MEN'S greatest ENEMY: moving past the fear

Summary

In this talk, Dr. Orion Taban explores the concept of men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace—cowardice. He outlines three main ways men let fear hinder their success with women: fear of approaching, yielding to female emotionality, and avoiding leadership in relationships. Dr. Taban argues that overcoming these fears is essential for men to attain the relationships they desire. He emphasizes the importance of courage in approaching women, standing firm against emotional manipulation, and confidently leading in relationships for long-term fulfillment.

Takeaways

• 💪 Men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace is cowardice, which prevents them from achieving desired relationships.
• 😨 Fear of approaching women, rejection, or being called creepy paralyzes men and prevents them from expressing their true intentions.
• 🚫 Allowing fear to guide behavior leads to men ending up in the friend zone and avoiding sexual advancement.
• 💔 Men struggle to hold firm in the face of female emotionality, often folding when a woman is angry, upset, or uses manipulation tactics.
• 😢 Emotional manipulation can lead men into unfulfilling relationships as they try to please women out of fear of being alone.
• 👊 It's important for men to overcome their fear of female emotional responses and stand their ground to maintain self-respect and alignment with their goals.
• ⚔️ Men are expected to lead and initiate in relationships, and cowardice in taking on leadership roles hinders their success.
• 👫 Many women prefer a dominant, successful partner rather than an equal, contrary to the societal push for egalitarian relationships.
• 🎯 Men should confidently state their desires and lead the relationship, allowing women to choose if they want to follow.
• 👍 By resolving issues related to fear and cowardice, men can build better, more fulfilling relationships.

Q & A

What does Dr. Orion Taban identify as men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace?

Dr. Orion Taban identifies cowardice as men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace, stating that fear prevents men from getting the relationships they desire.

What are the three main ways that cowardice obstructs men's success in relationships, according to Dr. Taban?

The three main ways are: fear of approaching women, inability to handle female emotionality, and absconding from leadership in relationships.

How does cowardice manifest in men when it comes to approaching women?

Men fear rejection, being labeled as creepy, or leading interactions towards sexuality, which causes them to avoid approaching women they're attracted to.

What is Dr. Taban’s advice for men who are afraid of approaching women?

He advises men to become more afraid of not getting what they want, rather than fearing potential rejection, and to overcome their fear by taking action.

How does Dr. Taban explain men’s tendency to fold in the face of female emotionality?

Dr. Taban explains that men often give in to female emotional displays (anger, crying, shaming tactics) because they fear the emotional pain, loneliness, or guilt that might result from standing firm.

Why does Dr. Taban argue that men should not give in to female emotionality?

He argues that giving in to female emotionality is a form of cowardice and can lead to relationships that don't serve men well, ultimately causing both the relationship and the woman to be lost.

What is Dr. Taban’s take on egalitarian relationships in the context of men leading in relationships?

Dr. Taban argues that egalitarian relationships are often misunderstood, and while men and women are equal in value, they are not the same. He believes most women prefer a man who leads, rather than a peer or equal.

What does Dr. Taban say about hypergamy and its influence on relationships?

Dr. Taban claims that hypergamy drives women to date and mate up status hierarchies, meaning they generally prefer older, more successful, and dominant men who can improve their quality of life.

How did Dr. Taban's own approach to relationships change when he embraced leadership?

Dr. Taban's relationships became more peaceful, respectful, and loving when he took a more dominant role and unapologetically communicated what he wanted, instead of offering egalitarian dynamics.

What is Dr. Taban’s overarching message for men struggling in the sexual marketplace?

Dr. Taban encourages men to overcome cowardice by confronting their fears, holding the line against female emotionality, and stepping into leadership roles in relationships to achieve the relationships they desire.

Outlines

00:00

🛑 Confronting Men's Greatest Enemy: Cowardice in the Sexual Marketplace

Dr. Orion Taban introduces the concept of cowardice as men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace. He discusses how fear—especially fear of rejection, being called creepy, or leading interactions toward sexuality—paralyzes men, preventing them from pursuing the relationships they desire. This cowardice manifests as avoiding approaches, hiding sexual interest, and ultimately ending up in the 'friend zone.' Taban urges men to overcome this fear by focusing on their higher goals rather than being controlled by their anxieties, highlighting that women generally expect men to initiate in romantic scenarios.

05:01

😨 Fear of Female Emotionality: Holding Firm Against Manipulation

The second form of cowardice Dr. Taban discusses is men's inability to stand firm in the face of female emotionality—such as anger, sadness, or shaming tactics. He explains that many men, despite believing they are courageous in physical confrontations, will fold when confronted with a woman's emotions. This response, driven by fear of emotional pain and scarcity, often leads men into unhealthy relationships. Taban encourages men to prioritize their life mission over temporary emotional discomfort and to recognize that giving in to emotional manipulation leads to losing both their sense of self and the relationship.

10:02

🙅‍♂️ Stand Strong: Learning to Tolerate Emotional Discomfort

Dr. Taban emphasizes the importance of increasing a man's capacity to tolerate negative emotions from women. He advises men to hold their ground when faced with female emotional outbursts, explaining that these emotions are often temporary and will pass. He warns against making life-altering decisions in an attempt to escape difficult emotional moments, urging men to focus on long-term goals instead of giving in to short-term discomfort. Taban argues that cowardice in the face of emotional challenges traps men in unsatisfying relationships.

👑 Leadership and Courage: Rejecting False Egalitarianism in Relationships

The third form of cowardice, according to Taban, is men's reluctance to take a leadership role in relationships. He criticizes the modern narrative that men and women should be completely equal in all aspects, arguing that most women actually prefer men who lead and take charge. Taban highlights how adopting a dominant, directive role in relationships has brought him greater success and peace. He encourages men to embrace their leadership roles, dismissing fears that this approach is misogynistic or oppressive, while noting that an unequal dynamic often results in more harmonious relationships.

🎯 Resolve Cowardice for Better Relationships

Dr. Taban concludes by summarizing the three ways cowardice manifests in men's romantic lives: fear of approaching women, fear of female emotionality, and fear of leading in relationships. He encourages men to overcome these fears to achieve the relationships they desire. Taban invites listeners to reflect on whether his insights resonate with their own experiences and promotes engaging with his content further by liking, subscribing, and considering membership or consultation options.

Keywords

💡Cowardice

Cowardice is central to the video's message and is defined as a failure to act out of fear. In the context of the video, it refers to men being afraid to take the necessary actions in the 'sexual marketplace,' such as approaching women, escalating interactions, or standing firm in relationships. The speaker argues that cowardice, or yielding to fear, is men's greatest enemy in obtaining the relationships they desire.

💡Sexual Marketplace

The 'sexual marketplace' is a metaphor for the dynamics of romantic and sexual relationships, particularly how men and women interact in the context of finding partners. The speaker uses this concept to discuss how men navigate relationships with women and what obstacles, like fear and cowardice, prevent them from achieving success.

💡Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety refers to the fear men experience when considering approaching women they are interested in. The video describes how this fear often paralyzes men and stops them from acting on their romantic or sexual desires. The speaker frames this as a manifestation of cowardice, urging men to overcome it.

Highlights

Men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace is cowardice, which obstructs them from getting the relationships they desire.

Men often harbor fear about women, including fear of rejection, being called creepy, and leading interactions toward a sexual encounter.

Cowardice prevents men from approaching women they are genuinely attracted to and pushes them into the friend zone.

Feeling fear is natural, but allowing fear to control behavior is a form of cowardice, especially in the sexual marketplace.

Men are expected to approach and initiate in relationships; without overcoming fear, romantic success is unlikely.

Holding firm in the face of female emotionality, such as anger or tears, is essential for men to maintain their integrity in relationships.

Catering to a woman's emotionality against better judgment is a form of cowardice, born out of a scarcity mindset.

Men who allow fear of emotional pain or loneliness to guide their decisions risk losing themselves and entering relationships that don't serve them.

Absconding from leadership in a relationship due to fear of being seen as misogynistic or oppressive is another form of cowardice.

Men and women are different, and most women do not want an equal but someone stronger, more successful, and more dominant.

Hypergamy is a fundamental concept, where women prefer to mate and date up in status hierarchies.

Egalitarian relationships often lead to conflict, and many women prefer a partner who takes a leadership role.

When men embrace a more dominant role in relationships, they experience more peace, respect, and love in their interactions.

Standing firm in the face of negative emotions is crucial, as making life-altering decisions based on temporary discomfort is detrimental.

Men who overcome cowardice in these three key areas—approach, emotionality, and leadership—are more likely to have successful relationships.

Transcripts

I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psych

Better Living Through psychology and the

topic of today's short talk is men's

greatest enemy and I'm talking about

men's greatest enemy in the context of

the sexual Marketplace what is the one

thing that most prevents men from

getting the relationships they want from

the women they want to have them with

it's very simple gentlemen in a word

men's greatest enemy is

cowardice your greatest enemy is

cowardice everything that you want with

respect to women is on the other side of

that cowardice now I understand that

that is a very charged word and I'm not

using it lightly it's the appropriate

word as we'll see there are three main

ways that men allow cowardice to

obstruct their success in the sexual

Marketplace first they're just afraid of

women they're afraid of approaching them

they're afraid of being rejected they're

afraid of being called creepy they're

afraid of leading the interaction in the

direction of a sexual encounter men

especially young men just Harbor a lot

of fear about women and that fear is

paralyzing it prevents men from

approaching women that they're actually

attracted to out in the real world and

that fear is cowering it motivates men

to hide their sexual interest which

basically means that they end up in the

friend zone over and over again feeling

afraid is okay it's perfect ly normal

under certain circumstances allowing

that fear to guide your behavior is not

preferring obedience to your fear over

and above obedience to your Higher Goals

is cowardice for better or worse as men

you are expected to approach and

initiate in the sexual Marketplace if

you cannot overcome your fear to

approach a woman declare your intentions

and escalate the interaction towards

sexuality

it's just not going to happen for you my

dudes and I would highly encourage you

to become more afraid of that outcome

than of anything an uninterested woman

could potentially do to you check out my

episode be afraid of your fear if you'd

like to hear the story of how I overcame

my own approach anxiety now the second

way that men are obstructed by cowardice

in the sexual Marketplace is that they

have significant trouble holding firm in

the face of Fe female

emotionality a lot of men believe in the

privacy of their own imaginations that

they would have the courage to hold the

line against a hostile Force confidently

repel a home Invader or take on three

guys in a bar brawl however these same

men will fold like a deck of cards when

a woman is angry or a woman starts to

cry or when a woman uses shaming tactics

or when a woman gives an ultimatum Etc

their own evoked emotion in response to

a woman's emotionality is so intolerable

to them that they give in it's like my

guys do you really think that you could

stand up to a bunch of threatening men

if you can't handle one single woman

catering to a woman's emotionality

against your better judgment is a form

of cowardice born out of a scarcity

mentality given the first form of

cowardice already discussed it can be

very difficult for a man to get a woman

you might then think well so I can't

mess this up if she leaves me who knows

if I'm going to find anyone else who

will want me and as bad as this is It's

preferable to being alone right uh not

necessarily my brother and this is how

men more or less get emotionally

manipulated into relationships that

aren't in their best interests as they

give up more and more in a misguided

attempt to make a woman happy or at

least temporarily less unhappy remember

obedience to fear over and above

obedience to Higher Goals is cowardice

in this case the cowardice is obedience

to the fear of emotional pain heartbreak

loneliness guilt and shame over and

above obedience to one's overarching

Mission and chosen path in life my dudes

I would highly encourage you to become

more afraid of losing yourself in a

relationship that doesn't serve you than

of losing any particular particular

woman and this is because among other

things men who do lose themselves in

such a relationship often end up losing

both the woman and the relationship in

the long run anyway now before I go any

further if you're liking what you're

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thank you now I get it it can be hard to

say no to a woman when she's crying or

upset or when she's angry and critical

or when she threatens to walk away but

this is the moment to hold firm this is

when you have to hold the line in the

face of the advancing forces and you do

this because the relationship you

actually want is on the other side of

this moment you have to trust me on this

because once a woman realizes that she C

that you cannot be swayed by her

emotionality she will eventually stop

trying either because she learns that

she has to use other methods to get what

she wants or because she decides to

actually leave in order to find an

easier Mark either way your situation

should improve and the best way to

strengthen your resolve to hold the line

against female emotionality is to

increase your own capacity to tolerate

negative

emotion Let Her Cry her sadness isn't

going to kill her how can it possibly

hurt you let her pout her frustration

isn't going to kill her how can it

possibly hurt you no matter how

uncomfortable the situation is there's a

very good chance that whatever she's

feeling will be gone in a few hours why

make a potentially life-altering

decision that compromises your own

Vision just because you want to escape

that difficult moment a little faster

you're not coming out ahead on that one

cowardice in the face of female

emotionality and threatened scarcity is

what tends to trap men in relationships

that don't serve

them now and the third way that men are

obstructed by cowardice in the sexual

Marketplace is by absconding from

leadership look it takes courage to

stand up and Lead it takes courage to

say I'm going to be in charge or I'm the

head of this family and there's a very

prevalent fear among men today that any

relationship that deviates from a very

narrow interpretation of

egalitarianism is misogynistic and

oppressive and disrespectful to women

this is drilled into men's heads from

the moment they start to talk

men and women are equal men and women

are equal yes men and women are equal

before God in the sense that one

particular like being is not more

inherently valuable than another right

like all men read humans are created

equal not born equal which they clearly

are not but created equal however this

part has largely been forgotten and men

and women are equal has increased ly

been misunderstood as men and women are

the same and they are not men and women

are different and what is good for the

goose isn't always good for the gander

and while some women are more

comfortable with egalitarian

relationships it's generally not women

who get offended when I talk about

relationship inequality as a positive

it's men the truth is that most women

don't want an equal they want wants

someone better who is capable of

significantly improving their quality of

life this is the basic tenant of

hypergamy women mate and date up status

hierarchies they don't really want a

peer or a colleague they want an older

stronger more successful more

experienced more dominant man this

allows them to relax more and more into

their feminine which can significantly

reduce conflict and strife in a

relationship so don't let the loud

shrill voices of the few dissuade you an

egalitarian relationship is not what

most women actually want and it takes

courage to say no we are not going to be

at the same level in this relationship

I'm going to lead and you get to choose

whether or not you want to follow and

let me tell you in my younger years when

I was trying to give women the

egalitarian relationships that I thought

they wanted it was nothing but conflict

and drama and heartache it never worked

out the turning point in my life came

when I decided to start taking a more

dominant role in my relationships I

began to unapologetically say to women

this is what I want and this is where

I'm going and if you'd like to come

along for the ride I'd be happy to have

you and since then I have had peaceful

respectful and loving relationships it

is without a doubt the change that has

made the sing single greatest difference

in improving the quality of my

relationships in my life and it can take

balls to say that especially in today's

day and age so those are the three ways

that cowardice is standing in your way

gentlemen resolve those issues and you

too can have the relationships you want

with the women you want to have them

with what do you think does this fit

with your own experience let me know in

the comments below and if you've gotten

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