How to Overcome Driving Anxiety - Positive Feedback Loop

Conquer Driving
14 Sept 202014:06

Summary

TLDRThis video aims to alleviate driving anxiety by encouraging learners to identify and rationalize their fears. It emphasizes the importance of accepting one's pace and starting with manageable tasks to build confidence gradually. The script suggests that patience, realistic expectations, and positive reinforcement from instructors can significantly help in overcoming anxiety. The instructor's role is to set achievable goals, creating a positive feedback loop that fosters success and reduces nerves. The video also highlights the value of additional practice with friends or family, as supported by Collingwood Insurance, to enhance learning experience.

Takeaways

  • 😌 Driving anxiety is common and varies from person to person, affecting how they learn to drive.
  • 📝 Writing down what worries you can help rationalize and understand your anxiety better.
  • 👉 Ignoring anxiety will likely make learning to drive harder, so it's important to address it.
  • 🚗 Accept that as a learner driver, you will be slow and that most people are patient and will wait for a safe opportunity to pass.
  • 🔑 Awareness of what's controlling you is the first step to gaining control over your anxiety.
  • 👶 Comparing patience towards a learner driver to that of a child learning to walk or an elderly person walking slowly can put things into perspective.
  • 🚦 Realize that everyone learns at a different pace, and don't expect to learn as quickly as someone else might have.
  • 🎯 Focusing on the task at hand without distractions can help reduce anxiety and improve driving skills.
  • 👩‍🏫 A driving instructor should provide positive support and realistic goals to help build confidence and reduce anxiety.
  • 🔄 Creating a positive feedback loop by setting achievable goals can boost confidence and reduce anxiety over time.
  • 💪 Gradually building up skills and confidence by starting with easier tasks and progressing can help manage anxiety effectively.

Q & A

  • What is the main purpose of the video?

    -The main purpose of the video is to help reduce driving anxiety or fear and provide strategies for coping with it while learning to drive.

  • How does driving anxiety affect people differently?

    -Driving anxiety affects people in different ways, such as making them hold the wheel tightly, sweat, shake, or constantly look around instead of focusing on the road.

  • What is the first step suggested in the video to deal with driving anxiety?

    -The first step suggested is to write down a list of what worries you and then rationalize it, understanding if the worries are rational or irrational.

  • Why is it important to understand the cause of anxiety while learning to drive?

    -Understanding the cause of anxiety helps you gain more control over the situation and allows you to address the specific issues that are causing the anxiety.

  • What is a common cause of anxiety for learner drivers mentioned in the video?

    -A common cause of anxiety is worrying about holding people up, or driving slowly, which is a natural part of the learning process.

  • How can a driving instructor support a learner driver who is anxious?

    -A driving instructor can support a learner driver by providing positive reinforcement, setting realistic goals, and offering encouragement that other people also struggle with learning to drive.

  • What is a 'positive feedback loop' as mentioned in the video?

    -A 'positive feedback loop' is a cycle where achieving a simple, realistic goal leads to success, which in turn reduces anxiety and builds confidence, leading to more success.

  • Why is it important for a learner driver to be realistic about their learning pace?

    -Being realistic about learning pace helps set achievable goals, prevents frustration, and allows for gradual improvement without overwhelming the learner.

  • What should a learner driver do if they feel they are not making progress?

    -If a learner driver feels they are not making progress, they should try doing something easier, find a level of difficulty they can handle, and gradually build up their skills and confidence.

  • How can learner drivers gain additional experience outside of formal driving lessons?

    -Learner drivers can gain additional experience by practicing with friends or family members, which can be facilitated by insurance providers like Collingwood, who offer policies for learner drivers on other people's cars.

  • What advice does the video give for dealing with anxiety when learning to drive?

    -The video advises to accept that anxiety is normal, understand and rationalize the cause of it, start with easy tasks to build confidence, and gradually venture into more challenging areas as confidence grows.

Outlines

00:00

🚗 Overcoming Driving Anxiety

The first paragraph addresses the common issue of driving anxiety and its various manifestations, such as holding the wheel tightly, sweating, or being overly conscious of the surroundings. It emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and understanding the source of one's anxiety rather than ignoring it. The speaker suggests writing down worries and rationalizing them to gain control. An example is given about recognizing and dealing with everyday moods to illustrate the point. The paragraph also touches on the common worry of holding others up while driving and assures learners that most people are patient and understanding of new drivers' need to go slow, which is crucial for learning.

05:01

📈 Building Confidence and Reducing Anxiety

The second paragraph delves into strategies for managing driving anxiety, starting with understanding and accepting one's feelings as normal. It discusses the importance of starting in less challenging environments and gradually increasing difficulty to build confidence. The role of a driving instructor is highlighted, emphasizing the need for positive support and realistic goal setting to foster a successful learning experience. The instructor's approach to creating a positive feedback loop through achievable goals is explained, which helps in reducing anxiety and building confidence. The paragraph also warns against setting unrealistic goals that could lead to frustration and anxiety.

10:01

🌟 Gradual Progress and Realistic Expectations

The final paragraph summarizes the recommended approach to dealing with driving anxiety. It advises accepting anxiety as a normal part of the learning process and suggests understanding its causes and rationalizing it. The speaker recommends starting with easy tasks to achieve success and gradually increasing the difficulty to build confidence. The importance of not pushing oneself or others too hard too quickly is stressed, as it can lead to snapping, like stretching something too fast. The paragraph concludes by acknowledging that while there's no quick fix, patience and gradual progress usually lead to overcoming anxiety, with the instructor's experience playing a crucial role in guiding learners at a comfortable pace.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Driving Anxiety

Driving anxiety refers to the fear or nervousness some individuals experience when learning to drive or being in control of a vehicle. In the video's context, it is the central theme as it discusses how this emotion can make learning to drive difficult and suggests ways to manage it. The script mentions that it affects people differently, causing behaviors like gripping the wheel tightly, sweating, or shaking.

💡Rationalize

To rationalize means to analyze one's feelings or thoughts in a logical way to understand their basis. In the video script, the instructor advises learners to write down their worries and then rationalize them by questioning whether these concerns are rational or irrational. This process is part of gaining control over their anxiety and is exemplified when the instructor talks about figuring out why one might feel grumpy.

💡Awareness

Awareness, in this context, pertains to the conscious recognition of one's emotions and their triggers. The video emphasizes the importance of becoming aware of what is controlling one's actions, such as anxiety, to gain control over it. An example given is how recognizing why one feels a certain way can change one's mood, which is directly related to managing driving anxiety.

💡Patience

Patience, as discussed in the script, is the ability to tolerate delays or frustration without becoming annoyed or anxious. It is highlighted as a virtue that learner drivers should have, accepting that they will be slow and that others on the road are likely to be patient with them. The script uses the comparison of not being angry at a child learning to walk or an elderly person walking slowly to illustrate this point.

💡Realistic Expectations

Realistic expectations mean setting achievable goals based on one's current abilities. The video script advises against comparing one's learning pace with others and emphasizes that everyone learns at different speeds. It suggests that having realistic expectations can help reduce anxiety and build confidence gradually.

💡Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is a technique used to encourage behaviors or actions by providing positive feedback or rewards. In the context of the video, the instructor talks about using positive reinforcement to build up the learner's confidence and reduce anxiety. This is done by setting achievable goals and praising the learner when they succeed, creating a positive feedback loop.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that one can do something successfully. The video script discusses how building confidence is a gradual process that can help reduce driving anxiety. It mentions that confidence comes from success, which in turn leads to more success, creating a positive cycle.

💡Gradual Progress

Gradual progress refers to the slow and steady advancement in learning or skill development. The script advises learner drivers to start with easy tasks and gradually increase the difficulty as their confidence grows. This approach is recommended to prevent frustration and maintain a positive learning experience.

💡Support

Support, in the video's context, is the encouragement and assistance provided by a driving instructor to help learners overcome their anxiety. The script mentions that a driving instructor should offer positive support, not by lying about the learner's performance, but by being realistic and encouraging, which helps build confidence and reduce anxiety.

💡Collingwood Insurance

Collingwood Insurance is mentioned in the script as a company that offers insurance policies for learner drivers, allowing them to gain experience by driving a friend or family member's car without affecting the owner's policy. The script suggests that using such insurance can help reduce the time and cost needed for professional driving instruction.

Highlights

Driving anxiety can manifest in various ways such as holding the wheel tightly, sweating, shaking, or being overly concerned with surroundings.

Anxiety can cause learner drivers to 'shut down' and not absorb instructions from their driving instructor.

Ignoring driving anxiety can make learning to drive more difficult.

Writing down what worries you and rationalizing it can help manage driving anxiety.

Understanding the source of anxiety provides more control over the situation.

A common anxiety trigger is the fear of holding others up while driving slowly.

Accepting that being slow is part of the learning process is crucial.

Most people are patient with learner drivers and will wait for a safe opportunity to pass.

Driving instructors should provide support and reassure learners that driving slowly is appropriate.

Comparing learner drivers to children learning to walk or elderly people walking slowly can put things into perspective.

Realistic expectations are important when learning to drive; everyone learns at a different pace.

Focusing on the task at hand and not being distracted by other worries can improve driving.

Positive support from a driving instructor is essential for building confidence and reducing anxiety.

Driving instructors should provide realistic goals and positive reinforcement to build a successful learning experience.

A positive feedback loop can be established by setting achievable goals and celebrating success.

Finding the right level of difficulty for a learner is key to building confidence and reducing frustration.

Gradual progression in driving tasks helps to build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.

If progress seems too slow, it may be because the learner is being pushed beyond their current ability level.

Anxiety reduction and confidence building take time and patience, with no quick fix available.

Learning from experience as a driving instructor over 11 years has shaped the advice given in the video.

Collingwood Insurance can provide policies that allow additional practice on a friend or family member's car without affecting their policy.

Using the provided link offers discounts and supports the channel while also helping learners get cheaper insurance.

Transcripts

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hopefully this video is going to help

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reduce your driving anxiety

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or fear or nerves whatever you want to

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call it it's basically an emotion that

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makes learning to drive

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really quite hard it affects different

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people more than

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others and it affects different people

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in different ways for some people

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they may hold the wheel really tightly

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they may sweat

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they may shake or combination of all

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those things

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they may be worried about everything

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around them so they're looking around

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them all the time and not looking where

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they're going so they end up driving

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down the road

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all over the place and it can even make

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learner drivers shut down from their

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driving instructor because they're so

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anxious

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that they don't hear what's going on

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they're in the moment and nothing can

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enter

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there is but there's one thing i'm sure

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of

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if you ignore it if you pretend it

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doesn't exist

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it's gonna probably get the better of

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you or at least make

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your job of learning to drive or should

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i say the task of learning to drive

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a lot harder one thing you can do to

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help yourself

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is try to figure out what is making you

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feel the way you do write it down write

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down a list

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of what worries you and then rationalize

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it

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think about why does that worry me is it

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rational that it worries me is it

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irrational

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both are okay just try and figure out

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exactly

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how you feel and why you feel that way

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because normally once you figure out

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what's affecting you you have more

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control of the situation

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an example this can be a good example

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let's say

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this happens to me sometimes maybe it

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happens to you

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let's say you're feeling a bit grumpy

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you feel a bit grumpy this happens to me

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and i can't figure out why i just feel a

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little bit

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annoyed my my other half will see will

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say to me what's wrong will be like

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nothing i don't generally don't know

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what's wrong

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but if i then try and figure out

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why it is i feel that way quite often i

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think

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that's rather silly why am i bothering

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not all the time though

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quite often it's very rational and you

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go oh yeah that's that's why

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but in knowing that that actually can

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change your mood because

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you're aware of what's happening to you

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you need to become aware

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of what's controlling you before you can

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control it and control yourself

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a very common cause of this anxiety is

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worrying about holding people up and i

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need to tell you this now and i

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say this to my customers you have to

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accept that when you're learning to

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drive you're going to be slow

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going slow is actually the key to

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learning it

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and you are going to hold people up most

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people

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more than 99 of people definitely more

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than 99

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do have a lot of patience and they wait

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until there's a safe place to pass

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and they pass and i tend to take people

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in locations when they're slow where

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they're not going to be holding too many

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people up anyway

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and we start and stop a lot not only for

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practice

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when it comes to starting and stopping

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but also to let people pass

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and if someone's going to get the hump

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for my customer driving slowly

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i don't really care for it i'm going to

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give my customer

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lots of support i'm going to tell them

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that they're doing fine

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that's exactly what they need to be

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doing they're driving at their own speed

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the person behind is not going to be

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stuck behind us for long because we will

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pull over or we will turn left because

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all right because we tend to drive

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around in circles at the beginning

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and also would you be angry

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with say a small child who's just

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learning to walk

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walking slowly or even an

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elderly person in a shop walking slowly

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are you going to start

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shouting at them probably not it's not

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ideal being stuck behind someone and

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don't get me wrong

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i don't particularly like being stuck

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behind someone slow when i need to get

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somewhere

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but i don't give them aggro i don't

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harass them

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people who harass others for doing

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such minor things things that they

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probably did themselves once they

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not they're not high on my priority list

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when it comes to trying to

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help them out should i say also be

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realistic when you're learning to drive

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if you have a cousin who's learnt in 20

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hours

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don't necessarily expect yourself to

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learn in 20 hours

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everybody learns at different speeds in

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fact few people

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do learn in 20 hours and if they do most

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of the time

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is because they've had help elsewhere

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and

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other experience may be driving their

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friend

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or family member's car collingwood

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insurance will help you with that i'll

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tell you about that later

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if you are focusing on the task at hand

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driving you are now putting all of your

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energy into improving that task

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if you're worrying about other things

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now that's a distraction

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that's going to distract you from the

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task at hand

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so understanding what causes you to be

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anxious

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whether you're learning to drive or an

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experienced driver

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can help you immensely but it doesn't

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change how you feel

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just like that you can't change how you

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feel you just gotta accept that it's

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okay

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and normal and find a way you can carry

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on

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whilst feeling like that find a way you

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can

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do what you're trying to do maybe start

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off in

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easier locations and gradually build

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yourself up

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your confidence will come so

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understanding it and rationalizing it

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will help a lot if you're with a driving

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instructor they can help you a lot as

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well they can give you positive support

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if they're not giving you positive

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support

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that's not going to help increase your

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confidence and reduce your anxiety

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if there's blurting out what you're

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doing wrong all the time

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that's going to have a negative impact

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on you they shouldn't lie to you

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they shouldn't tell you you're doing

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well when you're not because you're not

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silly you probably can figure that out

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you probably know if you're doing badly

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even if they tell you you're doing well

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but even worse than that that could lead

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you to believe you're great at driving

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when you're actually really bad and

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there's a nothing worse than a confident

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driver

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who's bad the sort of encouragement your

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driving instructor should give you

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is to ensure that other people struggle

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just like you are other people feel the

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same way you do that's going to make you

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feel

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better and to point out that certain

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things are hard to learn

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and to give you the time to learn it so

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instead of just lying to you and say oh

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you did all right there when you

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know you're really messed up is to say

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don't worry

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you'll get it next time or we'll go and

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practice that over there and then maybe

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next time we can get it

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that kind of support positive

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reinforcement to build on what you

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already know

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as opposed to just saying oh well done

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every five seconds

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one way i help people increase their

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confidence and reduce the anxiety

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is by trying to start a positive

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feedback loop

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and what i mean by a positive feedback

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loop is i'll try and get them to do

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something successfully

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so i will set a goal that i think is

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realistic

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that they will be able to achieve and

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it's going to be simple it's going to be

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easy and

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very realistic and i'll take them

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somewhere where they're able to achieve

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that as well

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and when they achieve that they've

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achieved something they've had success

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and what's great about success is it

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reduces anxiety

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and it leads to confidence and

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confidence leads to success

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and then success leads to confidence

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which leads to

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more success and you have this

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positive feedback loop which snowballs

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and it can work the other way this is

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why i like to set

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my customers goals i set goals for my

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pupils

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i have a syllabus i go through it with

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them

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i don't really believe in getting pupils

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to set their own goals

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as i'm advised to do by so many people

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and the industry

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because quite often it works the other

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way they'll set a goal that's totally

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unrealistic

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which of course they're not going to

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achieve which leads to failure which

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leads to frustration and

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possibly anxiety which only leads to

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more failure

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so what i consider part of my

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job and part of my expertise as a

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driving instructor

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is knowing what's realistic for someone

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knowing what they're realistically able

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to achieve

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not only helping them achieve it but

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guiding them in a way which means that

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their driving lessons are

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more of a hopefully a happy experience

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and less of a frustrating one

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if you're really struggling and you

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don't think you're making progress it is

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probably because what you're trying to

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do is too hard

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there is most likely and in my

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experience

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for people i teach there's always a

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level at which they can handle

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and it's about finding that level and

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allowing them to

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drive at that level when i'm talking

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about level i'm talking about level of

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difficulty

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you just got to go somewhere easier

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you've got to do something easier and

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once that person

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is now being successful and they are

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starting to do it

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well they will start to grow and they

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will get better

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confidence will increase anxiety will

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hopefully reduce

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if i try to stretch them too much

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or push them too far too quickly that

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often leads to more problems some people

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are okay with that

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some people i can push quite far quite

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quickly

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and it's like water off a duck's back

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they they drive badly

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but it doesn't really bother them they

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just keep trying and eventually get it

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right

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and they don't lose confidence but

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they're the minority

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most people that would affect them

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negatively if i push them too

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quick too early they're more likely to

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to snap it's like stretching something

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too quickly you're more likely to snap

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it

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you need to give yourself the chance to

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grow and improve and your instructor

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needs to give you

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the chance to grow as well people grow

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with their abilities

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their confidence grows and their

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anxiety fears and nerves hopefully

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reduce so to summarize how

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do i recommend you deal with anxiety

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except

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that it's there except that it's normal

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and you're not going to get

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rid of it by reading a book or watching

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a video you can only take steps to help

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you progress

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and hopefully reduce it understand it

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understand why it's there what causes it

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and rationalize it think about it think

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is it really realistic or should i say

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rational

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to be worried about such things

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sometimes it is

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sometimes it isn't and if it is that's

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fine you're going to live with it but

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you're going to find a way to continue

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and you can find your way to continue by

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driving or learning in areas

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that you feel comfortable with doing

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things that you feel comfortable with

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there are things that you're going to

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feel uncomfortable with and it's better

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to

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gradually venture into those areas than

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to drop

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very quickly into them so

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my other advice is do something that's

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easy enough for you to succeed in

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and gradually build yourself up and let

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your confidence grow

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if you're finding it too hard do

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something easier

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if you're getting frustrated do

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something easier

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if you're in driving instructors getting

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frustrated

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again it's too much you need to do

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something easier

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and then let yourself get better i keep

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saying it but for me

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that's normally the secret i've tried

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many things

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breathing all this stuff but

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realistically at the end of the day

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it's just about starting at a level

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someone can handle

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and gradually building them up

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some people do really suffer with

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anxiety

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in which case it just takes longer it

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takes

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longer for them to build up their

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confidence but

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generally speaking they do tend to still

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get there

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just have to wait a bit longer that's

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all i'm sorry there's no quick easy fix

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and what i've told you is just what i've

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learned

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over more than 11 years of teaching

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people to drive

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via trial and error to see what works

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and

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that tends to give me the success i'm

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not a psychologist

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it's just experience of being a driving

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instructor

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if you think the video helps please give

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it a thumbs up

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and check out my sponsors

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collingwoodconfused.com

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if you're learning to drive getting

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extra practice with a friend or family

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member

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does reduce how much time you need with

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a driving instructor people who learn

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more quickly with me generally learn

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more quickly because i've had additional

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experience

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and collingwood are great at helping you

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get that experience because you can

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insure yourself

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on a friend or family member's car

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without affecting their

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policy they have short-term policies and

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long-term policies

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and if you cancel the long-term policy

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you actually get a refund for the

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remainder of the policy

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so look at both if you use the link

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there's 35 off at the moment and you get

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a 20 pound

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amazon gift card it also supports a

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channel if you use the link too

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i do recommend you compare your quotes

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though don't just go to one insurer

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i recommend going to confused.com as

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well to see if you can

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get a cheaper price because they

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generally are very cheap

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using the link in the description will

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support this channel

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if you want to get my future videos

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please subscribe

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and until the next one cheerio

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you

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Driving AnxietyLearn to DriveFear ManagementDriving InstructorAnxiety ReductionSelf AwarenessConfidence BuildingDriving PracticeLearning PacePositive ReinforcementDriving Goals
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