Writing with the Enneagram: Type 3

Summary

This video delves into the complexities of Enneagram Type 3, also known as 'The Achiever,' exploring how their identity is shaped by a need for external validation and success. Threes constantly strive to prove their worth, often at the cost of authenticity, resulting in a tragic cycle of never feeling 'enough.' Through examples from film and television, such as *A Star is Born*, *Creed III*, and *Rango*, the video highlights the journey of Threes toward self-discovery and the challenge of reconciling ambition with genuine self-acceptance. True growth for Threes lies in embracing their authentic selves, beyond accolades and approval.

Takeaways

• 😀 Threes have a core emotional void where self-esteem should reside, and they try to fill it with success, external validation, and achievements.
• 😀 The classic Three character is driven by the need to prove their worth through external success, often leading to a feeling of emptiness despite outward achievements.
• 😀 Threes fear failure and believe they must constantly prove their worth to earn love and validation, leading to a pursuit of external success at all costs.
• 😀 A Three's true growth comes when they can find internal satisfaction and stop seeking validation from external sources like a career, reputation, or admiration.
• 😀 Characters like Ali from *A Star Is Born* exemplify Threes by initially seeking success but ultimately rediscovering their authenticity and identity.
• 😀 Threes often struggle with a desire to be seen as the best, and they may feel like failures even when they achieve success, as the goalpost is always moving.
• 😀 Media examples such as *Rango* and *Creed III* highlight how Threes must confront their own ego and learn to embrace their true selves, free from the need for validation.
• 😀 Tragic Three characters, like Diana in *Network* and Sir Kristen Cole in *House of the Dragon*, lose themselves in their pursuit of success and external recognition.
• 😀 Threes may often embody the archetype of the 'rich, successful person' or the 'striving socialite,' but their need to prove their worth stems from a deeper inferiority complex.
• 😀 Redemption for Threes involves relinquishing their obsession with status and accepting their inherent worth, often requiring them to risk their reputation or step back from leadership roles.
• 😀 In media, Threes are often depicted as obsessively pursuing their career goals or romantic relationships, and their growth comes from balancing these external goals with self-authenticity.

Q & A

What is the central issue faced by Enneagram Type 3 individuals?

The central issue for Type 3s is their deep-seated need to prove their worth to others, which often leads to an over-reliance on external validation. They strive for success, recognition, and achievement to fill an inner 'hole' of self-esteem, constantly fearing that without success, they will be unworthy of love or respect.

How do Type 3s try to fill the 'hole' of self-esteem, according to the script?

Type 3s attempt to fill their inner 'hole' by focusing on different external factors: relationships (like Type 2s), decoration and identity (like Type 4s), or through achievement and success (their main focus). They look for external validation to confirm their worth, but this never fully satisfies them.

What role does failure play in the growth of a Type 3?

For Type 3s, failure often becomes a catalyst for growth. They typically need to experience failure or a setback to begin confronting their fixation with success and external validation. In some cases, achieving everything they wanted can also feel like a failure, leading to a deeper realization that success alone does not provide fulfillment.

How is the character Ally from *A Star is Born* a representation of a Type 3?

Ally represents a Type 3 because her journey is about achieving success in the music industry, but at the cost of her authenticity. As she becomes a manufactured pop star, she loses touch with her original, soulful self, and only through her relationship with her husband does she begin to rediscover her true identity.

What is the core desire of Type 3s, and how does it manifest in their actions?

The core desire of Type 3s is to feel worthy of love and respect, which they believe can only be achieved through success and external validation. This manifests in their actions through a relentless pursuit of goals, perfectionism, and an intense focus on presenting a successful and polished image to the world.

Why do Type 3s often have difficulty embracing their true selves?

Type 3s have difficulty embracing their true selves because they fear that without success, they are unworthy. Their self-worth is often linked to their achievements and the image they project, leading them to suppress their authentic emotions and desires in favor of maintaining a successful façade.

How does the movie *Rango* illustrate the growth of a Type 3 character?

In *Rango*, the main character starts as a fraud, craving external validation and success. His journey involves confronting his insecurities and discovering his true identity. Only by embracing his authentic self can he fully realize his potential and become the 'real thing' he always pretended to be.

What is the common tragedy for Type 3s in storytelling?

The common tragedy for Type 3s is their inability to find fulfillment in their success. Even when they achieve everything they desire, they often feel empty, as their self-worth is always dependent on external validation. Without a shift towards internal validation, they risk losing themselves in their pursuit of perfection and status.

How does the character of Diana from *Network* embody the darker side of Type 3?

Diana in *Network* embodies the darker side of Type 3 by ruthlessly climbing the hierarchy of the television industry, sacrificing her authenticity and humanity in the process. Her obsession with power and success leads her to a place of soulless ambition, where she loses all sense of self and becomes a tragic, hollow figure.

What is the ultimate growth moment for a Type 3, according to the script?

The ultimate growth moment for a Type 3 involves letting go of their need for external validation and achieving true internal satisfaction. This could involve sacrificing their reputation or success for a greater cause and embracing authenticity without seeking praise or recognition. It's a process of learning to be content with who they are, regardless of external outcomes.