Here is what we've been hiding from you...
Summary
TLDRIn this heartfelt video, content creator 'Pamat' and her boyfriend Edward open up about the struggles they faced during the first years of their relationship, including cultural differences and the pressure of maintaining a long-distance relationship. They candidly share their initial decision to keep their relationship private due to Edward's work situation and the challenges of balancing public perception with personal privacy. The couple discusses how they overcame these obstacles, emphasizing the importance of communication and self-improvement. They also reflect on the role of social media in their lives, highlighting the contrast between the curated online image and the reality of their journey.
Takeaways
- 😀 The couple, Piam and Edward, have been dating for three years and have kept their relationship private initially.
- 🎭 Edward is part of a group called Cantomando, and being the first to start dating in the group influenced their decision to keep the relationship low-key.
- 🌐 They experienced a long-distance relationship in the first year, which limited their opportunities to share moments on social media.
- 🤳 Edward prefers to keep his private life separate from social media, which initially caused tension as Piam felt more open about their relationship.
- 💔 They faced cultural differences that led to misunderstandings and disagreements, especially regarding expectations in their relationship.
- 👥 Both partners had to learn and communicate about each other's cultural expectations, which was a significant challenge early in their relationship.
- 😢 They considered breaking up due to the struggles, particularly the unmet expectations and cultural clashes.
- 🏡 Interestingly, family dynamics and religion were not issues for them, and they got along well with each other's parents.
- 📱 Social media only shows a partial truth, and they want to use their platform to share both the positive and negative aspects of their relationship.
- 🎥 Piam enjoys creating content, but the pressure to film during travels can sometimes detract from the experience.
Q & A
Why did the couple initially keep their relationship a secret?
-They kept their relationship a secret initially due to Edward's work situation as part of a group called Cantomando, the challenges of being in a long-distance relationship, and their personal preference for keeping private life separate from social media.
How long have Pama and Edward been dating?
-Pama and Edward have been dating for 3 years.
What is the name of the group Edward is a part of?
-Edward is a part of a group called Cantomando.
How did cultural differences affect their relationship?
-Cultural differences affected their relationship by causing misunderstandings and disagreements over expectations and what is considered acceptable behavior, especially in the early stages of their relationship.
What is an example of a cultural difference that caused a conflict between them?
-An example of a cultural difference causing conflict was Edward's interaction with girls he had a past with on social media, which was perceived differently due to their cultural backgrounds.
Why did Pama feel bothered by not being public about their relationship?
-Pama felt bothered because she felt like she was being public about their relationship, while Edward was keeping it more private, which felt secretive to her.
What is Edward's perspective on social media sharing of personal life?
-Edward prefers to keep his private life separate from social media and is not a big fan of sharing private things with everyone.
How do they view social media in terms of representing their relationship?
-They view social media as showing only one side of the truth, mainly the positive moments and accomplishments, without showing the struggles and negative aspects they've been through.
What was one of the major struggles they faced in their relationship?
-One of the major struggles they faced was dealing with cultural differences and the expectations they had of each other, which led to some rough times and even considerations of breaking up.
How do they plan to use their social media platform moving forward?
-They plan to use their social media platform to inspire couples like them by being transparent about their story, showcasing the beauty of Arab and Chinese cultures, and ensuring every video has a purpose.
What was the turning point that made them decide to share their relationship with the public?
-The turning point was when they felt comfortable and realized that sharing their relationship could inspire others and provide a more complete picture of their lives together.
How did they handle the judgment from others regarding their cultural differences?
-They handled judgment by keeping their struggles private and learning to communicate more effectively about their expectations and cultural norms to better understand each other.
What role does social media play in their life as content creators?
-Social media plays a significant role as it is a tool for them to keep track of their life, create content, and share their experiences, but it also comes with challenges like balancing filming and enjoying real-life moments.
Outlines
😀 Secret Start to a Public Romance
In this paragraph, the couple, Pama and Edward, reveal their initial decision to keep their relationship a secret due to Edward's work situation as part of a group called Cantomando. They explain the challenges they faced in the early stages of their relationship, including cultural differences and the complexities of being in a long-distance relationship. They also discuss the importance of sharing about their relationship on social media and how it was a point of contention for Pama, who felt like she was being more public about their relationship than Edward. The couple shares their journey from being secretive to becoming more open with their followers, highlighting the growth and learning process they underwent.
😔 Clashing Expectations and Cultural Differences
This paragraph delves into the couple's struggles with differing cultural expectations, particularly in the early stages of their relationship. They discuss how their backgrounds, with Pama being Asian-American and Edward from a Middle Eastern culture, led to misunderstandings and disagreements. An example given involves Edward's interactions with past romantic interests on social media, which were seen as harmless by him but as inappropriate by Pama. The couple emphasizes the need for clear communication to navigate these cultural differences and establish shared expectations, which was a challenging but necessary process for the health of their relationship.
🌍 Embracing Cultural Richness and Social Media's Role
In the final paragraph, the couple reflects on the positive aspects of their cultural differences, such as getting along well with each other's families and not having issues with religion. They also address the perception of social media, stating that while it may not be 'fake,' it does only show a portion of one's truth, often the positive aspects. The couple acknowledges the challenges of balancing content creation with enjoying real-life experiences, particularly during travels. They express their desire to use their platform to inspire others, share the beauty of their respective cultures, and be transparent about their journey, including both the joys and struggles they face.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Cultural Differences
💡Secret Relationship
💡Long-Distance Relationship
💡Expectations
💡Social Media
💡Content Creator
💡Communication
💡Conflict Resolution
💡Love Language
💡Public Image
💡Transparency
Highlights
Cultural differences played a significant role in the couple's relationship struggles.
The couple, Piam and Edward, kept their relationship a secret initially due to Edward's work situation with the group Cantomando.
Long-distance nature of their relationship affected the frequency of social media sharing about each other.
Piam felt that Edward was keeping their relationship too private, which was a point of contention.
Expectations and their establishment were a major source of conflict, especially due to cultural misunderstandings.
An example of a cultural clash involved Edward's interaction with past romantic interests on social media.
Both partners had to navigate unspoken cultural norms that affected their relationship dynamics.
The couple considered breaking up due to the difficulties in managing cultural differences and expectations.
Piam struggled with expressing her concerns about their relationship due to fear of being judged.
Despite the struggles, the couple found support in each other's families and did not face issues with religion.
Social media's portrayal of relationships often omits the challenges and conflicts faced by couples.
The couple aims to use their platform to inspire others by sharing their authentic story, including the difficulties.
Piam's love for content creation sometimes interferes with enjoying experiences, leading to discussions about the balance.
Edward's perspective on the importance of having a purpose behind creating content, especially travel vlogs.
The couple's desire to showcase and educate about Arab and Chinese cultures through their channel.
The video concludes with a reflection on the value of overcoming relationship struggles and the importance of hard work in maintaining a relationship.
Transcripts
a lot of it had to do with our cultural
differences don't you think I'm about
bad things no no you got judged people
didn't know we were dating for the first
bit of our relationship but there's a
reason for that hi guys welcome back to
my channel I'm pamat and this is my
boyfriend Edward hello if you're new
here how long have we been dating for
we've been dating for 3 years actually 3
years of dating yes but in those 3 years
together we've kept a lot from the
public ooh dramatic you know everyone
thinks that everything's just been
smooth sailing and so easy for us but
we've actually been through some pretty
dark times and today we feel like we're
comfortable sharing some of those
struggles with you guys and the hope it
inspires whoever is struggling or just
let you in on some gossip here okay
struggling people or nosy people or
noisy people yeah we're we're going to
spell the T
yeah I've actually prepared a list of
questions to help us break down those um
struggles so the first question is why
did we keep our relationship
secret when we first came out they're
like you guys have been two years
together a year and a half there's no
way like it was a big shock for all of
our followers people didn't know we were
dating for the first bit of our
relationship yeah but there's a reason
for that the first major reason is uh
Edward work situation so Edward is part
of a group called cantomando it's a
three guys group yeah and when we first
started dating we were the first to
start dating it was just one of those
things where because I was in the public
eye all the time I just didn't know
whether or not it made sense to kind of
show everyone like hey here's my
girlfriend whatever but eventually that
uh didn't become a problem anymore so we
just went went ahead and did that there
was one video where all of our
girlfriends were shown in video together
for the first time that was a it was a
cheap verus expensive date video and uh
it was pretty far in so technically it
was basically a secret for a year and a
half the second reason mhm is that uh we
were in a longdistance
relationship at first for the for the
first year being in a long-distance
relationship meant the opportunities of
us sharing about moments on social media
are more rare than the average person
just because we're not seeing each other
quite frequently right less
opportunities less opportunities to to
post about each other if if for example
if they're not always around you it's
hard to include them in a lot of stories
and stuff and especially if you're
living with other people and there may
be other girls and you might tag them as
well just being longdistance makes it
harder to post about the other person
unless you're going to make like a
dedicated post like I miss you baby or
something like that like 4 months
without seeing you and that was a bit
too cheesy you like you didn't do that
also I'm not sure if this is applicable
for Pia but personally I like to keep my
private life very separate from oh yeah
that's true from from uh like social
media social media so I'm not that big
of a fan of sharing like you know my
these private things with everybody but
uh over time you know I saw that it
meant a lot to this relationship and it
meant a lot to Pia as well so funny that
that used to bother me a lot it really
really bothered her yeah it really
bothered me because I was the one who
felt like I'm being public about our
relationship and Edward even though it
was Private for him but it felt it was
secretive like he's keeping it a secret
well I wasn't trying to keep it a secret
but I can see why pa would feel that way
and uh especially it's like almost two
years in you know I can see why she
would feel that way and now nowadays I
feel like you know if I see a couple I
don't see them on each other's profiles
I'm like hm what's going on what's going
on here you know
like yeah I see it's more of a love
language you know how some people words
of affirmation is a thing or quality
time is a thing I feel posing about the
other person is a love language in my in
my honest opinion at least for me is it
because you want to be shown off right
it's not shown off it's just like hey
I'm taken don't come nearby I'm taken
literally yeah it's saying I'm taken at
least at least a picture just to let
people know that you know there's
someone in your life so yeah question
now next question have we ever thought
of breaking
up ooh
I'll I'll go ahead and say it
first I have at the very beginning of
our relationship as the relationship
went on he you stop acting like you
don't know
interesting relationship went on things
got like improved a lot
but I would say the start is when we had
the clashes I think a lot of it had to
do with our cultural
differences okay yeah before everyone
jumps in on that and being like
that's because you guys your parents
didn't approve or you guys come from
different religions let me tell you it's
not the case okay we are actually very
blessed that we got lucky on this part
but we actually fought
over how do I say it's like the the
expectations the expectations what kind
of expectations we had of each other in
the going through the different stages
of our relationship for example like
there's there's certain things that you
uh well you're from Middle Eastern
culture and then I would say I'm Asian
American culture which is actually more
American than Asian really so there's
certain things that you think are um as
an American you're like oh that's okay
that that's that's not that bad you know
that's not considered Unfaithful or you
know cheating or anything like that um
but then it might be sensitive to
someone from your culture and then vice
versa right so do do you want to give
examples um give example oh okay here's
an example okay for example example uh
one thing was maybe like girls that I
have hooked up with before or had some
kind of past thing continuing to engage
with their Instagram posts and stuff you
know like before I'm like well that's
not a big deal you know I just like to
picture of girl cuz my finger slipped or
like it's just it's just like this you
know like but then but then I the more
we we fought so we had a big fight about
this but then I I ended up seeing her
point I'm like you know what I I
probably wouldn't want her to do the
same thing yeah yeah that's a that's a
very prime example you gave like
interacting with uh
people he hooked up with but this all
comes back to culture right it's like
the unspoken element the unspoken
element yeah this is a thing it's just
but for me it was like a no-brainer like
how could you do that like you're
literally hinting at them especially
Especial because I know how girls think
even though that's maybe not what your
intention is but that could be perceived
in a certain way for that person or they
would think that you're they're you're
opening up a chance for them to engage
with you again and all of those things I
had to like explain myself and was the
thing about expectations especially is
that because they haven't been
established so you only going to discuss
them when they happen and you don't
discuss everything all at once so I say
that in incident happened happened and
then it happens again in the future nuan
differently and then we have to bring up
the topic again and so this is why the
the start of our relationship was very
rough is
because we we kept learning about each
other's expectations we just needed to
learn what kind of expectations we had
from each other and a lot of that comes
from cultural differences you know if I
think if we were from the same culture
it would be e easy to follow the same
unspoken and these things would never
need to be brought up yeah but because
we're from different cultures you have
to communicate you have need you need a
lot more communication because a lot of
these expectation things were going to
pop up over and over again so that's
what made it very rough at the beginning
and led to some of the times where we
almost consider break we did consider
breaking up it's very hard to explain
this because I feel like most of the
times when I um I bring this up with
anyone
are you about to
cry okay time to
cut don't you think about bad things no
no it's fine what's that
matter know it's just that you got
judged thinking
that you you successfully prevented the
makeup from being
ruined it it takes a lot of skill to not
cry when you're about to cry so yeah the
biggest struggle was dealing with that
at first but could not really express it
to anyone because you're afraid of being
judged by thinking that you're very
conservative or
traditional sorry let let take a moment
for
my tears to dry so let's so we're in a
much better place now yeah yeah yeah no
no absolutely absolutely I'm just I
wanted to like shut light on the
struggles for someone
who uh I mean it was definitely hard for
Edward absolutely I'm not just taking
that away but I'm in that culture it's
not like Edward is in Lebanon and he's
dealing with that so I'm in this culture
I'm this in in this pool of culture yeah
maybe you just didn't have someone to
talk to about these things yeah I didn't
like I didn't have someone to talk to
about these things so I had to deal with
this by myself I even didn't know if it
was proper for me to bring it up with
Edward
because um I didn't know it was if it it
was right for me to say it I I always
felt like I have to just accept the way
it is because this is the culture I'm in
right now also also p is very protective
of not say telling our our bad things to
anyone else so she you know she always
tries to protect the way that we are you
know she protects our reputation so it
makes it even harder for her it bottles
everything in but you know that's why we
went through this learning process so we
can become who we are now and we're a
lot better for each other given
everything it's better to go through
that the beginning then for that to come
up later in a relationship that's true
for us to actually overcome these and
still work on ourself that shows a lot
of determination that we really want
this to work um not everything is easy
yeah but not not everything is easy for
sure but the good things the good things
sometimes require a lot of work
that's true on the other hand on a
positive note what we had no trouble
with so funny coming from different
backgrounds is like for family Dynamics
like I'm I got really I got along very
well with his mom he gets along very
well with my parents M even like
religion is not um a problem for us so
yeah anyway third and final question is
social media fake
I don't think social media is fake but
social media shows one truth and one
truth
only you know yeah it doesn't show the
entire Story shows half the story not
even half like what are you sharing true
and when are you sharing you're sharing
your positive moments you're sharing
your you know your accomplishments
you're sharing it's just the nature of
social media well with us it's like what
what do you we show on social media we
show the happy side of us in
relationship and now that we've talked
about kind of the negatives that we've
been through um you can see that you
know there for every happy side there
also is like a flip side it's just
whether or not you decide is it worth it
you know and this relationship has been
very worth it for us just you guys
haven't seen the negative side that's
true like for me
honestly I use social media it's a tool
for me to just keep track of my my life
I love filming I love editing I love
creating content it's always something I
love it's like my love language but the
downside of it especially when you
become um content creator is that you
have to do it uhoh sorry my alarm
especially when we travel um and you
have to film it sometimes gets in the
way of actually enjoying the trip oh
yeah um we actually had talks about this
and arguments about this like for
example a recent trip to Italy for me I
want it's okay I want her to tell me hey
these are the scenes we need we're done
filming okay put it away but then she
wanted to kind of film everything just
in case she needed it right that's the
problem okay this is this is the thing
about especially travel Vlogs is that
you don't know what you're going to end
up using this is why my Kenya Vlog I
told Ed it's going to be my last Vlog
that I'm just going to have no purpose
behind it and just collectively just
film the whole thing um I I told I told
him I'm retiring that uh just
be okay there's a celebration that
you're retiring that or it's like hey
don't retire that moving forward I want
every video to have a purpose I want to
inspire
couples Like Us by telling our story by
by being transparent with you guys I
want to also showcase the beauty of Arab
culture and Chinese culture I think
there's a lot to share about those two
beautiful cultures and this is what I
want to be able to do on this channel
that's cool I'm excited to see yeah I
hope you guys are excited to see as well
anyway I hope this tells you a little
bit about us and if you want to keep
supporting just make sure you like this
video subscribe to my channel and I'll
see you next time
bye happy 3 years
happy guess I thought you read my mind
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