How do we learn from failure? | Dean Shepherd | TEDxTUM

Summary

This video explores the emotional complexities of failure, particularly in entrepreneurship. It highlights how failure triggers grief due to the emotional investment in projects. The speaker discusses how learning from failure is not automatic but requires emotional regulation. Strategies like 'loss orientation' and 'restoration orientation' help manage the emotional fallout. Additionally, organizations can foster emotional intelligence and create supportive environments to cope with failure. Ultimately, the key to growth lies in oscillating between emotional reactions and using them to extract valuable lessons, both individually and within organizations.

Takeaways

• 😀 Failure is an inevitable part of entrepreneurship, and it often occurs in environments of high uncertainty, where experimentation and risks are essential.
• 😀 Learning from failure is not automatic or instantaneous. It requires emotional management and the ability to cope with grief and disappointment.
• 😀 Grief from failure is a natural emotional response, similar to mourning the loss of a loved one, and can significantly impact an entrepreneur's ability to move forward.
• 😀 Entrepreneurs' emotional attachments to their projects can result in grief when those projects fail, making it difficult to learn from the experience.
• 😀 The emotional response to failure, particularly grief, can be understood through the lens of three fundamental psychological needs: competence, belongingness, and autonomy.
• 😀 High psychological well-being in individuals comes from fulfilling these needs, and the failure of important projects triggers strong negative emotions due to the loss of something that satisfies these needs.
• 😀 Grief work, which involves reflecting on the reasons for failure, can help individuals process and cope with loss, but it must be balanced with a proactive approach to secondary stressors.
• 😀 A restoration orientation, which involves distraction and addressing secondary stressors, can also help manage grief, but it may hinder the ability to learn from failure if overused.
• 😀 The most effective way to cope with failure and learn from it is to oscillate between a loss orientation (reflecting on the failure) and a restoration orientation (distraction and addressing stressors).
• 😀 Organizations can either normalize failure by desensitizing employees to emotional reactions or create emotionally capable environments with support systems and rituals to help people process failure and learn from it.

Q & A

What is the primary theme of the speaker's message in the transcript?

The primary theme is that failure is an inevitable part of entrepreneurship and life, and while it brings emotional turmoil, learning from failure is crucial for growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in managing grief and using failure as a learning opportunity.

How does the speaker describe the emotional impact of failure on entrepreneurs?

The speaker explains that failure in entrepreneurship often triggers feelings of grief, similar to the loss of a loved one. This emotional response can make it difficult to learn from failure, as individuals may become stuck in negative emotions.

What are the two main coping mechanisms discussed for dealing with grief from failure?

The two main coping mechanisms are 'loss orientation' and 'restoration orientation.' Loss orientation involves reflecting on the events leading to failure to create an understanding of why it happened. Restoration orientation involves distracting oneself from the failure and addressing secondary stressors to reduce emotional impact.

What is the problem with using only a loss orientation when dealing with failure?

The problem is that focusing solely on the loss orientation can lead to an escalation of negative emotions over time, making it harder to move on and learn from the failure. Prolonged grief can obstruct the ability to grow from the experience.

What does the restoration orientation involve, and how does it help in dealing with failure?

Restoration orientation involves distracting oneself from thinking about the failure and addressing secondary stressors, such as finding new employment or dealing with financial issues. This approach helps reduce emotional turmoil by focusing on practical tasks and provides emotional relief, making it easier to revisit the failure later.

How can oscillating between loss and restoration orientations aid in learning from failure?

Oscillating between loss and restoration orientations helps individuals manage their emotions more effectively. By reflecting on the failure (loss orientation) and then temporarily stepping away from it (restoration orientation), individuals can reduce negative emotions, recharge emotionally, and gradually gain a deeper understanding of the failure.

What is the challenge organizations face when dealing with failure, according to the speaker?

Organizations face the challenge of balancing the need for entrepreneurial risk-taking with the emotional responses that come with failure. While failure is inevitable and can be a learning experience, it also triggers grief, which can hinder the ability to learn from the failure.

What are the two approaches organizations can take to manage failure, and what are the potential downsides of each?

Organizations can either normalize failure, desensitizing people to its emotional impact, or they can create emotionally capable environments, supporting people through rituals or social support. Normalizing failure may lead to a lack of emotional commitment to projects, while an emotionally capable organization may risk fostering an environment of excessive emotional attachment, hindering progress.

What does the speaker suggest about how emotional intelligence can help individuals and organizations deal with failure?

The speaker suggests that emotional intelligence is crucial for dealing with failure. It helps individuals understand when to focus on reflecting on the failure (loss orientation) and when to step away to recover emotionally (restoration orientation). It also helps organizations create emotionally capable environments to support their teams during failure.

How does the speaker’s personal experience with his father's business failure relate to the broader message of the transcript?

The speaker’s personal experience with his father's business failure illustrates the emotional impact of failure on entrepreneurs. His father's grief and emotional reaction challenged the assumption that learning from failure is automatic, highlighting that emotional support and processing grief are necessary for recovery and learning from failure.