How To Eliminate Self Doubt Forever & The Power of Your Unconscious Mind | Peter Sage | TEDxPatras

Summary

This script delves into the paradox of intelligent individuals who procrastinate and self-sabotage despite abundant resources and opportunities. It explores the human brain's preference for comfort over growth, the impact of childhood perceptions on self-worth, and the power of habits formed by our environment. The speaker offers three tips for self-mastery: avoiding negative influences, seeking positive programming, and working with mentors to overcome unconscious patterns, emphasizing the importance of personal growth to inspire change in others.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The human brain's neocortex is responsible for executive decision-making and is not fully operational until around age seven.
• 🌐 The media's role is to stimulate the amygdala, focusing on negative news to capture attention, which can affect our subconscious programming.
• 👶 Childhood experiences significantly shape our self-perception and can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors if negative messages are internalized.
• 🔄 Our brains are hardwired for habits, which can be both beneficial for learning new skills and detrimental if they reinforce negative patterns.
• 🚫 Procrastination and self-sabotage often stem from ingrained beliefs about our own worth and abilities, formed during our early years.
• 🌱 Personal growth is about managing the tension between seeking comfort and pursuing our innate potential for growth.
• 🌟 Success is not solely determined by resources or opportunities; individuals with limited resources can still achieve remarkable outcomes.
• 🧭 The mind tends to default to negative thinking unless consciously directed otherwise, highlighting the importance of intentional self-guidance.
• 🔗 Our environment has a powerful influence on our habits and beliefs, often outweighing our personal willpower.
• 🤝 Building positive relationships and surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals is crucial for personal development.
• 🌱 To achieve self-mastery, it's essential to address unconscious programming and actively cultivate positive habits and mindsets.

Q & A

Why do intelligent and self-motivated people often procrastinate or self-sabotage?

Intelligent and self-motivated people may procrastinate or self-sabotage due to the dynamic tension between the comfort zone and the innate desire for growth, as well as unconscious beliefs formed during childhood that can limit their potential.

What is the 'glass ceiling' phenomenon referred to in the script?

The 'glass ceiling' refers to an invisible barrier that prevents individuals from achieving higher levels of success or income, despite their efforts and the availability of resources and opportunities.

Why do some people with access to resources and opportunities underperform, while others with little to no resources excel?

The difference lies in how individuals manage the tension between comfort and growth, and whether they have overcome limiting beliefs and patterns from their past to create success against the odds.

What role does the neocortex play in human behavior and decision-making?

The neocortex, part of the frontal lobe, is responsible for higher-order thinking, decision-making, and executive functions. It operates at alpha or beta brain wave lengths and is crucial for conscious thought and behavior.

How does childhood influence an individual's self-perception and potential for success?

Childhood experiences and the perception of love and acceptance from caregivers significantly shape an individual's self-opinion, which in turn influences their beliefs about their worth and potential for success.

Why is it difficult for people to rise above their self-perception?

People find it hard to rise above their self-perception because it is largely formed in childhood and reinforced by habits and unconscious patterns, making it a deeply ingrained belief system.

What is the significance of the prefrontal cortex in habit formation?

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive decision-making. When decisions are made repeatedly, the cortex adapts by handing over the behavior to the midbrain, turning it into an unconscious habit.

How does the environment impact an individual's habits and beliefs?

The environment has a powerful influence on shaping habits and beliefs over time. People are programmable by design, and their surroundings can override their intentions if they do not actively choose their environment.

What is the '95% law' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to personal growth?

The '95% law' refers to the idea that 95% of the time, people are 'sleeping awake,' operating on autopilot based on unconscious habits and programming. To achieve personal growth, one must consciously work on changing these patterns.

What are three tips provided in the script to help individuals break through their limitations and achieve self-mastery?

The three tips are: 1) Stop putting the wrong things in your mind and body by avoiding negative programming. 2) Start putting the right things in by seeking positive and inspiring information. 3) Get the things that shouldn't be in there out by working with a mentor or coach to address unconscious patterns.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 The Human Brain and Self-Sabotage

This paragraph delves into the reasons behind intelligent people's tendency to procrastinate and self-sabotage. It discusses the abundance of resources and opportunities in modern times, contrasting them with the lack of significant progress many people experience. The script suggests that success is not limited by external factors but by internal beliefs and behaviors. It introduces the concept of the neocortex, the part of the brain responsible for higher functions, and how early life experiences can shape an individual's self-worth and potential for success. The narrative uses the example of a child's interaction with a stressed parent to illustrate how negative messages can be internalized, leading to a lifetime of self-limiting behavior.

05:02

🔄 The Power of Habits and Self-Perception

The second paragraph examines the role of habits and self-perception in personal growth. It emphasizes the 'first law of personal growth,' stating that one's achievements are bounded by their self-opinion, largely formed during early childhood. The speaker discusses the brain's efficiency in forming habits through repetition, leading to 'unconscious behaviors' that can be hard to break. An analogy of an ant on an elephant illustrates the struggle between conscious intentions and unconscious habits. The paragraph also highlights the influence of environment over willpower, suggesting that our surroundings can shape us more than our own intentions.

10:03

🌐 The Influence of Environment and Media

This section of the script focuses on the overwhelming impact of our environment and the media on our mindset and behavior. It argues that we are programmable beings, and while we cannot choose our programming, we can choose our programmers. The speaker criticizes mainstream media for promoting negative news to capture attention, suggesting that this constant exposure can program us for negativity. The paragraph advises avoiding media that does not align with one's goals and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and people who support one's aspirations.

15:04

🛠 Tools for Self-Mastery and Personal Growth

The final paragraph offers practical advice for achieving self-mastery and breaking the cycle of self-sabotage. It provides three simple tips: stop ingesting negative influences, start filling one's life with positive and empowering content, and work with mentors or coaches to remove deep-seated, self-limiting beliefs. The speaker stresses the importance of taking charge of one's personal development, becoming the star of one's own life story, and inspiring others through personal transformation. The paragraph concludes with a call to embody the change one wishes to see in the world, aligning with the philosophy of self-mastery as the key to making a difference.

Keywords

💡Procrastination

Procrastination refers to the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions, often despite knowing that it may lead to negative consequences. In the video's theme, it is linked to the idea that intelligent and self-motivated individuals may still struggle with this behavior, suggesting an internal conflict between potential and action. The script mentions how people may find themselves stuck in a cycle of mediocrity, which could be partly attributed to procrastination.

💡Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is the act of unconsciously or consciously engaging in behavior that undermines one's own goals or well-being. The video discusses how even with opportunities and resources, individuals may still self-sabotage due to deep-seated beliefs formed during childhood, such as feeling undeserving or not good enough, as illustrated in the example of 'Little Johnny' and his father's interaction.

💡Resources and Opportunity

The terms 'resources' and 'opportunity' are central to the video's discussion on success and personal growth. The script argues that the lack of these is not the root cause of failure, as there are more resources and opportunities available today than ever before. It challenges the common excuse that a lack of resources prevents success, using examples of individuals like Colonel Sanders and Albert Einstein who overcame adversity to achieve greatness.

💡Neocortex

The neocortex, a part of the frontal lobe, is highlighted in the script as the 'crowning achievement of human biology.' It is associated with higher cognitive functions such as reasoning and decision-making. The video explains that the neocortex operates on alpha or beta brainwave lengths and is not fully active until around the age of seven, which has implications for how children learn and are influenced by their environment.

💡Comfort zone

The 'comfort zone' is a concept that refers to a state of minimal stress and risk, where one feels at ease and in control. The video contrasts the comfort zone with the idea of personal growth, suggesting that most people struggle with the tension between seeking comfort and pursuing growth. This struggle is presented as a reason why many individuals remain stuck in mediocrity.

💡Habits

Habits are regular patterns of behavior that are often automatic and unconscious. The script discusses how habits can form from repeated actions, leading to behaviors that are hard to break. It emphasizes the importance of creating positive habits to support personal growth and success, rather than being trapped in negative patterns.

💡Conscious mind and unconscious mind

The video script differentiates between the conscious mind, which is our aware and reasoning mind, and the unconscious mind, which holds our deeper beliefs and patterns. It uses the metaphor of an ant on the back of an elephant to illustrate how the conscious mind's intentions can be overridden by the unconscious mind's habits and beliefs, leading to self-sabotage.

💡Environment

The environment is presented in the script as a powerful influence on behavior and mindset. It suggests that our surroundings can shape us more than our own willpower, using the example of someone who dislikes jazz but starts to enjoy it after being exposed to it in a car ride. The video encourages viewers to be mindful of the environment they choose to be in to support their goals.

💡Self-mastery

Self-mastery is the process of gaining control over one's mental, emotional, and behavioral tendencies to achieve personal growth and success. The video emphasizes self-mastery as the ultimate goal, suggesting that by mastering oneself, one can remain centered and effective even in challenging situations. It is presented as the key to becoming the best version of oneself and inspiring others.

💡Law of conformity

The 'law of conformity' refers to the psychological tendency to match one's behavior and attitudes to those of a group. The script uses this concept to explain how being in certain social environments can lead to adopting the group's habits and beliefs, which can either support or hinder personal growth and success.

Highlights

Intelligent and self-motivated people often procrastinate and self-sabotage despite having more resources and opportunities than ever before in history.

People with access to resources often achieve mediocre results, while those with limited resources can create remarkable success, like Colonel Sanders, Oprah, Helen Keller, and Albert Einstein.

The human nervous system is hardwired for comfort, while the essence of our being is hardwired for growth, creating a dynamic tension between comfort and potential.

The neocortex, or frontal lobe, is a key part of the human brain that operates on alpha or beta brainwave lengths and doesn't fully activate until around age seven.

Children are highly impressionable, which is why their early years are crucial in shaping their beliefs and behaviors, as highlighted by Aristotle's quote.

Negative experiences in childhood, like being told 'you're not good enough,' can lead to a lifetime of self-sabotage as people unconsciously act to confirm those beliefs.

The first law of personal growth is that people will never rise above the opinion they have of themselves, which is largely formed in childhood.

Habits are formed by repeated behaviors that the brain eventually automates, reducing the need for conscious decision-making.

The conscious mind is like an ant on the back of an elephant, representing the unconscious mind, which has a much greater impact on our actions.

The mind acts like a compass needle that can be directed by conscious will but tends to drift back to a default, often negative, direction when not actively controlled.

Environment has a powerful influence on shaping our behaviors and beliefs over time, often overcoming our conscious intentions.

Mainstream media tends to focus on negative news to capture attention, which can negatively program our minds if we consume it regularly.

To change negative programming, stop consuming media and peer group influences that do not support your potential and goals.

Expose yourself to positive, inspiring information and role models to reprogram your mind in a constructive direction.

Work with mentors or coaches who can help you identify and overcome unconscious patterns and beliefs that hinder your growth.

Self-mastery is the key to becoming the best version of yourself and inspiring others to change, as recommended by historical figures.

By mastering ourselves, we can maintain our center and effectively handle uncertainty and chaos in the world around us.

Be the embodiment of the change you wish to see in the world, as inspired by Gandhi's famous quote.

Transcripts

[Music]

you

why is it that intelligent people

procrastinates why is it that people

that are so self-motivated often

self-sabotage and why is it that no

matter how many new business

opportunities we get or new skills we

try to learn many of us just are simply

finding different ways of earning the

same amount of money or achieving the

same kind of level of success as if

there was kind of a glass ceiling above

our head that we're trying to break

through but didn't know how now one

thing we do know is that's not down the

lack of resources or opportunity we live

in a time in history where there are

more resources and opportunity than ever

before in fact there's many people that

have access to resources an opportunity

that really never get the battle to

shoulder and take a swing at life and

the results are mediocre or

disappointing and then there's other

people those who have access to

virtually no resources or no opportunity

and against all of the odds went out and

created magic for the rest of us to go

WOW and stand in or off people like

Colonel Sanders who retired broke at 65

before starting KFC obviously Oprah

people like Helen Keller or even Albert

Einstein who dropped out of school at 15

and then failed the entrance exam for

the Zurich Polytechnic no you see if you

want to masterclass in taking away the

excuse that resources and opportunity

are the root reason why you are not

successful go study any of the lives of

the people on screen we see as human

beings a nervous system is hardwired for

comfort whereas the essence of what

makes us us some would say our soul is

hardwired for growth and it's managing

that dynamic tension between how good a

comfort zone feels and the innate

calling of our potential that lies

outside of that that causes the

frustration for most people and keeps

them on that hamster wheel of mediocrity

so how do we unravel that well let's

look at the human brain see what

separates us from almost all of the

animal kingdom the crowning achievement

of human biology is the front part of

the brain once known as the neocortex of

the frontal lobe and that neocortex

operates at a brave way a brain wave

length of alpha or beta on one of the

challenges is

that that doesn't get turned on until

we're about seven years old

see kids operate in Belser and theatres

which is why babies sleep so much my

kids live in that magical fantasy world

where they're operating a theater with

no critical thinking now it also means

children are very impressionable and why

Aristotle is widely quoted as saying

that give me the child for seven years

and I'll give you the man but what

happens when we drill down on that why

is that important to why we

procrastinate or self-sabotage well I'll

give you an example let's say his dad's

turn to take little Johnny shopping and

the kids and you know mom's busy that

day and he's kind of frustrated he's got

to go out and get the job done and yeah

one thing you need to know about dad

he's got his own stuff to deal with

right now he's figuring out how to pay

the credit card bill that was higher

this month than he thought

he's worried about whether the boss is

going to be downsizing soon and he's

still reeling from the lack of intimacy

that morning caused by a fight that he

had with his wife he's dealing with the

stuff as we all do now little Johnny

doesn't live in that world and so when

they get to the checkout now as every

good retail psychologist knows they

place the products at the eye height of

the people you're trying to sell to and

so Johnny sees the toys and Johnny wants

the toy he's like daddy daddy can I have

a toy and daddy comes out of his you

know mine frog and says no you can't

have a toy for starting doesn't think

you can afford it but that's now it's

just not the time but as parents will

understand children are prime examples

of the ability to be persistent

are they not so little joyousness daddy

daddy I want a toy please can I have a

toy see little Johnny doesn't live in a

world of credit-card debt and in his

frustration on dealing with his stuff

and trying to handle the kids and all

the other stuff daddy's snaps out and

says listen you can't have a toy you

don't deserve it you're not good enough

not being you're not behaved enough

today and daddy thinks that'll just keep

him quiet while he goes back to dealing

with his you know big world problems but

what's happening right now is quite

significant you see little Johnny

doesn't hear

that's frustration all Johnny hears is

that I'm not good enough I'm not worth

it and I'm undeserving and probably

spends a large

the rest of his life unconsciously

acting out that behavior to justify why

he's right including self sabotaging if

the threat of success comes along to

challenge that in a model of the world

you see when it comes to being able to

work with psychology and after thousands

of hours of working with people all over

the world I've come to know that the

undisputed first law in

psychotherapeutic intervention in other

areas the undisputed first law of

personal growth is this that people will

never rise above the opinion of

themselves now one of the challenge is

that opinion is largely formed in our

childhood years sub 7 from the

perception of where we think we did or

didn't get love from the people we most

wanted it from hmm I usually let people

sit with that one for a while it also

mirrors the first law of relationships

which I firmly believe states that no

one can never love us more than we love

ourselves now one of the other

challenges on that is that we are also

creatures of habit now what does that

mean that means that that prefrontal

cortex

now that neocortex that frontal lobe

that serves all of that executive

decision-making is prime real estate in

fact the brain waves 150th of the

bodyweight but takes up 20% of all of

the calories so when it comes to using

that frontal lobe evolution has some

shortcuts it says well clearly you're

using intelligence to make the decision

so it should be a good decision so when

you choose the fries instead of the

salad it doesn't care it's job is to

adapt and if you make that decision over

and over again then rather than take up

critical thinking which is meant to

serve you intelligently it hands it over

to the midbrain and it becomes an

unconscious behavior or pattern or what

we also call a habit see now you order

the fries just because it's what you do

you don't even question it now that can

be very useful when it comes to learning

yeah or not learning how to have to walk

every day but it also said

some challenges you see we suddenly

arrive at work on our day off we don't

know why or you know we suddenly get

home and realized where did the last two

kilometres or two miles of driving go

Wow how did I avoid all of the crazies

good old midbrain at work but the deeper

challenge to that as creatures of habit

is the fact that we're using our

conscious brain only a small amount of

the time that critical decision-making

the rest of the time like 95% of the

time is what I call people sleeping

awake if I'll give you an analogy why do

you imagine that the conscious mind is

an ant here he is cute little fella

answer industrious they're hard-working

they're determined they're gonna get the

job done this is your conscious mind in

fact this particular ant went to a

person development seminar last week he

set his goals and he's marching north

confidently in the direction of his

achievements the problem is he's

marching over the back of an elephant

that's heading south unconscious mind

with all of our limiting patterns

limiting beliefs on all of the other

unresolved self issues that go on there

we start to see why we self-sabotage see

how do you get that elephant moving in

the right direction well let me give you

another example another analogy the mind

is like a compass needle in fact it can

only point in one direction at a time

but when we're operating from our aunt's

that five percent of the time where

we're conscious and using free will we

can grab that compass needle we can

point it anywhere that's what freewill

allows us to do if we're feeling down we

can go choose to watch a comedy or call

a friend who can cheer us up if we're

feeling low on energy we can go put the

kettle on and make ourselves a coffee or

a drink but 95% of the time we're not

doing that and as soon as we let a hand

off of that compass needle consciously

it will always drift back to its default

magnetic north which unfortunately for

most people is more negative than

positive seem and that leads us to our

third challenge and that is something

you may want to really tattoo on the

inside of your eyelids

and that is that environment Trump's

will what do I mean by that I mean the

our intention will always be beaten by

our environment over time for example

let's say that yeah you're a music fan

but you don't like jazz yeah it's for

the other people you're kind of a

country-and-western kind of guy or girl

and you listen to Country and Western in

the car going to work but your car's

broken down this week so your good

neighbor around the corner that works at

the same place has offered to give you a

lift so you're going to share the

45-minute drive to work and back for the

next five days but they listen to jazz

now I don't care what you think

consciously within three days I know

what's going to happen within three days

in the car you're tapping your feet to

the beat within five days you're humming

it in the shower you see we don't get to

choose whether or not we get programmed

with programmable by design we can only

choose how we want to be programmed

another way of saying that is you can

have all of the intention to be as warm

and hot as you like you can raise your

body temperature you can like put on

some big clothes but if you choose to

live in a freezer the environment is

gonna win over time in other words you

can read all of the positive

affirmations you can stand in front of

the mirror and say that you believe in

yourself but if you live with somebody

who is constantly pulling you down

somebody who is reminding you of why

you're not good enough and why it won't

work at some point you're gonna start to

believe it there's the law of conformity

if you hang out with nine recreational

drug users I've got news for you you're

most likely going to become the tenth if

you hang out with nine positive people

that look at life through the lens of

how we can why we can't to hold up a

mirror for each other's greatness to be

midwives to each other's dreams instead

of stealing them you're likely going to

become the tenth or you'll leave the

environment

it's the ninety five percent law of the

law of conformity so how do we change

that well there's three tips that I want

to share with you that will help turn

this around you know and I'm pretty

simple guy so I want to give you some

pretty simple tips

and I'm breaking into three things the

first is stop putting the wrong things

in you see as I said we are adapting

machines our bodies our physical bodies

adapt to our environment we don't get to

choose that we only get to choose the

environment we put them in if it's the

gym or McDonald's the body doesn't care

is job is to adapt but it's the same

with our mind so stop putting the wrong

programming in in other words if you

think of the two biggest things that

impact us unconsciously more than

anything else it's the mainstream media

and our peer group of who we hang with

let's touch all the media for a second

now for those of you that still think

that the mainstream media is about

reporting the news I Got News for you

you're in Disneyland see the job of the

media is not to report the news you're

kidding me

the job of the mainstream media is to

stimulate another part of the brain

called the amygdala which is designed

evolutionarily to notice negative before

positive so that they can hook your

attention out of the mass of the crowd

and record you as a viewing statistic to

justify rate cards and advertising the

media is not a charity so I haven't

watched a news report or read a

newspaper for pretty much seventeen

years now yeah

for those of you that still watch things

like visit CNN constant negative news

mm-hmm I've got news for you all right

from what I understand it's all the same

news it's the same news it was 17 years

ago it's just happening to different

people and so you cannot watch the news

and be positive it's like saying I want

to be healthy and I smoke just doesn't

work you can go to the gym as many times

as you want but if you're smoking you

can't be healthy it's a binary equation

and if you're being programmed by the

mainstream media you can't have that

default magnetic north move away from

being negative is constant programming

people say well how do you know what's

going on in the world not you kidding me

yeah everything's going on in the world

a far better question would be what do

you want to choose to focus on think of

the Amazon rainforest at night yeah

everything's going on but the media want

to take your little flashlight in your

hand and point is that oh my goodness

look at this it's a snake eating a rat

versus you saying yeah but

have a look at this hummingbird being

born it's it's a choice so I have no

clue what's going on in the world I have

every clue what's going on in my world

and if something's important enough

it'll find me so stop programming

yourself with why the world won't work

and start taking charge of where you

point your flashlight now the other

thing is about peer group now some

people say yeah I could probably change

my friends and some of us maybe should

but I can't change my family yeah my

brother is the most negative person I

know my mother-in-law's always telling

me I'm not good enough for her son or

whatever it may be well I know that we

can't change our family and you know

looking at the reasons why you chose

your parents is a another TED talk but

the best advice I can give is love your

family choose your friends now the

second thing start putting the right

things in now we live in a time in

society where there's so much great

information whether it's a podcast

whether it's inspirational interviews

whether it's you know books or the lives

of some of the people we looked at

earlier every single day or at least

every single week if you want to take

your compass needle and start remag

Nitai zhing it in a positive direction

by exposing yourself to the kind of

information that supports your potential

and your greatness on where you want to

go now there's no excuse for not being

able to do that now in a society where

it's so available but if you're not

choosing to do that by default you're

going to be hooked into somebody else's

agenda and if you don't start filming as

the star of the movie in your life by

default you're going to end up as a film

extra in somebody else's and then the

third point get the things that

shouldn't be in there out what do I mean

by that you know work with a decent

mentor or a coach that understands how

to navigate the minefield of human

behavior somebody that isn't just going

to teach you skills but somebody that

can reach in and find those unconscious

patterns and be able to rip them out for

good I'll give you an example I had a

client come to me a while back who said

I want to learn time management now a

normal coach or what-have-you would

probably teach them some good time

management skills but within two minutes

it was easy to see that time management

wasn't the issue the real issue was his

inability to deal with rejection and

therefore he was saying yeah he wasn't

saying no to people because by saying no

it would trigger a rejection response

and therefore he was saying yes to too

many things and therefore there was too

much on his calendar and therefore he

thought he needed time management you

get the idea

you see when we're able to start

addressing things like our unconscious

programming when we start to create the

best habits that we can by programming

ourselves consciously when we start

grabbing that compass needle and

bringing it over to the right direction

so that the 95 percent of the time was

sleeping awake we're able to be who we

need to be that's when we can start to

achieve the real game in town which is

self mastery see before you spend

another penny on workshops or skills or

anything work on yourself

see mastering the game of self

throughout human history has been the

number one recommendation of virtually

everybody that achieved it and then

preached the benefits of it to people

that usually weren't listening but by

mastering our sense of self we're able

to walk into a room where everything's

descending into chaos and retain our

Center when everything's breaking down

around us with the eye of the storm it's

like move I'll handle it

see that's the best way that you'll be

able to handle uncertainty and when we

commit to self mastery we give ourselves

the best shot of becoming the best and

greatest versions of ourself that we can

be and then we get to become the example

and the invitation to others not the

imposition nobody changes because you

tell them to people change because

they're inspired to change and we can

only inspire them by being the example

and the invitation and at that point we

have a chance of being able to really

make a change in this world make a

difference which is what the world needs

right now and ultimately be the

embodiment of what Gandhi said which was

to be the change you wish to see in the

world thank you God

you

[Music]

you