Matt's Story
Summary
TLDRThe speaker recounts their journey with mental health, starting with feelings of normalcy and occasional depression, which escalated during a study abroad in Scotland. After experiencing a severe depressive episode and a manic one post-college, they sought hospitalization and began medication. Initially advised to keep their bipolar diagnosis private due to societal stigma, they eventually found acceptance and support among new friends in California. This acceptance led to a profound realization that mental illness should not be a source of shame. The speaker's story concludes with a newfound pride in their bipolar identity and a commitment to living a healthier, happier life while advocating for others.
Takeaways
- 🌍 The individual initially experienced depression during a study abroad in Scotland, highlighting the impact of a new environment on mental health.
- 😔 A deep sense of embarrassment about their depression led to a reluctance to share their struggles with others.
- 💔 A breakup in college triggered the first manic episode, indicating a potential link between emotional stress and bipolar symptoms.
- 🏥 Hospitalization and medication were crucial in stabilizing the individual's condition, emphasizing the importance of professional help in managing mental health crises.
- 🤫 The individual was advised not to disclose their bipolar disorder due to societal stigma, reflecting the challenges faced by those with mental health conditions.
- 😞 The stigma and shame associated with bipolar disorder led to a worsening of depressive symptoms and thoughts of suicide.
- 🤝 Moving to California and opening up about their condition to new roommates resulted in acceptance and support, demonstrating the power of understanding and community.
- 🌟 Joining the bipolar community and embracing the disorder as part of their identity helped the individual regain self-confidence and reduce feelings of shame.
- 💊 Medication and therapy, along with social support, played a significant role in the individual's recovery and overall well-being.
- 🌈 The journey towards acceptance and advocacy inspired the individual to live a happier, healthier life and to help others do the same, showcasing the potential for personal growth and resilience.
Q & A
What did the speaker consider normal during their early life?
-The speaker considered themselves normal, feeling like just one of the guys, despite having some depressive and anxious thoughts.
What event triggered the speaker's deep depression?
-The speaker's deep depression was triggered during their study abroad experience in Scotland, being away from friends and family in a new culture.
Why did the speaker initially hide their depression?
-The speaker felt embarrassed about their depression and did not want others to know, so they hid it from everyone, including friends and family.
What triggered the speaker’s first manic episode?
-The speaker’s first manic episode was triggered by a breakup with their first serious girlfriend around the time of their college graduation.
How did the speaker describe the manic episode during graduation?
-The speaker described feeling euphoric, energized, grandiose, delusional, and paranoid, and these feelings lasted six days without sleep.
How did the speaker seek help during their manic episode?
-With the help of their friends and family, the speaker decided to go to the hospital, where they stayed for five days and were stabilized on medication.
Why did the speaker initially not tell anyone about their bipolar disorder?
-The speaker was specifically told not to tell anyone about their bipolar disorder due to fears of discrimination and stigma, leading them to feel ashamed.
What helped the speaker feel better over time?
-The speaker gradually adjusted their medication with the help of a doctor, which improved their mental health over time.
What was the speaker's experience like after moving to Sacramento?
-The speaker was nervous but excited about the move. After telling their new roommates about their bipolar disorder, they were pleasantly surprised by their acceptance.
How did joining the bipolar community impact the speaker’s recovery?
-Joining the bipolar community helped the speaker feel less alone, regain their self-confidence, and fully accept their disorder as part of who they are.
Outlines
🌏 Struggling with Mental Health Abroad
The speaker initially perceived themselves as 'normal' with occasional depressive and anxious thoughts, which they believed were common. However, their study abroad experience in Scotland, being in a new culture and away from friends and family, triggered a profound depression. Despite recognizing the issue, they chose to hide it due to embarrassment. This struggle continued through their senior year, and a breakup further exacerbated their condition, leading to a manic episode characterized by euphoria, energy, and eventually delusions and paranoia. With the support of friends and family, they sought hospitalization and began medication, but were advised to keep their bipolar disorder a secret due to societal stigma.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Depression
💡Anxiety
💡Manic Episode
💡Bipolar Disorder
💡Stigma
💡Medication
💡Therapy
💡Acceptance
💡Community
💡Recovery Process
💡Helping Others
Highlights
Individual initially perceived themselves as 'normal' with occasional depressive and anxious thoughts.
Deep depression was triggered during a study abroad experience in Scotland, away from familiar surroundings.
Feeling of embarrassment due to depression led to concealment from others.
Depression persisted through senior year, becoming evident to friends and family despite attempts to hide it.
A breakup in college triggered the first manic episode, characterized by euphoria, energy, and delusions.
A week of no sleep and delusional behavior led to a hospitalization.
After five days in the hospital, the individual was stabilized on medication.
Advised not to disclose bipolar disorder due to societal stigma and discrimination.
Experiencing a deeper depression post-disclosure advice, with suicidal thoughts.
Adjusting medication with a doctor helped improve the individual's condition.
A job transfer to California provided an opportunity for a fresh start.
Revealing bipolar disorder to new roommates was met with acceptance and support.
Education on bipolar disorder by friends helped normalize the individual's perception of their condition.
Realization that stigma and discrimination are not as pervasive as previously thought.
Joining the bipolar community provided a sense of belonging and reduced feelings of isolation.
The individual embraced their bipolar identity, viewing it as a part of who they are.
Recovery process inspired a happier and healthier lifestyle, with a desire to help others.
Transcripts
growing up I always considered myself
normal just one of the guys I had some
depressive and anxious thoughts but I
just thought everybody
did the real deep depression didn't come
until my study abroad experience in
Scotland being in an entirely new
culture away from all my friends and
family triggered a much deeper
depression than I had ever
experienced I knew something was wrong
was going on in my head but I felt
embarrassed by my depression so I hit it
from
everybody my depression continued
throughout my senior year I still
continued to hide my depression from
everyone but it was apparent to my
friends and
family a breakup with my first serious
girlfriend at the end of college
triggered my first manic episode during
the week of graduation I felt euphoric
energized grandios and eventually
delusional and paranoid this feeling
lasted 6 days without any sleep luckily
with the help of my friends and family I
made the decision to go to the hospital
after 5 days in the hospital I was
stabilized on meds but certainly not
feeling completely better I had been
specifically told to not tell anyone
about my bipolar because of the
discrimination and stigma of mental
illness I felt ashamed of my disorder
and didn't tell anyone I fell into a
deeper depression than I had before I
often found myself trying to stop the
anxious thoughts of
suicide it was very difficult but with
time I began to adjust my medication
with my doctor and and feel
better in January of 2012 7 months after
I had gotten out of the hospital my
company transferred me from moester
Massachusetts to Sacramento
California while the move made me
completely uneasy and nervous I was also
excited to start
fresh within the first few days of
hanging out with my new roommates I had
told them about my bipolar disorder to
my surprise they were completely
accepting it's been a fantastic
experience educa ating my friends about
bipolar disorder and they taught me how
I am still perfectly normal even with
mental illness The Experience showed me
that the stigma and discrimination
doesn't exist in the world nearly as
severely as I thought while the
medication and therapy helped me feel
better my acceptance of the disorder
became complete when I became part of
the bipolar Community I felt like I
wasn't all alone in this fight anymore
and started to get back my
self-confidence I no longer carried my
bipolar as something to be ashamed or
embarrassed by I am proud to be bipolar
it's just part of who I am my genetics I
can't do anything about that besides
just live my life to the best of my
ability my recovery process has inspired
me to live a happier healthier life and
help others do the
same
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