Could Kanye West Save Austria-Hungary?

Summary

This imaginative historical scenario explores what might have happened if Kanye West, with his 2007 album 'Graduation', had been given power in the Austro-Hungarian government before World War I. Despite initial challenges of language barriers and racial discrimination, Kanye's music could have potentially unified the diverse empire. However, design flaws in his combat Yeezy boots and a series of controversial actions led to a downfall, culminating in the empire's surrender. The narrative humorously weaves in elements of modern culture, including a twist where a German soldier supported by Kanye becomes Elon Musk, vowing to avenge his fallen hero.

Takeaways

• 🎵 Kanye West's album 'Graduation' and CD players are the only modern items he brings to 1914 Austria-Hungary.
• 🗣️ Kanye faces language barriers and racial discrimination, which initially hinders his ability to command troops or organize the government.
• 🎶 Over time, Kanye's music acts as a unifying force among the diverse ethnicities of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, boosting morale.
• 🎉 With the support of his music, Kanye leads a successful campaign in Serbia, using innovative tactics like 'ping pong artillery'.
• 🇮🇹 The victory inspires Italy to join the Central Powers, giving Kanye time to prepare a counteroffensive on the Eastern front.
• 🥾 Kanye introduces combat Yeezy boots with music players, which initially help in breaking through Russian lines.
• ❄️ The Yeezy boots have design flaws, causing logistical issues and troop deaths due to frostbite in the Russian weather.
• 📉 Unfinished music on the Yeezy boots leads to a decline in morale and a preference for 'the old Kanye' among the troops.
• 😵 Kanye suffers manic episodes and changes his name to 'yay', leading to his hospitalization and removal from command.
• 🔒 'Yay' is arrested for treasonous statements and his assets are seized, further destabilizing the Austro-Hungarian government.
• 🗳️ Amidst chaos, Kanye announces his intention to be elected as the new emperor, but his controversial comments lead to more division.
• 💔 The Empire collapses under internal strife and military defeat, with Italy switching sides and widespread mutinies.

Q & A

What was the state of Austria-Hungary before World War I?

Austria-Hungary before World War I was a state dominated by massive internal political and ethnic divisions. Despite undergoing industrial expansion and experiencing modernization, it faced significant challenges due to its feudal roots.

Why was Austria-Hungary dissolved after World War I?

Austria-Hungary was dissolved due to the external pressures of war and internal unrest, which overwhelmed the empire just four years after the start of the conflict.

What is the hypothetical scenario presented involving Kanye West and Austria-Hungary?

The hypothetical scenario suggests that if Kanye West, as he was on September 12th, 2007, were given power in the Austro-Hungarian government, he might have had the potential to save the empire from total collapse.

What challenges would Kanye West face in communicating with people in Austria-Hungary?

Kanye West would face significant challenges in communication due to not speaking any of the 14 official languages of Austria-Hungary, which would hinder his ability to command troops or organize the government.

How does the script suggest Kanye West's music could have been used during the war?

The script suggests that Kanye West's music, played through CD players, could have acted as a unifying force, bringing together the diverse ethnicities fighting in the empire and providing a morale boost.

What innovative tactic is attributed to Kanye West in the script?

In the script, Kanye West is credited with innovating 'ping pong artillery tactics,' which led to a swift victory in Serbia with minimal losses.

How does the script describe the impact of Kanye West's combat Yeezy boots on the Eastern front?

The combat Yeezy boots, which also functioned as music players, initially helped break through Russian defensive lines. However, they had design flaws and were not suited for the Russian weather, leading to many troops suffering from frostbite.

What were the consequences of Kanye West's manic episodes and name change to 'yay'?

Kanye West's manic episodes and name change to 'yay' led to his hospitalization and removal from command, causing turmoil and contributing to the empire's military and political decline.

How did Kanye West's controversial comments affect Austria-Hungary's unity?

Kanye West's controversial comments and conduct led to increased division within Austria-Hungary, ultimately resulting in Italy switching sides and widespread mutinies that contributed to the empire's collapse.

What is the surprising connection made between Kanye West and Adolf Hitler in the script?

In the script, Kanye West's endorsement of Adolf Hitler, who was a German soldier at the time, leads Hitler to gain power and support 'yay,' showing a surprising and fictional connection between the two figures.

What is the final outcome for Austria-Hungary and Kanye West in this hypothetical scenario?

In the end, Austria-Hungary agrees to an unconditional surrender, leading to the partition of its lands. Kanye West's efforts to save the empire fail, and his actions contribute to its downfall.