How to Talk to Anyone | strangers, acquaintances & friends

Summary

This video script offers a comprehensive guide to mastering the art of conversation. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a balanced mindset, free from feelings of inferiority or superiority, to foster genuine connections. They share personal strategies, such as using therapy for self-growth and confidence, and preparing by reflecting on personal experiences to engage in meaningful small talk. The script provides practical tips for initiating and maintaining conversations with strangers, acquaintances, and friends, highlighting the value of active listening and the importance of being genuinely curious about others. The analogy of an 'ice picker' and 'mountain of snow' illustrates the dynamic process of building relationships through conversation, encouraging viewers to practice these skills to improve their social interactions.

Takeaways

• 🧘‍♂️ Establishing a golden mindset of equality in conversations is crucial for a healthy self-image and interaction with others.
• 🤔 Avoiding an inferiority or superiority complex allows for genuine connections and prevents self-imposed barriers in communication.
• 🧩 Therapy can be a powerful tool for self-growth and confidence, contributing to a more positive outlook in social interactions.
• 🔗 BetterHelp is a platform that connects individuals with licensed therapists for personalized and professional support.
• 📝 Preparing for conversations by reflecting on personal experiences and interests can provide a foundation for engaging dialogue.
• 📚 Keeping a journal or calendar can help you remember key events and insights to share during conversations.
• 🗣️ Small talk acts as an icebreaker and can lead to deeper and more meaningful discussions.
• 🕵️‍♀️ Observing the environment for conversation starters can help initiate interactions with strangers and build connections.
• 🤝 Genuine curiosity and asking open-ended questions can foster engaging and enjoyable conversations.
• 👂 Listening attentively and paraphrasing what others say can make them feel heard and valued in a conversation.
• 🔄 If a conversation isn't flowing, it's okay to gracefully exit and seek out more compatible interactions.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?

The main topic of the video is breaking down the art of conversation and sharing tips on how to be more comfortable talking to anyone.

What is the golden mindset the speaker suggests having before entering a conversation?

The golden mindset is to view everyone as equal, neither inferior nor superior to anyone else, which helps in avoiding feelings of inferiority or superiority complexes.

What impact does the speaker believe therapy has had on their life?

The speaker believes that therapy has been the biggest contributor to their self-growth and confidence.

How does the speaker use journaling to prepare for conversations?

The speaker uses journaling to reflect on their life and keep track of events, ideas, and learnings, which they can then use as topics during conversations.

What is the 'Morning Pages' practice mentioned in the video?

Morning Pages is a practice where one writes three pages every day in a notebook, which helps in retaining information and creating topics for conversation.

How does the speaker describe the process of having a conversation?

The speaker describes the process as being like an ice picker chipping away at a mountain of snow, where each question asked is like picking off pieces of snow, revealing more information.

What is the speaker's approach to talking with strangers?

The speaker's approach to talking with strangers is to make an observation about the environment as an icebreaker and then ask questions to find common ground and connections.

What advice does the speaker give for maintaining a natural flow in a conversation?

The speaker advises to ask questions that one is genuinely curious about, to listen attentively, and to trust that one's brain will come up with an appropriate response.

How does the speaker handle conversations with acquaintances?

The speaker suggests starting with small talk as if it's a fresh start, and if necessary, going back to the stranger's equation, while also leveraging any known information about the acquaintance.

What does the speaker suggest doing if a conversation with an acquaintance is not flowing well?

The speaker suggests that if a conversation is clunky and not serving anyone, one has the right to leave the conversation gracefully, for example, by excusing oneself to go to the bathroom.

How does the speaker define the difference between acquaintances and friends in terms of conversation?

The speaker defines acquaintances as needing to start with small talk and establish a connection, while friends are where the hard work of building a relationship has already been done, making conversations feel natural, intuitive, and easy.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Mastering Conversational Mindset

The speaker begins by acknowledging the challenges many face in conversations and introduces their golden mindset for entering conversations. They quote Eckhart Tolle to emphasize the importance of viewing everyone as equals, neither inferior nor superior. This mindset helps to prevent feelings of inferiority or superiority, which can hinder genuine connections. The speaker shares their personal growth through therapy, specifically mentioning BetterHelp for its role in their self-improvement. They highlight the benefits of therapy for self-reflection and growth, and provide a link for viewers to try BetterHelp services themselves.

05:01

🧳 Preparing for Conversations

The speaker discusses the importance of preparation before engaging in conversations. They suggest reflecting on personal experiences and maintaining a journal or calendar to keep track of life events. This preparation helps in having meaningful discussions and avoiding awkward silences. The speaker also recommends the practice of Morning Pages, a journaling exercise that can improve one's ability to retain information and generate conversation topics. They emphasize the value of being curious about a wide range of subjects to enrich the conversational experience.

10:03

🏔️ Conversational Icebreakers and Flow

The speaker compares conversation to an ice-picking activity, where each question is an attempt to uncover more about the person they are speaking with. They provide strategies for initiating conversations with strangers, such as making observations about the shared environment or asking open-ended questions. The speaker encourages genuine curiosity and active listening to guide the conversation. They also stress the importance of being fully present and not overthinking responses, as authenticity and attentiveness are key to a successful conversation.

15:05

🤝 Navigating Conversations with Acquaintances

The speaker addresses the complexities of conversing with acquaintances, who fall between strangers and friends. They suggest starting with fresh small talk or revisiting known facts about the acquaintance to rekindle the conversation. The speaker provides examples of questions that can lead to deeper discussions and emphasizes the importance of social media as a tool for finding common ground. They also mention that it's okay to leave a conversation if it lacks chemistry, and that acquaintances can be a valuable bridge to meeting new people.

👫 Conversations with Friends

In the final paragraph, the speaker touches on the ease of conversing with friends, as the foundation has already been laid through previous interactions. They describe conversations with friends as natural, intuitive, and enjoyable, highlighting the different roles friends play in one's life. The speaker encourages viewers to engage with at least five strangers in the coming month, promoting the practice of conversational skills in various social settings.

Keywords

💡Conversation

Conversation refers to a talk between two or more people. In the video's context, it is the central theme around which the entire discussion revolves. The script focuses on improving one's ability to engage in conversation, emphasizing the importance of feeling comfortable talking to anyone. An example from the script is when the speaker mentions breaking down the art of conversation according to their mindset.

💡Mindset

Mindset refers to a set of attitudes and beliefs that shape how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In the video, the speaker discusses the 'golden mindset' they adopt before entering any conversation, which is based on the idea that everyone is neither inferior nor superior to anyone else. This mindset is crucial for establishing a foundation for comfortable and equal interactions.

💡Inferior Complex

An inferior complex, also known as inferiority complex, is a feeling of inadequacy or self-doubt. The video script explains that it can arise when one perceives others as better than oneself in various aspects such as success, age, beauty, intelligence, etc. The speaker warns against the negative impact of an inferiority complex on self-expression and the ability to connect with others.

💡Superiority Complex

Superiority complex is the opposite of an inferiority complex, where a person feels superior to others. The script describes it as an assumption that one is better or more knowledgeable, leading to behaviors like being smug, arrogant, or condescending. The speaker points out that this complex can prevent people from getting to know the true self of the individual.

💡Therapy

Therapy, in this context, refers to the psychological treatment or counseling provided by a professional therapist. The speaker credits therapy as a significant contributor to their self-growth and confidence. They mention BetterHelp as a platform that connects individuals with licensed therapists, highlighting the importance of mental health and self-reflection.

💡Prep Work

Prep work, short for preparation work, is the process of getting ready or setting up for a particular task or event. In the video, the speaker talks about the subconscious checklist they go through before entering a conversation, which includes reflecting on personal experiences and preparing topics to discuss. This prep work is essential for having meaningful and engaging conversations.

💡Morning Pages

Morning Pages is a personal development practice where one writes three pages of free-flowing text every day. The speaker suggests this activity as a way to retain information and events from one's life, which can help in preparing for conversations. It serves as a tool for self-reflection and can provide material for discussion topics.

💡Icebreaker

An icebreaker is a conversational gambit used to initiate interaction with strangers by breaking the ice of initial social contact. The script provides examples of icebreakers such as making observations about the environment or asking about mutual acquaintances. These are used to start conversations and find common ground with strangers.

💡Small Talk

Small talk refers to light, informal conversation on topics that are not deeply personal or controversial. The video script discusses the importance of small talk as a precursor to deeper conversations. The speaker initially disliked small talk but later realized its value in preparing for more significant discussions and in building connections.

💡Acquaintance

An acquaintance is a person one knows slightly, but not well. In the video, the speaker addresses the challenges of conversing with acquaintances, particularly when details about past interactions are forgotten. They suggest treating acquaintances like strangers and using small talk to re-establish connections and find new topics to discuss.

💡Chemistry

Chemistry, in the context of social interactions, refers to the mutual attraction or compatibility between people. The speaker mentions that chemistry is important not only in romantic relationships but also in friendships. They note that if there is no chemistry, it's acceptable to remain acquaintances rather than progressing to a closer friendship.

💡Friend

A friend is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. The script discusses the ease of conversation with friends, as opposed to strangers or acquaintances. Friends are those with whom one has already established a strong connection and shared interests, making conversations more natural and enjoyable.

Highlights

The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a balanced mindset before entering any conversation, quoting Eckhart Tolle: 'You are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.'

Discusses the negative impacts of both inferiority and superiority complexes on self-perception and social interactions.

Mentions that therapy, particularly through BetterHelp, has been instrumental in the speaker's personal growth and confidence.

Provides a link (BetterHelp.com/jenn) for viewers to access therapy services and receive a 10% discount on their first month.

Suggests self-reflection and journaling as a method to prepare for conversations by having personal highlights ready to share.

Introduces the concept of 'morning pages' as a tool for improving self-awareness and having conversational content prepared.

Advises on using open-ended questions and showing genuine curiosity to deepen conversations and build connections.

Talks about the importance of active listening and being fully present during conversations to foster a natural flow.

Uses the analogy of an 'ice picker' and 'mountain of snow' to describe the process of extracting information and building relationships through conversation.

Recommends starting conversations with strangers by making observations about the shared environment as an icebreaker.

Encourages asking broad questions initially to allow the conversation to naturally splinter into more specific topics.

Suggests that if a conversation isn't flowing, it's okay to politely exit the interaction.

Discusses the challenge of talking to acquaintances and the strategy of treating them like strangers if you can't remember much about them.

Advises using social media as a conversation starter with acquaintances by referring to mutual connections or recent posts.

Notes that with friends, conversation should feel natural and easy due to the established foundation and shared experiences.

Encourages viewers to initiate conversations with at least five strangers in the next month as a practical exercise.

Transcripts

Folks, I have a feeling that this is gonna be

a pretty lengthy video

because today I'm gonna be breaking down

the art of conversation according to my head.

It's evident that many of us are struggling

with talking to people.

Just from the sheer amount of views

that my previous video got on talking to people,

a lot of us are struggling with this.

So, today I'm be sharing with you guys

some things that have helped my mindset,

so that I'm more comfortable talking to anyone that I meet.

So, before we get into all the tips and tricks,

we have to establish a good foundation first.

I got to talk about the golden mindset I have

before I enter any conversation

or any social activity that I do.

To quote Eckhart Tolle,

"You are neither inferior nor superior to anyone."

So, in other words, no one is above you,

no one is below you.

Every person that you meet is on an equal playing field.

And I know it's like something that we subconsciously do

where we like size ourselves up

with the people that we meet,

but if we don't keep this in check,

we're gonna either end up with an inferiority complex

or a superiority complex.

An inferiority complex is essentially

when you feel like someone is better than you.

And inferiority comes in all different types of flavors.

It could be someone who's more successful than you,

someone's older than you, someone who's more beautiful,

more followers, more intelligent.

When you feel less than and when you're feeling insecure

and you're feeling intimidated,

you are not allowing your true self to shine.

You're not giving yourself a fair chance

to have people get to know who you truly are.

And a superiority complex

is when you feel like you are better than

or more elevated than someone.

It's an assumption that just because you're further along

a certain path in your life

or more knowledgeable about a certain topic,

you feel like you can just dominate someone.

You can come off smug, arrogant, condescending.

And again, you're not giving people a fair shot

to get to know who you are

because you have this inflated sense of self.

And there's an argument to be made

that those with a superiority complex

are just struggling with their inferiority complex.

It really is like a balancing act.

So, bottom line, recognize that no one is higher than you,

no one is below you.

And when you channel this energy,

you give off grounded, calm.

Like, I know myself energy.

And ultimately, that's the kind of vibes

that I'm looking for,

and that's the kind of vibes that people are drawn to.

And one huge way that I'm able to be more attuned

with myself is through therapy.

This is also what I wanna take a quick minute

to thank BetterHelp for sponsoring this video.

Therapy is the biggest contributor

to the development of my self growth, my confidence.

I only see a net positive on going to therapy,

whether you're going through,

like, an objectively difficult time,

or if you just want to take a beat to reflect

on what's happening with your life.

So, BetterHelp connects you

to a licensed professional therapist

that's not only trained to listen,

but to give unbiased advice.

You can get started by going on my link BetterHelp.com/jenn.

There are over 4 million people

who have spent and devoted time

to getting to know themselves so much better.

And I know getting started with anything can feel daunting,

especially with therapy.

You might be worrying about finding a therapist

who's the right fit,

or you're like intimidated with face-to-face interaction.

But through BetterHelp,

they can help find a good match for you.

They have over 30,000 therapists

that range from a broad expertise

that might not be available in your area.

Getting started is super simple.

You just fill out a questionnaire that assesses your needs

and then you're matched with your therapist

in 48 hours or less.

I just love the accessibility of this

because you get to schedule a time that works for you

and then you decide whether you want a video call,

a phone call, or even text messaging.

Like, it really caters to your comfort level.

Of course, if you're not vibing with your therapist,

BetterHelp allows you to switch to a new one

at no additional cost.

There's no need to worry about,

like, insurance, or whether someone's in your network,

or anything like that.

It's just like funny how no one bats an eye

when we spend like hours of our time devoted

to our physical health,

when it's just as important

to carve out time focusing on our mental health.

So, if you're interested in trying therapy out for yourself,

click the link in the description box,

or just go to BetterHelp.com/jenn, that's better.

H-E-L-P.com/jenn for 10% off your first month.

Clicking that link help support this channel

and allows you to explore your inner mind

with a help of a licensed therapist.

Next up, let's go over some prep work.

So, this is kind of like a subconscious checklist

that I have in my mind before I enter a conversation.

First, I reflect on the things

that are going on with my life because chances are,

when you talk to someone,

you're gonna receive the questions,

like, how are you, how was your week,

what's been happening, what's new?

And in the past I would find myself like mildly irritated

with these questions because I was like,

"I hate small talk."

And sometimes my mind would just go blank.

But then I realized that it was up to me

to do some reflection beforehand so I had something to say.

So, before you go out, ask yourself these questions,

how are you?

Like, how are you really?

What happened during the week?

This is where my journal and my calendar come in,

like, come in so clutch

because it's like a running inventory of the things I did,

the ideas that I had, the things that I learned.

And so, I select maybe three or four items on that list

and I just keep them stored in my mind,

so that way I am not flustered

when someone asks me just a very simple question.

And these highlights can look like anything.

It could be something that I learned in a podcast or a book.

It could be like, did I come back from a trip?

Did I add a new regimen to my life?

Was there something amusing that happened this week?

Or did I have an aha moment?

And so, yeah, I just gather these things,

so that way I am prepared.

And if you struggle with this and you don't journal,

I highly recommend just trying out the activity

of Morning Pages.

This is when you get a notebook, big or small,

and you fill out three pages every day.

It doesn't need to be in the morning.

But ever since I started this practice during lockdown,

it has really helped me retain the information

and the events that are happening in my life.

And in these pages I would write about anything.

It could be about my day, a conversation that I had,

like a summary of an article that I read,

like from news, health, science, tech, like, anything.

I just put it all on that page

and it just helps me create topics that I'm interested in.

And the thing is,

the more subjects that you are curious about,

the more range of topics

that you can discuss with other people.

I feel like I should give like an example.

So, if someone asks me,

"Hey, Jenn, how are you?"

I'll be fairly honest, I'll be like,

if I'm having a good week, I'll be like,

"Oh, I've been pretty good, I've been grounded, stable,

just been, like, been in a good season in my life.

I think it's because I've been getting,

like a large amount of sleep.

Like, I really cleaned up my sleep hygiene routine.

I read that book, "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker

and it has just changed my life.

Boom, instantly it gives

the other person something to work with.

You have sleeping, which is an activity that all of us do.

You can ask about their sleeping routine,

if they struggle, or if they also have read that book,

or if they read another book.

So, it's the small talk

is really just the foreplay of conversation.

And from that, it splinters off

to a bunch of different topics.

But honestly, sometimes I'll like have three

or four highlights in my head and never bring them up

because the conversation is just flowing naturally.

This is just like a mechanism or a tool that I use

to keep any anxious thoughts at bay

because I know I'm prepared.

So, now, I'm going to attempt

on dissecting what conversation feels like for me.

So, when I'm in a conversation,

I imagine myself as an ice picker

and I imagine the person that I'm speaking to

as a mountain of snow.

Each question I ask that person

is like me ice picking off that mountain.

Sometimes a little speck will come out

or a chunk of snow will come out.

And sometimes if I'm at a really good flow

then an avalanche comes

and the snow is the information that you receive.

If someone is significant to me

and I wanna remember what they say,

that's me essentially making an effort to gather the snow,

AKA, the information that they told me,

that requires me to remember what they said

in my heart and my head.

And as you collect more snow,

it becomes into a small snowball,

and those are your acquaintances.

And as you pick and gather more snow,

it gets bigger and bigger.

And those larger snowballs, those are your friends.

And as you continue to pick and roll the snow,

the snowballs become very large.

And the big ones, those are your best friends.

I really like this analogy

when it comes to like friendships and conversation

because it shows like the fluidity of everything.

And if you leave something a little bit too long,

it can end up melting.

And for some people, it can melt faster, others...

It's, you are just in Antarctica

and it does not want to melt.

I just wanted to say that analogy to set the stage

on talking to different categories of people.

Let's begin with talking with strangers

because oddly enough I find this category the most exciting

because you don't know anything about this person,

they don't know anything about you.

It's a fresh start.

And so, I am just excited to get on that mountain

and see what comes out when I start picking.

I also think I get this thrill

because there's like this mysterious element,

like I truly believe that there is something to learn

from everyone that we meet in our lives.

And that really, really excites me.

So, when I enter a conversation,

I think it's like my job to find something in common

and find a connection.

So, when I wanna talk to a stranger that I've never met,

my go-to icebreaker is just to make an observation

in the environment that we're currently in

because automatically that's something in common.

So, if we're at a bar, I'll be like,

"Oh, wow, this menu's pretty overwhelming.

What'd you get?"

If I'm at a show, "Ah, I love this song.

Have you seen this band before?"

If they're wearing a cool accessory, "I love your earrings."

Are they vintage?"

And the easiest one is if you're at a party

and you know someone mutual, then you say,

"Oh, so how do you know Veronica?"

I can go on and on,

but I feel like this icebreaker is,

honestly, just to test the waters

to see if there's a vibe or not.

And the worst thing that can happen is they respond to you

and they leave and then you didn't lose anything anyway.

Like, you are probably never

gonna see this person in your life.

It's not like you lost someone, like, crucial in your life.

Like, you're exactly where you left off

and you got some more practice with your small talk.

Mm-hmm, because it's 100% a muscle.

Talking to people is nothing but a muscle.

The more you do it, the better at it you become.

However, if the person is engaged and is amused,

then that's when you can like start asking questions

and start picking the mountain.

Everything that they say is an opportunity

for a new topic that can be splintered.

Pro tip is to ask questions

that you are genuinely curious about

because when you have that authentic buzz of like,

oh, I really wanna know,

that enthusiasm permeates the energy

and it's like infectious.

So, again, this is where like prep work

and checking in with yourself is really important

because then you kind of already know

some topics that you're into.

Discovering topics that you're really interested in,

really helps.

So, then, you kind of like buckets of categories

that you feel comfortable talking about.

So, for me, I love talking about love, relationships,

film, food, restaurants, tech, music, shows,

current affairs, memes, books.

And the more pillars that you have,

the easier it is to connect.

So, it's like doubtful that I'd bring up topics

like quantum physics or sailing

because I don't know anything about them.

But the thing is I'm very open

and eager for people to talk about

whatever they wanna talk about as well.

Like, for example, like I met someone's dad

and he was like a rheumatologist

and so we're just talking about like health

and like studies that he found

and what his patients are like.

But the thing is with these questions,

you want it to have a good flow.

Like, if you ask a question, give it some space.

Like, see where it wanders, see where it splinters.

Like, just random questions like,

what kind of animal would you be?

Like, it can feel forced and trite.

I would always start off with broad strokes first,

like, how was your week?

How was your day?

If you're at a party, where are you coming from?

Opens up the door for the next topic.

So, if I ask someone, how was your day?

And they respond by saying,

"Oh, my day was good, work was a little stressful,

my commute is like pretty long."

Oh, it was, like, how long is your commute?

An hour?

So, are you more of like a music

or a podcast person while driving?

And loop, you have an in.

Suddenly, you can talk about records they're listening to,

or podcast they're listening to.

Remember in conversation, if someone is not opening up,

it is up to you to set the stage by opening up first.

And of course, conversation is always a two-way street,

so if they wanna talk about crafting, for example.

Like, I personally don't craft,

but I will try and find something

that I am curious about it.

So, I'll ask them,

oh, how'd you get started with crafting?

What's the last thing that you created?

What's your process?

How long does it take

for you to complete something like that?

I think what really helps conversation flow

is when I am just giving them my full complete focus.

I'm not looking around at the party,

I'm not trying to think about something wise,

or like, come up with an obscure reference or whatever.

Like, I am truly just listening to them.

And when I trust that my brain

is gonna come up with an appropriate response,

it usually does.

Because when you're trying to think

of the best thing to say, that's your perfectionist showing.

Ultimately, no one really cares about like a quote from,

I don't know, Kurt Vonnegut.

People just want to feel heard and to be seen.

So, when I don't really know what to say,

when someone says something to me,

the best thing I do is I just paraphrase what they said

and that's enough.

Like, it makes people feel like they've been heard.

And ultimately, that's what many people want

in a conversation.

Trust me, like, all of this is trial and error.

And there have been a lot of conversations

that I've been in where I literally just crashed

and burden just made it a complete idiot out of myself.

But the thing is I didn't die,

it just made me into a better conversationalist

'cause I was like, maybe I just shouldn't say that.

So, now, let's move on to acquaintances.

I think that this category is arguably the most difficult

because acquaintances are not strangers

and they're not friends.

And I used to get really in my head

about certain acquaintances

because I would forget everything

that we talked about in the past

and it was really embarrassing.

I was not collecting the snow, if you will.

So, let's say there's an acquaintance where I'm like,

I don't remember anything about this person.

It's fine, just go back to the stranger's equation.

Start with the small talk.

Like, pretend that it's just like a brand new mountain.

When I believe that there's a fresh start,

I am just inherently better at it

because I feel like I get to start again.

But chances are with most acquaintances,

I know at least, like, two or three facts about them

in my Rolodex of information.

Is this person in a relationship?

Is this person single?

Is this person in school?

Do they have any siblings?

Each one of these questions

can branch out into a different topic.

So, if they're in a relationship,

ask them how their partner are doing.

Like, how did their partner and them meet?

If they're single, ask them the last bad date they went on.

If they're in school,

ask them about a project they're working on.

If they have any siblings,

ask them if they're like younger or older

and if that, like, birthplace had any effect

on their sense of development.

I don't know, these are questions

that I personally would like receiving,

so that's why I ask them to other people.

If you and an acquaintance

are following each other on social media,

that's also a really easy icebreaker

because you can like look at their stories

and ask them about that cafe they went to,

or that restaurant, or how their trip was.

This is all a form of ice picking

and letting that snow fall.

If a conversation continues to be clunky

and it is not serving anyone, you have every right to leave.

My favorite line is, ah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

I'll see you in a bit.

Chemistry is seriously a thing,

not only in romantic relationships,

but in friendships as well.

If there is no chemistry, like, friendship chemistry,

then it's fine to acquaintance-zone people.

And it is fine if people acquaintance-zone me.

Acquaintances are great

because it's so nice to see familiar faces in spaces

and you might end up having like a cute conversation.

Also, acquaintances are one of the best ways

to meet more people because acquaintances

and friends introduce you to strangers.

So, it's just like this cycle that keeps on going.

And finally, we have the friend category.

To be honest, I don't really have too much prepare

on this section because friends are the ones

where you have already done the hard work.

Like, you've already established a foundation,

you've done a lot of ice picking,

you know the mountain really well.

You know if you pick here, chunks of snow will come out.

You know if you pick there,

just maybe a little will come out.

But the fact is, with your friends,

conversation should feel natural, intuitive,

easy, ambling, fun, lively.

Like, this is why they're your friends.

And each friend has like a different character profile.

There are some friends where you just speak mostly about,

I don't know, like, light stuff or there's like stuff,

friends that you go to parties with,

friends that you work out with,

friends that you just spill all your guts with,

friends that you just lay and do nothing with,

and your best friends are the ones

that tick a lot of those boxes.

All right guys, I feel like the sun

is totally cutting me off here,

but I think it's a good time to wrap this video up.

I hope watching this helped you get a little,

like, less out of your head on talking to people.

I hope you guys talk to at least five strangers

in the next month.

And I'll see you guys in the next one, bye.

(relaxing music)