The Effects of Social Media on Relationships | Mayurakshi Ghosal | TEDxYouth@DAA

Summary

The video script discusses the superficiality of social media-driven friendships, using the example of Snapchat streaks and Instagram posts. It highlights the loss of a close friendship due to reliance on digital interactions over genuine connection. The speaker shares insights from research indicating that overuse of social media can undermine meaningful relationships. They propose practical tips to foster deeper connections, such as spending quality time without phones and engaging in shared activities, emphasizing the importance of face-to-face interactions for building true friendships.

Takeaways

• 📚 The speaker spent a summer in India without internet access, which led to the loss of contact with friends and Snapchat streaks.
• 📱 Snapchat streaks are a measure of daily communication between users, and losing them can signify the end of a friendship for some.
• 👥 The speaker's best friend had developed a new group of friends during the time they were apart, which affected their relationship.
• 💬 The speaker and their best friend's conversations were superficial, consisting mostly of sending black screens to maintain a streak.
• 📷 The realization that past hangouts were focused on taking pictures for social media rather than building a deeper connection.
• 🔍 Research indicates that many teenagers face similar issues with social media affecting the depth of their friendships.
• 📊 An article by Business Insider suggests that losing a Snapchat streak can equate to losing a friendship for some individuals.
• 🧐 A Virginia Tech University study highlights how the mere presence of mobile technology can detract from face-to-face interactions.
• 🤔 The speaker questions the value of texting and social media, suggesting that over-reliance can lead to superficial relationships.
• 💡 The script encourages reflection on what constitutes a meaningful relationship and the impact of social media on friendship quality.
• 🛑 The speaker offers practical advice on how to build more meaningful relationships, including spending time together without phones and engaging in shared activities.

Q & A

What was the main activity the narrator did during their summer in India?

The narrator spent the summer in India without internet access and had a great time with their cousins and grandparents.

What did the narrator lose contact with during their time in India?

The narrator lost contact with all their friends and lost all their Snapchat streaks.

What is a Snapchat streak and how does it work?

A Snapchat streak is a number that appears next to a person's name with whom you share a snap or image every 24 hours. The number increases with the days of continuous sharing, but if either party fails to send a snap within 24 hours, the streak is lost.

Why did the narrator's best friend seem to distance themselves after the summer?

The best friend distanced herself because they hadn't texted each other in two months, and she had developed closer relationships with others who she texted more frequently.

What did the narrator realize about their friendship with their best friend?

The narrator realized that their friendship was superficial, mainly consisting of sending black screens to maintain a streak, rather than having meaningful conversations.

What is the narrator's view on the role of social media in building friendships?

The narrator believes that social media can be a great way to keep in touch but over-dependence on it can lead to the building of superficial relationships rather than meaningful ones.

What research did the narrator find about the impact of social media on friendships?

The narrator found an article by Business Insider stating that streaks are seen as proof of friendship, and research from Virginia Tech University suggesting that the presence of mobile technologies can undermine the depth of face-to-face connections.

What chemical is released in our bodies when we text, and why is it addictive?

Dopamine, the pleasure chemical, is released when we text, which is the same chemical released when we fall in love, making texting addictive.

What are some examples of superficial relationships mentioned in the script?

Examples include valuing a 100-day streak over conversation, crying over lost streaks, and wanting to be friends with someone only because of their aesthetic Instagram photos.

What are some tips the narrator suggests to make friendships more meaningful?

Tips include forgetting the phone during hangouts, setting limited phone times, engaging in activities without phones, losing streaks for the sake of friendship, and getting to know friends beyond social media.

How can one determine if they have a meaningful bond with a friend according to the script?

One can determine a meaningful bond by asking if they spend time doing worthwhile activities, feel comfortable asking for help, talk frequently, have a higher level of closeness, and if face-to-face interaction is the main form of communication.

Outlines

00:00

📱 The Impact of Social Media on Friendships

The video script discusses the narrator's experience with social media, particularly Snapchat, and how it affected their friendship during a summer in India without internet access. The narrator explains Snapchat streaks and their importance to users, sharing their disappointment when a 100-day streak with a best friend ended due to lack of communication. The script also touches on the superficiality of friendships formed through social media, where the focus is more on maintaining streaks and posting pictures on Instagram for likes rather than genuine connection. The narrator cites research indicating that the presence of mobile technology can undermine the depth of relationships and calls for a reevaluation of how social media influences the quality of friendships.

05:00

🤳 Superficial Relationships in the Age of Social Media

This paragraph delves into the concept of superficial relationships fostered by social media platforms like Snapchat and Instagram. The narrator describes how the loss of a Snapchat streak can lead to the perceived end of a friendship and how some people form friendships based on aesthetic Instagram photos rather than genuine personality traits. The script explores the addictive nature of texting due to the release of dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure and love. It contrasts this with the perceived outdated nature of face-to-face communication among teens. The narrator suggests ways to cultivate more meaningful relationships, such as spending quality time without phones, engaging in activities together, and focusing on getting to know friends on a deeper level beyond social media interactions.

10:02

🙌 Cultivating Meaningful Connections Beyond Social Media

The final paragraph of the script emphasizes the importance of moving away from social media dependence to build meaningful relationships. It provides a list of questions from Elite Daily to assess the depth of friendships and offers practical tips for strengthening bonds, such as leaving phones behind during hangouts, setting phone usage limits, engaging in shared activities, and focusing on personal connections beyond social media. The narrator encourages viewers to take action to prevent social media from dominating their lives and to prioritize real, face-to-face interactions to foster deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Keywords

💡Snapchat

Snapchat is a social media platform that allows users to send and receive temporary images and videos, known as 'snaps.' In the video, it is mentioned as a tool for maintaining friendships through 'streaks,' which are ongoing exchanges of snaps with other users. The script discusses how reliance on Snapchat for communication can lead to superficial relationships.

💡Internet

The Internet is a global network that connects devices and allows them to communicate with each other. The script mentions the narrator's experience of not having Internet access in India, which led to a disconnection from friends and the loss of Snapchat streaks, emphasizing the impact of digital communication on social relationships.

💡Streak

A 'streak' on Snapchat refers to a continuous exchange of snaps with another user, with the number of days counted next to the user's name. The video script uses the concept of a 'streak' to illustrate the superficial nature of some friendships that are maintained merely for the sake of keeping a streak alive.

💡Friendship

Friendship is a close and supportive relationship between two people. The video discusses the difference between meaningful friendships and superficial ones, highlighting how social media can affect the depth and quality of friendships.

💡Superficial Relationships

Superficial relationships are those that lack depth and are based on surface-level interactions. The script contrasts these with meaningful relationships, using the example of maintaining a Snapchat streak without genuine communication to illustrate a superficial connection.

💡Meaningful Relationships

Meaningful relationships are deep, significant connections between individuals that go beyond surface-level interactions. The video encourages viewers to reflect on the quality of their friendships and to strive for relationships that involve genuine communication and shared experiences.

💡Instagram

Instagram is a social media platform focused on sharing photos and videos. The script mentions Instagram in the context of taking pictures to post and gain likes, suggesting that this behavior can overshadow the actual experience of spending time together and building meaningful connections.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. The video explains that texting and social media use can trigger the release of dopamine, making these activities addictive and potentially detrimental to the development of meaningful relationships.

💡Social Media

Social media refers to websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. The script discusses the impact of social media platforms like Snapchat and Instagram on the nature of friendships and the formation of superficial relationships.

💡Face-to-Face Interaction

Face-to-face interaction refers to direct, in-person communication between individuals. The video advocates for more face-to-face interactions as a way to build deeper and more meaningful relationships, contrasting it with the often superficial nature of digital communication.

💡Polaroid Camera

A Polaroid camera is a type of instant camera that produces a physical photograph immediately after a picture is taken. The script suggests using a Polaroid camera as an alternative to smartphones during hangouts to encourage more meaningful interactions without the distraction of social media.

Highlights

The narrator spent the summer in India without internet access, leading to a disconnection from friends and loss of Snapchat streaks.

Snapchat streaks are a way to measure the duration of daily communication between users, which can be lost if communication stops for 24 hours.

The narrator's best friend developed a new group of friends during the narrator's absence, highlighting the impact of communication gaps on friendships.

The realization that the narrator's friendship with the best friend was superficial, based on maintaining a Snapchat streak rather than genuine connection.

The superficial nature of some friendships, where the main interaction is sending black screens to maintain streaks.

The narrator's observation that past hangouts with the best friend were more about taking pictures for Instagram than getting to know each other.

Research findings showing that social media streaks can be a false indicator of the depth of friendships.

The potential for mobile technology to undermine the depth of face-to-face interactions, as suggested by research from Virginia Tech University.

The narrator's motivation to share thoughts on the impact of social media on meaningful versus superficial relationships.

Examples of superficial relationships, such as valuing streaks over genuine friendship or basing friendships on Instagram aesthetics.

The addictive nature of texting due to the release of dopamine, the pleasure chemical in the brain.

The preference of texting over face-to-face communication among teens, as highlighted by the Huffington Post.

Strategies to make relationships more meaningful, such as spending quality time without phones and engaging in shared activities.

The importance of knowing friends beyond their social media presence, including understanding their family, likes, and dislikes.

Questions from Elite Daily to assess the depth of friendships, focusing on the quality of interaction and communication.

Advice on building meaningful relationships by reducing reliance on social media and focusing on face-to-face interactions.

The narrator's call to action for listeners to reassess their friendships and social media habits to foster deeper connections.

Transcripts

hey guys can you just all help me out of

here I'll help me out here a little I

wanted to post something on my snapchat

story so could you all just smile there

let me just put a cute filter okay and

it's posted okay

so let me tell you all the story I spent

all of last summer in India where I

didn't have access to the Internet at

all without internet I had a great time

with my cousins and my grandparents but

I lost contact with all my friends and I

lost all my snapchats cheeks as well so

for those of you who don't use snapchat

it's basically an app where people chat

through pictures a snapchat streak is a

number that appears next to the name of

a person with whom you share a snap or

an image every 24 hours and this number

increases with the amount of days that

you have sent a snap to one another but

if one of you forgets to send a snap or

just doesn't send a snap at all within

24 hours the new and your friend lose

the streak and you guys have to start

over because a lot of snapchat users

maintain so many streaks it's become

easier for many of them to do this

faster for every single day by just

sending a plain black screen to all of

the people they maintain streaks with

now back to my story so on the first day

of school I was very excited to meet

everyone especially my best friend whom

I hadn't texted or seen in two months

but a few days into school I started to

realize that my best friend had another

group of friends and I felt like she

didn't really want to talk to me anymore

and why did this happen it was because

we had in texted each other in two

months and she texted other people more

than me so they became her best friends

she was also kind of annoyed that I lost

a hundred day snap streak that we had at

this point I started to realize that our

friendship was nothing but sending black

screens to each other for a hundred days

just to keep a streak going let me give

you an example of what our conversation

looked like so let's say on Sunday I

woke up and

around 10:00 a.m. I sent her this and

then a few hours went by and she opened

my snap and she replied with this and

then the next day morning I woke up and

the first thing I did was check my phone

and I decided to reply with this and

then she probably got bored of our

conversation so she decided to change it

up a little and she replied with this

and this was basically the only

conversation that we had for a hundred

days I also started to realize that our

past hangouts were only of us taking

tons of pictures to post on Instagram

and texting our other friends about just

how much fun we were having Instagram is

another social media platform where

people share photos and videos with

their followers the followers are the

people who are able to view and like the

photos of the people who post so when I

realized that my best friend and I spent

so much time just clicking pictures and

then choosing which one to post and then

looking at how much how many likes each

photo got I was really shocked because

even though we were together all this

time we really didn't know each other

very well so I did some research on this

and I found out that I wasn't the only

one that there were other teens in a

similar situation an article by Business

Insider said that streaks were a proof

of friendship Peter Santa Anna an 18

year old living in Honolulu said if you

lose your streak you lose your

friendship Katie Clark another teenager

told Business Insider on snapchat

streaks develop a level of friendship

between people the longer your snap

streak is the better friends you are and

a fellow sophomore at DAA told me I have

21 streaks but I only chat with a few of

them on an everyday basis after some

more research I came across an article

by Virginia Tech University wherein

Shalini Mishra the leader of the tech

team the leader of the research team

said even without active use the

presence of mobile technologies has the

potential to divert individuals from

face-to-face

actions thereby undermining the depth

and character of these connections so

I'm sure I was able to make sense of

this completely I was motivated to share

my thoughts on meaningful and

superficial relationships and how social

media can really have a huge impact on

friendships apps such as social media

apps such as snapchat and Instagram

could be a great way to keep in touch

with friends and friends and family but

over dependence on these could lead many

people especially teenagers to

unknowingly build relationships that are

meaningless let me give you a few

examples of superficial relationships we

have a hundred day streak together we're

best friends we don't have a streak

we're not really that close I've even

heard stories where teens cry because a

high number streak was lost or all of

their streaks were lost sometimes moving

on from snapchat people want to be

friends with a person only because the

photos they post on Instagram are

aesthetic and not because of their

overall personality not because they're

funny sweet kind or smart and I find

this to be a very big problem so why do

people value texting so much why is it

so addictive and why is it considered

better than talking texting releases a

chemical in our body called dopamine

this is the pleasure chemical that makes

us happier there's the same chemical

that is released in our body when we

fall in love according to Fisher @al and

this is why texting is so addictive and

it gives us so much pleasure

also as Huffington Post writes talking

is considered an old-folks thing by many

teens and texting is considered to be

quicker and more efficient and for these

reasons we tend to get addicted to

texting and social media which ruins our

relationships and causes us to build

superficial friendships and stead of

meaningful ones now what do I mean when

I say a meaningful relationship it's

basically a kind of bond that is very

special it's a kind of bond that you can

share with only a few people like your

best friend or your really close friends

now I'll ask you some questions that I

got from an online newspaper called

elite daily and if your answer is

definitely a yes for all of these then

you and your friends definitely share a

meaningful bond with one another

here goes the questions when you hang

out do you spend most of your time

together doing something worthwhile or

talking about something worthwhile do

you feel comfortable asking them for

help and will they actually help you

talk to them frequently not just a few

times a year do you consider yourself to

have a higher level of closeness with

this person then you have with all of

the other people you interact with and

lastly is face-to-face interaction your

main form of communication if your

answer was an O or even a maybe then

here are some ways to make your

relationship more meaningful way number

one forget your phone - a hangout

eliminate any excuses to bring your

phone along for example meet at

someone's house so communication doesn't

become a problem

bring a Polaroid camera with you with

which you could take pictures so you

don't have to use your phone use a

landline at your friend's whorehouse to

call your driver your parents while

picking you up in this way you'll

actually be able to spend some quality

time with your friends instead of your

smartphone way number two if completely

being off the phone is too hard then

take baby steps set a limited time for

your phone when you're hanging out with

your friends and help each other out in

this way number three engage yourselves

in other activities like cooking or

baking or going for a walk or jog

together anything that doesn't involve

your phone or any other social media

apps this will also help you and your

friends make some memories together

because imagine if the only memory of

you and your friend being together was

when both of you were on your phones

we're number four lose all of the

streaks that you keep just for the sake

of having a streak rather than for the

sake of friendship or conversation ask

yourself if you really know the person

with whom you have

highest cheeks and if you would like to

know someone with whom you don't share a

streak

and lastly way number five get to know

your friends better and by knowing I

don't mean who stalk them on social

media or which angle they look best in

while taking a photo or at which time of

the day they send streaks I mean that's

good to know but go beyond get to know

their family better get to know their

likes and dislikes their favorite

pastimes remember that these tips are

the building blocks of a relationship

and they can't be done overnight

they take time to implement and if you

and your friends really commit to

following them for at least a month or

two then you'll definitely be able to

get into a habit of following them

thereafter and hopefully be able to

bring some depth to your relationship

overall it's completely ok to use apps

such as snapchat and Instagram but if

you get too attached to these it could

ruin your relationships especially your

friendships by changing your habits now

you can stop social media from taking

control over your life before it's too

late

thank you