WHY COLD MEN ALWAYS WIN!

Summary

This video script explores the complex dynamics of attraction and emotional distance, particularly focusing on why some women are drawn to men who exhibit coldness. It delves into the psychological effects of coldness, such as the challenge it presents, the scarcity effect, and the sense of control it can provide. The speaker also discusses the familiarity coldness can bring to those with certain past relationship experiences and how it can trigger insecurities in people pleasers. The script further examines the non-verbal cues of cold individuals and how they can be attractive, as well as the biases that coldness can exploit in our minds. Ultimately, it advises on maintaining emotional control and the importance of a balanced approach to relationships, rather than perpetual coldness which can lead to loneliness and unfulfilling connections.

Takeaways

• 🧊 Emotional Distance: The script discusses the concept of 'coldness' as an emotional distance rather than outright hostility towards women, and how it can affect their reactions.
• 🤔 Attraction to Coldness: It explains that sometimes a bit of coldness can be attractive and gain respect because it's perceived as a reaction to disrespect.
• 👤 Personality Traits: The video is aimed at people who are naturally warm and may be taken advantage of, suggesting that a balance of warmth and coldness can be beneficial.
• 🔄 Human Reaction: It describes a common human reaction where we tend to like those who don't like us back and question why cold people are attractive.
• 🎯 Challenge and Scarcity: Cold individuals are seen as a challenge and activate the scarcity effect, making them more desirable because they seem less available.
• 🕵️‍♂️ Independence and Control: Coldness can give a sense of independence and control, which some people find attractive.
• 🔄 Familiarity and Past Dynamics: People may be drawn to coldness if it's familiar from their past relationships or family environments.
• 📉 Self-Esteem and Validation: Coldness can cause a hit to one's self-esteem, leading to a chase for validation rather than genuine connection.
• 👥 Non-Verbal Cues: The non-verbal cues of cold people, such as relaxed body language and slower speech, can be attractive and create a sense of strength and confidence.
• 🤔 Bias and Imagination: Coldness can trigger biases and activate people's imagination, causing them to wonder and chase after the cold individual.
• 🧘‍♂️ Self-Control and Meditation: The script suggests developing a meditation practice to control emotions and avoid being attracted to coldness.

Q & A

What is the main point the speaker is trying to convey about 'coldness' in relationships?

The speaker suggests that coldness can sometimes be perceived as attractive because it creates a sense of challenge and scarcity, but it's not a healthy basis for a relationship. It's important to understand why some people are attracted to cold individuals, rather than adopting coldness as a means to gain respect or attraction.

Why might someone be attracted to cold or emotionally distant individuals?

The attraction to cold or emotionally distant individuals can stem from a psychological response to a perceived challenge or scarcity. It may also be due to a desire for independence and control, or because the coldness provides a sense of familiarity based on past relationship dynamics.

What does the speaker mean by 'coldness in a little dose'?

The speaker is referring to the idea that a moderate amount of emotional distance or 'coldness' can sometimes be beneficial in gaining respect from others, as long as it is not excessive or indicative of a deeper personality flaw.

How does the speaker describe the effect of coldness on a person's self-esteem?

The speaker explains that coldness can activate a person's insecurities, leading them to question their self-worth and causing them to chase after the cold individual in an attempt to win their affection or validation.

What is the 'scarcity effect' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to attraction?

The scarcity effect is a psychological principle suggesting that when something is less available or harder to attain, it becomes more desirable. In the context of relationships, cold or indifferent individuals can create a sense of scarcity, making them seem more attractive to potential partners.

Why do some people feel uncomfortable when they encounter a partner who is warm and genuinely caring?

Some individuals may have been accustomed to cold or emotionally unavailable partners, and thus, when they encounter a warm and caring partner, it disrupts their established patterns and creates feelings of unease. This discomfort can stem from various reasons and patterns of behavior, including a belief that love and affection are scarce or difficult to obtain.

What is the speaker's opinion on the use of the 'hot and cold' method in relationships?

The speaker acknowledges that the hot and cold method can create confusion and desire within a person, but they do not recommend it due to the negative impact it can have on relationships and the potential for manipulation.

How does the speaker describe the non-verbal cues of cold people?

The speaker describes the non-verbal cues of cold people as more distant and dominant. They may speak slower, maintain less eye contact, and have a more relaxed tone of voice, which can paradoxically make them appear strong and confident.

What is the 'impostor syndrome' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to attraction to cold people?

Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals don't believe they deserve success or recognition. In the context of relationships, it can lead people to be attracted to cold individuals because deep down, they believe that's what they deserve or are capable of attracting.

Why do people pleasers often find themselves attracted to cold individuals?

People pleasers are often attracted to cold individuals because the coldness triggers their insecurities and challenges their ego, leading them to chase after the cold person in an attempt to gain their approval or affection.

What advice does the speaker give to counteract the natural human tendency to be attracted to cold people?

The speaker suggests developing a meditation practice, reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle, or attending a meditation retreat as ways to gain self-awareness and control over one's emotions, which can help counteract the attraction to cold individuals.

What is the speaker's final note on cold people in terms of their behavior in relationships?

The speaker notes that cold people often have too much pride to return to a relationship, and if they don't like you, they are unlikely to come back. This lack of return can lead to further chasing from the person who is attracted to them.

Outlines

00:00

🧊 Emotional Distance and Attraction

The speaker begins by explaining that emotional distance, rather than physical coldness, is key to understanding why some women are attracted to cold men. The video aims to clarify that a measured amount of coldness can earn respect, as it's a response to disrespect. However, perpetual coldness can be a personality flaw that backfires. The speaker identifies with being warm-hearted and suggests that adopting a bit of coldness can help those who are too warm to gain respect. The paradoxical situation where disinterest can spark attraction is discussed, along with the idea that coldness can create a sense of challenge and scarcity, leading to increased attraction.

05:02

💭 The Psychology Behind Chasing Coldness

This paragraph delves into the psychological effects of coldness, such as the scarcity effect, which makes unavailable individuals more desirable. It also touches on the sense of control and independence that coldness can provide, leading to attraction. The speaker shares personal experiences, such as feeling unwelcome in a photography school and the desire to win over peers. The idea that coldness can be comforting due to familiarity with past dynamics is explored, along with the notion that coldness can be self-sabotaging, as it can lead to discomfort with genuine care and warmth from others.

10:02

🕴️ Non-Verbal Cues and Coldness Attraction

The speaker discusses the appeal of non-verbal cues associated with cold individuals, such as dominance and relaxed body language, which can be attractive. Cold people often elicit a chase response from others due to perceived neediness or a desire to prove oneself. The speaker also explains how coldness can confirm one's own biases about deserving love and affection, leading to a cycle of attraction to those who provide incomplete emotional engagement. The paragraph also covers the idea of people-pleasers being attracted to cold individuals due to triggered insecurities.

15:04

🔁 The Hot and Cold Dynamic in Relationships

This section examines the hot and cold dynamic in relationships, which can create a pendulum swing of emotions, leading to confusion and desire. The speaker explains that inconsistency can be a powerful strategy that makes people chase after cold individuals. The paragraph also discusses how coldness can activate people's imaginations, making them wonder why they are not receiving attention or affection, and how cognitive biases like the halo effect or rose-colored glasses can prevent individuals from recognizing negative traits in their partners.

20:05

🏆 Professional Coldness vs. Personal Warmth

The final paragraph contrasts the appropriateness of coldness in professional settings, where it can be seen as a sign of seriousness and competence, with its potential harm in personal relationships. The speaker suggests that coldness can lead to respect but not love, and that those who are lonely may excel in professional roles due to their cold demeanor. The video concludes with the speaker sharing their new location in Mexico City and inviting viewers to work with them.

Keywords

💡Emotional distance

Emotional distance refers to a psychological state where an individual creates a barrier between their emotions and others. In the context of the video, it is suggested that maintaining a certain level of emotional distance can be a way to gain respect and avoid being taken advantage of. The speaker mentions that 'coldness' in a controlled manner can be beneficial, but it's important to differentiate between being emotionally distant and being perpetually cold, which can backfire.

💡Respect

Respect in this video is discussed as something that can be gained through a measured approach to emotional expression. The script implies that showing too much warmth can sometimes be perceived as weakness, whereas a 'little dose of coldness' can command respect. An example given is how 'coldness is your reaction to disrespect,' suggesting that maintaining a certain emotional distance can be a form of self-respect and a way to prevent being disrespected by others.

💡Scarcity effect

The scarcity effect is a psychological principle that states people tend to place a higher value on things that are rare or difficult to obtain. The video explains that cold or indifferent individuals can trigger this effect, making them seem more desirable because they appear less available. The script uses the scarcity effect to explain why people might chase after those who are cold, as it creates a sense of urgency and desire to 'win them over.'

💡Independence

Independence in the video is associated with the attraction to cold or distant individuals who provide space and freedom. It is suggested that some people are drawn to cold individuals because they offer a sense of independence, which can be appealing. However, the video also warns that this can lead to frustration if the person falls in love with someone who desires distance, as it creates a conflict between the desire for independence and the need for closeness.

💡Familiarity

Familiarity in the context of the video refers to the comfort people may feel when they encounter behaviors or dynamics that are similar to what they have experienced in the past. The speaker discusses how some individuals may be drawn to cold partners because it is familiar, even if it is not healthy. This concept is used to explain why some people might sabotage relationships with warm individuals and instead feel more at ease with cold ones, due to past experiences.

💡Non-verbal cues

Non-verbal cues are the unspoken signals people give through body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. The video highlights that cold individuals often exhibit non-verbal cues that can be perceived as attractive, such as a relaxed voice tone and a dominant body language. These cues can create a sense of intrigue and strength, making the cold person seem more appealing, even though they might not be actively seeking validation or engagement.

💡Impostor syndrome

Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a 'fraud.' In the video, it is suggested that people with low self-esteem may suffer from impostor syndrome in their relationships, believing they do not deserve love or affection. This can lead them to be attracted to cold individuals who provide 'halfway love,' reinforcing their belief that they are not worthy of complete love.

💡People pleaser

A people pleaser is someone who seeks to make others happy at the expense of their own needs and desires. The video script mentions that people pleasers are particularly susceptible to the allure of cold individuals because their insecurities are triggered, leading them to chase after cold people in an attempt to gain their approval and affection. The speaker identifies as a people pleaser and uses personal experience to illustrate how this dynamic can play out.

💡Hot and cold dynamic

The hot and cold dynamic refers to the fluctuation between showing interest and showing disinterest, which can create a sense of unpredictability and excitement. The video explains that this dynamic can be addictive and cause people to chase after those who exhibit it. It is suggested that the inconsistency of this approach can make people feel more emotionally invested and eager to pursue the person who is displaying these behaviors.

💡Imagination

Imagination in the context of the video is the mental process of forming ideas, images, or concepts of external objects not present to the senses. The speaker notes that cold individuals can trigger others' imagination, making them wonder why they are not receiving attention or affection. This can lead to self-reflection and the creation of scenarios in one's mind about how to win over the cold person, which can intensify the attraction and desire to pursue them.

Highlights

Being cold is about emotional distance, not just physical coldness.

Coldness can sometimes be a reaction to disrespect and can help gain respect.

A little coldness can be beneficial for gaining seriousness and respect.

People who are perpetually cold may not be able to control that aspect of their personality, leading to negative outcomes.

The video aims to help those who are overly warm to understand the attraction to coldness.

People tend to like those who don't reciprocate their feelings, causing a chase.

Cold people are often seen as a challenge, which can lead to attraction.

Scarcity effect makes cold or less available people more desirable.

Cold people can give a sense of independence and freedom, which can be attractive.

Familiarity with coldness in past relationships can make people attracted to cold partners.

Cold people's non-verbal cues such as relaxed tone and slower response can be attractive.

Cold people can confirm one's bias of not deserving love, leading to attraction to those who provide incomplete love.

People pleasers are attracted to cold people because it triggers their insecurities.

Inconsistent behavior (hot and cold) can make people chase after cold individuals.

Cold people activate imagination, making others wonder and self-reflect.

Cold people are often seen as more competent and professional.

Cold people rarely come back, which can lead to a lack of validation and further chasing.

Transcripts

now what guys have to understand is that

this is not just about being cold to

women this is more of an emotional

distance and this is how women tend to

react to men who are emotionally distant

now for this to work and and and and

it's not for this to work this is just

to help you understand why some women

are attracted to cold men this is to

help you understand that sometimes your

coldness in a little a little dose of

coldness is what you need to gain

respect right because coldness is is

your reaction to dis respect so these

guys that I'm going to be talking about

um are guys that are perpetually cold

and those types of guys cannot control

that part of their personality and so it

backfires on them but if you're someone

who has a good heart and you're just too

warm this video is actually of help

because sometimes you need a little bit

of coldness for people to take you

seriously you know what I'm saying so

let's continue all been in a situation

where when somebody like doesn't like us

back we tend to to like them and when

somebody likes us we tend to not like

them back and it causes us to question

why is that why is it that people who

are cold tend to be so attractive and

people who are warm tend to push people

away so in this video we're going to

talk about why Cold people why Cold men

and women tend to attract so many people

into their lives why they're so stinky

and why they tend to create in us a

sense of insecurity that makes us want

to impress them that makes us want to

chase them right so so if you're

watching this video this video is more

of an encouragement not to be mean not

to be cold but to adapt certain traits

especially if you're someone who's

considered to be nice warm and somebody

who some people might say let other

people take advantage of them because

that's how I tend to be sometimes I'm

more of a nice person I'm more of a warm

fuzzy person on the inside and so

because of that I tend to sometimes let

people take advantage of me because I

want I want people to like me back right

so we're going to explain why those

types of people are so attractive and

what you can do to apply that in your

life so don't forget we Happ 50% off all

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so let's begin look the first thing is

that they are a challenge they're

challenge they represent to us a lot of

the times people who hurt us because the

people who didn't like us back left a

hole inside of us and that hole tends to

manifest itself that whenever we see

somebody who doesn't like us whenever we

see someone who's not fully investing in

US it tends to activate that hold that

mechanism and and and just like a baby

who who who when you put a nipple in

front of the baby is start start sucking

the same thing whenever we see someone

who's cold we start sucking

metaphorically we start chasing because

we have a need that have not been met so

we we tend to just want to win them over

for example I once went to a school many

years ago I went to a photography school

where people just didn't like me there

like I've been in two places where I

felt like I wasn't liked it was it was

that that place was also one of those

places the photography school and I'm

not going to lie I wanted to quit but I

didn't want to quit because I wanted to

win them over I remember that I didn't

want to quit because I wanted to win

them over and yes people I was a

photographer at one point I did

photography for like a year um and I

remember just not wanting to quit

because I wanted to win them over the

more they didn't like me the more

insecure I felt and naturally when I

feel insecure I like to give I like to

make people happy and so that mechanism

of them being a challenge in hindsight

was kind of insane but that's what a lot

of people that's how a lot of people

react to coldness they react to cold

coldness by seeing that as a challenge

when rather than seeing it as a

challenge you got to see that as a cue

as a note as a sign to pull away the

next thing is that they they activate

the scarcity effect in us the scarcity

effect suggest that when something is

less available or harder to attain it

becomes more desirable when someone is

cold or indifferent it creates a sense

of scarcity and so because of that

scarcity it's a psychological thing that

we're all privy to every single person

is privy to the scarcity principle that

when something is not that available

when something scares it naturally

raises its value right and so cold

people tend to be inconsistent cold

people tend to be late to a lot of the

meetups cold people are aren't even

emotionally completely there and so we

can we can sense that they're not

present and rather than us assessing

that they don't like us we take that as

a hit to our self-esteem and rather than

letting that go we feel like they stole

self-esteem from us and so we try to win

them back when in reality we should just

let them walk away right because what's

happening is the scarcity principle and

you have to look through that you have

to trust that if it's a if it's scarcity

principle that's causing you to chase

you have to trust that they're not

really as valuable as your mind is

making them to be because as soon as you

have them if you're attracted to them

because of the scarcity Principle as

soon as you have them you're going to

lose interest in them the next one is

that it gives you a sense of control

right because by you dating somebody by

you being attracted to people who are

code sometimes by them being cold and

distant it gives you some sense of

Independence so a lot of times people

are attracted to cold people to distant

men and women simply because the cold

people give them that space give them

that distance give them that freedom to

do what they want to do but what happens

is that when you tend to fall in love

now you're stuck now you are in love

with someone who wants distance when

when you just liked it in the beginning

because maybe they gave you some sense

of freedom but now that you love them

you want to bridge the gap but now you

can't bridge the gap because you start

to realize that that's actually their

nature that's who they really are and

you can't get any closer and so that'll

frustrate you and put you back into the

first step which is they become a

challenge to you people love shouldn't

be a challenge love love should be

something that you enjoy it shouldn't be

something that you should that that that

you should win them over which you

should it should be something that you

should just impress them not win them

over but impress them continually trying

to impress them not continually trying

to win them over the next thing is that

it gives you a sense of familiarity

people people may be drawn to Partners

who display coldness if they have

experienced similar Dynamics in their

past relationship and family

environments these patterns of behavior

can become familiar and therefore

comforting even if they're not healthy

right so that means some some people

believe that being showing love is to

abuse showing love is to hurt right and

some people believe that love is to try

to win someone over love is to try to

gain someone's love but in reality it

should be to enjoy the love that they

give you right but unfortunately some

people are used to cold people and some

people when they meet someone who's

healthy for them when they meet someone

who's warm they get turned off and they

tend to self-sabotage those types of

relationships some individuals who have

been accustomed to being with cold or

emotionally unavailable Partners may

feel uncomfortable when they encounter

someone who actively validates and shows

genuine care for them this discomfort

can stem from various reasons and

patterns of

behavior when someone is used to being

with cold Partners they may have

developed a belief that love and

affection are scarce or difficult to

obtain as a result they may have adapted

to seeking validation through the

pursuit of attention and

affection this pattern often involves

fighting for the attention and affection

of their partner to feel valued and

desired however when they encounter a

partner who readily validates them

without requiring a fight for attention

it can disrupt their established

patterns and create feelings of unease

this can be because they may associate

the need for validation with the

excitement and intensity of the chase

the absence of the need to fight for

attention can make some individuals lose

interest or feel uncertain about the

relationship they may subconsciously

equate the lack of challenge with a lack

of fulfillment or

excitement the absence of a familiar

struggle may leave them questioning the

authenticity of the relationship or

doubting their own desirability so a lot

of us unfortunately never had childhoods

and because of that we tend to be

attracted to people who are completely

imperfect which is's nothing wrong with

that but imperfect in the wrong way it's

one thing to have your flaws but it's

another thing to have a flaw where you

can't express emotions and it makes your

partner feel insecure right and so a lot

of people watching this including myself

to a certain degree get attracted are

familiar with coldness we are familiar

with people who don't tell us how we

feel who don't express themselves we are

familiar with with closed communication

but then when you meet someone who's

open who who has open who has an open

way of communicating who expresses their

emotions to you A lot of people will

feel uncomfortable and push those people

away right and so that's why a lot of

people get attracted to cold people

because cold people gives them that

familiarity that comfort of not being

close that comfort of lack of intimacy

and it tends to create a bigger Dynamic

where whenever you meet someone who who

can actually make you happy you're going

to push him

away the next one is that the non-verbal

cues of co- people are attractive the

non-verbal cues of co- people tend to be

more a more distant and more dominant

right they tend to be more open then

they may they may not even make as much

eye contact when they respond to you

they respond slower when they speak they

speak slower because they're so relaxed

and and even bored to a certain extent

they're non-verbal their their voice

tone is more relaxed more like this it's

not tense it's not seeking validation

and so their their their their frame

their nonverbal frame tends to be gravit

it tends to have a gravitational pull it

it tends to lower you in towards them

and that's why some non-verbal cues of

cold people are things that we have to

almost like be observant and learn from

because those non-verbal cues are

attractive those non-verbal cues do work

those non-verbal cues make someone seem

super needy appear super strong and

confident right so those so you're a

human animal and you react to non-verbal

cues if you encounter somebody that

somebody that's cold and you have and

you have and you have deep insecurities

you're going to chase them and that's

the issue with with cold

people is that cold people tend to

attract the people who annoy them the

most warn [ __ ] Melissa hey man

Melissa's Lo to living hell out of me

man get that get that goddamn girl away

from me God damn it right another thing

is that another reason is that cold

people tend to confirm your bias that

you believe you deserve this you don't

believe that you deserve to be loved you

don't believe that you deserve affection

so a lot of people then um accept

halfway lovers accept halfway love

accept halfway affection and ever and if

you you ever get the full love that a

person should get a lot of times you're

going to self-sabotage because you don't

believe you deserve this now this is at

the deeper level this is something that

you might hear me say but you might not

believe it but this is actually true

it's called impostor syndrome where you

don't believe you deserve it you don't

believe you belong and so when it comes

to love a lot of the times when we get

the love of Our Lives when we get

somebody that loves us and they're warm

because we have low self-esteem we push

them away but whenever we meet someone

that's toxic that doesn't love us the

way we should be loved that is abusive

that doesn't give us complete love and

complete intimacy and complete openness

we tend to be we we tend to be attracted

to them because a lot of the times deep

down that's what you believe you deserve

you know and your body believes you

deserve that you may not be consciously

aware of it but that's what your body

believes it deserves and so that's why

it gets attracted to that that's why

you're attracted that's why people who

like if you're not like attracted people

are attracted to Attractive people

unattracted people are attracted to

unattracted people right it's almost

like you kind of know where you where

you belong and so it's not going to let

you be attracted to anything lower than

that it's almost like the same thing you

kind of like you kind of believe that

this is where you belong this is the

type of relationship that you belong

in the next one is that you're a people

pleaser people Pleasers are attracted to

code people I just let it because code

people trigger your trigger our

insecurities I'm a people pleaser right

and so whenever I meet people that are

cold they do that to me but that doesn't

mean I'm going to love them but with

that means though is that my ego is

going to be challenged and it's going to

cause me to Chase not love them but

Chase because as soon as I get someone

that's cold and warm them up I notice in

my experience that whenever I I gain I

get someone who's usually cold attracted

to me a lot of times I end up not being

attracted to them because what I what I

was really attracted to wasn't them it

was more of like a projection mechanism

that gets turned off as soon as they

stop as soon as they stop acting cold

and another thing is that the hot and

cold Dynamic the hot and cold when

you're hot today and cold cold it

creates a pendulum swing that causes

people to chase I even have a video

about the hot and cold method and the if

you notice a lot of times when if you

notice in the past they're falling in

love with they may have used this like

notice the most addictive relationships

are the one with theot with with a lot

of highs and a lot of lows that has the

hot and the cold those are the most

addictive those are the ones that we

remember the most are not it's not the

ones that we love the most but the ones

that cause us the most pain and cause us

the most pleasure that we remember the

most you see that's why we love roller

coasters we love that kind of

relationship that's why humans are are

are are mad or crazy in nature all right

now using a hot and cold method is is

the best way to SW confusion and desire

inside a person's heart and also it

shows a lot of weaknesses it makes

people feel weak around you it makes

people want

to want to abide with whatever you tell

them to do you see what I'm saying makes

you makes God the hot and cold method

does work and un unfortunately people

who have a cold personality people women

men and women who are cold who push

people away who have a an assertive

nature to them they tend to apply the

hot and cold one day they're warm and

the next day they're affectionate I mean

the next day they're cold and that type

of hot and cold Dynamics makes people

emotional because you're not

unpredictable and that unpredictable

unpredictability causes people to chase

you more causes people to pursue you

more causes people to get more

consistency from you whenever you're not

consistent people make more effort to

make you more consistent that's why

inconsistency is such a powerful

strategy that I don't recommend but it's

something that really does work and

something that you have to be aware of

anytime you're seeing inconsistency from

people you have to counter their

inconsistency with consistent coldness

until they get consist until they get

consistent and the next one is that cold

people just activate people's

imagination it's just that simple people

cold people make people insecure cold

people make people wonder why why don't

you like me why don't you chase me the

coldness makes people think why you're

doing that it makes people ask questions

right and it also makes people

self-reflect it makes people imagine

more right because it's the coldness

that makes people want to gravitate

towards warmth and so whenever you're

cold all people are imagining is turning

you over making you warmer is seeing

your positive side in fact whenever all

whenever one day you're not cold and

you're warm and you're and you're kind

of nice to them all of a sudden they

think that you're the nice person in the

world because they're they they want to

believe it they want to believe that

you're nice they want to win you over

and so they're they they're Clinging On

to any semblance of Hope cognitive bias

caused by rose-colored glasses or the

halo effect can make it difficult for

individuals to see red flags in their

Partners the halo effect refers to a

cognitive bias where a person's overall

positive impression of someone

influences their judgment of that

person's specific traits or actions in

the context of relationships the halo

effect can cause a person to overlook

negative behaviors or traits in their

partner because they are so focused on

the positive qualities that they see for

example if someone sees their partner as

kind and caring they may Overlook signs

of possessiveness or jealousy because

they believe that their partner's

behavior is coming from a place of love

and concern similarly if someone sees

their partner as successful or

attractive they may be more likely to

overlook Nega negative traits such as

selfishness or lack of empathy the

rose-colored glasses phenomenon refers

to the tendency for individuals to view

their partner or relationship through an

overly positive lens when people are in

the early stages of a relationship they

may be so infatuated or enamored with

their partner that they Overlook red

flags or warning signs these cognitive

biases can cause individuals to ignore

red flags or warning signs that are

present in their relationship which can

lead to problem s down the road to

combat these biases it's important to

maintain perspective and stay aware of

any negative behaviors or patterns in

the relationship right and the power of

coldness is that it causes people to

imagine the worst and imagine the best

right they imagine that you're going to

leave them but also they also Imagine

whenever you give them any positive

signs they tend to then go run with it

and imagine a complete positive happy

ending right and that that's why

insecure people just tend to fall prey

to cold people it's just how it is and

we have to be careful with that we have

to like find a way to control our

emotions and that's why I recommend

having a deep meditation practice by you

having a meditation practice you can

potentially insulate yourself from this

natural human flaw that we all have

which is we attracted to co- people

right the develop a meditation practice

read The Power of Now by a CTO purchase

my course emot Mastery at 50% off or go

to a a Meditation Retreat if it's

passing a 10day silent Retreat I could

promise you anybody who does a 10day Sal

treat this will not be an issue oh and

one more thing about cold people they

never come back cold people never come

back cold people have too much pride

cold people tend to have a lot of just

general pride in that if they feel like

coming back to you they just will never

come back they don't feel sometimes they

don't feel emotions

sometimes they never really loved you

sometimes they're not even capable of

loving you I'm not saying that cold

people are narcissists I'm just saying

that cold people are people who didn't

who don't like

you co people are just people who don't

like you but are tolerating you so those

types of people just never come back and

sometimes you might think that

somebody's cold but in reality they just

don't like you and that person might get

you obsessed with them but that same

person might be so warm with somebody

else that the other person's cold and

they're warm and now that the the

Dynamics are reversed but that's just

one thing about cop pip is that they

never come back so as a result you never

get that validation I a lot of

people they can't sleep at night knowing

that somebody has want that that knowing

that somebody doesn't want them back it

so they should start doing more to chase

after them especially if they're highly

insecure you know um it's something that

I've noticed cold people who I like that

never like me back they never came back

so it's either you come back or they'll

never come back to you one or the other

in other words you're either going to

Chase or you're never going to see them

again all right all right anyways I hope

you guys enjoyed this video This is why

Cold people tend to finish first a lot

of the times right um in fact cold

people are deemed more competent cold

people are deemed more professional the

most Prof like if you meet someone and

they're cold but they're professional

you're going to see them as more

professional you're going to see them as

more able there's something about warm

people that just comes across CA as

weakness right so when you're at a job

that's why being professional a lot of

times means being cold and not in a bad

way but in a in a professional way like

a coldness like a seriousness

seriousness is coldness right and so and

that's why serious people are respected

so there is a place to be cold there is

a place to to do to be cold not too cold

but cold enough to where you are a

serious person but when it comes to the

place of Love A lot of the times that

coldness isn't really married and that's

why a lot of the times the people who

have you know lonely lives make great

bosses because they just have this

coldness that causes people to gravitate

towards them to respect them to fear

them right causes fear um but also that

fear causes a lack of intimacy between

them and other people where they respect

they're respected but they're not loved

right um anyways I hope you guys enjoy

this video um this is my new apartment

by the way I'm in Mexico City um if you

guys ever want to work with me 101 go to

mindfulattraction.org

and I'll see you guys later I got to go

to new right now so this is a [ __ ]