How to Build Genuine CONNECTIONS Faster Than 99% Of People

Summary

This video reveals the secret to mastering social skills, a crucial asset for success in life. It emphasizes that the key to influencing others is by making them feel valued and focusing on them in conversation. Through techniques like redirecting conversations to others' experiences and seeking their opinions, you can gain admiration and create meaningful connections. The video also highlights the importance of being clear, direct, and non-judgmental when communicating, especially in situations where others may seek your approval. The ultimate message is that social skills can be learned and refined, shaping your success in personal and professional relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Social skills are essential for success in life, accounting for 85% of your success.
• 😀 Humans have an instinctive hunger for feeling valuable in their environment, and you can use this to connect with others.
• 😀 To gain influence, make others feel like they left an impression on you, not the other way around.
• 😀 Focus conversations on the other person, allowing them to talk about themselves and share their opinions.
• 😀 Avoid talking about yourself too much and make the other person the center of the conversation.
• 😀 If someone interrupts or changes the subject, allow them to do so without trying to assert control over the conversation.
• 😀 People are drawn to those who don’t need to prove themselves, as this displays strength and confidence.
• 😀 Show others that you accept them as they are, not based on their status, job, or possessions.
• 😀 Don’t give unsolicited advice; instead, wait for someone to ask for it before offering suggestions.
• 😀 Encourage others to express their opinions and suggestions, making them feel valued and heard.
• 😀 The advice to 'just be yourself' is misleading; improving social skills requires practice and effort, just like any other skill.

Q & A

Why are social skills considered so important in life?

Social skills are crucial because they account for 85% of success in life, according to an article mentioned in the script. Whether you're a CEO, a world leader, or even starting a YouTube channel, the ability to communicate effectively and influence others is the foundation of success.

What is the 'hunger for value' mentioned in the video?

The 'hunger for value' refers to a fundamental human instinct where people seek to feel valued in their social environments. By satisfying this hunger in others, you can gain their admiration and influence, leading to stronger relationships.

How can you make someone feel valued in a conversation?

To make someone feel valued, focus on them during the conversation. Allow them to talk about themselves and build on their thoughts, or redirect a general topic to be about them. Listening attentively and showing genuine interest also reinforces their sense of value.

What is the golden rule when trying to influence someone?

The golden rule is to make the other person feel like they have influenced you. Instead of trying to impress them, show them that they are amazing and remarkable. This creates a powerful connection and makes them feel admired.

How should you handle interruptions during a conversation?

If someone interrupts you, it’s best to remain calm and let them finish speaking. This shows that you don't need to assert yourself, and conveys strength and confidence. However, if interruptions become frequent, it’s important to assert yourself politely and ask to finish your point.

Why is it important to avoid asking personal questions about someone's job, income, or habits?

Asking questions about someone's job, income, or habits can make them feel judged based on what they do or own rather than who they are as a person. It’s more valuable to show interest in them as individuals, accepting them for who they are without focusing on their social status.

What does it mean to 'not treat others as inferior' in social interactions?

To 'not treat others as inferior' means to avoid speaking down to someone, especially when they make a mistake or have a different opinion. Everyone deserves respect, regardless of their background or knowledge. This approach increases your own value in their eyes.

How can you encourage someone to strive for your admiration?

You can encourage someone to strive for your admiration by asking for their opinion and listening carefully to their thoughts. Giving them the space to express themselves makes them feel valued, and it also allows them the opportunity to impress you.

What’s the problem with the advice 'just be yourself' when it comes to social skills?

The advice 'just be yourself' is criticized in the video because it overlooks the fact that social skills require practice and improvement, just like any other skill. While being authentic is important, it's equally essential to work on refining how you communicate and interact with others.

What is the key takeaway from this video regarding social influence?

The key takeaway is that social influence is rooted in making others feel valued, showing acceptance, and not trying to assert dominance in conversations. By focusing on others, allowing them to earn your admiration, and practicing good communication, you can build stronger relationships and succeed in life.