I wasted my 30s...
Summary
TLDRThe speaker, a 35-year-old man, reflects on the stagnancy of his life despite significant changes like moving countries and relationships. He feels trapped in his childhood bedroom, unable to escape his past. Despite various attempts at finding a career and purpose, he repeatedly faces failure and disappointment. His ventures into different countries and relationships have not provided the anticipated solutions, and he struggles with the fear of wasting his life. The speaker is grappling with the realization that change is not always permanent and is searching for a meaningful direction in life.
Takeaways
- đ The speaker feels that despite life's changes, they always end up back in their childhood bedroom, suggesting a lack of permanent progress.
- đ At 35, the speaker compares their current situation to when they were 15, noting no significant improvements in their life, which is a source of sadness.
- đ« The speaker observes others around them making progress in life, such as getting married, advancing in careers, and acquiring possessions, which contrasts with their own stagnation.
- đ The speaker has experienced drastic life changes like moving to different countries and serious relationships, but these have been temporary and not leading to lasting change.
- đź Despite various attempts at change, the speaker finds themselves back to their old habits, such as playing video games in their childhood room, with no substantial achievements.
- đ° The speaker feels they have made no financial progress and lacks the motivation or direction to improve their situation.
- đ¶ââïž The speaker has spent their 20s traveling and seeking relationships without finding a meaningful or lasting connection.
- đ The speaker has considered further education or a new career but lacks the interest or determination to follow through.
- đš The speaker has had aspirations to be a professional artist but faced rejection and criticism that led to giving up on that career path.
- đŒ The speaker has tried various dream jobs and careers, including being a YouTuber and a stock trader, but has not found success or satisfaction in any.
- đ The speaker has considered moving to a new country as a solution to their problems, but realizes that relocation does not inherently solve personal issues.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the speaker's life experience as described in the transcript?
-The main theme is the struggle with change and the feeling of being stuck in life, despite experiencing significant events and changes.
How does the speaker describe the impact of moving to a different country on their life?
-The speaker views moving to a different country as a temporary fix that doesn't permanently solve their problems, and they eventually feel homesick and face the same issues they had in their home country.
What is the speaker's perspective on the saying 'the only constant thing in life is change'?
-The speaker disagrees with the saying, arguing that in their life, the only constant is the feeling of returning to their childhood bedroom and not being able to escape their past.
What does the speaker feel when comparing their current life to when they were 15 years old?
-The speaker feels a sense of stagnation and disappointment, as they perceive no significant improvements or progress in their life from when they were 15 to their current age of 35.
Why does the speaker feel that their attempts to find a partner in Japan were unsuccessful?
-The speaker's attempts were unsuccessful because the relationships they formed were short-term and didn't lead to anything meaningful or long-lasting.
What career aspirations has the speaker pursued and how did they fare?
-The speaker has pursued various careers such as a Japanese translator, anime/manga artist, YouTuber, and stock trader, but they found each to be challenging and ultimately felt they failed at all of them.
How does the speaker view their artistic abilities and attempts to become a professional artist?
-The speaker believes they have some artistic talent, but their attempts to become a professional artist were met with criticism and rejection, which led to them giving up on that career path.
What is the speaker's attitude towards the idea of moving to a new country to solve their problems?
-The speaker has realized that moving to a new country is not a solution to their problems, as the same issues tend to follow them and they end up dealing with additional challenges related to living abroad.
What challenges does the speaker face when trying to establish a life in a foreign country?
-The speaker faces challenges such as finding affordable housing, dealing with a foreign language, and managing visa issues, which add to their stress and sense of being stuck.
How does the speaker's experience with relationships reflect their overall life struggles?
-The speaker's relationships, like other aspects of their life, tend to be short-lived and unfulfilling, mirroring their struggle to find stability and progress in life.
What is the speaker's current outlook on life and their future prospects?
-The speaker feels jaded and bitter, with a sense of hopelessness about their future, as they have not yet found something they enjoy doing and are good at that can provide a decent livelihood.
Outlines
đ Struggling with Life's Perceived Stagnation
The speaker, a 35-year-old man, reflects on the adage that change is the only constant in life, but feels that his life has not seen any lasting changes. Despite significant life events like moving to another country, getting married, and forming serious relationships, he finds himself back in his childhood bedroom, feeling as if he's been pulled back by an 'elastic band.' He compares his current situation with his life 20 years ago, noting no substantial progress in terms of financial stability, relationships, or personal growth. He expresses sadness and frustration at seeing others advance in life while he feels stuck. The speaker also regrets spending his 20s traveling to Japan in search of relationships without any meaningful outcomes, and he laments his inability to maintain interest or determination in pursuing education or career paths, including dreams of being a Japanese translator, anime/manga artist, YouTuber, and stock trader, all of which he has attempted and failed at.
đš Artistic Aspirations and the Reality of Failure
The speaker recounts his experience attempting to become a professional artist, creating drawings for a book based on a contract. Despite his best efforts and the initial praise of others, the business partner found his work unsatisfactory, criticizing the proportions and overall quality. This rejection deeply affected the speaker, leading him to abandon the idea of paid illustrations. He expresses a preference for drawing for personal enjoyment rather than under the constraints of client expectations. The speaker reflects on his 15-year journey of trying various endeavors, each ending in failure and disappointment, which has led to a sense of resignation and a reluctance to pursue new challenges. He also discusses the futility of moving to a new country as a means to escape personal issues, as the same problems tend to resurface. The speaker is clinging to optimism, hoping to find a career that combines enjoyment and financial stability, but acknowledges the dwindling time and energy as he grows older.
đ The Descent into Jaded Resignation
In the final paragraph, the speaker conveys a deepening sense of bitterness and negativity about life. Despite past failures and the ongoing struggle to find a fulfilling career or activity, he is trying to maintain a positive outlook. The speaker is aware of the toll that his feelings of failure and disappointment are taking on his mental state and is making a conscious effort not to let these emotions completely consume him. The summary ends on a note of the speaker's ongoing battle with his own mindset as he navigates through life's challenges.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄChange
đĄElastic Band
đĄChildhood Bedroom
đĄStagnation
đĄRelationships
đĄCareer Aspirations
đĄFailure
đĄIndependence
đĄHomesickness
đĄOptimism
đĄMiddle Age
Highlights
The speaker feels that despite popular belief, change in life is not permanent, as they often find themselves back in their childhood bedroom after significant life events.
At 35, the speaker feels stuck in life, comparing their current situation to when they were 15, with no significant progress or changes made.
The speaker expresses frustration with their lack of career, relationships, and financial stability, feeling like they have made no improvements over the years.
Despite witnessing others around them making progress in life, the speaker feels they have not moved forward and questions why they cannot make improvements.
The speaker reflects on their 20s as wasted, spent traveling to Japan and engaging in short-term relationships without any meaningful progress.
In their 30s, the speaker feels they are on track to repeat the mistakes of their 20s, with no new achievements or direction in life.
The speaker admits to a lack of interest and determination to pursue education or a career, often giving up on courses after a few weeks.
The speaker has had multiple dream jobs and careers that they pursued but ultimately felt were too difficult and challenging, leading to failure.
A past opportunity to create artwork for a book ended in disappointment when the business partner rejected the work, crushing the speaker's confidence.
The speaker enjoys drawing but dislikes being told what to draw or how to draw it, especially when it involves financial compensation.
After over 15 years of trying different things, the speaker has not found something they are good at and enjoy doing, leading to feelings of failure and disappointment.
The speaker has tried moving to different countries in search of change and progress, but ultimately realizes that relocation does not fix underlying issues.
Despite the challenges and setbacks, the speaker remains hopeful and optimistic about eventually finding something they enjoy and are good at that can provide a decent income.
The speaker acknowledges the passage of time and the diminishing energy to pursue new endeavors as they get older, leading to feelings of being jaded and bitter.
The speaker discusses the difficulties of adjusting to life in a new country, including language barriers, homesickness, and visa issues.
The speaker's experience of relying on a partner in a foreign country made them feel like they lost independence and contributed to feelings of inadequacy.
Transcripts
there's a popular saying that goes the
only constant thing in life is change
but as someone who's 35 years old now I
can speak for my own life experience
that nothing really changes permanently
at least for example I might have
drastic Life Changes like moving to a
different country getting married having
some kind of serious relationship where
we live together but it only lasts for a
few years at Max and then I'm back here
back into my bedroom my childhood
bedroom where I grew up in and it's like
back to Square One sometimes it feels
like I'm attached to this massive
elastic band and every time I try to
make progress moving forwards I can only
make progress up until the point where
the elastic band can't stretch anymore
it snaps me back and it pings me back to
my starting point in life which is my
childhood bedroom I feel like the only
constant in my life is that I can never
escape the clutches of my childhood
bedroom and I somehow always end up back
here so if you compare myself now as a
35-year-old man to 20 years ago when I
was only 15 years old literally nothing
has changed I'm in the same room I'm in
the same corner of the bedroom I'm
sitting here playing video games on my
computer and I've got barely any money
I've got no job I've got no girlfriend
I've got no car I've got no property I
don't own anything of value and I'm
still living in my parents' house
there's like zero change compared to
15-year-old me and 35-year-old me and I
feel like that's a little bit sad
sometimes sometimes it just feels like
everyone I know everyone around me is
either getting married getting their own
place getting a car getting new jobs or
promotions in jobs or making advances in
their jobs so they can make more money
and there's big improvements in their
life compared to a few years ago and I'm
sitting here feeling like I have made
zero improvements I've got less money
than I've had before and I just can't
help but feel like Life's a little bit
unfair for me why can't I make any
improvements in life why can't I move
forwards and then stay in the place I've
moved forward into instead of regressing
backwards every time so basically I
wasted my 20s just meaninglessly
traveling to Japan over and over again
trying to find a wife or trying to get a
girlfriend having these very short-term
pointless relationships that didn't
really lead anywhere didn't really give
me anything new that I could use later
in life they just were bit of fun like
short-term fun and then it got toxic and
then I had to end it or get out of it
somehow and I spent my entire 20s just
mesing around I guess trying to find out
or figure out what I want to do in life
without even finding out what I want to
do in life now I'm in my 30s halfway
through my 30s on track to also
completely wasting my 30s so I've done
nothing new in my 30s compared to my 20s
I've just done the same traveling to
Japan traveling to random countries
getting into relationships that I
thought would lead somewhere but
ultimately didn't lead anywhere and I'm
thinking to myself how long can this
possibly continue at some point in my
life I'm going to be like 40 something
50 something and I would have wasted my
20s and I wasted my 30s and eventually
it's going to reach a point where I've
wasted so much time in my life it's
going to catch up to me and there's
going to be some severe negative
consequences where I just kind of messed
up my entire life and people keep saying
to me it's not too late you can go and
study a degree study a trade start
getting a career the problem is I don't
know what to study I am not interested
in anything and I don't have the
willpower or the determination to
actually start a course and finish it I
have started courses in the past and I
just got bored and I quit after a few
weeks so I know from my own personal
track record anything that's difficult
and challenging I will just give up and
find a reason or an excuse why I don't
want to do it anymore and it'll just be
a waste of time and money in the end
I've had lots of dream jobs in the past
so my first dream job I guess was to be
like a Japanese translator and then I
wanted to be an anime or Manga artist
artist and then I wanted to move to
Japan and just work in Japan in a
convenience store that didn't work out
very well and then I wanted to become a
YouTuber and I managed to survive as a
YouTuber for nearly 7 years but I feel
like that's starting to come to an end
now because I failed at doing that as
well and then I also wanted to become an
investor stock Trader day trader kind of
person but I ended up losing loads of
money nearly half my savings lost on the
stock market and even after years of
trying to invest and try to learn how to
do it I still just can't really break
through and figure out how to reliably
make good money reliable money on the
stock market so I have had dream jobs
dream careers that I thought I wanted to
do but then when I tried it out I
realized this is actually really
difficult and really challenging I can't
do this I suck at it and for some reason
I just seem to suck at everything I try
to do I don't have a natural Talent some
people say I'm good at drawing but I'm
obviously not good enough at drawing to
be able to get professional jobs or
professional G I had this one
opportunity where this guy I knew who
makes books he wanted me to do some
artwork for his books because he likes
my artwork so he made up this contracts
and he agreed to pay me and I agreed to
make some drawings for him and I tried
my best I really did try my best to do
these drawings really professionally
make them look really good but his
business partner didn't like the
drawings kept saying they were not good
enough they look kind of weird the hands
too big or the legs too short we can't
use this for our books and it really
destroyed me it crushed me inside
because everyone kept telling me my
drawings were so good so I felt like wow
my drawings must be really good so I
kept trying to fix the illustrations I
made the hand bigger if he said they
were too small I tried to fix the pose
so it looked less wooden and less stiff
but it was never good enough so I had to
just say I'm sorry but this is the best
I can do and they ended up not using the
artwork but they paid me anyway out of
pity I guess I never talked to them
again and I just kind of gave up on the
idea of doing paid illustrations I do
enjoy drawing some times but I only like
drawing what I want to draw in the way
that I want to draw it I don't like
being told how to draw or what to draw
if they don't like a certain aspects of
my drawing don't really want to have to
care about that but if they're paying me
money to draw a specific thing I had to
care about it I had to draw what they
wanted to because that's what they were
paying me for and I just didn't really
enjoy that I thought it'd be really cool
to be a professional artist and do
commissions but I guess that's another
failed career attempt that I didn't have
any luck or success doing so basically
I've had over 15 years of trying to find
something I'm good at and something I
enjoy doing and I've tried lots of
different things and I really tried hard
on some of these things and I really
thought well I found my true calling in
life this is what I'm supposed to be
doing in life and I gave it a good shot
for maybe a few years at most and then I
realized it's actually very difficult
I'm not getting anywhere and then I give
up and I move on to something new so I'm
reaching this stage in my life where I
guess I'm middle-aged if you expect I'm
going to live until around 70 35 now I'm
halfway through my life and I'm just
feeling like what's the point anymore
what's the point in trying when every
single thing I've tried it's like 100%
track record of failure giving up and
disappointment and I'm just kind of Fed
Up of the feeling of failure and the
feeling of disappointment and I don't
really want to bother anymore trying
something new or something difficult cuz
I know what's going to happen I also
realized that moving countries doesn't
really fix anything it's like a
temporary fix but eventually the same
problems you had in your own country end
up catching up with you and it's like a
nice way to escape from reality and it's
a bit of a distraction but I kept
thinking that my problems of not making
any progress in life are because of the
UK the UK sucks I blame everything on
the country I'm stuck in so I thought if
I move to Japan or move to Thailand or I
move to Korea or some other place then
we will fix all my problems in life I'll
find what I'm supposed to be doing get
some relationship and that'll just fix
everything it never does so first of all
you have the challenge of going to a new
country and setting up a new home trying
to find a place to live that's not
really expensive and then you have to
deal with everything in a foreign
language or you just get your girlfriend
to deal with it for you and then you
just feel like you're not really an
independent adult anymore because you
need your girlfriend to do everything
for you and look after you and it makes
you feel a bit like a loser cuz you
can't do anything by yourself and at
first it does feel kind of exci you feel
like yes this is my new home it's great
here so much better than the UK but then
you start to miss certain things like
food speaking your own language to
people who actually understand what
you're saying without you having to dumb
down your language or having to slow
down your speech and you start missing
with these little things and then you
get homesick and then you start hating
the country you're run again you start
blaming the country for not making any
progress and then you realize just cuz
I'm in a new country doesn't magically
mean I'm going to start making all this
progress and you constantly have to to
worry about things like Visa problems
how do I extend my Visa how can I stay
here longer or I have to leave now where
I'm going to go where am I going to stay
I got to spend all this money on hotels
in a different country whilst I wait
until I can get back into the country I
want to be and it's just such a massive
headache and you end up just thinking if
I'm just back home in my own country I
don't have to worry about any of this
the reason why I haven't given up on
life yet is because I keep trying to
think positively and optimistically that
one day I will find my thing that I
enjoy doing that I'm actually kind of
good at that I kind of nerd out on and
it makes decent money not loads of money
don't really care about being a
millionaire or anything but if I can
make enough money to survive doing
something that I kind of enjoy then
that's kind of success in my eyes but I
still haven't really found it don't know
if I'm ever going to find it maybe in
this next 5 years I might find something
but time is kind of running out and I
feel like as as I'm getting older I have
less and less energy to pursue new
Endeavors and I'm just feeling more more
jaded and more more bitter and negative
about things and I'm trying not to let
that take over my brain
Voir Plus de Vidéos Connexes
Masturbation ruined my life - inspirational
How I Wasted My 20's (and why it all stops now) | Video 1 of 30
The 20 Year Old Man-Child Epidemic
"ÂĄĂLTIMA HORA" Kerem BĂŒrsin confiesa: Mi vida personal es un desastre
I'm 50 years old Japanese man and am really worried about my future. What should I do?
Abandoned By My Parents Because Of My Face | Minutes With | UNILAD | @LADbible
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)