how i came out as trans to unsupportive parents

Summary

The video shares a personal story about coming out as trans to unsupportive parents, focusing on self-care and well-being. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a strong support network, preparing for the worst, and prioritizing personal happiness and safety. They detail their own experiences with religious Muslim parents, highlighting the challenges and complexities of their reactions. The speaker underscores the need for mutual respect, patience, and the reality that acceptance might never come. The video aims to offer realistic advice and encouragement to others in similar situations.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Coming out can be challenging, especially when you know your family will be unsupportive.
• 🤝 It's crucial to have a strong support network of friends and a safe space before coming out.
• 🏡 Some people wait until they are independent and away from home before making significant changes.
• 💔 Expect the worst, hope for the best, but be prepared for a negative reaction.
• 🙏 Even religious parents can sometimes come around, but it's not guaranteed.
• 💪 Prioritize your own well-being and survival over seeking acceptance from unsupportive family members.
• 👪 Cultural and religious beliefs can make acceptance more complicated for some families.
• 🗣️ Keep communication open and honest with your supportive family members, even if it's challenging.
• 💼 Financial independence can provide the means to transition safely and securely.
• ⏳ Give your family time to process and come to terms with your identity, but don't rely on their acceptance for your happiness.

Q & A

What is a common piece of advice given to people about to come out as trans to their parents?

A common piece of advice is to have conversations about trans topics or any kind of LGBT topic with their parents first to test the waters and see how they feel about it.

How did the speaker prepare for the possibility of a negative reaction from their parents when coming out?

The speaker prepared by ensuring they had a strong support network of friends who could offer emotional support and shelter if needed. They also waited until they were financially independent and away from home.

Why did the speaker decide to wait until after turning 18 to actively pursue medical transition?

The speaker waited because physical changes from medical transition are hard to hide, and they wanted to be away from home to avoid immediate confrontation and ensure their safety.

How did the speaker's parents' religious beliefs affect their reaction to the speaker's coming out as trans?

The speaker's parents, being strict Muslims, were particularly unaccepting. The mother, who is very fundamentalist, had a very negative reaction, while the father, though also religious, was somewhat more tolerant but still unaccepting.

What strategy did the speaker use when discussing their gender identity with their parents?

The speaker initially tried to discuss their feelings with their father, who was somewhat more open-minded. When talking to their mother, the speaker framed their feelings within a religious context to try and find common ground, but this was unsuccessful.

How did the speaker manage to start their medical transition despite their parents' disapproval?

The speaker started their medical transition without informing their parents, relying on financial independence from a student loan and support from friends, and only told their father after some irreversible changes had already occurred.

How does the speaker describe their relationship with their parents now?

The speaker's relationship with their father is strained but ongoing, while their mother has not spoken to them in two years and pretends they do not exist, despite still performing some basic caregiving duties.

What does the speaker identify as a key factor in handling unsupportive parents when coming out as trans?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of prioritizing one's own safety and well-being, having a strong support network, and being prepared for the worst-case scenario.

What does the speaker believe about the role of religion in their parents' lack of acceptance?

The speaker believes that while religion can play a role, it ultimately comes down to personal choice. Many religious people can and do accept LGBT individuals, indicating that acceptance is possible regardless of religious beliefs.

What advice does the speaker give to other trans individuals with potentially unsupportive parents?

The speaker advises exercising caution, prioritizing personal safety, having a strong support network, and being prepared for negative reactions. They also stress that it is not the fault of the trans individual for being who they are.