The Big Lie About Sex - Louise Perry
Summary
TLDRThe transcript discusses the inconsistency in society's view of sex as merely a social interaction, despite its unique emotional and physical implications. It critiques the notion of 'sexual disenchantment' and argues that sex holds a special status, especially for women due to physical vulnerability and psychological differences. The speaker highlights the disparity in sociosexuality between men and women, suggesting that men, on average, have a higher desire for casual sex, which is evident in the predominantly male clientele of sex buyers.
Takeaways
- 🤔 The speaker challenges the notion that sex is just another social interaction, arguing that most people are inconsistent in applying this idea to their own lives or in policy-making.
- 🏠 The script discusses the UK's political consensus against 'sex for rent' arrangements, highlighting the inconsistency with the view that sex work is just another form of labor.
- 💼 The speaker points out the hypocrisy of parties that advocate for the decriminalization of the sex industry while condemning 'sex for rent', suggesting a double standard.
- 👥 The script touches on the emotional and visceral reactions people have to sex, which are at odds with the rational, utilitarian worldview that tries to deem sex as a mere commodity.
- 🚫 The speaker believes that the idea of sexual disenchantment is harmful, especially for women, due to the physical and psychological differences between the sexes.
- 🤰 The script mentions the unique physical vulnerability of women in sexual encounters, such as pregnancy and hormonal contraception side effects.
- 💪 It is noted that women are generally smaller and weaker than men, which can lead to a higher risk of harm in heterosexual encounters.
- 🤯 The speaker argues that if sex is not considered special, then issues like rape and sexual harassment cannot be seen as uniquely bad.
- 🧬 The script addresses the controversial topic of innate psychological differences between men and women, suggesting that such differences do exist on average.
- 📊 The concept of 'sociosexuality' is introduced, which refers to the desire for casual sex and the willingness to engage with multiple partners, and is suggested to be higher in men on average.
- 🌈 The speaker uses the example of gay men to illustrate the higher sociosexuality in men, comparing their sexual behavior to that of heterosexual men without the 'limiting factor' of women's choice.
Q & A
What is the central argument made by the speaker regarding the value of sex?
-The speaker argues against the notion that sex is merely a social interaction without intrinsic value, stating that most people do not genuinely believe this and are inconsistent in applying such a perspective to their own lives or policy.
How does the speaker use the concept of 'sex for rent' to illustrate a contradiction in societal attitudes?
-The speaker points out that all major political parties in the UK are united in condemning 'sex for rent' as illegal, yet some of the same parties advocate for the decriminalization of the sex industry, highlighting a contradiction in how sexual exchanges are viewed differently in various contexts.
What is the term 'sociosexuality' as mentioned in the script, and why is it significant in this discussion?
-Sociosexuality refers to an individual's desire for casual sex and their willingness to engage in sexual activity with a variety of partners quickly. It is significant because it is used to highlight the average differences between men and women in terms of sexual behavior, which challenges the idea of sexual disenchantment.
Why does the speaker suggest that the idea of sexual disenchantment is particularly harmful for women?
-The speaker argues that sexual disenchantment is harmful for women because it overlooks the physical and psychological differences between the sexes, which can lead to a disregard for the unique vulnerabilities and experiences women face in sexual encounters.
What is the speaker's stance on the existence of innate psychological differences between men and women?
-The speaker acknowledges that while historical pseudoscientific ideas about women's inferiority have been harmful, modern scientific research suggests that there are indeed average psychological differences between men and women, such as in sociosexuality.
How does the speaker use the example of gay men to illustrate the point about men's sociosexuality?
-The speaker suggests that by observing gay men, who are not restrained by female choice, one can see the natural tendencies of men towards higher sociosexuality, as evidenced by the higher rates of promiscuity among some gay men compared to heterosexual men.
What is the speaker's view on the impact of the idea of sexual disenchantment on the understanding of sexual harassment and rape?
-The speaker believes that if sex is not considered special or intrinsically valuable, then the unique harm caused by sexual harassment and rape is diminished, which is problematic from a feminist perspective.
Why does the speaker mention the physical imbalance between the sexes in the context of sexual encounters?
-The speaker mentions the physical imbalance to highlight the increased vulnerability women face in sexual encounters due to factors such as size, strength, and the potential consequences of pregnancy and hormonal contraception.
What is the speaker's opinion on the inconsistency of people who advocate for the view that sex work is just like any other work?
-The speaker criticizes the inconsistency of those who advocate for the view that sex work is just like any other work, as they often do not apply the same logic to other aspects of their personal lives or policy decisions.
How does the speaker address the issue of emotional responses to the concept of sexual disenchantment?
-The speaker acknowledges that emotional responses to the concept of sexual disenchantment can be inconvenient for those who try to apply a rational, utilitarian worldview, but emphasizes that these emotional responses reflect the deep-seated belief that sex holds a unique status.
What is the implication of the speaker's argument regarding the average psychological differences between men and women?
-The implication is that recognizing average psychological differences between men and women is important for understanding sexual behavior and dynamics, and should not be dismissed in the pursuit of radical equality within feminism.
Outlines
🤔 The Myth of Sexual Disenchantment
This paragraph discusses the prevalent but inconsistent belief that sex is merely a social interaction without intrinsic value. The speaker challenges this notion by pointing out the inconsistency in how people apply this belief, particularly in the context of sex work and housing laws. They argue that the idea of sexual disenchantment is not widely held in practice, as evidenced by societal reactions to sexual impropriety in the workplace and the unique harm caused by sexual crimes like rape and harassment. The speaker also touches on the physical and psychological differences between men and women, suggesting that these disparities make sexual disenchantment a particularly harmful concept for women due to their vulnerability in sexual encounters and the side effects of hormonal contraception.
👥 Sociosexuality and Gender Differences
The second paragraph delves into the concept of sociosexuality, which is the desire for casual sex and the inclination to engage with multiple partners quickly. The speaker humorously asserts that men, on average, have a higher sociosexuality than women, a point they argue is evident cross-culturally and historically. They use the example of gay men's sexual behavior to illustrate the natural tendencies of men, suggesting that without the 'limiting factor' of women, men would exhibit higher levels of promiscuity. The paragraph also highlights the complexity introduced by female choice in heterosexual relationships, which contrasts with the more straightforward dynamics observed in male homosexual relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Intrinsic value
💡Sex work
💡Sexual disenchantment
💡Consistency
💡Landlords offering rooms for sexual favors
💡Sociosexuality
💡Feminist perspective
💡Physical imbalance between sexes
💡Hormonal contraception
💡Rape and sexual harassment
💡Average psychological differences
Highlights
The idea that sex has no intrinsic value and is just a social interaction is inconsistently applied by people.
People who support sex work as a profession often do not extend this view to their personal lives or similar legal and policy issues.
Major political parties in the UK and other Western countries are united against 'sex for rent' but support decriminalizing the sex industry, showing a contradiction in views.
The concept of sexual disenchantment is not widely believed, yet it is difficult to rationalize and comes from a visceral place.
People's emotional responses to sex indicate that it is perceived as having a unique status, unlike other social interactions.
Sexual disenchantment is argued to be particularly harmful for women due to physical and psychological differences between the sexes.
The physical vulnerability of women in sexual encounters and the consequences of pregnancy and hormonal contraception are highlighted.
The push for radical equality within liberal feminism has led to a denial of innate psychological differences between men and women.
Despite historical misuse of pseudoscientific ideas, there is growing evidence of average psychological differences between the sexes.
The trait of sociosexuality, which relates to the desire for casual sex, is suggested to be higher in men on average.
The observation that almost all sex buyers are male is used as evidence of higher sociosexuality in men.
Gay men's sexual behavior is suggested as a more accurate reflection of men's natural tendencies without the limiting factor of female choice.
Survey data on gay men's sexual health reveals a range of behaviors, from monogamous to highly promiscuous.
The absence of female limiting factors in gay relationships results in some men being more promiscuous than their straight counterparts.
The complexity of heterosexual dating and marriage is attributed to the need to navigate female choice and sociosexual preferences.
Transcripts
now it is quite common to hear people
progressives in particular say that sex
actually doesn't have any intrinsic
value to it it doesn't have any
intrinsic specialness like if people
want to apply meaning to it on a
personal level they're welcome
to but when it comes down to it it's
just a social interaction you know you
can buy it you can sell it it's fine I
don't think anyone really believes that
I think almost no one actually believes
that and you can tell because people are
extraordinarily inconsistent in applying
this so people who for instance will say
that sex work is work no problem it's
just like working
McDonald's will not apply that to their
own personal lives or not even apply it
to other sort of similar issues in terms
of Law and policy so the example I give
in the book is sex for rent all of the
major political parties in the UK are
united in believing that landlords who
offer rooms in exchange for sexual
favors are are or should be breaking the
law they're all United in saying we
should have firmer laws on it this is
particularly postco because there was
sort of a rash of landlords doing this
it's the same in other Western countries
as well um these are exactly the same
parties you know like the Liv Dems for
instance condemn sex for rent and think
we should decriminalize the sex industry
it's the same thing you know it's just
Goods you know being exchanged for
sexual access it's exactly the same
thing and similarly you know people who
will again say that sex his work that
that um you know really buy into the
sexual disenchantment idea rhetorically
very upset about any perceived sexual
impropriety in their own
workplaces you know like having any kind
of
um being T you know being touched by a
male colleague being asked out on a date
like that stuff is very serious and is
not at all comparable to just other
forms of nonsexual interaction but sex
work is work you know and I think that I
think that inconsistency is a result of
the fact that actually sexual
disenchantment just isn't
true basically no one really thinks it's
true but the problem is that if you um
are trying to rationalize it all and you
are applying kind of utility brain to
the world it's quite hard to um it's
quite hard to articulate it's quite hard
to rationalize it comes from a very
visceral place which is a bit
inconvenient if you're trying to apply
that kind of you know very long iCal
worldview the fact that people have
emotional responses to things that are
are somewhat inconvenient you know but
the truth of it is that people don't
feel that sex is the same as other
social interactions people absolutely
feel that sex has some unique status
which is of course why I mean thinking
from a feminist perspective which is why
rape is so uniquely bad which is why
sexual harassment is so uniquely bad if
you don't think sex is special you can't
think any of those things have special
status either and I think that that idea
of sexual
disenchantment is bad for everyone but
it's really bad for women
why partly because of physical imbalance
between the Sexes of the fact that it's
only women who get
pregnant women have to suffer the side
effects of hormonal
contraception um women are much smaller
and weaker than men which means that any
heterosexual encounter if you've got a
man and woman Alone Together the woman's
going to be almost always the more
physically vulnerable party so there's
that kind of risk inherent to sexual
encounters that women experience that
men can't experience in the same way
there's also the psychological stuff and
that's more
controversial because the push towards
um kind of radical equality within
feminism in Liberal
feminism has also included pushing back
very hard against the idea that there
are any innate differences between the
Sexes on a psychological level and some
of that is coming from a good place it
is clearly the it's clearly the case
that in various periods in history
pseudoscientific ideas about women's
intellectual inferiority in particular
or emotional inferiority have been used
against women this is clearly true um
that does not however mean that those
differences don't exist at all and
actually as decades have gone by and
we've got more and more scientific
research on this it actually becomes
more and more apparent that those
differences do exist on average right
the on average thing is something that
people often can't wrap their heads
around well they can they just don't
want to well people can when it comes to
something like the ADV the example I
give is like you know if we say that
Germans are on average taller than
people from Spain people are like oh
yeah fine no one says oh but I know a
really tall guy from Spain that
disproves your thesis you know this is
the nature of bell curves um there are
all sorts of ways in which the certain
psychological traits differ on on the
bell curve basis between men and women
the one that's most important for my
purposes is the trait that psychologist
called
sociosexuality which is not quite the
same as sex drive you can be you know
highing one low on the other but social
sexuality is about your um desire for
casual sex basically how much you want
to have sex with a variety of people how
quickly you want to jump into bed with
someone now look I'm not an expert but
I'm going to guess men are more prone to
have a higher rate of that cross
culturally trans historically yes wow
yeah I'm a genius how did I work that
out I know how dare you know she do
things but you know yes I mean anyone
who's like got eyes and lived in the
world can tell that the clearly is that
difference between men and women even if
there are lots of outliers on an
individual level I mean just because you
know someone's sex doesn't mean you know
their level of socios sexuality but at
the population level you see it you see
it for instance in the fact that all
almost all sex buyers everywhere in the
world are male MH because obviously the
people who are is that tale of high
sociosexuality is like all men right um
there are I'm going to say them even
more controversial than you but
basically if you want to understand what
men are actually like just look at gay
men right how much sex do they have and
how many partners do they have on
average compared to the average
heterosexual man and you kind of get
like gay men are actually the real men
because they're unrestrained by women
yes yeah absolutely it's really that
simple yeah it's how men would behave if
women w a limiting factor exactly yeah
and I mean it's interesting in if you
look at the survey data on gay men of
which there's quite a lot because it
comes out of like um sexual health
research and stuff what you have is
actually like a goodish of men who are
just as monogamous as lesbians M and you
have a lot of men in the
middle and then you have a proportion
who are really promiscuous and because
there isn't the limiting factor of of
women saying no those men are way more
promiscuous than promiscuous straight
men yeah can ever be because they just
have so much more opportunity um but you
know but that but that portion of like
would be promiscuous straight men still
exists it's just they've got the
complexity of having to deal with female
Choice um which makes the whole
heterosexual you know dating marriage
scene that much more
complex
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