Harrison Laine's Twilight Review
Summary
TLDRThe script is a passionate critique of the evolution of vampire lore, particularly targeting the 'Twilight' series for diluting the traditional dark and fearsome image of vampires. It laments the shift from the classic, menacing figures like Dracula to the romanticized, sparkly vampires of modern pop culture. The narrator humorously recounts the plot of 'Twilight,' poking fun at its characters and storyline, and expresses a longing for a return to the more serious and sinister portrayal of vampires.
Takeaways
- đ§ The speaker reminisces about the traditional portrayal of vampires as cool, blood-sucking creatures that didn't care about the consequences of their actions.
- đ The script mentions 'Dracula' as the epitome of a classic vampire, being hypnotizing, spellbinding, and evil.
- đŹ The speaker criticizes the 'Twilight' series, released in 2005, for changing the perception of vampires and making them less serious and cool.
- đ The success of the 'Twilight' book series is highlighted, pointing out its widespread influence and the speaker's disdain for its popularity.
- đ§ The character Bella is introduced as a girl who moves to live with her father and later meets a vampire named Edward.
- đ€·ââïž Edward is described as trying to emulate James Dean but failing, and the speaker finds his character and the script to be distasteful.
- đš The speaker mocks the plot point where Bella has to research to find out that Edward is a vampire, questioning the need for research given the obvious signs.
- âš The script humorously points out the unrealistic portrayal of vampires in 'Twilight', including the fact that they sparkle in sunlight.
- đș The 'Twilight' vampires are depicted as not killing humans but instead killing animals for their blood, which the speaker finds hypocritical.
- đ The speaker expresses frustration with the romantic storyline between Bella and Edward and the subsequent sequels that follow their relationship.
- đ The ending of the script suggests that if the main characters of 'Twilight' were killed off, there would be no need for the numerous sequels, comparing it to the 'Jurassic Park' series.
Q & A
What is the main complaint about the portrayal of vampires in the script?
-The script criticizes the portrayal of vampires as being overly romanticized and less threatening, particularly in the Twilight series, which is seen as having drained the 'coolness' and seriousness traditionally associated with vampires.
Who is mentioned as the epitome of a traditional vampire?
-Dracula is mentioned as the greatest vampire who ever lived or died, embodying the qualities of being hypnotizing, spellbinding, and evil.
What is the year when Twilight was first introduced as a book series?
-Twilight was first introduced as a book series in 2005.
How does the script describe the character Bella in Twilight?
-Bella is described as a girl who moves to live with her father after her mother remarries, and she meets Edward, a vampire, at her new school.
What is the main criticism of the character Edward in the Twilight series?
-Edward is criticized for being a poor representation of a vampire, being overly romantic and not displaying the traditional traits of a vampire, such as being a threat or having a dark allure.
What is the script's opinion on the vampire's diet in the Twilight series?
-The script criticizes the Twilight series for having vampires who do not kill humans but instead kill animals and drink their blood, which is seen as an unrealistic and overly sanitized portrayal of vampires.
What is the script's view on the addition of sparkles to vampires in the Twilight series?
-The script mocks the idea of vampires sparkling in the sunlight, as it is seen as a ridiculous and unfaithful addition to the traditional vampire lore.
What is the script's suggestion for ending the Twilight series?
-The script humorously suggests that if the main characters were killed off, there would be no need for any sequels, implying that the series is undeserving of continuation.
How does the script compare the Twilight series to the Harry Potter series?
-The script suggests that the first Harry Potter movie was better than all the Twilight movies combined, and that the Twilight series is inferior in quality and storytelling.
What is the script's final verdict on the Twilight series?
-The script concludes that the Twilight series is a piece of trash, expressing strong disapproval of its romanticized portrayal of vampires and its impact on the vampire genre.
What is the script's opinion on the popularity of the Twilight series despite its perceived flaws?
-The script acknowledges the financial success of the Twilight series at the box office but criticizes its quality, suggesting that popularity does not equate to quality.
Outlines
đ§ The Twilight Effect on Vampire Imagery
This paragraph discusses the transformation of the traditional vampire image from the menacing and feared figures, exemplified by Dracula, to the more romanticized and less threatening versions popularized by the Twilight series. The speaker expresses disappointment with the shift in vampire portrayal, criticizing the Twilight series for its impact on the genre, making vampires appear more like characters in a romance novel than the feared creatures of the night. The paragraph also mocks the plot elements of Twilight, such as the protagonist Bella's move to live with her father, her meeting with Edward who is portrayed as a modern James Dean, and the subsequent uncovering of his vampire identity. The critique extends to the unnatural behaviors of the vampires in the series, such as sparkling in sunlight and abstaining from human blood, which further deviates from the classic vampire lore.
đ A Critique of Twilight's Impact and Reception
The second paragraph continues the critique of the Twilight series, focusing on the negative emotions it evokes in the speaker and the perceived poor quality of its characters and plot. The speaker contrasts the reactions to the death of a character in the Harry Potter series versus that of a character in Twilight, expressing joy at the latter's demise. The paragraph also touches on the broader implications of the Twilight series' success, suggesting that it has overshadowed other works and contributed to a decline in the quality of vampire-themed media. The speaker ends with a strong negative sentiment towards the Twilight fanbase and the series itself, advocating for the cessation of such movies and expressing a preference for other film genres, such as action films like The Expendables, over the romanticized vampire narratives.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄVampires
đĄDracula
đĄTwilight
đĄBella
đĄEdward
đĄSparkles in the Sun
đĄProm
đĄVenom
đĄRebel Without a Cause
đĄHarry Potter
đĄThe Expendables
Highlights
The speaker reminisces about the traditional image of vampires as fearsome and lethal beings, referencing Dracula as an epitome of this image.
The year 2005 is marked as the turning point when the perception of vampires changed, with the emergence of the Twilight series.
The speaker criticizes Twilight for its success, suggesting it has negatively impacted the vampire genre.
Bella's character is introduced, who moves to live with her father after her mother remarries, setting the stage for the Twilight storyline.
Edward is described as a character attempting to emulate James Dean, which the speaker finds unconvincing.
The speaker mocks the implausibility of Bella needing research to discover Edward's vampire nature.
The concept of vampires sparkling in the sunlight is highlighted as absurd and contrary to traditional vampire lore.
The speaker questions the logic of vampires in Twilight not killing humans, instead choosing to drink animal blood.
A critique of the plot involving Bella's mother being kidnapped and the subsequent rescue by Edward's family.
Bella's desire to become a vampire is mentioned, along with Edward's refusal, prolonging the series.
The speaker expresses frustration at the presence of a vampire watching Bella and Edward during prom, questioning the logic of the scene.
A comparison is made between the Twilight and Harry Potter series, with the latter being favored for its quality.
The speaker suggests that the death of the main characters in Twilight would have prevented the sequels, drawing a parallel to the Jurassic Park series.
A preference for watching The Expendables over Twilight movies is expressed, indicating the speaker's disdain for the Twilight series.
The speaker calls for an end to the production of Twilight sequels, emphasizing their distaste for the series.
The speaker humorously suggests that the actor who plays Edward Cullen should be killed off in the Harry Potter series to prevent his involvement in Twilight.
A final verdict is given, with the speaker expressing strong disapproval of Twilight and its impact on the vampire genre.
Transcripts
remember how cool vampires used to be
they suck blood killed people and didn't
give two shits about it first thing that
comes to mind about vampires Dracula the
greatest vampire who ever lived or dead
I don't know but he still kicked ass he
was hypnotizing spellbinding and evil
vampires were always taken seriously
over the years well that's recently it's
not serious enough a movie that came and
ruined it for everybody something even
worse than Tom Cruise as a vampire the
year was 2005 the Year Twilight came as
a book series draining any amount of
coolness that vampires had to offer and
if it wasn't bad enough it was so
successful I mean successful that the
book spot in the movie [Â __Â ] you and as
in the year 2011 the first thing that
we're gonna remember about vampires is
Twilight what the hell did we do to
deserve this torture oh yeah the people
who bought the books who decide to make
it a [Â __Â ] head why God why what did we
ever do to you oh yeah right so there's
this girl named Bella ghost to live with
her father after her mother remarries a
baseball player he wanted to be with
somebody who was talented because
everybody who watches the twilight movie
knows that talent is hard to come by
than a four-leaf clover she goes to a
new school and meets a guy named Edward
who is trying to pull off himself as
James Dean if they were [Â __Â ]
butchering him to death put those two
together and you get the jar jar binks
of vampires as first he seems disgusted
by her it's not so much her he actually
smelled the script and knew it was bad
and the disgust was pretty much on his
own so after a number of stupid scenes
he seized her from being hit by a van
topping it with his hand why couldn't he
just labor to die let her get hits the
movie will be over quicker but life
wants to kill me so after she does many
many days of research she finds out that
she's a vampire why the [Â __Â ] would you
need to do research do you really need
to do research to find out he's a
[Â __Â ] vampire I mean look at him he's
pale never comes to school on sunny days
and he stops a moving vehicle with his
bare hands what more [Â __Â ] proof do
you need and if this movie series
couldn't possibly [Â __Â ] of vampires
forever Edward [Â __Â ] sparkles in the
Sun you all that right he [Â __Â ]
sparkles in the sunlight [Â __Â ] yeah so
they fall in love and Edward shows Bella
his family who are also vampires over a
million years old like the idea for this
film series oh and in case you didn't
know this they don't kill humans and eat
them wait they drink blood I don't know
I never had blood before instead they
kill animals and drink their blood you
hear that Peter you give us humans a
hard time about killing animals and
eating them there are vampires are
literally killing animals and drinking
their blood go [Â __Â ] to them we eat
their meat don't really know how that's
better but it's better than picking up a
bunny and sucking up their blood so
there are these other vampires who find
out about the romance between Bella and
Edward and so these guys set out a trap
for Bella and she hears that her
mother's been kidnapped why would they
say that her mom's kidnapped her dad's
close by to [Â __Â ] is wrong with these
vampires are they the dumb asses of
vampires so Edward and his family come
just in time after the vampires end up
biting bella and edward has to suck up
the venom from her and kill the other
vampires horrible so Bella and Edward
end up going to the prom together why
the hell would he go to the public place
he's a [Â __Â ] vampire Bella in the
meantime tries to express her desire to
become a vampire ask for death you
wouldn't have to be in any of these
shitty movies but Edward says no so we
have to endure more [Â __Â ] Twilight
movies what really bothers me is that
there's a vampire watching them during
prom why don't you kill them both [Â __Â ]
if the main characters were dead that
will be any shitty sequel like if all
the dinosaurs and the first dress apart
and all the main characters there
wouldn't be a lost world jurassic park
god the world will have to endure shity
shity shity shity sequels my verdict why
like [Â __Â ] sucks the other thing is
[Â __Â ] stupid it's a movie about
[Â __Â ] vampire not a vampire version of
rebel without a [Â __Â ] cause vampires
are supposed to [Â __Â ] suck blood not
sparkle in the [Â __Â ] sunlight does the
other really see vampires in a better
light they're supposed to be badass why
was it put a vampire like a romance
novel did you really look at them parts
and she was like vampires and humans
should be in love [Â __Â ] you but it was
the producers fault they wanted to fight
[Â __Â ] the author enough to make a movie
about her books did you think of the
twilight moves will be better than the
Harry Potter movies because let's be
honest the first harry potter movie was
berthoud all the twilight movies
combined and the first harry potter
movie was the worst one movie goes out
there stop watching these [Â __Â ]
horrible movies it's big gold at the box
office I've never seen the [Â __Â ]
Expendables that's right I said it I'd
rather go see the expendables than the
Twilight movies is for those of you who
didn't know the guy who plays edward
cullen what's in the fourth harry potter
movie when he dies in that movie I was
like but when I saw twilight when he
died I was like yeah oh joy but as if
all too much just come out of harry
potter and kill edward cullen i mean he
did in the harry potter movie not only
edward but everybody who was involved in
Twilight he'd be doing everybody a
[Â __Â ] favor bottom line Twilight is a
piece of to [Â __Â ] you twilighters [Â __Â ]
you very hard
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)