Conflict Resolution in the Workplace: Interpersonal Conflict

Summary

Dr. Liane Davey offers strategies for handling interpersonal conflicts at work. She emphasizes the importance of objectivity, avoiding judgments, and sharing the implications of behaviors. Davey suggests discussing how actions are interpreted, seeking advice if needed, and recognizing that feelings are a personal reaction. For extreme situations, she recommends a 'coffee card' technique to manage frustration. Ultimately, her advice aims to foster civility and respect in the workplace, enabling effective teamwork.

Takeaways

• 🤝 Interpersonal conflicts at work are common and can involve someone who irritates or disrespects you.
• 🗣️ It's crucial to remain objective when discussing the person causing conflict, avoiding adjectives that express judgment.
• 📏 Identify and describe specific behaviors that lead to negative interpretations, rather than labeling the person.
• 📝 Explain the implications of the person's behavior on your work and focus.
• 🌟 Sharing your interpretation of someone's actions can help clarify misunderstandings and improve relationships.
• 👂 Seek advice from others if direct feedback doesn't resolve the issue, focusing on your experience and concerns without gossiping.
• 🔍 Recognize that no one else can make you feel a certain way; it's about how you interpret their actions.
• 💡 Be aware of your reactions and stories you tell yourself to better manage your emotions.
• 🎯 If conflicts persist, use techniques like the 'coffee card' to change your perspective and reduce the stress they cause.
• 👩‍💼 Remember, these strategies aim to improve civility and respect in professional interactions, even if complete harmony isn't achievable.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Liane Davey's video?

The main topic of Dr. Liane Davey's video is how to handle interpersonal conflicts at work, particularly when a colleague's behavior is causing issues rather than a specific issue or disagreement.

What is the first step Dr. Davey suggests when dealing with a person who makes you feel uncomfortable at work?

The first step is to ensure that when discussing the person, you are objective and avoid using adjectives that express judgment, focusing on describing their behavior rather than labeling them.

Why is it important to be objective when discussing a colleague's behavior?

Being objective helps prevent the escalation of conflict and allows for a clearer understanding of the situation, potentially revealing misunderstandings or reasons behind the behavior.

How can one reframe a judgmental statement like 'he was so rude in that meeting'?

Instead of labeling someone as rude, one should describe the specific behavior that led to that interpretation, such as 'he interrupted me while I was speaking'.

What is the purpose of sharing the implications of someone's behavior?

Sharing the implications helps the other person understand how their actions affect you and the work environment, which can lead to more constructive conversations and changes in behavior.

Can you provide an example of how to share the implications of a colleague's behavior?

An example is when a colleague points out a typo during a presentation, you could explain that it distracts you and prevents you from focusing on the main ideas you want to discuss.

What does Dr. Davey suggest doing if you want to improve your relationship with a colleague?

Dr. Davey suggests sharing how you interpret their behavior, which can help clear up misunderstandings and show vulnerability, potentially leading to a better relationship.

How can you address the issue with a manager who keeps answering questions meant for you?

You can privately express how their behavior makes you feel, such as feeling unconfident, and ask for their perspective or how they can signal confidence in you to the team.

What should you do if direct feedback and discussions do not resolve the interpersonal conflict?

If direct feedback doesn't work, seeking advice from others, especially those who know the person better, can provide new insights or strategies to improve the situation.

What is the final tip Dr. Davey offers for dealing with a colleague who is really draining you?

Dr. Davey suggests using a technique like a 'coffee card' where you mark each time the person's behavior affects you negatively, and once a certain number is reached, you take a break to vent with a friend, changing the power dynamic and your reaction to the situation.

What is the key takeaway from Dr. Davey's video regarding personal responsibility in interpersonal conflicts?

The key takeaway is that no one can make you feel a certain way; it's your interpretation of their behavior and the story you tell yourself that affects your emotions, and being aware of this can help you manage your reactions.