Let Yourself Be Skinny

Tara Marino
21 Sept 201207:27

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Tara Marino from Elegant Femme discusses the concept of allowing oneself to be skinny, emphasizing that it's about achieving a healthy and beautiful body, not an unhealthy one. She addresses common reasons women may self-sabotage their weight loss journeys, such as fear of offending others or uncertainty about what comes after reaching their goal. Tara introduces the idea of needing 'permission' to be skinny, which she says comes from one's 'Indie' rather than 'Frenchie' personality traits. She encourages viewers to journal and explore their thoughts on the question, 'Can I let myself be skinny?' to gain clarity and move towards embracing a healthier body image.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 The speaker, Tara Marino, introduces the concept of embracing a 'skinny' body in a healthy and beautiful way, not equating it with unhealthy thinness.
  • 💭 The majority of women have a desire to be skinny, but there are internal and external factors that prevent them from achieving or even aiming for this goal.
  • 🔍 Tara shares her personal struggle with an eating disorder and how it affected her perception of her body, regardless of her actual size.
  • 🤔 The script poses the question of why women self-sabotage their journey to a healthier, 'skinny' body and what might be holding them back.
  • 👥 It suggests that societal pressures, such as the fear of offending others or drawing attention, could be reasons why women do not allow themselves to be skinny.
  • 🤯 The fear of the unknown after achieving the desired body, such as what to focus on next or how to handle the attention, is another barrier discussed.
  • 🚫 The script identifies a common mistake: associating the desire to be skinny solely with the 'Frenchie' aspect of one's personality, which is responsible for body image and beauty.
  • 💡 The key to allowing oneself to be skinny is not just the desire but also the 'permission' to be skinny, which comes from the 'Indie' aspect of one's personality, associated with self-worth and calmness.
  • 📝 Tara recommends journaling as a method to gain clarity and permission to be skinny, by answering the question 'Can I let myself be skinny?'
  • ⏳ The process of journaling is suggested to take about 15 to 20 minutes to deeply reflect on the internal barriers to embracing a skinny body.
  • 📢 Tara invites viewers to share their thoughts on what life would be like if they allowed themselves to be skinny and no longer worried about their body size or shape.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the video script by Tara Marino?

    -The main topic of the video script is about allowing oneself to be skinny in a healthy and beautiful way, addressing the psychological barriers that prevent women from achieving their desired body image.

  • What does Tara Marino define as 'skinny' in the context of her discussion?

    -Tara Marino defines 'skinny' as being healthy, gorgeous, and beautiful, rather than being emaciated or unhealthy like the body image portrayed by some celebrities.

  • What is the 'Frenchie' in the context of the video script?

    -In the script, 'Frenchie' refers to the femme type responsible for one's body image, relationships, and beauty. It represents the desire to be skinny and to look and feel good in one's body.

  • What is the 'Indie' according to Tara Marino's explanation?

    -The 'Indie' is the femme type that allows a person to be calm, connected, and associated with their self-worth. It is the aspect that provides the permission to be skinny, which is different from the desire to be skinny.

  • Why do some women not let themselves be skinny according to the script?

    -Some women do not let themselves be skinny due to fear of offending others, fear of the attention they might receive, or uncertainty about what to focus on once they achieve their goal.

  • What is the common mistake that women make when trying to be skinny as mentioned in the script?

    -The common mistake is that women often focus only on the desire to be skinny (the Frenchie aspect) and neglect the permission to be skinny (the Indie aspect), which is essential for a holistic approach to achieving and maintaining a healthy body image.

  • What does Tara Marino suggest as a practical step towards giving oneself permission to be skinny?

    -Tara Marino suggests journaling as a practical step. She advises writing down 'Can I let myself be skinny?' at the top of a piece of paper and spending 15 to 20 minutes answering that question to gain clarity on the underlying issues.

  • What is the purpose of journaling in the context of the video script?

    -The purpose of journaling in this context is to help individuals understand and confront the internal barriers that prevent them from giving themselves permission to be skinny, leading to a healthier and more positive body image.

  • What is the significance of the Indie in allowing oneself to be skinny?

    -The Indie is significant because it is linked to self-worth and provides the necessary permission to embrace a skinny body in a healthy way. It is the aspect that helps overcome guilt and self-sabotage associated with body image.

  • How does Tara Marino address the issue of self-sabotage in the pursuit of a skinny body?

    -Tara Marino addresses self-sabotage by identifying it as a common reaction to not having the 'permission' aspect (Indie) in place. She suggests that by acknowledging and addressing this through journaling, individuals can overcome self-sabotage and move towards their goal.

  • What is the final call to action from Tara Marino in the video script?

    -The final call to action is for viewers to leave a comment answering the question, 'What would it be like if you could allow yourself to be skinny and no longer worry about this part of your life?' This is to encourage reflection and discussion on the topic.

Outlines

00:00

💃 Embracing the Desire to Be Skinny

Tara Marino from Elegant Femme initiates a conversation about the concept of being skinny, emphasizing it as a healthy and beautiful state rather than an unhealthy one. She challenges the notion of societal pressure and internal barriers that prevent women from achieving their desired body image. Tara shares her personal struggle with an eating disorder and introduces the concept of 'self-sabotage' that many women face when nearing their body goals. She identifies two main reasons women might hold themselves back: fear of offending others or uncertainty about what to focus on once they achieve their ideal body. Tara encourages introspection and understanding of these internal conflicts to move towards a healthier, more confident self-image.

05:02

🔑 Permission to Be Skinny: The Key to Transformation

In the second paragraph, Tara Marino delves deeper into the psychological aspects of body image, introducing the concepts of 'Frenchie' and 'Indie' as different aspects of a woman's psyche. The 'Frenchie' represents the desire to be skinny, while the 'Indie' is the part that grants permission to achieve this state. Tara argues that merely wanting to be skinny is not enough; one must also give oneself permission to embrace this goal. She suggests that guilt and self-sabotage are common but can be overcome by activating the 'Indie' within. To facilitate this process, Tara recommends journaling as a means to gain clarity and self-permission. She invites viewers to share their thoughts on what life would be like without the worry of body image, emphasizing the importance of this journey for personal growth and self-acceptance.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Skinny

In the context of the video, 'skinny' refers to a healthy and attractive body shape that the speaker is advocating for, rather than an unhealthy or emaciated state. It is a central theme of the video, where the speaker discusses the societal and personal perceptions of being skinny and the internal struggle many women face in allowing themselves to achieve this body type. For example, the speaker asks, 'What would it be like if you let yourself be skinny?' to provoke thought about societal pressures and personal desires.

💡Elegant Femme

Elegant Femme is the brand or platform represented by Tara Marino, the speaker in the video. It is the source of the video's message and likely focuses on women's empowerment and self-image. The term is used to establish the authority and context of the speaker, indicating that the advice given is from a place of expertise in women's health and beauty.

💡Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is a concept discussed in the video where the speaker describes a behavior where individuals undermine their own success, often unconsciously. In the context of the video, it refers to the act of women who, despite wanting to be skinny, engage in behaviors that prevent them from achieving their goal, such as overeating. The speaker uses the term to highlight an internal conflict that many women face on their journey to a healthier body image.

💡Desire

Desire in this video refers to the longing or wish for a certain outcome, specifically the desire to be skinny. It is a driving force behind the actions of the individuals the speaker is addressing. The speaker points out that while having a desire is important, it is not sufficient on its own to achieve the goal of being skinny; one also needs permission, which is a key point in the video's message.

💡Permission

Permission, as discussed in the video, is the concept of giving oneself the consent or approval to achieve a goal or to be a certain way. The speaker emphasizes that many women have the desire to be skinny but lack the permission to do so, which is a crucial missing piece in their journey towards a healthier body image. The term is used to illustrate the importance of self-approval in personal transformation.

💡Frenchie

In the video, 'Frenchie' is a term used to describe a certain feminine archetype that is associated with responsibility for body image, relationships, and beauty. The speaker uses this term to illustrate the part of a woman's psyche that desires to be skinny and to highlight the misconception that the desire alone is enough to achieve it.

💡Indie

The term 'Indie' in the video represents another feminine archetype that is linked to calmness, connection, and self-worth. According to the speaker, it is the Indie aspect that provides the necessary permission to be skinny, suggesting that inner peace and self-acceptance are as important as the external desire for a particular body type.

💡Journaling

Journaling is presented in the video as a tool for self-reflection and self-discovery. The speaker encourages viewers to journal the question 'Can I let myself be skinny?' as a means to gain clarity and understand the underlying reasons why they may not have given themselves permission to be skinny. It is an exercise meant to ignite the Indie within, facilitating personal growth and self-acceptance.

💡Body Image

Body image refers to the mental representation of one's own body, which can significantly impact self-esteem and self-perception. In the video, the speaker discusses the negative impact of societal pressures on women's body image and how the journey to a healthy body image involves more than just physical change—it requires a shift in mindset and self-permission.

💡Self-worth

Self-worth is the value and esteem that one places on oneself. In the context of the video, self-worth is closely tied to the Indie archetype and is presented as a critical component in allowing oneself to be skinny. The speaker suggests that a healthy sense of self-worth is necessary to overcome self-sabotage and to give oneself the permission to achieve one's desired body image.

💡Transformation

Transformation in the video refers to the process of changing one's body image and self-perception to align with a healthier and more positive view of oneself. The speaker discusses the internal struggles and the necessary steps, such as journaling and self-permission, that contribute to this transformation. It is the ultimate goal for the individuals the speaker is addressing.

Highlights

Tara Marino from Elegant Femme discusses the concept of allowing oneself to be skinny, emphasizing it's not about being unhealthy but rather embracing a healthy and beautiful body image.

The speaker introduces the idea that many women, regardless of their size, have a desire for a better body but often don't allow themselves to achieve it.

Tara shares her personal struggle with an eating disorder and the constant feeling of wanting to be just a little bit more, regardless of her weight.

The transcript explores the reasons why women might not let themselves be skinny, including fear of offending others or the unknown consequences of achieving their ideal body.

The concept of 'Frenchie' and 'Indie' femme types is introduced, with 'Frenchie' being associated with the desire to be skinny and 'Indie' with the permission to achieve it.

Tara explains that the permission to be skinny comes from the 'Indie' femme type, which is linked to self-worth and calmness, rather than the 'Frenchie' type.

The transcript identifies self-sabotage as a common issue among women who desire to be skinny but lack the internal permission to do so.

Tara suggests that the guilt and self-sabotage women feel about wanting to be skinny are normal because they haven't ignited their 'Indie' aspect.

The speaker recommends journaling as a method to give oneself permission to be skinny, providing a step-by-step guide on how to approach this exercise.

Tara emphasizes the importance of spending 15 to 20 minutes journaling the question 'Can I let myself be skinny?' to gain clarity on internal barriers.

The transcript encourages readers to share their thoughts on what life would be like if they allowed themselves to be skinny without worry.

Tara invites viewers to leave a comment and reflect on the potential positive impact of achieving their ideal body without the stress of body image concerns.

The speaker hints at an upcoming big release and encourages viewers to stay tuned for more information.

The transcript concludes with a reminder for viewers to engage with the content by leaving a comment and reflecting on their personal journey towards body acceptance.

Tara Marino's message is one of empowerment, encouraging women to find balance between desire and permission to achieve a healthy and beautiful body.

Transcripts

play00:01

Let Yourself Be Skinny Hi this is Tara Marino with Elegant Femme

play00:03

and I want to talk to you about something pretty, what should I call it?

play00:09

I was going to call it heavy but itís not heavy.

play00:11

In fact itís an opportunity to be really, really light.

play00:16

What would it be like if you let yourself be skinny?

play00:20

Now that might sound like a funny question, right?

play00:23

The majority of women I talk to say, of course I want to be skinny.

play00:27

Now before we go into this I want to tell you in a minute what I really mean by skinny.

play00:31

Iím going to talk to you about why the majority of women donít let themselves be skinny and

play00:36

one thing that you can do today that will allow you to move in that direction and itís

play00:40

not what you think.

play00:41

First of all let me define for you what I mean by skinny.

play00:45

Iím not talking Kate Moss skinny.

play00:47

Iím not talking unhealthy.

play00:49

Iím talking very healthy, and very gorgeous and very beautiful.

play00:54

So right now where you are in your life right now the scale the gamut, have you ever thought

play01:00

to yourself you know what if you could have a better body and I donít mean just a little

play01:04

bit of a better body but actually let yourself have that body.

play01:09

You know that thin, beautiful, gorgeous body that youíve been desiring and whining that

play01:13

always feels like, huh, right there and I talked to so many women around the world and

play01:19

I donít care what size you are, the majority of women have this going on in their heads

play01:24

no matter what size they are.

play01:26

There was a big part of my past where I struggled with an eating disorder and it wouldnít matter

play01:30

what size my weight was, what the scale said, it was always oh ñ if I could be just a little

play01:34

bit more.

play01:35

Okay?

play01:36

So it doesnít matter where you are in the scale right now.

play01:38

I want you to go inside and really hear what it is Iím saying.

play01:41

The first thing I want to address with you is why.

play01:43

Why do the majority of women not let themselves be skinny?

play01:47

So hereís how it used to go for me, tell me if you can relate to this.

play01:52

I start to think about my body and start to say, you know I want to be a little bit thinner.

play01:56

I want to feel really good.

play01:57

I want my legs looking a certain way, you know ñ you know what we do.

play02:01

And it would start to happen.

play02:02

And I remember one distinct moment I, I was actually in a bathroom, I was shaving my legs

play02:06

and I look down and my legs were starting to look like what I wanted them to look like.

play02:09

There was this little voice back here that said, oh I guess that would be good enough.

play02:14

And I started to right almost after that shower, I started to eat crap again and I was thinking,

play02:19

why did I do that?

play02:20

Why did I almost let myself get to where it was I wanted to go and then I stopped?

play02:24

I started self-sabotaging.

play02:25

Have you ever done that?

play02:27

You start allowing yourself to look the way you want to look and then something happens.

play02:31

All of a sudden you start moving in the other direction.

play02:33

I want to tell you why it happens for us as women.

play02:34

There are a couple of different reasons.

play02:36

We are afraid that if we allow ourselves to have the body that we want someone else will

play02:41

be upset about it, maybe itís a sibling, maybe itís a friend, maybe itís even your

play02:46

mom.

play02:47

Okay?

play02:48

We are going to go there.

play02:49

Somewhere around you, especially a female youíre worried about offending her like you

play02:52

actually allow yourself to step into your beautiful, gorgeous, skinny body.

play02:56

Thatís one reason.

play02:58

Another reason is that weíre afraid sometimes of what will happen when we get there.

play03:02

What would that attention look like if we allow ourselves to have that gorgeous skinny

play03:06

body and maybe youíve had this one.

play03:08

This one used to be one of mine in the back of my head ñ well if I get there and I allowed

play03:11

myself to be skinny, what will I work on after that?

play03:15

What will I complain about?

play03:16

Okay?

play03:17

So I want you to be real with yourself if youíre having any of those kind of thoughts

play03:20

inside.

play03:21

Thatís really normal for us.

play03:22

Now let me tell you the mistakes that we make and how it is we can turn this around for

play03:26

ourselves as women.

play03:28

Now the number one mistake that women make when it comes to allowing ourselves to be

play03:31

skinny is that women relate being skinny to a Frenchie situation.

play03:37

Now if youíre not familiar with the Frenchie, the Frenchie is the femme type that is responsible

play03:41

for your body image, for your relationships, for beauty, so yes I said well body image.

play03:46

You might be thinking, of course Tara it is a Frenchie situation right?

play03:50

Your Frenchie is responsible for the desire to be skinny.

play03:56

Sheís the one that wants to be skinny, that desires to be skinny, that desires to wear

play04:00

the gorgeous clothes and feel gorgeous in her body and show off her body.

play04:05

But the desire to be skinny is not where it begins and it is not the only part of the

play04:12

equation.

play04:13

You need something else.

play04:14

You not only need the desire to be skinny, you require the permission to be skinny and

play04:21

this is a part the majority of women miss.

play04:24

The permission to be skinny doesnít come from your Frenchie, it comes from your Indie.

play04:30

Your Indie is the femme type that allows you to be calm and connected and associated with

play04:34

your self-worth.

play04:36

You require the Indie femme type; you require the permission to be skinny ñ not just the

play04:43

desire.

play04:44

So if you find yourself doing this, youíre saying, I donít understand I want to be skinny

play04:48

so bad, I want to look this way, I want to wear the beautiful clothes, I want to shine

play04:52

in my life, I want to be beautiful but then you find yourself acting out in another way

play04:56

ñ overeating, sneaking, self-sabotaging, you get really angry with yourself; like I

play05:02

say want it but why am I not doing it?

play05:04

Because the piece thatës missing for you is the permission to be skinny.

play05:08

You need to start with giving yourself the permission to be skinny.

play05:11

Thatís where this whole thing begins.

play05:13

Alright?

play05:14

So the guilt youíve been feeling about wanting to be beautiful and skinny, the self-sabotage

play05:19

that has been happening, I want you to know itís totally normal because you havenít

play05:22

ignited your Indie in this process.

play05:24

So hereís what I want you to do today.

play05:26

I want you to take one step towards giving yourself permission to be skinny and itís

play05:31

going to start with your Indie.

play05:32

So I actually want you to journal today.

play05:34

Youíre thinking body image journal, this is going to help me to be skinny?

play05:38

It really is.

play05:39

How do I know?

play05:40

It worked for me and all I can do is share with you what absolutely worked for me.

play05:44

I no longer focus and worry about being skinny, it just happens for me.

play05:49

Itís just how I live now.

play05:51

Why?

play05:52

Because Iíve given myself permission to be skinny and then I take my desire with my Frenchie

play05:56

to a whole new level.

play05:57

So this is what I want you do to, I want you to journal ìCan I let myself be skinny?î

play06:02

And I actually want you to journal it out.

play06:05

I donít just want you to think about the question and go around saying; hmm can I let

play06:08

myself be skinny?

play06:10

I want you to sit down with a piece of paper and write on the top, ìCan I let myself be

play06:13

skinny?î and I want you to spend about 15 to 20 minutes answering that question.

play06:18

Youíre going to get a lot of clarity of whatís been going on beneath the scenes and why up

play06:22

until now you have not given yourself permission to be skinny.

play06:26

So thatís where I want you to start.

play06:27

And I want to invite you to leave a comment below.

play06:30

And I want you to answer this question, what would it be like if you let yourself to be

play06:34

skinny and you no longer have to worry about this?

play06:38

What if this part of your life was taken care of and you could go on to the rest of your

play06:44

life thatís waiting for you and be skinny in the process.

play06:48

What would that be like for you?

play06:49

So again the question is, what would it be like if you could allow yourself to be skinny

play06:52

and no longer worry about this part of your life?

play06:55

I want you to share it out below.

play06:56

This is a big thing for us as women.

play06:58

I want you to know Iíve been there and now Iím on the other side.

play07:01

I want you to join me here.

play07:02

Alright?

play07:03

So this video is absolutely for your Indie and your Frenchie gets to reap the rewards

play07:08

and I want to tell you something else before we go.

play07:11

I want you to stay tuned because Iím going to be releasing something really, really big

play07:15

very shortly and I want you to keep your eyes opened for that.

play07:17

Okay?

play07:18

So remember leave a comment below, what would it be like for you to be skinny and would

play07:22

it be like if you didnít have to worry about that part of your life anymore?

play07:24

Iíll see you soon.

play07:25

Bye, bye.

play07:26

-end-

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