow if you would have told me years
ago that one day I was going to be
standing on the tedex stage in this
iconic red
circle sharing my message with the world
I would have said there's no way but I'm
here I did it and if I can overcome my
fear of public speaking so can you so my
hope is that you'll find your message
you'll transform your fear into
excitement and you'll go out and you'll
start sharing your message with the
world and you'll make a positive
impact I'm Dr Justin Mosley thank you
oh
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