The One Trait That Makes Guys Extremely Attractive - Sara Saffari

Summary

In this insightful discussion, the focus is on the dating habits and maturity levels of Generation Z males, particularly those aged 22 to 27. The conversation delves into their priorities, often centered around socializing and partying, and speculates on the impact of location, hinting that the LA lifestyle might play a role. The concept of 'slow life strategy' is introduced, noting a trend where Gen Z delays traditional milestones like driving and living independently. The dialogue also touches on the importance of ambition and motivation in potential partners, and the challenges faced by young women in defining their femininity in a world heavily influenced by social media. The conversation raises questions about the future of relationships and personal growth in the digital age.

Takeaways

• 🧑‍🎓 The speaker feels that there is a significant amount of personal growth that occurs for men between the ages of 22 and 27, with 22-year-olds often not being mature enough for serious relationships.
• 🤔 The speaker is self-aware, acknowledging their own maturity and comparing it to the perceived immaturity of their male peers who are more focused on socializing and partying.
• 🏙️ The influence of location, such as LA, is considered as a factor that might contribute to the lifestyle choices of young men, suggesting that the scene might be different in less urban areas.
• 📊 There's a reference to the 'slow life strategy' trend among Gen Z, which involves delaying traditional milestones and exhibiting less risk-taking behavior compared to previous generations.
• 🚸 The COVID-19 pandemic is speculated to have potentially contributed to a more isolated and less adventurous attitude among young people.
• 💪 The speaker values ambition, drive, and motivation in a partner, seeing these traits as attractive and indicative of a healthy, growth-oriented relationship.
• 🤝 The ideal partner, according to the speaker, is someone who is not only attractive but also admirable, embodying a blend of attraction and role-model qualities.
• 👩‍🍳 There's a societal expectation for women to perform traditional roles such as cooking and cleaning, which the speaker resists, reflecting on the pressures and stereotypes associated with femininity.
• 📱 Social media is criticized for complicating the understanding of femininity and body image, with the speaker noting the discrepancy between online portrayals and real-life expectations.
• 🌟 The script touches on the fallibility of public figures who are held up as role models, highlighting the contrast between their public image and private behavior.

Q & A

What age group does the speaker feel is still growing and maturing?

The speaker feels that men aged 22 to 27 are still growing and maturing.

What does the speaker believe many young men prioritize at this age?

The speaker believes that many young men prioritize friends, partying, and going out, which includes drinking.

Does the speaker think this behavior is specific to Los Angeles?

The speaker wonders if this behavior might be specific to Los Angeles and suggests that it might be different in a rural town in Kansas.

What is the 'slow life strategy' mentioned in the script?

The 'slow life strategy' refers to Gen Z delaying traditional milestones such as getting a driver's license, moving out, and starting a job, and also not engaging in risky behaviors like partying, drinking, or taking drugs.

How does the speaker feel about the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on the younger generation?

The speaker speculates that the pandemic may have contributed to a pushback in traditional milestones and a more isolated, hermit-like lifestyle for young people during their formative years.

What qualities does the speaker find attractive in a partner?

The speaker finds motivation, dedication, drive, and ambition attractive in a partner, as well as competence.

What role does the speaker think traditional household chores play in relationships?

The speaker suggests that a lack of willingness to do traditional household chores might be associated with non-traditional relationships and a less feminine image.

How does the speaker view the influence of social media on young women's perception of femininity?

The speaker believes that social media has complicated the understanding of femininity for young women, as it often showcases extremes like sex symbols or unrealistic beauty standards.

What challenges does the speaker observe in young women finding their role in the world?

The speaker observes that young women face challenges in deciding whether to adopt traditional roles or more modern, liberated lifestyles, which can be confusing due to mixed messages from role models and social media.

How does the speaker feel about the authenticity of some public figures who portray themselves as virtuous?

The speaker is skeptical about the authenticity of public figures who grandstand their virtue, suggesting that actions are less visible than words online, and that those who are the most forthcoming about being virtuous may have something to hide.

What is the promotion mentioned at the end of the script for?

The promotion at the end of the script is for Cozy Earth, offering a discount on their premium bedding and loungewear, which are made from sustainable bamboo and are designed for comfort and durability.

Outlines

00:00

👦 Maturity and Priorities of Gen Z Men

The speaker discusses the perceived immaturity of men in their early to mid-20s, suggesting that they prioritize socializing and partying over more mature pursuits. They mention a potential regional influence, such as LA, on these behaviors. The conversation shifts to the 'slow life strategy' observed in Gen Z, where individuals are delaying traditional milestones like getting a driver's license, moving out, and starting a job. The speaker also touches on the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on social development and the potential long-term effects on young adults' growth and maturity. They emphasize the attractiveness of ambition, drive, and motivation in a partner, suggesting that these traits are 'sexy' and lead to a strong attraction when combined with admiration.

05:02

👩 Femininity and Role Models in the Digital Age

The discussion in this paragraph revolves around the challenges young women face in defining their femininity in a world heavily influenced by social media. The speaker notes the dichotomy of images portrayed by women online, ranging from sex symbols to body positivity advocates, and how these can create confusion about what constitutes feminine strength and success. They also express disappointment in public figures who are seen as role models but later reveal controversial or contradictory behaviors, using Lizzo and Ellen DeGeneres as examples. The conversation highlights the complexity of finding genuine role models and the impact of social media on shaping societal expectations and individual self-perception.

Keywords

💡Gen Z

Gen Z refers to the demographic cohort following Millennials, those born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s. In the script, the discussion revolves around the behaviors and attitudes of Gen Z males, particularly in the context of maturity and lifestyle choices. The speaker notes that Gen Z individuals are delaying traditional milestones and exhibiting a different approach to life compared to previous generations.

💡Maturity

Maturity, in this context, refers to the level of emotional and psychological development in young adults. The script discusses the perceived lack of maturity in 22-year-old men, suggesting they are not yet ready for serious commitments or responsibilities, often being more focused on socializing and leisure activities.

💡Prioritizing

The concept of prioritizing in the script is used to describe what young men value most in their lives. It is mentioned that they tend to prioritize friendships and social activities such as partying and drinking, which might be indicative of a 'younger mindset' and a delay in adopting more traditional adult roles.

💡Risk Aversion

Risk aversion is highlighted as a characteristic of Gen Z, suggesting they are less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as excessive partying, drinking, or drug use compared to previous generations. This is part of a broader trend where Gen Z individuals are delaying certain adult milestones and exhibiting a cautious approach to life.

💡Slow Life Strategy

The 'Slow Life Strategy' mentioned in the script refers to a trend where Gen Z individuals are taking a more measured and cautious approach to life, delaying traditional milestones such as getting a driver's license, moving out, or starting a career. This strategy is seen as a response to various social and economic factors, including the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic.

💡Motivation

Motivation is described as a highly attractive quality in a partner. The speaker values individuals who are dedicated and work towards self-improvement in various aspects of life, whether it's through work, fitness, or personal development. This体现了 the importance of ambition and drive in forming relationships and personal growth.

💡Femininity

Femininity, in the context of the script, refers to the set of attributes, behaviors, and roles typically associated with women. The discussion touches on the challenges faced by young women in defining their femininity in a world where traditional roles are being questioned and social media often presents unrealistic standards.

💡Role Models

Role models are individuals who are looked up to for inspiration or guidance. The script discusses the complexities of role models, particularly in the context of celebrities who may publicly advocate for certain values but privately behave in ways that contradict those values. This highlights the challenges in finding authentic and consistent role models.

💡Social Media Influence

Social media influence is a significant theme in the script, as it shapes how young people perceive beauty, success, and social norms. The discussion points out the pressure and confusion that social media can create, especially for young women trying to navigate their identity and place in society.

💡Traditional Household Roles

Traditional household roles refer to the division of labor within a home, typically with women taking on tasks like cooking and cleaning. The script discusses the changing attitudes towards these roles, with some individuals resisting traditional expectations and advocating for more equitable distribution of household responsibilities.

Highlights

Discussion on the maturity levels of Generation Z males, particularly between the ages of 22 to 27.

Observation that 22-year-old men might not be as mature as their age might suggest.

The interviewee's self-assessment as being mature for their age and the perceived immaturity of their male peers.

Prioritization of friends, partying, and social activities by young men, possibly influenced by the LA culture.

The 'slow life strategy' of Generation Z, characterized by delayed milestones and risk-averse behavior.

The potential impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on the social and developmental behaviors of young adults.

The importance of motivation, dedication, and ambition in a partner as attractive qualities.

The desire for a partner who is both attractive and admirable, creating a potent combination for attraction.

The challenge for young women in finding their role and expression of femininity in the modern world.

The influence of social media on the perception of femininity and body image.

The complexity of finding role models in a world where public personas may not align with private actions.

The potential for a disconnect between online virtue signaling and real-world behavior.

The role of traditional household tasks in defining gender roles and expectations in relationships.

The perception of women who do not engage in traditional domestic roles and the societal judgments that follow.

The advertisement for Cozy Earth, promoting high-quality bedding for a better sleep experience.

Oprah's endorsement of Cozy Earth as one of her favorite things, highlighting the product's quality and comfort.

Transcripts

like what what a gen Zed guys like the

ones that you either grew up with or

sometimes try and speak to with regards

to dating or or anything what how do you

categorize them how do you classify them

I feel like there's a lot of growing to

do from the ages of from the age of 22

to like 27 for men and I think you know

22 year old men just aren't there yet

necessarily and I think that I am I'm

pretty mature for my age

um

and I think the guys that I've counted

for the most part just aren't there yet

they're just immature maybe caught up

with

kind of a younger mindset yeah so what

are they doing like what are they

what are they prioritizing what are they

concerned about I think they prioritize

friends a good amount which isn't a bad

thing I'm just saying friends a lot

partying going out you know drinking

I wonder how much of that's an LA thing

I think a good amount of it might be an

LA thing I think if you go like to a

rural rural town in Kansas maybe it's

not as much yeah

have you heard of slow life strategy do

you know about this low life strategy

yeah so there's a

it seems at the moment based on the data

that

gen Zed both guys and girls a little bit

younger than you

um you would probably be at the very

front of this wave

um getting a driver's license later

moving out of home later uh getting a

job later not partying as much not

drinking as much not taking drugs so

they've got generalized risk aversion

they're not doing the risky things that

previous generations of that age would

but they're also not even really doing

the adult things like the number of

16 to 20 year olds who don't have a

driver's license is the highest ever

really you think covet had a like a

pushback in that maybe maybe it could be

that people just became more isolated

stopped if that's your formative yours

if you're

15 and coveted hits and you're 18 and

covered finishes you've just grown up

all you can remember basically being the

person that you are is this hermit at

home playing fortnite or whatever yeah

um

but what it makes me think about is

what when these people do need to grow

up you mentioned young guys could do

with maybe growing up a little bit more

quickly yeah if they want a chance and

it makes me wonder whether that's going

to keep getting pushed further and

further not

I don't know it's uh

I think for me one of the biggest

turn-ons or pluses a guy can have is

being motivated or like dedicated to

something even if that's Plumbing you

know just something that like every day

you want to do and work towards to being

better at you know whether that's the

gym or

a job like Plumbing or being a dentist

or being an astronaut like whatever you

know just something to work towards

rather than just kinda

laying back and like kicking your feet

up and just enjoying day by day I think

it's like that's great and everything

but I think you have to have something

that every day you're trying to improve

drive and motivation and ambition I

think are very sexy and competence as

well yeah like if you can manage to hit

the sweet spot with a partner of someone

who you are attracted to but you admire

as well

holy like you've got a a partner that's

your role model yeah that's an

unbelievably potent cocktail I think for

attraction

um

I didn't I it's so strange to think

about

what that is for girls because you know

guys can just go out and get their drive

and and do the things that typically are

sort of masculine traits be very

interested in what the equivalent is for

a girl you know like what is it that a

guy would find in feminine traits that

they want to absorb into themselves do

you know what I mean I don't know one

time I was on Brad's part and I was like

oh like I don't cook or clean and then

everyone was like I still don't live

those comments down I'm like okay I've

been practicing now but I will never

live those comments down like oh like

why would you ever want her she can't

cook or clean Jesus Christ we just get

made like you don't need a wife you need

a maid yeah I was like bro I'm not gonna

I mean I don't think I could ever see

myself doing someone else's laundry

maybe my mother's but my partners never

well you just need to earn a bit more

money and then you can pay the maid

today yeah I'm like bro I'll pay someone

to do it I wasn't opposed to a house

Chef so I think I think I think part of

that is is that they associate a lack of

willingness to do traditional household

things with uh

non-traditional relationship that is

just not going to be as as enjoyable

it's a less feminine uh sort of woman

yeah and the polarity between

masculinity and femininity what the

subtext is I'm not doing the washing

you are yeah right which is and guys are

like oh yeah exactly if you're not doing

it I'm definitely not doing it yeah

right so I do understand and I do think

you know there's lots of talk about

masculinity and and stuff like that what

about the other side of the fence are

you seeing challenges that young girls

have with femininity at the moment of

like finding their role within the world

whether they should be a Trad wife or a

like a sex positive sleep around girl

party girl whether it should be a hermit

I don't know I think it's hard

especially with social media and like

most of the girls you see on social

media are like

you know there's there's two sides of it

of course but there's a lot of like

um like sex symbols you see on social

media or even if it's not like sex

symbols you see like these hot beautiful

girls that may or may not have had work

done but in swimsuits or whatever and

for a lot of people it's hard to like

you would never get there but like

that's who you see on a daily basis on

your phone so that's that's what you

want or that's what you want to strive

towards but

yeah so I think it's hard to say what

kind of

what ex like extent to femininity girls

look for but I think it social media

hasn't made it easier it's confusing

it's confusing for sure and look at some

of the role models that were held up as

okay so this is really really where you

know this is someone that's charging

forward and really getting it right

lizzo fighting for girls all over the

place yeah and then the bottom falls out

and it turns out that she's making her

dancers eat bananas out of strippers

vaginas yeah weight shaming all of the

people as this Champion for body

positivity and Ellen DeGeneres as well

turns out that she's a total prick to

work with

um

yeah it's like and it's the people that

you would think that were like the most

understanding that turned out to not be

I don't know whether it's people that

you would think I think it's people that

portrayed themselves yeah correct yeah

people that portrayed themselves to be

like the most understanding or accepting

of everyone

it's like the senator that's pushing the

hardcore anti-gay legislation that goes

home and secretly watches

right VPN right yeah

um it's I I think it's fascinating and

there's a part of that you know the

because people's actions are way less

visible than their words online like the

thing that you tweet is way more

important than the thing that you did

because no one sees the thing that you

did but they see the thing tweeted yep

so when you look at the people that are

the most forthcoming

about being virtuous or morally

grandstanding or I'm holier than now

when you see that that to me a lot of

the time signals

there's probably something going on

there unless I can really really prove

it and I didn't see it with lizzo not

that I like a lizzo scholar

um but lizzo fan yeah I I didn't look at

her and see

yeah this is someone who's really

working hard to try and find the next

like Frontier for a female body

empowerment or something like that it

seemed like someone doing a grift it

seemed like someone that had managed

they managed to capture a particular

narrative and was just leaning into it

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