A Lesson from Using Dating Apps: The Friendzone

Summary

This video recounts a dating experience through Hinge, where the individual reflects on their connection with someone they met on the app. After a few phone calls, they met in person, but the attraction was less than expected. Despite having a good time, the individual realized the person didn’t meet certain personal qualities they were looking for in a partner. The story highlights the importance of honesty in relationships, the difference between friendship and romance, and how initial attraction can evolve over time. Ultimately, the relationship ended when the other person didn’t want to continue without romance, but the individual values the experience and lessons learned.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker met someone through a dating app, Hinge, and had a series of phone calls before meeting in person.
• 😀 Initially, there was a strong connection, and the speaker found the person easy to talk to, which was a good sign.
• 😀 The in-person meeting revealed slight differences in appearance from the profile photo, though the person was still recognizable.
• 😀 The speaker was honest about not feeling a romantic connection due to a lack of attraction and shared qualities they desired in a partner.
• 😀 Despite the speaker not feeling romantic attraction, the date itself was enjoyable, involving activities like mini golf.
• 😀 The speaker felt more of a friendship forming rather than a romantic connection, but acknowledged that deep feelings can grow over time.
• 😀 The speaker advised not to lead someone on by leaving the door open for future romantic possibilities when feeling unsure about attraction.
• 😀 The speaker's feelings did not change after spending more time together, and they eventually expressed that they felt it was unlikely to evolve into something romantic.
• 😀 The speaker and the other person stopped talking after a couple of months, with the other person preferring to only continue if it was a romantic relationship.
• 😀 The speaker learned to be more direct in future situations, stating feelings clearly and not leaving room for ambiguity about the relationship.
• 😀 Overall, the speaker had a positive experience despite the relationship not working out and remains glad to have met the person.

Q & A

What was the speaker’s first impression of the woman they met through Hinge?

The speaker felt a good connection with her initially, finding her easy to talk to and fun to engage with on the phone.

How did the speaker feel about the woman’s appearance when they met in person?

The speaker noticed that the woman looked slightly different from her profile photo. While he could recognize her, he didn't find her as attractive in person, though he emphasized that this wasn’t the main reason for stopping communication.

Did the speaker feel that the connection was romantic from the start?

No, the speaker did not feel a romantic connection initially. They considered her more as a friend and didn't feel any romantic attraction despite spending time together.

How did the speaker approach the relationship early on?

The speaker approached the relationship with the mindset of meeting as friends, not pursuing a romantic relationship at first. They spent time talking on the phone and texting regularly, which led to getting to know each other better.

What were the speaker’s concerns regarding the woman as a potential partner?

The speaker didn’t feel she had certain qualities they desired in a partner, such as creativity, ambition, and a sense of adventure. This made the speaker not feel a romantic connection despite growing closer as friends.

What lesson did the speaker learn from this experience?

The speaker learned not to leave the door open for future possibilities when they feel that the connection is not strong enough. They realized that initial attraction is important, and if it’s not there, it’s unlikely to develop into something more romantic.

How did the speaker handle their feelings with the woman?

The speaker was honest with the woman, telling her that they didn’t feel the relationship was heading in a romantic direction. However, they also mentioned that their feelings might change, which the speaker now feels they shouldn’t have said.

Why did the speaker suggest they could still be friends?

The speaker wanted to maintain a connection even if it wasn’t romantic. They valued the relationship as a friendship but understood that emotions could make it difficult for the woman to continue that dynamic.

How did the woman react to the speaker’s honesty about not feeling a romantic connection?

The woman stopped talking to the speaker after they expressed that they didn’t feel a romantic connection. She preferred not to continue the relationship if it wasn’t something more serious.

How does the speaker feel about the overall experience with this person?

The speaker views the experience positively overall, appreciating the opportunity to get to know her as a person. They don’t hold any ill feelings and hope she’s doing well, even though the relationship didn’t work out.