Making 'mum friends' ⏲️ 6 Minute English

Summary

In this episode of '6 Minute English' from BBC Learning English, hosts Neil and Beth discuss the challenges of making 'mum friends'—other mothers of children at school. They explore how these friendships can be complicated by social cliques at school gates, the pressure of 'playdates,' and the emotional strain that comes with balancing motherhood and social expectations. With insights from mum Jayne Cherrington-Cook, the episode highlights how making connections often comes down to chance, and how some mums navigate these dynamics with ease, while others find them stressful.

Takeaways

• 😀 Making friends at school can be challenging for both children and parents, especially for mothers trying to form connections with other mums.
• 😀 The term 'mum friends' refers to mothers who bond over their children's shared school experience, but making such friendships can be difficult for some.
• 😀 'Mum friends' are often formed through common activities like coffee outings, babysitting, or discussions about motherhood.
• 😀 The idea of 'mum friends' can add stress to already busy mothers who may feel the need to fit into social groups at the school gates.
• 😀 The term 'play date' refers to a scheduled time for children to play together, and it originated in the United States in 1915.
• 😀 Making new friends among other mums can be influenced by 'cliques,' or small, exclusive groups of people who may not be welcoming to outsiders.
• 😀 There are often different social cliques among mums at school, such as sporty mums and 'glam' mums, based on common interests and lifestyles.
• 😀 Some mothers, like Jayne, find it difficult to navigate cliques and feel left out, but others are more relaxed about forming friendships.
• 😀 The experience of trying to bond with other mothers can feel like a school experience again, with pressure to fit into certain groups or roles.
• 😀 For some, making mum friends is 'down to luck,' meaning it's based on chance rather than effort or skill, and sometimes connections are made when you 'click' with someone.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the BBC Learning English episode?

The main topic of the episode is about the challenges mothers face when trying to make friends with other mums, often referred to as 'mum friends,' and the social dynamics involved, including the concept of cliques and playdates.

What does the term 'mum friends' refer to?

'Mum friends' refers to the mothers of other children in a child's class at school, with whom a mother may develop friendships. These friendships often involve socializing, helping with babysitting, or sharing experiences about motherhood.

Why is making 'mum friends' sometimes challenging for mothers?

Making 'mum friends' can be challenging because many mothers feel pressure to fit into specific social groups or cliques, such as the sporty or glam mums, which can create a sense of exclusion for those who do not belong to these groups.

What is a 'playdate,' and where did the term originate?

A 'playdate' is an arrangement where parents schedule a time for their children to play together. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term originated in the United States in 1915.

How do some mothers feel about forming cliques at school gates?

Some mothers feel excluded when they do not fit into a clique at the school gates, as these small, tight-knit groups of people often appear unfriendly to those outside the group, making social interactions difficult.

What does the phrase 'down to luck' mean in the context of making friends?

In the context of making friends, the phrase 'down to luck' means that forming a friendship often depends on chance rather than any skill or effort, implying that it's not something that can always be controlled or planned.

What is the significance of the word 'glam' in the script?

'Glam' is short for glamorous, referring to mums who dress in an attractive and exciting manner. It is used to describe a group of mothers at the school who are focused on their appearance and tend to socialize with others who share similar interests.

What does it mean to 'click' with someone?

To 'click' with someone means to immediately form a positive and friendly connection with them when meeting for the first time, often resulting in the development of a strong, natural friendship.

How does Jayne Cherrington-Cook describe her experience with baby groups?

Jayne Cherrington-Cook describes her experience at baby groups as frustrating and unrealistic, as she felt pressured to engage in activities like yoga or painting with very young children. She felt that making connections with other mothers was more about luck than anything else.

What advice or perspective does Jayne offer about making mum friends?

Jayne suggests that making 'mum friends' is often a matter of luck, and that the experience of trying to bond with other mothers can feel like navigating cliques. She feels that it's okay not to fit in and that being a mum is hard enough without adding the extra stress of forced social interactions.