How to STOP Obsessing Over Someone and START Letting Go (Best Relationship Advice)

Summary

This video script humorously addresses the misconceptions about relationships, drawing parallels to the lack of formal education on finances. It emphasizes the importance of learning relationship skills, debunking the myth of obsessive love portrayed in media. The speaker outlines three types of love: dependent, codependent, and interdependent, advocating for the mature love of interdependence where both partners maintain individuality while enhancing each other. The script encourages viewers to pursue a relationship dynamic that respects freedom and individual growth, rather than one based on possession or obsession.

Takeaways

• 😀 Relationships and finances are often not taught, leading to a need for learning and seeking advice.
• 📚 Many people feel embarrassed seeking relationship advice, especially men, due to societal norms.
• 🎥 Society often gets relationship advice from media like television and movies, which can be misleading.
• 💔 The Disney fairy tale portrayal of love as mutual obsession is not a healthy model for real relationships.
• 🔗 Being over-attached or obsessed with something, including people, usually leads to worse outcomes, not better.
• 🤔 Over-attachment can cause nervousness and self-doubt, which can be off-putting in various situations.
• 🚫 The energy of neediness and insecurity can be repulsive and is often perceived as a lack of confidence.
• ❤️ Osho's book 'Intimacy' suggests there are three types of love: dependent love, codependent love, and interdependent love.
• 🔄 Dependent and codependent love are less mature forms and can lead to possessiveness and control issues.
• 🌐 Interdependent love is the mature form where both individuals are self-sufficient and choose to be together, enhancing each other's lives.
• 🌅 The importance of enjoying shared experiences without distraction and the need for trust in a relationship.
• 🆓 The fundamental human need for freedom is greater than the need for love, and relationships should not compromise this freedom.

Q & A

Why do people often feel embarrassed to seek relationship advice?

People often feel embarrassed to seek relationship advice because they believe they should be naturally good at relationships, similar to the way they might feel about finances, where they think they should intuitively know how to manage money without being taught.

What is the common misconception about love that the speaker wants to dispel in the video?

The common misconception the speaker wants to dispel is that being obsessed with someone or being overly attached to them is the way to create true love. The speaker argues that this approach can actually lead to worse results.

What are the three main points discussed in the video regarding relationships?

The three main points discussed are: 1) Over attachment often leads to worse results, 2) Most people have a flawed idea of what a relationship should be, and 3) The importance of understanding the different types of love and the need for freedom in a relationship.

Why does being over attached to something not yield better results according to the video?

Being over attached to something can lead to worse results because it causes people to get in their own heads, act nervously, and not be themselves, which can be off-putting to others.

What is the difference between dependent love and codependent love according to Osho's book 'Intimacy'?

Dependent love is when one person values the other more than themselves, often leading to obsession and a lack of reciprocation. Codependent love is when both people are equally obsessed with each other, which can lead to unhealthy clinginess and a lack of individual freedom.

What is the highest form of love according to the video?

The highest form of love is interdependence, where both individuals are self-sufficient and choose to come together to create a magnified entity that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Why is freedom considered a higher need than love in the context of relationships?

Freedom is a higher need than love because no one wants to be possessed in a relationship. People want to be loved but also maintain their individuality and autonomy.

What does the video suggest as an alternative approach to being overly attached in a relationship?

The video suggests an alternative approach of being more detached from the outcome and going with the flow, which can lead to better results as it respects the freedom and individuality of both parties.

What is the role of self-improvement in attracting better relationships according to the video?

Self-improvement plays a crucial role in attracting better relationships because it helps individuals become the best version of themselves, thereby attracting opportunities and people who are on the same level.

How does the video relate the idea of 'neediness' to the types of love discussed?

The video relates 'neediness' to dependent and codependent love, where individuals are overly attached and obsessed with their partners, which can be repulsive and lead to a lack of freedom in the relationship.

What is the main takeaway from the video regarding how to approach relationships?

The main takeaway is to approach relationships with an understanding of the different types of love, prioritizing interdependence and freedom over dependence and codependence, and to focus on self-improvement to attract healthier and more fulfilling relationships.