Thomas Kilmann

Summary

The video script explores the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which assesses responses to conflict during change. It introduces five conflict-handling styles: competing, accommodating, collaborating, avoiding, and compromising, each with its pros and cons. The script uses dialogue to illustrate these styles, emphasizing the importance of adaptability and understanding the impact of one's approach on communication and outcomes in a changing environment.

Takeaways

• 😀 Conflict is a natural part of change, often arising from differing goals and desires among individuals.
• 📊 The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument helps to understand how people react during times of change through five basic conflict-handling styles.
• 🔍 Two key concepts in conflict resolution are 'cooperativeness', which is the willingness to meet others' needs, and 'assertiveness', which is the desire to meet one's own needs.
• 📚 The Thomas-Kilmann grid is a visual tool that maps out conflict styles based on the axes of assertiveness and cooperativeness.
• 🤝 The 'Competing' style is highly assertive but not cooperative, beneficial for quickly making a point but can lead to being seen as unapproachable.
• 🙌 'Accommodating' is highly cooperative but not assertive, acting as a peacekeeper but risking being overlooked or undervalued.
• 🤔 'Avoiding' is low on both assertiveness and cooperativeness, allowing one to step back from conflict, but may be seen as evasive or non-confrontational.
• 🤝 'Collaborating' is high on both assertiveness and cooperativeness, ensuring everyone's voice is heard but can be time-consuming.
• 🤝 'Compromising' balances assertiveness and cooperativeness, offering a middle ground but may appear as a negotiation tactic if overused.
• 🔄 The script emphasizes the importance of adapting between these styles depending on the situation to effectively navigate conflicts.
• 👥 The dialogues in the script illustrate how different conflict styles manifest in real-life interactions and decision-making.

Q & A

What is the purpose of discussing the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument in the context of change?

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument is discussed in the context of change to understand how people react during times of change. Conflict is inherent in change, and the instrument helps identify the different styles people use to handle conflicts, which can arise due to differing interests and goals during change processes.

What are the two key concepts introduced in the Thomas-Kilmann model?

The two key concepts introduced are 'cooperativeness' and 'assertiveness'. Cooperativeness refers to the willingness to meet others' needs, while assertiveness is about the desire to meet one's own needs.

How is assertiveness defined in the Thomas-Kilmann model?

Assertiveness in the Thomas-Kilmann model is defined as the degree to which an individual is likely to meet their own needs. It ranges from low assertiveness, where an individual is less likely to meet their own needs, to high assertiveness, where they are very likely to do so.

What does cooperativeness represent in the context of the Thomas-Kilmann model?

Cooperativeness in the Thomas-Kilmann model represents the degree to which an individual is willing to meet the needs of others. It ranges from low cooperativeness, where an individual may not be willing to meet others' needs, to high cooperativeness, where they actively seek to do so.

Can you describe the 'Competing' style in the Thomas-Kilmann model?

The 'Competing' style is characterized by high assertiveness and low cooperativeness. It is beneficial when one needs to get their point across quickly and protect their interests. However, it can be detrimental if overused, as it may lead others to perceive the individual as uncooperative and unapproachable.

What are the advantages of the 'Accommodating' style according to the script?

The 'Accommodating' style, which is high in cooperativeness and low in assertiveness, is advantageous because it helps to smooth over conflicts and facilitate cooperation. It allows the individual to be seen as supportive and helpful in achieving group goals.

What could be a potential downside of consistently using the 'Accommodating' style?

A potential downside of consistently using the 'Accommodating' style is that the individual may become overlooked or undervalued, essentially becoming a 'doormat' where their own needs are consistently set aside and not addressed.

What is the 'Collaborating' style and its potential drawback as mentioned in the script?

The 'Collaborating' style is characterized by high levels of both assertiveness and cooperativeness. It involves taking time to hear from everyone and aims to find a solution where all parties' needs are met. The potential drawback is that it can be time-consuming, which may not be feasible in situations requiring quick decisions.

How is the 'Avoiding' style described in the script, and what is its potential benefit?

The 'Avoiding' style is described as low in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. It involves stepping back from conflict when it is not seen as worth engaging in. The potential benefit is that it allows the individual to avoid unnecessary conflicts and focus on more important issues.

What is the 'Compromising' style and its main advantage?

The 'Compromising' style is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness, aiming for a 50/50 balance where both parties give and take. Its main advantage is that it allows for quick resolution of conflicts through mutual agreement, and it is flexible as it can adapt to other styles when needed.

What is a potential issue with relying solely on the 'Compromising' style as per the script?

Relying solely on the 'Compromising' style could lead to a perception of gamesmanship, where every interaction becomes a negotiation, potentially undermining the authenticity of the collaborative process.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Understanding the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Grid

This paragraph introduces the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, emphasizing its importance during times of change. It explains the concepts of 'cooperativeness' and 'assertiveness' as key to understanding how individuals react to change. The Thomas-Kilmann grid is described with two axes representing these concepts, with varying levels of each. The speaker plans to demonstrate the grid with a colleague, Damian, to explore the five conflict-handling styles: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. The paragraph also includes role-play scenarios to illustrate how different styles might respond to a change initiative, showing the competing style as assertive but not cooperative, the accommodating style as cooperative but not assertive, and hints at other styles through dialogue.

05:01

🤔 Exploring the Pros and Cons of Conflict Styles

The second paragraph delves into the advantages and disadvantages of each conflict-handling style as identified by the Thomas-Kilmann model. The 'competing' style is described as assertive but not cooperative, beneficial for quickly getting one's point across and protecting interests, but potentially alienating if overused. The 'accommodating' style is cooperative but not assertive, acting as a mediator but risking being overlooked if consistently prioritizing others' needs. 'Collaborating' is both assertive and cooperative, ensuring all voices are heard, but it can be time-consuming. 'Avoiding' is low on both assertiveness and cooperativeness, allowing one to step back from conflict, which can be beneficial for avoiding unnecessary battles but may also be seen as evasive. Lastly, 'compromising' balances assertiveness and cooperativeness, offering a middle ground where both parties gain and concede, but overuse may lead to a perception of constant negotiation. The paragraph concludes by highlighting the adaptability of the compromising style, being one step away from all other styles.

Keywords

💡Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is a tool used to understand different conflict-handling styles. It focuses on how individuals respond to conflict situations and categorizes these responses into five distinct styles. The video explains these styles in the context of how people handle conflict during times of change.

💡Change

Change refers to the process of becoming different, which can often lead to conflict due to differing needs and perspectives. In the video, change is discussed as a catalyst for conflict, necessitating the use of the Thomas-Kilmann model to navigate these conflicts effectively.

💡Cooperativeness

Cooperativeness is defined as the extent to which an individual attempts to satisfy the concerns of others. It is a key axis on the Thomas-Kilmann grid, contrasting with assertiveness, and plays a crucial role in determining one’s conflict-handling style.

💡Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the degree to which an individual tries to satisfy their own concerns. On the Thomas-Kilmann grid, it is measured along a separate axis from cooperativeness, helping to identify which of the five conflict-handling styles an individual might use.

💡Competing

Competing is a conflict-handling style characterized by high assertiveness and low cooperativeness. It involves pursuing one's own concerns at the expense of others. In the video, competing is discussed in terms of its ability to get one's point across quickly, but also its potential to make others view the competitor as unapproachable.

💡Accommodating

Accommodating is a conflict-handling style with high cooperativeness and low assertiveness. It involves putting others' needs ahead of one's own. The video describes accommodating as being helpful for smoothing over conflicts but warns that overuse can lead to being perceived as a pushover.

💡Collaborating

Collaborating is a style that is both highly assertive and highly cooperative. It involves working together with others to find a mutually beneficial solution. The video highlights that while collaborating ensures that all voices are heard, it can be time-consuming.

💡Avoiding

Avoiding is a conflict-handling style characterized by low assertiveness and low cooperativeness. It involves sidestepping conflicts altogether. The video explains that avoiding can be useful for delaying decisions to a more appropriate time but may also lead to unresolved issues.

💡Compromising

Compromising is a style with moderate levels of both assertiveness and cooperativeness. It involves finding a middle ground where each party gives up something. The video discusses compromising as a pragmatic approach that allows for quicker resolution but might not always satisfy everyone fully.

💡Conflict

Conflict refers to the disagreement or clash between opposing ideas, interests, or parties. In the context of the video, conflict is presented as an inevitable part of change, requiring effective management through different styles as outlined by the Thomas-Kilmann model.

Highlights

Introduction to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument for understanding reactions during change.

Importance of conflict in times of change due to differing desires and goals.

Definition of cooperativeness as readiness to meet others' needs.

Definition of assertiveness as the desire to meet one's own needs.

Visualization of assertiveness and cooperativeness on the Thomas-Kilmann grid.

Demonstration of the Thomas-Kilmann grid with a colleague.

Five basic conflict handling styles: competing, accommodating, collaborating, avoiding, and compromising.

Example dialogues illustrating each conflict style.

Pros and cons of the competing style: assertiveness but potential for alienation.

Pros and cons of the accommodating style: cooperativeness but risk of being overlooked.

Pros and cons of the collaborating style: balanced assertiveness and cooperativeness but time-consuming.

Pros and cons of the avoiding style: conflict avoidance but may lead to unresolved issues.

Pros and cons of the compromising style: middle ground but can appear as deal-making.

Adaptability of the compromising style to other conflict handling styles.

The necessity of using a combination of conflict styles depending on the situation.

Practical application of the Thomas-Kilmann grid in a workplace change initiative scenario.

Discussion on the importance of understanding and adapting conflict handling styles for effective communication and collaboration.

Conclusion summarizing the key points of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.

Transcripts

so now that you filled out your Thomas

kilman conflict grid let's talk about it

conflict is important in times of change

actually by the very nature of change

because of change what you want in your

change maybe over here and what other

people have been doing or what they want

may be over here and you may be pulling

at each other because you don't want the

same thing so Thomas kilman is an

interesting way for to look at how

people react in times of change and

there are five basic Styles we're going

to look at before we do that it's

important to know two new words one is

cooperativeness and the other is

assertiveness cooperativeness is

actually how you are ready to meet other

people's needs and assertiveness is

actually how much you want to meet your

own needs and let me show you this now

on the Thomas kilman

grid along this

AIS we have assertiveness lower

assertive

less likely to meet my own needs and

highly assertive very likely to meet my

own needs along the bottom we have

cooperativeness which is actually

meeting other people's needs at this end

of the grid we have higher

cooperativeness which means I really

want to meet your needs and maybe put my

needs aside and at this end of the grid

we have somebody who might not want to

meet their own needs or other people's

needs and we're going to De discover

that style now

so now that we've talked about the

basics of the Thomas kilman grid let's

Discover it on a human size and to do

that in a moment I'm going to ask my

colleague Damian to come demonstrate

this with me and before we do that let's

place the two words where they belong

first of all along the axis at the

bottom we're going to place the word

cooperativeness meaning at this end of

this style we have less Cooperative

behavior and at this end of the style we

have more Cooperative

behavior and along this side we're going

to place the word assertiveness meaning

that at this end of the scale we have

less concern for yourself and at this

end of the scale we have more concern

for

yourself hey Robert what you think of

the change initiative you call that a

change initiative I tell you what I'm

not ready to roll that out because I say

it's not good for our people it's not

good for the company and you need to go

back and figure out what it is you want

to do here I say no to that project and

I say no right now I think we need to

stop this project now

hey Robert what do you think of the

change initiative ah the change

initiative well I mean it's okay I

personally would have done a little bit

differently because I I think we could

do it differently and you know at the

end of the day it's it's not really so

much about what I want I need to put

that aside it's really what the company

wants us to roll out I really think we

could do it differently though and again

that's just my

opinion hey Robert what do you think of

the change initiative wow I think it's

really interesting I think it's great

and you're kind of an expert on this

aren't you well I'm yeah a bit of an

expert well I tell you what let's have a

team meeting I was thinking next week we

had everybody around the table and let's

take half a date no let's take like five

six hours so everybody has a chance to

share their point of view could you do

that possibly let's talk about it yeah

let's do a holiday meeting

okay hey Robert what do you think about

the change initiative H Damian did you

used to wear glasses Once Upon a Time oh

I knew something had changed about you

and robt really do want to talk to you

about the change initiative so what do

you think I just don't think now is the

time to talk about that you know what I

say I say let's come back to it when

things have calmed down could I get back

to you say I don't know the end of next

quarter I mean now is the time to talk

about it o I don't know I say Let It

Go hey Robert what do you think of the

change initiative interesting and I was

wondering if you got my email the one I

sent you a few minutes ago with some of

the stuff we need yeah no I did I did

and I particularly like the resource

sharing idea you had where we had you

know some of my people do some of your

work that that that had some Merit in my

world yeah and I what I say is let's

just split this thing 50/50 you'll get

part of what you want I'll take the

other thing that I need and we'll just

go down the middle with it well that

sounds possible I'd like to talk it

through a little bit more detail but in

principle that sounds like a reasonable

compromise great let's do

that so Robert Let's Take One More tour

around this kilman grid and this time

I'd just like you to explain to us the

pros and cons of each particular style

so we're now in the competing grid what

are the pros and cons well the comp

competing grid is highly assertive not

very cooperative and the benefit to the

competing grid is when you're competing

is you get your point across quickly and

you tell people what you want the other

benefit is that you can actually protect

and stand up for the things that are

right and that you think need protecting

the potential downfall of this though is

if you only ever compete people may not

want to talk to you because they'll see

you as a cold jerk that doesn't deserve

talking

to let's grab it here a little bit okay

this is the accommodating Style so pros

and cons of accommodating accommodating

is another wonderful style it's highly

cooperative and not very assertive and

the nice thing about accommodating is

that you actually you're the oil that

Smooths over the water you're the person

at that meeting that that helps get

things done it's a very smooth style

over the rough times the problem with

accommodating is if you only do this you

become kind of like the doormat of the

league and you need to leave your

concerns aside and you're never heard by

anybody so where to you next well let's

go up to collaborating so same question

here pros and cons are collaborating

well collaborating is highly assertive

highly cooperative and what you're doing

up here is you're actually taking the

time to hear from everybody and the

benefit is that people are heard the

downfall of this style and the

significant downfall of this style is

that it takes time and if you don't have

time you need to use a more competing

style to get the point across so what

are we go over to this one over here

which I know is the avoiding style and

um I must say I'm struggling to see the

benefits of avoiding right A lot of

people say they avoiding they're like

not happy to be an avoiding a avoiding

is a wonderful style because it's low on

assertiveness low on cooperativeness

what it means is that you can actually

make a decision you can see the bullet

coming and you can take a step back and

say do I want to fight that battle right

now and if you do you step into another

box and if you don't you take a step

back and you let it

go and finally what do we have here in

the middle we have Cooper we have uh

compromise and compromise is actually

5050 in the middle of everything

assertiveness and cooperativeness and it

means you get something and it means you

give up something at the same time and

this benefit here is you can do that the

problem though is if you only do

compromise you're going to look like

let's make a deal gamesmanship I gave

you this you gave me that now it's time

for this so you're going to want to do

this

and know that you need to use some of

the other Styles as well the other

benefit to this style is you're only one

step away from all the other boxes so

you can always adapt to everything

else and that's Thomas kilman thank you