The Importance Of Being Inauthentic: Mark Bowden at TEDxToronto

Summary

In this engaging speech, the speaker explores the power of nonverbal communication and how our brains quickly categorize others as friends, enemies, or potential mates based on evolutionary instincts. He emphasizes the importance of being more 'inauthentic' by consciously choosing to engage with others, even those we are indifferent to, to uncover hidden opportunities and ideas that could change our lives. The speaker encourages the audience to step beyond their natural instincts to connect with others and to actively seek out the brilliance that may be lying dormant in those around them.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The brain makes snap judgments about others based on nonverbal cues like body language and tone of voice.
• 🐉 The 'reptilian brain' or primitive brain is responsible for these quick assessments of whether someone is a friend, enemy, or potential mate.
• 🤝 There are four categories the primitive brain uses to classify people: friend, enemy, potential sexual partner, and indifferent.
• 👫 To be perceived as a friend, one must display behaviors that trigger a positive response in others' primitive brains, such as a genuine smile and open body language.
• 😃 A full smile that builds and sustains over 3 seconds, along with eye contact, can signal friendliness and trustworthiness.
• 😉 The eyebrow flash is a universal signal of recognition and friendliness, indicating that the person is known and liked.
• 🙌 Showing empty hands, or the 'truth plane,' is a nonverbal cue that signifies honesty and the absence of threat.
• 🎭 Authenticity in the speaker's context means acting in a way that is beneficial for the audience, even if it doesn't align with their instinctual feelings.
• 🌐 People are naturally indifferent to most others due to evolutionary programming, focusing primarily on their immediate group.
• 💡 The speaker encourages the audience to be 'inauthentic' by intentionally engaging with others they would otherwise ignore, to uncover potentially life-changing ideas.

Q & A

What is the primary function of the part of the brain mentioned at the beginning of the script?

The part of the brain mentioned, often referred to as the brain stem, R complex, or the Reptilian Brain, is responsible for making snap judgments about everyone around us, determining whether we should approach or retreat based on perceived friendliness or threat.

According to the speaker, what are the four categories the primitive brain uses to classify others?

The four categories the primitive brain uses to classify others are: friend, enemy (predator), potential sexual partner, and indifferent.

How does the speaker describe the process of 'cherry picking' in relation to the neocortex and the brain stem's judgment?

The speaker explains that once the brain stem categorizes someone as a friend, the neocortex, which is more developed and responsible for higher cognitive functions, starts to 'cherry pick' information that supports this categorization, reinforcing the initial judgment.

What is the significance of the 'eyebrow flash' mentioned in the script?

The 'eyebrow flash' is a nonverbal cue that signifies recognition and friendliness. It is a universal signal that can trigger a positive response, suggesting that the person is known and considered a friend or ally.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of showing empty hands?

Showing empty hands is a universal signal that indicates the person is unarmed and not a threat. This behavior is linked to our evolutionary past as ground-dwelling mammals, where displaying the vulnerable belly area without weapons was a sign of non-aggression.

What does the speaker suggest is the default stance of humans towards new people they meet?

The speaker suggests that the default stance of humans towards new people they meet is indifference, as we are pre-programmed to be indifferent to the billions of people on the planet we do not know.

Why does the speaker argue for being 'inauthentic' in certain social interactions?

The speaker argues for being 'inauthentic' to overcome our natural instincts of indifference towards strangers. By consciously choosing behaviors that suggest friendliness, we can uncover opportunities and ideas that we might otherwise miss.

What is the main message the speaker wants the audience to take away from his talk?

The main message is to challenge the audience to be more open and approach people they would naturally be indifferent to, as doing so can lead to life-changing opportunities and ideas that would otherwise be missed.

How does the speaker use the concept of 'fight or flight' in relation to nonverbal communication?

The speaker uses the concept of 'fight or flight' to explain how insufficient or ambiguous nonverbal signals can trigger a negative response in the primitive brain, causing it to categorize someone as a potential threat or predator.

What does the speaker mean when he says 'build it and they will come' in the context of authenticity?

The speaker uses the phrase 'build it and they will come' to illustrate that if he were to act in a completely authentic manner, driven by his instinctual feelings, he would not be willing to present in front of a large audience, as it goes against his natural instincts for self-preservation.