Why You Think You Look Bad in Photos | Teri Hofford | TED

Summary

In this empowering talk, a boudoir and portrait photographer explores why many people feel they look bad in photos. Drawing from years of experience, the speaker reveals five key reasons: 1) Our brains are accustomed to seeing ourselves in mirrors, not photographs; 2) The portrayal of ourselves may not align with how we feel; 3) Hyperfixation on insecurities can distort our perception; 4) Unrealistic expectations of photography and bodies; 5) The pressure to conform to beauty standards in photos. Ultimately, the speaker encourages viewers to embrace all angles and moments, reminding us that we are worthy of being photographed and celebrated in every form.

Takeaways

• 😀 Your discomfort with photos likely stems from seeing a flipped version of yourself, not how you typically perceive yourself in the mirror.
• 😀 Looking at your photos more often can help your brain adjust to this flipped reality and reduce discomfort over time.
• 😀 Not everyone feels confident through traditional 'sexy' or idealized photos, and it's important to find a representation of yourself that resonates with how you want to feel.
• 😀 Self-confidence in photos isn't one-size-fits-all. Your ideal image might be different from someone else's, and that's okay.
• 😀 Shifting from judgment to curiosity can help you overcome self-criticism in photos and better understand what you're feeling in the moment.
• 😀 Hyperfixating on perceived flaws in your photos (like stomach, chin, or arms) distorts your perception and makes those insecurities seem larger than they are.
• 😀 If you find yourself struggling with an image, ask yourself what it represents. Context and emotions tied to the moment are more important than the physical appearance captured.
• 😀 Photography is meant to document a moment in time, not to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. Not every photo has to be 'perfect'.
• 😀 Sometimes a photo is just a fraction of a second and doesn't define your entire existence or worth. Don't let it create a false narrative about who you are.
• 😀 No angle is inherently better than another. Loved ones don’t care about double chins or shadows; they care about the connection and the moment shared in the photo.

Q & A

Why do many people feel uncomfortable with their appearance in photos?

People often feel uncomfortable in photos because the image presented to them is a flipped version of their reflection, which can be jarring since they are used to seeing themselves in a mirror. This discrepancy can cause discomfort, though it doesn't necessarily mean the photo is bad.

How does the brain react when we see a photo of ourselves?

When we see a photo of ourselves, the brain is presented with a version of us that it isn’t accustomed to, creating a feeling of discomfort. This is because our brains are used to seeing our reflection in mirrors, which is a reversed image.

What is the importance of looking at photos of ourselves more frequently?

Looking at photos of ourselves more frequently helps the brain get used to both the mirrored version and the actual photographic version, reducing the discomfort and allowing us to accept our appearance more easily.

Why might someone feel they don’t resonate with certain types of photos?

People may not resonate with photos where they are portrayed in a way that doesn’t align with their personal identity or how they want to be seen. For instance, someone who doesn’t feel confident in 'sexy' photos might feel uncomfortable because they don’t reflect their true sense of self.

How does the speaker suggest we should approach photos that make us feel uncomfortable?

The speaker advises adopting a curious mindset instead of immediately judging the photo. By asking questions about what we’re struggling with and whether the portrayal aligns with our identity, we can reframe the experience and potentially appreciate the photo more.

What role do insecurities play in how we view photos of ourselves?

Insecurities often lead us to hyperfocus on certain features we dislike, such as a stomach or arms. This fixation can distort how we perceive the entire photo, even if the image itself is beautiful or meaningful.

Can our insecurities distort how we see photos of ourselves?

Yes, when we focus too much on our insecurities, we can exaggerate their presence in photos. This mental distortion can lead to negative feelings about a perfectly good image.

What does the speaker suggest to counteract negative thoughts about our appearance in photos?

The speaker suggests using curiosity to challenge negative thoughts. By examining the context in which the photo was taken—such as who we were with or how we felt at the time—we can reframe the image as a positive memory rather than a negative reflection.

How do unrealistic expectations of photos contribute to negative self-perception?

Unrealistic expectations about photos often lead to disappointment. People expect every photo to be perfect, but photos are simply brief moments in time and should not be judged by unrealistic standards of beauty.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of embracing different angles in photos?

The speaker highlights that beauty standards have conditioned us to favor certain angles, but all angles are worthy of being photographed. Embracing different angles helps people feel more comfortable and authentic in photos, reducing the pressure to conform to specific ideals.

What does the speaker suggest is truly important when it comes to photos?

The speaker encourages people to take photos of moments with loved ones, regardless of angles or beauty standards, because the people who truly love us care about our presence and the memories we create, not the perfection of our appearance.

How does the speaker relate their personal experience with body image to the message in the video?

The speaker shares their own experience with body image and insecurities to demonstrate how they’ve learned to accept different versions of their body in photos. This personal story serves to emphasize that all photos are valid and valuable, even if they don’t meet societal beauty standards.