How to Actually Attract a Girl Who Doesn't Like You

Summary

This video discusses the psychology behind attraction and how to make someone like you by using subtle strategies like the Benjamin Franklin Effect and the investment equation. The key idea is to encourage the other person to invest in you, rather than you investing in them. The video also explains how scarcity, controlling your availability, and creating a sense of value can increase your attractiveness. The concept of acting as though you're already taken is introduced to further enhance desirability. Overall, it focuses on reversing common dating misconceptions and optimizing interactions for attraction.

Takeaways

• 💘 Mutual attraction is the first stage of a relationship, where both people like each other.
• 💑 The second stage is the relationship itself, where love develops between both parties.
• 💔 The third stage is the breakup, where the relationship ends.
• 🧠 The Benjamin Franklin effect states that people tend to like others more after doing favors for them.
• 🎲 Investment Equation: The more someone invests in you, the more they value you. This applies to all relationships.
• ❌ Avoid doing too many favors for a girl, as it can place you in the friend zone and make her see you as a friend or someone seeking her approval.
• ⚖️ In dating, scarcity increases value. If your time and attention are perceived as scarce, you appear more valuable.
• 🗓️ Get her availability first before suggesting plans. This ensures you know she is free before setting a time.
• 📱 Always end conversations first, even if they are going well, to leave a lasting positive impression and maintain interest.
• 💍 Acting as if you are already taken can make you more desirable, as it creates an impression of scarcity and value.

Q & A

What are the three stages of relationships as described in the script?

The three stages are: mutual attraction, where both like each other; the relationship, where both love each other; and the breakup, where the relationship ends.

What is the Benjamin Franklin Effect, according to the script?

The Benjamin Franklin Effect is the phenomenon where asking someone for a favor makes them like you more, as their brain associates helping you with positive feelings.

How does the 'investment equation' apply to relationships, according to the speaker?

The investment equation suggests that a girl will like you more when she invests in you, rather than you investing in her. The more she invests, the more attached she becomes.

Why does the speaker argue against always being nice and doing favors for women?

The speaker believes that constantly doing favors makes you appreciate the other person more, while they value you less. It can also lead to being put in the 'friend zone.'

What mistake does the speaker highlight when discussing availability in dating?

The speaker points out that being too available devalues your time and attention. If you keep asking a girl for her time and she keeps rejecting you, it signals that her time is more valuable than yours.

What is the speaker's advice for setting up a date with a girl?

The speaker advises asking for her availability first before revealing your own. This avoids repeated rejections and maintains a balance of perceived value.

How does the speaker suggest ending conversations with women?

The speaker suggests always ending the conversation first, even if it’s going well. This leaves the woman wanting more and keeps your perceived value higher.

What is the scarcity principle in the context of dating, as described in the script?

The scarcity principle in dating suggests that when your time and attention are scarce, you are perceived as more valuable, similar to rare items in a marketplace.

Why does the speaker recommend acting like you are already taken?

The speaker recommends acting like you're already taken because it makes you more desirable. Women tend to find men who are 'unavailable' more attractive, as it creates a sense of challenge.

What does the speaker caution about acting too unavailable?

While acting unavailable can increase a woman’s desire for you, the speaker warns against making her feel like she has no chance. The balance is key to maintaining her interest.