Coping Skills for Anxiety or Depression 13/30 How to Process Emotions

Summary

This video script delves into the impact of emotions on rational thinking, explaining how the brain's survival mode can impair decision-making during intense emotional states. It offers 25 coping skills to transition from an emotional to a rational mindset, emphasizing the importance of clear thinking in handling crises. The script also discusses the role of Blinkist in providing condensed book insights for personal development. It concludes with advice on creating a crisis plan and highlights the necessity of addressing emotional issues for long-term mental health.

Takeaways

• 🧠 Emotional reactions can impair rational thinking, as the brain prioritizes survival over complex thought when perceiving a threat.
• 🏃‍♂️ Our ancestors' survival instincts, such as fleeing from predators or seeking high-calorie food, still influence our emotional responses today.
• 🤯 Modern triggers for these instincts can be less life-threatening but still provoke a strong emotional reaction, like receiving feedback at work or social rejection.
• 🛑 The HALT acronym (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, On substances) is a tool to remember when to pause and avoid making hasty decisions based on immediate emotions.
• 📚 The Blinkist app is highlighted as a resource for concise summaries of books, aiding in learning coping skills and other insights.
• 📈 Coping skills are temporary measures to regain calm and clarity, not permanent solutions to underlying problems.
• 🎶 Sensory coping skills, such as fresh air or music, engage different parts of the brain and can soothe emotional responses.
• 🤔 Cognitive coping skills involve processing thoughts related to emotions, including writing, meditating, or practicing mindfulness.
• 🏋️ Active coping skills, like playing an instrument or engaging in humor, can provide a sense of safety and support during challenges.
• 🤝 Connection coping skills involve reaching out to others, either through physical touch, pets, or communication, to alleviate emotional distress.
• ⚠️ Dependency on coping skills can lead to unhealthy habits or addictions, so it's important to use them as a bridge to problem resolution, not a permanent escape.

Q & A

Why does the rational part of the brain shut down when perceiving a threat?

The rational part of the brain shuts down during a perceived threat because it prioritizes survival over complex thinking. This mechanism is designed to ensure quick, instinctual responses to dangerous situations, as seen in our ancestors when facing predators or the need to reproduce.

What are some modern examples of situations where the brain might enter survival mode?

In modern times, the brain might enter survival mode during situations such as receiving feedback from a boss, speaking in front of a large group, receiving a bad grade, or facing rejection in a romantic context.

What is the purpose of coping skills in managing emotions?

Coping skills are techniques used to transition from an emotional state back to a rational one, allowing individuals to think clearly and make better choices. They help manage intense emotions and provide temporary relief from discomfort.

Why is Blinkist mentioned in the script, and what does it offer?

Blinkist is mentioned because the video is sponsored by it. Blinkist offers summaries of key insights from a wide range of nonfiction books, allowing users to read or listen to the most important points in about 15 minutes.

What is the acronym 'HALT' stand for, and how can it be used as a coping skill?

HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. It serves as a reminder to pause and assess one's state before making decisions, especially when experiencing intense emotions or being in a vulnerable state.

How can sensory coping skills help in managing intense emotions?

Sensory coping skills engage various parts of the brain and body, soothing the limbic system where the fight-or-flight response originates. Examples include stepping outside for fresh air, listening to music, or engaging in physical activities like exercise or knitting.

What are cognitive coping skills, and how do they assist in processing emotions?

Cognitive coping skills involve mental activities that help process thoughts related to emotions. They include techniques such as journaling, meditation, prayer, and progressive muscle relaxation, which can provide clarity and help manage emotional responses.

What is the potential downside of using active coping skills like watching TV or playing video games?

While active coping skills can provide short-term relief, over-reliance on them can lead to avoidance of the underlying issue and may result in unhealthy dependencies, such as addiction to TV or video games.

How can connection coping skills be beneficial in times of emotional distress?

Connection coping skills involve reaching out to others, such as hugging someone, petting an animal, or talking with a friend. These activities can provide emotional support and help alleviate feelings of loneliness or distress.

What is the importance of developing a crisis plan with coping skills and support contacts?

A crisis plan helps individuals identify coping strategies and support contacts that can be utilized during times of emotional crisis. It ensures that there are resources available to help manage intense emotions and prevent impulsive actions that could worsen the situation.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Emotional Impact on Rational Thinking

This paragraph discusses how emotions can impair rational thinking, causing the brain to enter survival mode and shut down complex thought processes. It explains that this response is an evolutionary trait, designed to help our ancestors escape threats or secure resources for survival. The speaker uses examples of modern-day triggers for this response, such as work stress or social rejection, which are far removed from the life-or-death situations of the past. The paragraph introduces the concept of coping skills, which are techniques to help individuals transition from an emotional to a rational state of mind, enabling clearer thinking and better decision-making. The speaker also mentions the Blinkist app as a tool for learning and personal development, highlighting its ability to provide concise summaries of books, which can be beneficial in managing time and enhancing knowledge.

05:06

🛠️ Utilizing Coping Skills for Emotional Resilience

The second paragraph delves into the importance of coping skills in managing intense emotions and preventing poor decision-making. It emphasizes that while coping skills can provide temporary relief and calm, they do not address the root causes of problems and should not be the sole focus of therapy. The speaker advocates for the development of emotional resilience, which involves the ability to pause and reflect before reacting to a situation. The paragraph outlines various types of coping skills, including sensory, cognitive, and active coping strategies, which can help individuals process their emotions and feel supported. It also warns against the potential for developing unhealthy dependencies on coping mechanisms and stresses the importance of using these skills to return to and resolve underlying issues.

10:08

🌟 Developing a Crisis Plan with Coping Skills

The final paragraph focuses on the practical application of coping skills, particularly in the context of a crisis. It introduces the 'HALT' acronym as a reminder to pause when experiencing hunger, anger, loneliness, or tiredness, which can impair judgment. The speaker suggests creating a personal crisis plan that includes a list of calming activities and trusted contacts for support during a mental health crisis. The paragraph also touches on the potential for addiction to certain coping skills and the importance of finding healthy, long-term solutions. The speaker encourages viewers to explore additional resources for learning about coping skills and self-care, offering a course as a comprehensive guide to improving emotional health.

Keywords

💡Emotional Brain

The 'emotional brain' refers to the part of the brain that is responsible for our emotional responses, particularly the limbic system, which includes the amygdala. In the video, it is mentioned that when we are under emotional stress or perceive a threat, our rational thinking can be overridden by the emotional brain, leading to reactions that may not be in our best interest. The script discusses how to transition from this state back to rational thinking.

💡Survival Mode

Survival mode is a state in which the brain perceives a threat and prioritizes immediate survival over complex thinking. The video script explains that our ancestors would enter survival mode in the face of danger, such as running from a tiger. In modern times, the script suggests that we may enter survival mode in situations like receiving feedback at work or facing public speaking, which can trigger the same fight-or-flight response.

💡Coping Skills

Coping skills are techniques used to manage stress or adversity. The video emphasizes the importance of these skills in helping individuals move from an emotional state to a more rational one, allowing for clearer thinking. Examples of coping skills mentioned in the script include sensory coping skills, cognitive coping skills, active coping skills, and connection coping skills.

💡Rational Brain

The 'rational brain' is associated with logical thinking and decision-making, often linked to the prefrontal cortex. The video script discusses the importance of getting out of the emotional brain and back into the rational brain to make better choices. It suggests that using coping skills can help in this transition.

💡Blinkist

Blinkist is an app mentioned in the video that provides summaries of nonfiction books, allowing users to gain insights in a short amount of time. The script uses Blinkist as an example of a tool that can help individuals learn and grow, even when they are short on time, by providing key insights from various books.

💡Crisis Plan

A crisis plan is a strategy or set of steps to follow when faced with a difficult or stressful situation. The video script talks about developing a crisis plan that includes coping skills and people to contact in case of a mental health crisis, emphasizing the importance of preparation in managing intense emotions.

💡Emotionally Resilient

Emotional resilience refers to the ability to adapt to stressful situations and recover from adversity. The video script highlights that emotionally resilient people have the capacity to pause before reacting, allowing them to process their thoughts and emotions more effectively, which is a key aspect of the skills taught in the video.

💡Trauma

Trauma is defined in the video script as an event that occurs faster than one can process it. The script discusses how reacting immediately to a traumatic event without processing it can lead to worse outcomes, and suggests the use of coping skills to manage the immediate aftermath until one can address the issue more thoroughly.

💡Addiction

Addiction, in the context of the video, refers to a harmful dependency on certain coping skills that can lead to negative consequences. The script warns against using coping skills like TV, shopping, or exercise to the extent that they become addictive, which can prevent the resolution of underlying issues.

💡Self-Care

Self-care is the practice of taking actions to maintain or improve one's own health and well-being. The video script mentions self-care in the context of learning coping skills and developing a crisis plan, suggesting that self-care is an essential part of managing emotions and mental health.

Highlights

Emotional responses can override rational thinking, leading to poor decision-making in stressful situations.

The rational part of the brain often shuts down during perceived threats, a survival mechanism from our ancestors.

Modern-day 'threats' can trigger survival mode, such as getting feedback at work or talking to a large group.

Coping skills are essential for managing anxiety, depression, and intense emotions, helping shift from emotional to rational thinking.

Using the HALT acronym (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) can remind individuals to pause and assess their emotional state before reacting.

Coping skills include sensory activities like taking a walk, listening to music, or getting a massage to soothe the limbic brain.

Cognitive coping skills, such as journaling, meditation, and mindfulness, help process thoughts related to emotions.

Active coping skills like playing an instrument, humor, and watching TV can provide a temporary distraction but should be used cautiously.

Connection coping skills, such as hugging someone or talking with a friend, can provide emotional support during tough times.

It’s important to identify coping skills that work in different environments, like home, work, or school.

Coping skills should be used to calm down temporarily but followed by actions to resolve the underlying problem.

Relying solely on coping skills without addressing the core issue can lead to dependencies, such as addictions to TV, food, or social media.

Healthy coping skills should make you feel better in the long run, not just provide immediate relief.

In case of a mental health crisis, it’s crucial to know local resources, such as hotlines or crisis counselors.

The ability to pause before reacting is a key skill in developing emotional resilience and processing emotions effectively.

Transcripts

Do you ever feel like your brain falls out when  you're emotional? Do you act stupid when you're  

infatuated? or you make bad decisions when you're  scared or angry? Well, most people do. And there's  

a good reason for that - the rational part of  your brain shuts down when it perceives a threat.  

It doesn't want complex thinking to get in the way  of survival. So examples of this for our ancestor  

could have been needing to run away from a tiger  or needing to eat something high in calories so  

they didn't starve to death or falling in love  so that they could reproduce. Today we experience  

all these same emotions when things get intense,  but the circumstances are quite different.  

Our brain may enter survival mode when getting  feedback from our boss at work or when we have  

to talk to a big group of people. We may shut down  when getting a bad grade on a school assignment  

or when we get rejected by a crush. In  these circumstances, allowing the brain to  

regress into survival mode, into our emotionally  reactive limbic system is not the best strategy.  

We all need a way to slow things down and think  clearly so that we can make better choices, help  

us move through these uncomfortable situations  instead of just reacting to them. Our brain and  

our emotions are incredible, powerful, wonderful  things, but sometimes emotions make us act kind  

of stupid. In this video you're going to learn 25  coping skills to help with anxiety, depression,  

and intense emotions. Coping skills are techniques  you can use to get out of your emotional brain  

back into your rational brain so that you can  think clearly again. The other day I had a client  

who was 20 minutes late, and do you know what I  did? I read key insights from Extreme Productivity  

and half of The Worry-Free mind on the Blinkist  app. I seriously love Blinkist because I seriously  

love reading, but I also don't have time to  read all the books I want to. Now today's video  

is sponsored by Blinkist. With Blinkist you can  read or listen to really clear, crisp summaries  

of the most important points of books, and you can  do it in about 15 minutes. You can get the best  

insights from over 3 000 nonfiction books. With  this app, you could read a book a day for a year,  

but in just 15 minutes. Now I've already learned  a bunch from the books that I've read, so here's  

some books I would recommend: anything by Brene  Brown, like her books The Gift of Imperfection,  

Daring Greatly, and Dare to Lead. Atomic Habits  by James Clear. 13 Things Mentally Strong People  

Don't Do by Amy Marin. So check it out. The first  100 people to click the link in the description  

will get seven days of unlimited access to  Blinkist completely free. So you could read a  

Blink a day or more, and you could cancel anytime  you want. Or you can get the full membership for  

25% off. So seriously, check it out; you're gonna  love it. When I was volunteering in Argentina for  

a year and a half, we had a situation where we  had been working really hard to help people,  

really pouring our souls out to try to help people  improve their lives, and we were like physically,  

emotionally, spiritually giving everything we  had. One day during a meeting, one of our local  

leaders, the man who was supposed to be supporting  the work we were doing, he basically told us that  

all the people we were working with were losers  and that there was no hope and that we were doing  

a terrible job. We finished that meeting late at  night. We were exhausted, we were angry, we were  

discouraged. And my coworker called the president  in tears. We were ready to just quit in that area,  

and our leader listened carefully and he said  Hey Hermanas, go to bed. Things will look better  

in the morning. And and he was right. After  we took a break, we came back to the problem  

refreshed after a night's sleep. We were able to  go back to that leader with clarity to, you know,  

confront the issue. And we were able  to do a lot of good in that town.  

So in this video you're going to learn all about  coping skills. If you're feeling like you're in  

crisis, if you feel like you're going to make bad  choices, if you're afraid you might self-harm,  

or if you're just so emotional that you can't  think clearly, halt. Okay, this is an acronym  

to help you remember that if you're hungry, angry,  lonely, tired. Or if you're on substances or if  

you're severely depressed or severely anxious or  whatever, pause. Slow yourself down and reach out  

to the resources. So in the rest of  this video, we're going to talk about  

some of the coping skills you can use, and we're  going to develop a little bit of a crisis plan for  

the people you can connect with in case, you know,  something comes up that feels a little too big for  

you to handle in the moment. Coping skills are  activities that we can do that help us calm down.  

Many of the best ones incorporate brain and  body and don't have negative side effects like  

emotional eating or drugs do, right. Now this is  just a short list; there are hundreds of things  

that people can do to calm themselves down.  And as you may know from my previous video  

Why I Hate Coping Skills, I'm obviously not  a huge fan of relying only on coping skills,  

but coping skills really do serve an important  function in the short term. They often soothe or  

comfort us and help us calm down and make better  choices. But coping skills do nothing to solve our  

problems in the long term, and some of them if  used exclusively can be harmful. Coping skills  

help us take a break from our discomfort but  also from our life purpose. So that's why I get  

a little bugged when I hear that the only skill  someone is learning in therapy is how to cope.  

Use coping skills to get through a crisis, to get  calm, and then come back and resolve the problem.  

This ability to pause before choosing an action  is an essential skill of emotionally resilient  

people. As we develop emotional muscles, we  develop greater capacity to accept and resolve  

issues that come up for us. However, there will  be times when we can't process the whole issue  

all at once. One definition of trauma is something  that happens to us faster than we can process it.  

If we react immediately when we haven't had a  chance to work through our thoughts, feelings,  

and physical reactions, then our actions  often make things worse. On the other hand,  

if we just avoid the problem, we also suffer. So  when an issue is just really big, or perhaps the  

time or place isn't right or safe for processing,  we can use coping skills to keep ourselves  

calm or safe until we can go back to the problem  and resolve it. As you go through this list,  

it's important to find a few coping skills that  work for you in various settings. So find some  

that you can use at home, some for work, and  others for when you're in a group of people.  

So let's jump in. First, there are sensory coping  skills. These are helpful because they incorporate  

various parts of the brain and body and they can  soothe the core brain, that limbic brain where the  

fight flight freeze response stems from. These  include stepping outside for a breath of fresh  

air, taking a walk, listening to music, feeling  a comfortable texture - like a child holding a  

blanket or an adult holding a rosary - smelling  an enjoyable smell, getting a massage, exercise,  

taking a hot shower or a cold face wash,  knitting or sewing or building something.  

Now let's talk about cognitive coping skills.  These can help us process through the thoughts  

related to the emotion. So these can include  writing everything down like with a brain dump,  

journaling, meditation, mindfulness, prayer,  coloring, guided imagery, and progressive  

muscle relaxation. Let's talk about active coping  skills. These can help us feel safe and supported  

while facing challenges, right. So there's playing  an instrument, making some music, humor, watching  

a funny clip on YouTube, watching TV. So be  really careful - TV and most things with screens  

are powerful distractions that take up and turn  off much of the brain and essentially prevent  

the brain from resolving issues. So if you find  yourself getting trapped watching too much TV,  

then I would say don't use this one as a coping  skill. It's fine in the short term or even in a  

crisis, but in the long run it's not going to help  you out. Some other coping skills include reading  

a book, doing a crossword, getting out in nature,  planting some seeds, give yourself a facial,  

or expressing your emotions through art or  music. Okay, let's talk about some connection  

coping skills. Hug someone, pet an animal, talk  it out with a friend, write a letter to someone,  

or write out your difficulty in an email before  talking with them. Now, using coping skills to  

avoid our problems can create a dependency  on that activity. I've actually worked with  

people who have addictions to many of these  coping skills. So I've seen addictions to TV,  

to shopping, to food, drugs, alcohol. I've seen  addictions to Scrabble, video games, social media,  

eating, exercise, and other coping skills.  So again, the way to tell if a coping skill  

is helpful is not only if it makes you feel good,  but if it helps you return to resolve the problem.  

Healthy coping skills leave you feeling better  the more you do it. But I mean better in the long  

run. So write down three activities that you can  use to calm down when you're feeling overwhelmed  

with emotions, and try to think of at least one  that will work in a different environment. So  

work home or school etc., and then write down  three people who you could contact in case of  

a mental health crisis who are your three go-to  people that you could call if you're in crisis.  

Now if you're experiencing a severe mental  health crisis right now, please go to your  

local hospital or call 9-1-1. And I'd like you to  research for your crisis plan, you know, what are  

some of the mental health resources in your area,  so what hotlines could you use. Now for example,  

in my country and state there are a few resources.  There's the national suicide prevention lifeline  

and there's Safe Utah. Both of these allow you to  chat with a crisis counselor live either on the  

phone or through text messaging. And if you'd like  to learn more about coping skills and self-care,  

you can check out my course on on that topic. The  link is in the description. As you work to develop  

your coping skills, you'll develop a greater  ability to slow yourself down, make better  

choices, and get through those crises that do come  up. Thank you for watching, and please take care.  

This video is one skill from my 30-skill course:  How to Process Your Emotions, where I teach  

30 of the most essential skills for resolving  depression, anxiety, and improving mental health.  

Emotion processing is an essential skill for  working through intense emotions, but most people  

have never been taught how to do it. I'm putting  every single main video lesson on YouTube for  

the world to access for free. You watching these  videos, sharing them, contributing to my Patreon  

and my sponsors make this possible. If you would  like to access the entire course in one place ad  

free with its workbook, exercises, downloads,  extra videos, live Q&A's, additional short  

readings and links to extended resources, the link  to buy the course is in the description below.