How To Speak Like The 1% Elite

Summary

In this video, the speaker shares five key communication skills that differentiate leaders from those who get overlooked. These skills include speaking to lead, not to be liked, controlling emotions for clarity, communicating with authority, mastering the art of asking powerful questions, and avoiding oversharing. The speaker emphasizes the importance of confidence, clarity, and emotional control in leadership. By practicing these skills, one can enhance their credibility and become a more effective communicator, ultimately driving success and gaining respect in any professional environment.

Takeaways

• 😀 Speak to lead, not to be liked: Focus on communicating with authority and confidence rather than trying to please others.
• 😀 Be certain in your communication: Avoid qualifiers like 'I think' or 'I feel'; instead, state your point of view clearly and directly.
• 😀 Manage your emotions: High emotion leads to low intelligence. Leaders make decisions based on logic, not emotional outbursts.
• 😀 Stay calm under pressure: Visualize yourself as a blade of grass, bending with pressure without losing composure.
• 😀 Speak with authority: Great leaders speak with weight, focusing on making an impact in every conversation.
• 😀 Prioritize your time: Be clear on your purpose in any room or meeting to ensure your communication has impact and authority.
• 😀 Ask powerful questions: Great leaders ask strategic questions to better understand challenges and guide decision-making.
• 😀 Avoid overexplaining: Communicate directly and with confidence, avoiding unnecessary elaboration or seeking validation.
• 😀 Use body language to project confidence: Sit up straight, maintain eye contact, and speak with a clear voice to convey authority.
• 😀 Practice active listening and question-asking: The ability to ask good questions and engage others effectively is a valuable skill in leadership.
• 😀 Watch and learn from successful communicators: Observe how successful people communicate, including their body language and delivery style.

Q & A

What is the first communication skill mentioned in the script?

The first communication skill is to stop speaking to be liked and instead speak to lead. This involves shifting your mindset from trying to be liked to leading confidently and assertively, even if you are not in a leadership position yet.

How can you increase your credibility in communication?

To increase your credibility, you should avoid qualifying your statements with phrases like 'I think' or 'I feel.' Instead, state your opinion or observation directly, which shows confidence and certainty.

What is the effect of high emotion in communication?

High emotion can make you appear reactive and unsure, which undermines your credibility. Leaders should manage their emotions, using logic and data to make decisions, instead of being swayed by emotional responses.

What visual metaphor does the speaker use to handle emotional situations?

The speaker uses the metaphor of a blade of grass versus a toothpick. The blade of grass bends with pressure and bounces back, while the toothpick is rigid and breaks. This represents handling emotional situations with flexibility and grace.

What does it mean to speak with authority?

Speaking with authority means having a clear purpose for why you're in the conversation and demonstrating that your input matters. Leaders should show up with clarity, knowing why they are participating and what their role is in the discussion.

How can you build authority in a conversation or meeting?

To build authority, re-evaluate where you spend your time and only participate in conversations where you have a clear goal. Being well-prepared and knowing your target for the conversation will help you demonstrate authority and lead discussions.

Why is asking the right questions important for leadership?

Asking the right questions is crucial because it helps you uncover missing information, clarify confusion, and find solutions to complex problems. Effective leaders ask strategic questions to guide conversations and drive decision-making.

How did the speaker learn to improve their questioning skills?

The speaker learned to improve questioning skills through a childhood practice where they were encouraged to ask three questions at social events. This helped them develop the ability to keep conversations going and learn how to ask engaging and insightful questions.

What is the potential downside of oversharing in communication?

Oversharing can reduce your confidence and make you appear uncertain. It can also lead to uncomfortable situations where you avoid delivering clear and direct messages. Leaders should focus on being concise and direct, without over-explaining.

What body language techniques can improve communication?

Improving body language involves sitting up straight, keeping your shoulders back, and avoiding fidgeting. This non-verbal communication shows confidence and helps convey authority. Additionally, projecting your voice with clarity rather than whispering increases the impact of your words.