3 Tips Memilih Pasangan Yang Tepat oleh Ustadz Adi Hidayat Lc MA

Summary

The speaker discusses essential principles for selecting a life partner in accordance with Islamic teachings. Key traits to look for include righteousness, compatibility, and commitment to spiritual practices. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a partner's character, their ability to guide towards closeness to Allah, and understanding roles within marriage as outlined in the Quran. It is also advised to assess a partner’s dedication to family, responsibility, and the Quran. Ultimately, the speaker underscores that a marriage built on shared faith and mutual respect is the foundation for a successful, fulfilling relationship.

Takeaways

• 😀 A good partner in marriage will lead you towards goodness and closeness to Allah, as highlighted in Surah An-Nur (24) of the Quran.
• 😀 The first step in determining if someone is a good match is to observe if they encourage positive behaviors and spiritual growth, not just in appearance but through their actions.
• 😀 During the courtship (ta'aruf) phase, evaluate whether your potential partner directs you closer to Allah and helps you grow in your faith.
• 😀 Beware of partners who discourage you from maintaining strong relationships with your parents or from practicing your faith. These red flags may indicate a harmful relationship dynamic.
• 😀 If a partner is kind and respectful towards their family, that can indicate their potential to be a good spouse.
• 😀 A partner's character and traits can be assessed before marriage, as their true personality will emerge after marriage. Be mindful of how they treat you and others.
• 😀 The concept of kafa'ah (compatibility) is crucial in choosing a partner. Ensure that you are well-matched in character, lifestyle, and values before marrying.
• 😀 Prioritize clear communication and understanding of each other's values, especially regarding family roles and responsibilities, to avoid confusion or conflict later in marriage.
• 😀 Before marriage, it's important to discuss the potential challenges of marriage, such as financial matters, and establish clear commitments about responsibilities and rights.
• 😀 The role of a husband as a leader in the family, as outlined in Surah An-Nisa (4:34), should be understood and respected. It's important to distinguish between a manager and a leader in relationships.

Q & A

What is the first step in determining if a partner is the right one according to the Quran?

The first step is to observe whether the partner encourages goodness and closeness to Allah. A good partner will lead you towards righteous actions and values, such as prayer and kindness, not just outward appearances.

How does the Quran define the relationship between a good person and their partner?

According to Surah An-Nur (24:26), a good person will be matched with a good partner, and a bad person will be matched with a bad partner. This concept emphasizes the importance of compatibility and mutual goodness in a relationship.

What should one check during the taaruf (getting to know each other) phase before marriage?

During the taaruf phase, it is important to evaluate whether the person directs you towards a closer relationship with Allah and whether they respect and maintain good relations with their family, especially their parents.

How can you distinguish between a sincere person and someone who is just outwardly religious?

You can distinguish between them by observing their actions. A sincere person will lead you to prayer and obedience to Allah not just through words, but through consistent behavior and inner commitment. It should feel natural, not forced or insincere.

What is kafa’ah and how is it relevant in choosing a partner?

Kafa’ah refers to compatibility, particularly in terms of character. Before marriage, it’s important to understand the partner’s habits and character traits to see if they align well with yours. Compatibility in traits will help in the long-term success of the marriage.

What are the potential dangers if a partner lacks compatibility?

If a partner lacks compatibility, it can lead to conflicts after marriage, as personal traits and behaviors that were not apparent before can emerge. This can create disharmony, especially if such differences are not managed well.

What role does commitment play in a successful marriage?

Commitment is crucial for a successful marriage, as it is tested during challenging situations like financial issues, disagreements, or other complexities. Understanding each other's roles and responsibilities, as outlined in the Quran, helps prevent misunderstandings and fosters a strong bond.

What are some signs of a leader in a marriage as described in the Quran?

In the Quran, men are described as the leaders and protectors of the family. A good leader is someone who listens, guides with care, and protects his family, not someone who refuses to take advice or leads with a domineering attitude.

How important is the relationship between a partner and their parents before marriage?

A partner’s relationship with their parents is very important, as it reflects respect for family values. If a partner shows disrespect or negligence toward their parents, it may indicate future issues in their ability to nurture a relationship after marriage.

Why is the knowledge and connection to the Quran important for a marriage?

A strong connection to the Quran brings blessings and guidance to a marriage. A person who is close to the Quran, especially someone who memorizes or frequently recites it, brings spiritual strength to the relationship, ensuring it remains aligned with Allah’s teachings.