How to ACTUALLY Change Your Life (Realistic)

Summary

This video discusses the importance of setting goals and developing systems to achieve them. The speaker emphasizes writing down clear goals, understanding the 'why' behind them, and staying persistent through failures. They share their own experiences of setting goals in college, failing at most, and learning from setbacks. The focus is on creating habits that make the journey enjoyable, like starting small and staying consistent. By doing uncomfortable tasks and embracing the process, success becomes more attainable. The video encourages viewers to find systems that work for them and remain patient while improving.

Takeaways

• 🎯 Setting goals provides direction and motivation, but without a plan or system, it's difficult to achieve them.
• 📚 Writing down goals helps clarify what you want to achieve and gives you a target to aim for.
• 📝 It's important to define 'why' you want to achieve a goal, as a strong motivation helps you persevere through challenges.
• 💪 Persistence is key, as initial attempts to reach goals may fail, but learning from these failures is part of the process.
• 📉 Failure isn't the end but rather a lesson. Use setbacks to understand what doesn’t work and find ways to improve.
• 🔄 Focus on creating effective systems and habits, rather than just fixating on the end result.
• 🏃‍♂️ Start small to build consistency. Making small commitments, like a 10-minute walk at the gym, can grow into larger achievements over time.
• 😌 Growth happens outside of comfort zones. Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations is necessary for improvement.
• 🎧 Find ways to make the process enjoyable, whether through music, rewards, or other incentives to maintain motivation.
• 👍 Stay consistent, learn from failures, and continue to improve systems to see progress over time.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video?

The main theme of the video is the importance of setting goals and creating systems to achieve them. The speaker emphasizes that having clear goals gives direction, but it’s the daily habits and systems that lead to long-term success.

Why does the speaker emphasize writing down goals?

The speaker believes that writing down goals provides a target to aim for. It helps in visualizing progress and keeps a person focused on what they want to achieve. It also allows for tracking growth over time.

What were the four goals the speaker wrote down as a freshman in college?

The four goals were: 1) Gain weight to reach 180 pounds, 2) Get good grades, 3) Become more confident, and 4) Learn how to do a windmill or 360 dunk.

Why does the speaker stress the importance of knowing 'why' you want to achieve a goal?

The speaker believes that having a strong 'why' is essential because it drives persistence through adversity. Without a meaningful reason behind a goal, it’s easy to give up when faced with challenges.

What lesson did the speaker learn after failing to achieve all their goals in the first four months?

The speaker learned that failure is part of the process and that it’s not really failure, but rather an opportunity to learn and improve. They reference Thomas Edison’s quote about learning how not to make the light bulb a thousand times.

What criticism does the speaker offer regarding traditional goal-setting approaches like the SMART framework?

The speaker criticizes traditional goal-setting frameworks like SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) as too results-oriented. They argue that goals should provide direction, but focusing on daily systems and habits is more important for long-term success.

What approach does the speaker suggest for building long-lasting habits?

The speaker suggests starting small, such as walking on a treadmill for 10 minutes a day if trying to build a gym habit. Over time, this small habit can grow, and the person will naturally build upon it, leading to long-term consistency.

How does the speaker relate personal discomfort to growth?

The speaker believes that growth happens outside of one’s comfort zone. They stress that it’s important to embrace discomfort, such as soreness from exercise or nervousness from talking to strangers, to achieve meaningful growth and progress.

How did the speaker overcome their fear of talking to strangers?

The speaker became a server at a restaurant, forcing themselves to talk to strangers daily. Although they were nervous at first, this experience helped them grow more confident over time.

Why does the speaker emphasize enjoying the process of working toward goals?

The speaker emphasizes that the process of working toward goals should be enjoyable, or at least tolerable, because no one can maintain a miserable routine for long. Finding ways to make the journey fun or rewarding increases the likelihood of sticking with it.