The EASY Way to Text Girls on Tinder, Hinge or Bumble

Summary

This video script offers a comprehensive guide to improving online dating success by optimizing messaging strategies. It emphasizes the importance of creating attraction, comfort, and commitment within a few text exchanges to secure a date. The speaker shares a 22-year-tested strategy, debunks the myth of needing extensive online connection before meeting, and illustrates the process with a practical example from a dating app. The goal is to efficiently transition from app interaction to real-life dating by skillfully navigating conversations and avoiding common pitfalls.

Takeaways

• 📈 Improve Messaging: Small tweaks in messaging can significantly increase the number of dates obtained from dating apps.
• 🤔 Common Mistakes: Many men struggle with messaging, losing potential dates due to ineffective communication strategies.
• 🔑 Good Messaging: Effective messaging is simple and purposeful, each text moving the conversation closer to a desired outcome.
• 📝 Strategy Overview: The speaker has a 22-year-old online dating strategy that continually improves and refines over time.
• 🚫 Avoid Prolonged Messaging: Long conversations without making plans can lead to inactivity or being seen as 'just a friend'.
• 🤝 Building Blocks: To successfully transition from online to offline, one must establish attraction, comfort, and commitment.
• 📞 Final Message: The ultimate goal of messaging is to lead to a simple and direct exchange of contact information to plan a date.
• 💡 Early Mention of Plans: Introducing the concept of a date early in the conversation prevents it from feeling sudden or pressured.
• 🔄 Interaction Dynamics: The order of building attraction, comfort, and commitment may vary, but it often follows a specific sequence for effectiveness.
• 📉 Risk of Delay: Delaying the close after establishing necessary elements can lead to boredom, loss of momentum, and competition from other suitors.
• 🔗 We Formation: The use of 'we' in conversation indicates a sense of togetherness and is a strong sign towards commitment and comfort.

Q & A

What is the main claim made in the video script about online dating messaging?

The main claim is that by making a few small tweaks in messaging, one can increase the number of dates obtained from apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and Match.com by five to ten times.

According to the script, what percentage of potential dates are typically lost due to poor messaging?

The script suggests that 80 to 90 percent of potential dates are lost because of ineffective messaging.

What is the speaker's strategy for moving a conversation from an online dating app to an offline date?

The speaker's strategy involves establishing attraction, comfort, and commitment within four to seven texts before suggesting to exchange phone numbers and plan a date.

What are the three elements a girl needs to feel before she's ready to meet offline, according to the script?

The three elements are attraction, comfort, and commitment.

How does the speaker define 'attraction' in the context of online dating messaging?

In the context of online dating, 'attraction' means being perceived as an attractive, fun, and high-value individual who is direct and assertive, without resorting to flattery or persuasion.

What does 'comfort' signify in the online dating messaging process described in the script?

'Comfort' signifies that the girl has enough knowledge about the person to feel at ease and not be concerned about meeting a 'total weirdo' or someone potentially unsafe.

What is the importance of 'commitment' in the speaker's messaging strategy?

'Commitment' is important because it means that the idea of meeting and making plans has already been introduced and agreed upon before the actual close of the conversation, preventing it from being a surprise or causing pressure.

What is the final message the speaker plans to send to a girl when initiating a conversation on an online dating app?

The final message is a simple and direct request for the girl's phone number, phrased as 'Sounds good. My number's [number], what's yours?'

How does the speaker use the concept of 'we' in the conversation to build comfort and commitment?

The speaker uses 'we' to create a sense of a shared entity between the two individuals, implying a connection and mutual understanding, which helps build comfort and a sense of commitment.

Can you provide an example from the script where the speaker uses humor and playfulness to establish attraction?

An example is when the speaker messages a girl saying, 'I feel like you copied off my paper for this test,' using humor and a playful tone to get her attention and establish attraction.

What is the significance of the phrase 'challenge accepted' used by the girl in the example provided?

The phrase 'challenge accepted' signifies that the girl is willing to meet the speaker's standards and is ready to take on the challenge of going on a date, indicating a positive level of attraction, comfort, and commitment.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 Boosting Online Dating Success

The speaker introduces a strategy to significantly increase the number of dates obtained from dating apps by optimizing messaging techniques. They emphasize that poor messaging is a common issue among men, causing a high loss of potential dates. The speaker promises to demonstrate a simple yet effective messaging approach that has worked for them for over two decades. They also mention common frustrations in online dating, such as getting stuck in endless messaging without progressing to a date or facing sudden silence when attempting to make plans. The key takeaway is that good messaging can lead to dates efficiently, and the speaker intends to share their proven strategy.

05:00

🔑 The Myth of Online Familiarity

This paragraph dispels the myth that extensive online interaction is necessary before meeting in person for a date. The speaker argues that because women are on dating apps with the intention of dating, they are more likely to prioritize a good date experience over an online conversation. The speaker introduces the concept of establishing three key elements in messaging: attraction, comfort, and commitment. These elements are crucial for a woman to feel ready to transition from online messaging to an offline date. The speaker also introduces their final message strategy, which is a simple and direct request for a phone number to move the interaction offline.

10:03

🤝 Building Attraction, Comfort, and Commitment

The speaker elaborates on the three essential elements for successful online messaging: attraction, comfort, and commitment. Attraction is established by being an appealing and assertive individual, not by trying to win over the woman through flattery. Comfort involves the woman feeling assured that the man is genuine and not a potential threat, requiring some level of personal connection. Commitment is about naturally integrating the idea of meeting up into the conversation, ensuring it does not come as a surprise. The speaker stresses the importance of not rushing to close the conversation without establishing these elements, as it may lead to rejection or a halt in communication.

15:05

📘 Example of Effective Messaging

The speaker provides a detailed example of an effective messaging sequence on the dating app Hinge. They demonstrate how to open the conversation with a witty and attention-grabbing message, establish attraction through playful banter, and subtly introduce the idea of meeting up early in the conversation. The example continues with the speaker responding to the woman's messages in a way that builds comfort by sharing personal preferences and maintaining a playful frame. The sequence culminates in the woman accepting the implicit challenge of a date, leading to the exchange of phone numbers and the arrangement of a date, illustrating the successful application of the discussed strategy.

🌟 Conclusion and Further Resources

In conclusion, the speaker summarizes the importance of the messaging strategy and encourages viewers to learn more through their online messaging guide. They acknowledge that the provided example is just the beginning and that various situations can arise in online dating. The guide promises to cover a wide range of scenarios, objections, and ways to maintain momentum in the conversation. The speaker invites viewers to visit the provided link for a comprehensive understanding of the messaging model and practical examples to improve their online dating experience.

Keywords

💡Messaging

Messaging, in the context of the video, refers to the art of communicating with potential dates through online dating platforms. It is a crucial skill because, as the video suggests, poor messaging can lead to a significant loss of potential dates. The video emphasizes the importance of good messaging in building attraction, comfort, and commitment, which are key to securing a date.

💡Attraction

Attraction is a fundamental concept in the video, describing the initial appeal one must create to engage a potential date's interest. It involves being perceived as fun, assertive, and high value, rather than merely trying to please the other person. The video illustrates this through the use of playful and confident messages that assert the speaker's personality and desirability.

💡Comfort

Comfort, in this context, is about establishing a sense of familiarity and trust with the person you are messaging. It is necessary for the other person to feel at ease and to know that you are a genuine individual. The video script mentions that while comfort requirements have decreased with the normalization of online dating, it is still essential to share some personal details to avoid being perceived as a 'total weirdo'.

💡Commitment

Commitment, as discussed in the video, is about the readiness to move the relationship from online messaging to an offline date. It is one of the three key elements that need to be established through messaging. The video emphasizes that mentioning plans early in the conversation helps to build this commitment, making the eventual transition to a date feel natural and expected rather than sudden.

💡Online Dating Strategy

The term 'online dating strategy' encapsulates the systematic approach the video proposes for successfully navigating the world of online dating. It includes understanding the importance of messaging, establishing attraction, comfort, and commitment, and knowing when to close the conversation with a plan to meet offline. The video claims that this strategy has been refined over 22 years and continues to improve.

💡Closing

Closing, in the context of the video, refers to the final stage of the messaging process where the intention is to transition from online interaction to an actual date. The video suggests that a successful close involves having established attraction, comfort, and commitment, culminating in a simple and direct message exchange of phone numbers.

💡Witty Banter

Witty banter is a playful and clever form of conversation that the video script identifies as a way to win over a potential date. It is an example of creating attraction through humor and intelligence, as demonstrated in the script where the speaker uses a playful comment to initiate a conversation with a girl who values witty banter.

💡Factual Exchange

Factual exchange is a part of the comfort-building process in online messaging. It involves sharing personal details or preferences to give the other person a sense of who you are. In the script, the girl's message about her tendency to order less common items is an example of seeking a factual exchange to build comfort.

💡Challenge

The concept of a 'challenge' in the video is used to create attraction by setting a standard for the other person to meet. It is a playful way of saying that they must prove themselves to be worthy of your time or attention. The video script uses the phrase 'challenge accepted' to show that the girl is willing to meet the speaker's playful challenge, indicating a high level of attraction and commitment.

💡Ghosting

Ghosting is a term used to describe the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone, often used in the context of dating. The video warns that failing to establish the necessary elements of attraction, comfort, and commitment can lead to ghosting, where the person simply stops responding or their dating profile becomes inactive.

Highlights

Potential to increase dates from dating apps by 5 to 10 times with small messaging tweaks.

Most guys are poor at messaging, losing 80-90% of potential dates due to ineffective communication.

Effective messaging is simple and doesn't need to be complicated.

A successful transition from app to offline meeting usually takes 4 to 7 texts with a clear purpose.

Online dating strategy that works for 22 years, constantly refined and improved.

Avoid common messaging pitfalls that lead to dead-end conversations or being perceived as 'just a friend'.

Dispelling the myth that extensive online conversation is needed before a date.

The importance of moving quickly to secure a date before other competitors.

Three essential elements to establish in messaging: attraction, comfort, and commitment.

The final message strategy to close the interaction with a simple and direct request for contact.

Creating a playful frame to initiate conversation and establish attraction.

The use of 'we' in conversation as a sign of comfort and potential commitment.

Introducing plans early in the conversation to avoid sudden pressure and ghosting.

The balance between building attraction and establishing comfort through message exchanges.

The importance of not closing the conversation before establishing the three key elements.

The risk of losing momentum and interest if the conversation is not closed after establishing attraction, comfort, and commitment.

An example of efficiently filling the three buckets (attraction, comfort, commitment) and successfully closing the conversation for a date.

The significance of responding to a girl's needs for comfort with logical and factual information about oneself.

Using challenges and playful banter to solidify attraction and commitment before closing for a date.

The final successful exchange of phone numbers and the agreement to move to the next step of planning a date.

Transcripts

what if I were to tell you you could be

getting five times to ten times as many

dates from apps like hinge Bumble Tinder

match.com then you're currently getting

simply by making a few small tweaks in

your messaging if you're like most guys

you're absolutely terrible at messaging

and you're losing 80 to 90 of your

potential dates because of it and here's

the thing good messaging isn't

complicated it's actually very very

simple most the time when I'm messaging

a girl to get her from the app to off of

the app it's four to seven texts and

they're not even complicated text every

single one has a purpose every single

one is moving it closer to the outcome

I'm going to show you exactly how you

can do that also in this video

[Music]

in just a few minutes I'm going to

explain to you my online dating strategy

that has been working for me for 22

years wow I'm actually quite old I guess

yes it's been working for more than two

decades and it gets better every single

year more refined and works better and

better so I'm going to show you that and

then I'm going to give you an example of

me using the that exact strategy so you

can see it in action let me know if this

sounds familiar to you you message a

girl for days and days even weeks and

weeks and you never actually get her

phone number never actually make plans

and then eventually her account goes

inactive and she stops messaging you

back or when you do eventually make

plans she says oh you know she's not

really ready or she sees you as more of

a friend at this point or whatever if

that's happened to you number one you're

doing something very very wrong number

two you're doing the same thing wrong

that most guys are doing this is the

result tons of guys are getting in their

online messaging or how about this how

about you have the entire interaction

seem to be going well the girl seems to

like you but every single time you go to

make plans she goes silent or starts

putting up objections or asking a bunch

of logical questions that stall the

interaction and get you nowhere that's

also very very typical and it's an issue

that tons of guys run into that keeps

them from getting dates and leads to a

ton of frustration or what about girls

constantly just giving you one word

answers or non-committal answers and

just seemingly never giving you anything

to work with or you have to keep

generating more conversation and

generating more conversation and it

feels like you're you know doing all the

work almost like lifting Boulders at a

quarry how hard it is and the girl seems

to just never give anything back again

this is a common frustration almost all

guys experience I'm going to show you

how to avoid all of these and how to

move your messaging purposely forward

towards an end result on a continual

repeated basis let's look into that

right now so let's first dispel the myth

that you need to really really get to

know a girl online before you can get

her onto a date that's simply not true

for a couple reasons number one the girl

is on an online dating app she has made

a commitment to herself that she's

putting time and energy and investment

into getting this area of her life

handled and actually if you take a long

time and other guys are messaging her

faster and getting her on dates faster

one of them is going to get her out on a

date have a good date with her and no

matter how good your online conversation

was that date is going to trump it that

date is going to matter more than

whatever happened online the point of

being on line is to get her offline in

fact with online there are three things

you need to establish once you've

established those things it is time to

close and with that in mind as I teach

you my method the first thing I'm going

to teach you is the very end because

everything is designed to make the end

as simple and straightforward as

possible so here is my planned final

message every time I start messaging a

girl see when I send that first message

I have in my mind the last message will

be this and everything I do throughout

the entire interaction is designed to

make this last message make sense and

the last message is this sounds good my

number's this what's yours very very

simple simple direct to the point in

order for that to be your last message

it means you have to have done a good

job with the rest of the interaction it

means you must have created a good

enough interaction that that makes sense

and in fact this sounds good part

specifically means you already got the

girl agreeing to plans or suggesting

plans before you even sent that last

message and again we're doing this

within four to seven messages so how do

we do that well there are three things

like I said that a girl needs to feel

before she's ready to be close before

she's willing to meet you offline

instead of just messaging you online and

those three things are attraction

comfort and commitment if she feels

those three things have been present in

the interaction or are present in her

feelings towards you now she is ready to

be closed so how do we bake that in and

what do each of those mean well first of

all attraction means that you are an

attractive guy it means that you are are

fun it means that you are in alignment

with her vision of what a high value guy

is it means that you are direct

assertive enough that you're moving

things forward and it means that you're

not just trying to like kiss her ass and

win her over that way it means she views

you as a strong individual worthy of

chasing worthy of her on a value level

next up Comfort she has to know you at

least a little bit before she wants to

make plans now when I first started

online dating in year 2000 this was huge

this was probably the biggest thing

because it was very weird and unusual to

do online dating at that time and

everybody was scared that they'd meet

like a serial killer online or something

like that now online dating is extremely

mainstream extremely normal and girls

you know have been on lots of online

days before so the level of comfort

needed is far less but they still need

to know you're not a total weirdo they

still need to know you're a real human

being and they still want to feel like

they have some idea of your personality

in the details of your life as opposed

to just being this like funny like glib

guy who has no substance behind it so

she wants to feel some level of comfort

so she knows that she's not going to

just end up in a weird situation or end

up with like a psycho and then finally

commitment and this is what I was

talking about when I said that you want

to be able to say sounds good at the

start of your last message the point of

commitment is that the nature of the

conversation should already be such that

you've mentioned plans and she's

mentioned plans before you're going for

the close you should not be bringing the

plans up on the clothes and you should

not be closing out of nowhere this is

one of the main reasons why guys will

have what appears to be a good

interaction and then they go to close at

the end and all of a sudden the girl

just ghosts them or goes silent because

it's a surprise to her she's not ready

for it it just seems to come out of

nowhere it kind of takes her off guard

or seems like too much pressure all at

once so you want to be bringing up the

concept of plans before you actually

close it should not just be in that last

closing message you should not for

example be closing with something like

hey you're seem pretty cool why don't we

get together for a date on Tuesday night

when before that you just been talking

about random topics that's too much too

fast all at once so just to reiterate

there are three buckets you need to fill

attraction Comfort commitment on the one

hand if you try to close before you

filled those buckets you're likely to

hear no get resistance and other things

that will slow down the interaction or

possibly cause it to come to a grinding

Halt and for the girl to just stop

messaging her entirely on the other hand

if you have built those three elements

and you don't close you're wasting time

at the very least and also the

interaction is going to start becoming

more boring it'll start losing impact

and momentum and also keep in mind that

when girls are messaging online they're

messaging other guys so the longer you

take online the more likely it is some

other guy will go on a date with her

first and impress her on the date so

that's another reason why once those

buckets are full you want to close and

get to the next step so by knowing that

those are the three buckets you need to

fill you now have a high level

understanding of what you're trying to

do whenever you're messaging a girl and

that's very important because every

single text sequence will be a little

different they're not going to go

exactly according to plan so I'm about

to show you an example where I quickly

and efficiently fill these three buckets

and then am able to close one quick note

to make the example make more sense

usually the order will be open

attraction Comfort commitment and close

it does not necessarily have to be that

order but you will find that in the

majority of cases it will be that order

because that keeps it interesting and

fun which keeps her around long enough

to build comfort with you and build a

commitment with you it does not have to

be in that order if she shows a strong

urge to commit early on then go ahead

and build that commitment you can build

the attraction as you go or if she she

wants to have a very comfortable

conversation you mix in just a little

bit of Attraction it can happen in that

order but most of the time I'd say at

least 75 80 percent of the time it's

going to be open attraction Comfort

commitment close and that's exactly the

structure you're going to see in this

particular example so let's look at it

so this example is from hinge and this

is a girl that was in my most compatible

so I had to message her first so I found

this prompt she said the way to win me

over is witty banter and intelligent

conversation and if you know my

personality at all you know I read that

and I thought hey that's me so I wrote

something along those lines in order to

get her attention and get the

conversation started but I wrote it a

little more cleverly I wrote I feel like

you copied off my paper for this test

winky face now what does this do first

of all it opens the conversation by

being a little bit interesting and it's

very critical to get our attention

because girls are ignoring far more guys

than they're responding to online

especially in a case like this where she

didn't match with you first right so

she's probably swiping left on you the

vast majority of the time you need to

get her attention you need to get on her

radar so I want to be a little more

interested also I'm putting in a little

bit of Attraction here because I'm being

a little bit cocky the fact that I'm

being cocky and saying she cheated off

my my test and claiming these things

without acting like I'm claiming them

it's a little bit of a cocky assertion

right so there's an open here there's a

little bit of Attraction here and I'm

being a bit interesting so she says in

this case we'll both pass the test with

flying colors so she responds in this

case we'll both pass the test with

flying colors now this is great for a

number of reasons number one she's

saying that I have good answers to the

test that she's copying off two she's

accepting my frame she's accepting I put

out this playful frame and she's going

along with it and she actually uses the

word we the word we is a very powerful

word because the very idea that there is

a We There is a you and her as an entity

together is already a very strong sign

towards commitment towards Comfort Etc

so this is a very positive response from

her so my response is perhaps I'll take

you for a celebratory drink as long as

you don't copy my order and then blindly

agree with me on everything all night so

what am I doing here well number one I'm

adding more attraction by the fact that

I'm pushing her away or creating a

standard for her saying don't blindly

agree with me you still have a standard

to meet as opposed to me trying to

convince her I'm good enough or kissing

her ass or trying to persuade her like

most guys are doing that's building more

attraction but very importantly because

things are going well because there's

already attraction Grant generated by my

first message and she's already in

playing some level of comfort and some

level of commitment with me I'm already

seeding the plans this is my second

message and I'm already mentioning the

plans but what am I doing I'm mentioning

them in the negative if this and this

and this happens we could do plans I'm

not saying please go on a date with me

in fact I'm saying you would have to

earn a date with me but I'm already

mentioning I'm already getting that

commitment I'm already mentioning the

plans by the second message so let's see

how she responds so she responds maybe

if we let me order first I'll blame you

for copying me instead okay so this is

pretty good in the sense that she's sort

of agreeing to the plans or she's

playing out the scenario of us being on

a date together and that's the beauty of

bringing up the date early on is that

you will get that on the other hand this

is sort of slightly a test because

the whole frame so far has been the idea

that I'm the one that is leading and

then she's copying me when she's trying

to reverse it maybe I'm the one copying

her so it's a little bit of a test

but it's a test that's mostly

pretty good so where are we at here so

we have some level of attraction we had

some comfort and commitment and we still

have that but now I need to generate a

little more attraction I need to make

sure sure that that's solidified so I

say only if you have very good taste

cocky line but I suppose it could be fun

to find out so continuing to proceed

forward with the plans but again with

the idea that we're finding out not that

I'm sure and the idea that I would only

copy her if she had good taste there's

still a standard for her to meet she's

still being appraised as well as me so

she says I have a tendency to go for the

less common items on the menu so you've

been forewarned now what is this this is

possibly another test a little bit

but mostly what is this it's Comfort

she's just exchanging facts with me and

once a girl likes you before she'll make

plans oftentimes she just wants to have

a little bit of a factual exchange she

wants to just have a little bit of get

to know you and so I think primarily her

Instinct here is to just have a little

comfort in the conversation that's what

she's kind of emotionally feeling and

that's mostly why she would be writing

this text so then I say I prefer the

tried and true best over the flavor of

the month in drinks as well as

companions so perhaps we'll be good in

all areas now this is a really

interesting frame for me to take what am

I saying here because she is indicating

she wants Comfort one type of comfort a

girl can want online is the idea a guy

will stick around or the fact the guy is

genuine and not just looking for sex or

not just looking for a one-night stand

Etc and so here because she's looking

for comfort in general I gave her this

little symbolic representation of

comfort baked into this message now I'm

not flat out saying you know it won't be

a one-night stand I'm not flat out

saying I'll be her boyfriend or anything

like that but I'm implying things that

are more comfortable because she

responded with Comfort but again I said

I prefer the tried and true best so I'm

still challenging her I'm still giving

her a standard to live up to so there's

a little more attraction jump bumped in

there and then so perhaps we'll be good

in all areas there's a little bit of

just keeping that idea of commitments

right I'm still every message it still

has the plans into it even if the plans

are not the primary thing so she says

sounds wonderful what are some of your

tried and true favorites in drinks as

well as companions this is a pure

Comfort seeking message she's saying I

want actual comfort from you that's how

you should read this the literal text is

not so important the most important part

of this is she's looking for a logical

answer she's looking for like some

feeling of who I am so I give a longer

answer than I usually would in text

usually I don't give long texts but

again she's looking for comfort so it's

kind of acceptable in this case I can't

say this particularly sophisticated but

I like wines that are a little bit sweet

and fruity and mixed drinks with

champagne that's completely logical that

has nothing to do with game in terms of

like provoking emotions or being high

value or anything like that it's just me

giving her facts and the reason I gave

her fax and gave her a little glimpse

into some little quirky element of me is

because she specifically asked for it in

the last message she's telling me how to

gamer basically she's telling me what

she needs in order to feel good about

going on a date with me so if she's

going to tell me I need this in order to

feel good about going on a date with you

obviously if I want to go on a date with

her I should probably give her what

she's asking for I'm gonna say as far as

favorite companions maybe I'll introduce

you to some some if you prove to be one

also and so again this challenge of if

she proves to be one of my favorite

companions then maybe there's something

on the end of it and so she says

challenge accepted and this is

absolutely the right message what does

this message say it says challenge

accepted as in you have enough

attraction in me that I am willing to

take on a challenge for you positive

challenge accepted means the comfort you

just gave me I have assessed and I agree

with it and I think that's sufficient

comfort and challenge accepted means I

accept the challenge of going on a date

with you I accept the challenge of plans

so this last message it's two words but

it says there's attraction there's

Comfort there's commitment in two words

challenge accepted perfect message to be

closing off of so what do I write the

closing message we all expect sounds

good my number is number what's yours

she responds phone number looking

forward to sharing some more fun convos

with you absolutely lutely the response

you want we have agreed a plan we've

agreed we like each other we've

exchanged numbers we're ready to get to

the next step and plan the date so

hopefully you enjoyed that high level

view into online dating and what you're

trying to do as well as hopefully you

learned a lot from that example

obviously this is just the tip of the

iceberg there are lots of eventualities

that can come up different objections a

girl can give different hesitations a

girl can give different ways the

conversation can get derailed never mind

what you need to do once you've gotten

the number to actually plan the date if

you want a lot more information about

all of that check out my full online

messaging guide it's at the link below

and in the description it's going to go

much more into depth about this model as

well as many more examples of me

applying it so that you'll see all the

different iterations the goal of that is

so that no matter what a girl will ever

send you you're going to know exactly

what to message back together from match

to phone number to date so check it out

at the link below and I will see you on

the next video