What stands in the way of women being equal to men? BBC News
Summary
TLDRThe video script explores the complexities of gender equality from various perspectives across different cultures. It features personal narratives from young girls and women who express their frustrations and limitations due to societal expectations. The script also includes insights from parents, highlighting their concerns for their daughters' safety and opportunities. It touches upon the influence of cultural norms and stereotypes on gender roles, the impact of pornography on boys' perceptions of girls, and the challenges faced by girls in navigating societal pressures. The video emphasizes the need for collective action from individuals, parents, teachers, and society at large to challenge traditions and beliefs that hinder gender equality. It suggests that achieving gender equality is not just a legal or educational issue, but a matter of individual and collective priorities and decisions.
Takeaways
- 🚫 **Gender Stereotypes**: The transcript highlights how societal expectations and gender norms can limit individuals, particularly girls, from participating in activities or expressing themselves freely.
- 👧 **Double Standards**: It points out the double standards that exist in various cultures where girls are often judged more harshly or have fewer freedoms than boys.
- 🌍 **Global Perspective**: The script explores gender equality on a global scale, showing that no country has been declared gender-neutral or equal, despite laws that aim to prevent discrimination.
- 👗 **Clothing and Expectations**: It discusses the expectations placed on girls regarding their appearance and behavior, and the desire for girls to be able to wear what they want without judgment.
- 🏡 **Family Influence**: The role of parents and family in shaping gender roles and expectations is examined, with examples of both restrictive and supportive home environments.
- 👶 **Childcare and Gender Roles**: There's an emphasis on traditional views where women are seen as the primary caregivers, which can limit men's participation in child-rearing.
- 📚 **Educational Opportunities**: The importance of equal access to education for girls is mentioned, as it can be a key factor in breaking gender stereotypes and promoting equality.
- 🏋️♀️ **Sports and Activities**: The transcript addresses the gendered expectations around sports and physical activities, where girls are sometimes discouraged from participating in certain sports.
- 🤝 **Cultural Traditions**: It touches on how cultural traditions and practices, such as the 'labola' custom in Lutu, can contribute to gender inequality and the perception that women are traded or bought.
- 👀 **Awareness and Change**: The script suggests that awareness of gender inequality is growing, but meaningful change requires challenging long-held beliefs and stereotypes.
- 💪 **Individual Action**: Finally, it emphasizes that achieving gender equality will require individual decisions and actions from everyone, not just waiting for laws or policies to change.
Q & A
What is the main concern expressed by the young girl in the beginning of the transcript?
-The young girl expresses her concerns about the limitations she faces as a girl, such as not being able to go out at night, speak out in class, or stand up for herself without being seen as disrespectful or wild. She also mentions gender stereotypes that can prevent her from pursuing certain roles or activities.
What does the father in the script think about the influence of gender on opportunities and freedoms?
-The father is concerned about the opportunities and freedoms his daughters may or may not be able to enjoy due to their gender. He wants to explore why, despite laws preventing gender-based discrimination, there is still an evident disparity in how boys and girls are treated.
How does the girl named Vas feel about her freedom in Iceland?
-Vas appreciates the freedom she has in Iceland, where she is allowed to go out until late at night without her parents' accompaniment. However, she acknowledges that this level of freedom might not be common in other places.
What does the girl from Jordan, Meera, think about the gender roles in her society?
-Meera feels restricted by the gender roles in her society. She mentions that there are many things a woman can't do and that girls are often blamed for their mistakes due to their reputation. She expresses a desire for more freedom and to be treated the same as boys.
What is the perspective of Maran, Meera's father, on gender equality and the roles of men and women?
-Maran believes in gender equality but also in the distinct roles of men and women. He thinks that women should be more 'soft' and 'cute' and that they need to be taken care of. He also expresses concern about his daughter being too liberal and not adhering to traditional values.
How does the mother from Lutu justify the tradition of 'labola'?
-The mother from Lutu justifies 'labola', the custom where a man's family pays a woman's family before marriage, by saying it's part of their culture. She compares it to a business transaction, where the woman's family is compensated for giving away their daughter.
What is the main challenge that Lulu and her friends face in their social interactions?
-Lulu and her friends face challenges such as sexism and objectification in their social interactions. They experience derogatory comments and inappropriate sexual remarks from boys, which they find pervasive and distressing.
How does the consumption of porn affect the perceptions of boys towards girls, according to the script?
-The script suggests that the consumption of porn can lead to unrealistic expectations and objectification of girls. Boys may develop a skewed perception of sex and women based on pornographic content, which can influence how they treat and view girls in real life.
What is the father's perspective on the role of women in the home and society?
-The father believes that women have a specific role in the home, which is primarily to take care of children and manage the household. He suggests that while men can help, women are naturally more capable in these areas. This belief may contribute to gender stereotypes and limit women's roles in society.
What challenges do the girls face in terms of gender equality and how do they express their frustration?
-The girls face various challenges such as limited freedom, societal expectations, and stereotypes that prevent them from doing certain activities or pursuing their dreams. They express their frustration by discussing their experiences, desiring change, and seeking support from others to challenge these norms.
What is the general attitude towards feminism as portrayed in the script?
-The script portrays a mixed attitude towards feminism. Some individuals are dismissive of feminists, viewing them as overly focused on women's rights. Others, however, see feminism as a positive force for change and equality, and express a desire to break through the 'glass roof' that limits women's potential.
Outlines
😀 Gender Stereotypes and Their Impact on Girls
The first paragraph addresses the societal limitations placed on girls and women, such as not being able to go out at night, speak out in class, or stand up for themselves without fear of being judged. It highlights the gender stereotypes that dictate roles, like a man being a pilot and a woman catering on a plane. The speaker expresses a desire for a future where gender does not limit personal choices and criticizes the double standards that exist in society, such as blaming women for their reputations when they make mistakes. The paragraph also touches on the experiences of being a father and the influence of gender on daily life, with a focus on the opportunities and freedoms that children may not have due to their gender.
🌍 Exploring Gender Equality and Cultural Differences
The second paragraph explores the concept of gender equality across different cultures. It contrasts the freedoms and restrictions that girls experience in Iceland, which ranks high on the gender equality index, with those in Jordan, which ranks low. The narrative follows a girl named Vas in Iceland, who has the freedom to go out late and walk home alone, a rarity in many parts of the world. The paragraph also discusses the expectations and pressures on girls in Jordan, where societal norms and cultural expectations limit their behavior, such as not being allowed to smoke or have boyfriends at a young age. It emphasizes the disparities in gender equality and the personal perspectives of individuals living in these different cultural contexts.
🚫 Restrictions and Expectations on Girls' Behavior
The third paragraph delves into the double standards and restrictions that girls face in various societies, particularly in Jordan. It discusses the frustration girls feel when they are not allowed the same freedoms as boys, such as socializing with the opposite sex or participating in certain sports. The narrative also touches on the expectations that girls should be well-dressed and maintain their reputation, contrasting with the lack of such expectations for boys. The paragraph highlights the personal accounts of girls who feel they cannot voice their opinions or stand up to their parents without fear of being seen as disrespectful.
🤔 Cultural Justifications for Gender Inequality
The fourth paragraph examines the role of culture and tradition in perpetuating gender inequality. It presents viewpoints from Lutu, where traditional practices like labola (the transfer of money or cattle from the groom's family to the bride's family as part of the marriage arrangement) are justified as cultural norms. The paragraph explores the tension between the desire for gender equality and the resistance to change deeply ingrained cultural practices. It also includes perspectives from both men and women on the roles they believe they should play within the family and society, and how these beliefs impact gender equality.
👨👩👧👦 The Pressure of Gender Roles in Relationships
The fifth paragraph discusses the societal expectations and pressures that come with gender roles within relationships and marriage. It presents a scenario where a woman might out-earn her husband and the cultural discomfort that arises from such a situation. The narrative explores the concept of labola in Lutu, where it is seen as a form of compensation to the bride's family, and how it might be perceived as a transactional practice. The paragraph also reflects on the potential for gender equality to be undermined by such traditions and the need for a collective decision to challenge and change these norms.
🤷♀️ The Struggle for Gender Equality and Female Empowerment
The sixth paragraph focuses on the struggle for gender equality and the challenges faced by women who strive for empowerment. It contrasts the optimism of a young woman in Iceland, who believes in the country's progressive direction, with the cautionary perspective of her mother, who acknowledges that there is still much to be done. The narrative highlights the societal pressures on women to excel while also fulfilling traditional roles, such as being responsible for household chores and childcare. It also touches on the prevalence of sexism and the normalization of derogatory language and attitudes towards women in everyday life.
👥 Cultural Shifts and the Impact on Girls' Safety
The seventh paragraph explores the cultural shifts and their impact on the safety and freedom of girls. It discusses the protective measures taken by parents in different societies, driven by concerns for their daughters' safety and reputation. The narrative contrasts the conservative approach of a father in Jordan, who believes in the importance of protecting his daughter's reputation and adhering to religious and cultural norms, with the experiences of girls in other societies. It also touches on the influence of pornography on boys' perceptions of girls and the normalization of sexist attitudes.
👊 Breaking the Glass Roof: Feminism and Empowerment
The eighth paragraph emphasizes the challenges faced by women who identify as feminists and the need for collective action to achieve gender equality. It highlights the negative connotations associated with the term 'feminist' and the resistance to change from societal norms. The narrative calls for a shift in priorities and a reevaluation of traditions and beliefs to make way for gender equality. It concludes with a call to action for individuals, parents, teachers, and society as a whole to make decisions that will drive progress towards gender equality.
👪 Family Influences on Gender Roles and Expectations
The ninth and final paragraph discusses the role of family in reinforcing gender roles and expectations. It presents the viewpoint of a mother who believes in the traditional role of women being responsible for raising children and managing the household. The paragraph explores the idea that these roles are not about fairness but about adapting to societal rules. It also touches on the struggle of women who want to be taken seriously and the societal pressures they face, including the need to break through the 'glass roof' that limits their potential. The narrative ends with a call for support from the younger generation in the fight for gender equality.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Gender Equality
💡Stereotypes
💡Cultural Traditions
💡Sexualization
💡Feminism
💡Freedom and Autonomy
💡Gender Discrimination
💡Role Models
💡Pornography Influence
💡Parental Attitudes
💡Societal Pressures
Highlights
A young girl expresses her limitations due to gender stereotypes, such as not being able to go out at night or speak out in class without fear of being judged.
The societal expectation of women being well-dressed and attractive, contrasting with the lack of similar expectations for men.
A father's perspective on gender influence and the importance of equal opportunities for his daughters.
The realization that most countries have laws against gender discrimination but still fall short of gender neutrality.
A girl's frustration with being silenced and not taken seriously when discussing gender equality issues.
Iceland's leading position in the gender equality index, with equal paternity and maternity rights and boardroom quotas for women.
A young girl's freedom to go out late at night unaccompanied in Iceland, highlighting the country's gender equality.
The disparity in freedom between boys and girls in Jordan, with girls facing more restrictions and societal pressures.
A 15-year-old girl's desire for more freedom, such as trying smoking, as a form of rebellion against societal norms.
The double standards in gender equality, where girls face more scrutiny and limitations than boys, even in countries that promote equality.
The normalization of sexism and objectification of women in the UK, as experienced by a teenage girl.
The influence of pornography on teenage boys' perceptions of sex and their interactions with girls.
A mother's concern for her daughter's safety and the societal pressures that contribute to gender inequality.
The cultural tradition of 'labola' in Lutu, where a man's family pays the woman's family as part of the marriage arrangement, reinforcing the idea of women as commodities.
The belief that women's roles are primarily as mothers and homemakers, which can limit their aspirations and opportunities.
The need for millions of individual decisions to actively pursue gender equality, rather than passively expecting it to happen.
The importance of challenging traditional gender roles and stereotypes as a collective effort to achieve gender equality.
Transcripts
[Music]
[Music]
there are a lot of things I can't do
like I can't go out at night like to
parties I can't like
speak out in class I can't really stand
up for myself because I don't people see
that as a girl being disrespectful or
just a wild crazy
child I think that being a girl um can
stop me from doing some things for
example when you think about a plane you
think about a guy as the pilot and a
girl as the one who is catering the food
and stuff like that and I think about
when I become older I want to do like
whatever I want to do
and it doesn't contain whether I'm a
girl or a
boy when any girl do a mistake they
always blame her because of her
reputation not like a boy there a lot of
things that a woman can't do and maybe
some womens would love to do
that I'd like to be treated the same as
boys I like to wear what I want to
without anything being expected of
me and I'd like to go where I want do
what I want wear what I want as well
without anyone saying no you can't do
that you're a
[Music]
girl want me to help you it's breakfast
time at home in London on a dark winter
morning I'm getting ready to take our
2-year-old Esther to nursery and her big
sister Alice to school right should we
go off to Nursery now being a dad at the
school Gates Isn't So unusual anymore
but I'm still definitely in the minority
and I should add I don't do this
anywhere near as often as my wife does
gender still has a huge influence on how
we all live our lives and having two
daughters has brought that into sharp
Focus for
me like any parent whether you've got
boys or girls you always worry about the
opportunities that they're going to get
and the freedoms that they may or may
not be able to enjoy and the more I
think about it the more I want to
explore why it is that actually most
countries in the world have laws that
prevent boys and girls and men and women
being treated differently but actually
their experience is that that still
happens no country in the world has been
assessed and declared to be gender
neutral gender equal so I want to try
and understand what it is about the
social and cultural exchanges that these
two have as they're growing up that
maybe mean they don't have the same
chance as a boy would
they just think like oh she's a feminist
you know she just H it's just like so
annoying that's often the comment I get
just oh like shut up just they don't
bother to listen even when someone just
shut you down like just like don't say
that it's just like you kind of just
like lose the willing to want to talk
talk about it you
know if you look at the most recent
gender equality index from the world
economic Forum this place Iceland is
right at the top that means it's better
than anywhere else when it comes to
making men and women and girls and boys
equal paternity and maternity rights are
the same and recently boardroom quotas
for women were introduced so on the face
of it if you're a 15-year-old girl
Iceland's As Good As It Gets you're on
your own yeah I'm always home alone when
I come
home a woman is like expected to be like
always well-dressed and and sexy and hot
even but a guy isn't really expected to
be that but when you're a girl people
like they care way too much they're just
like why is he wearing that why is he
saying that everything is
questioned okay ready to
go it's Friday night vas's parents are
already out and she's spending the
evening at a local youth club where she
often
goes vigas is allowed to go out until
11: p.m. sometimes even midnight and
then she walks Home Alone down empty
dimly lit streets I wonder if she and
her friends realize how unusual that is
we are aware of that it's it is unique
that we can just go out and not another
and my mom was actually just talking
about it the other day that she wouldn't
want to live anywhere else because then
she would always be so worried
about me not coming home you know when
when I'm out with my friends until like
11 or 12 but this must give you an
amazing amount of Freedom about what you
can do because you're not reliant on
your parents to come and get you the
whole time yeah I was in New York the
other day and I couldn't go out to
Central Park be because it was more than
I think eight and I thought it was
really weird after 8:00 p.m. that I
couldn't go out and walk across Central
Park
and then we know that if we travel we
have to be more careful we know
[Music]
that our parents are always afraid for
us from uh the people from the society
from everything outside uh and I think
they like the idea of staying at home is
better for
us it's frustrating when you are at home
and you really get bored because you
can't do anything at home not like
boys I've come to Jordan and you don't
have to spend very much time here to see
that girls and boys and women and men
are performing quite different roles and
I suppose my definition of gender
equality has always been that girls and
boys and men and women should be able to
do whatever they want and I'm very
interested in an alternative perspective
which is that actually men and women are
equal but they're also different and I'm
really interested to have that
perspective explained to
me Jordan is ranked close to the bottom
of the gender equality index just over
10% of its parliamentarians are women
and there's no legislation prohibiting
gender
discrimination
the 15-year-old merera has equal access
to education and her father Maran has
high expectations of what she can
achieve the women and girls are
preparing the food and in a tradition
that appears to cross cultures Maran
takes charge of the
barbecue do lots of men like cooking or
you're a bit unusual uh well I like I
like uh during vacation I like to cook
to make give my wife more relaxation my
kids and I enjoy to make barbecue
actually now all children grow up with
rules but being a Muslim girl in an Arab
country merera has more than most but
what would you do with more freedom I
would
smoke I would try to smoke because
always boys when they get nervous or um
get mad of um something they smoke so I
would cigarettes yes you want to smoke
cigarettes I
would would you like to try
smoking
no in England it's quite normal for 15
or 16-year-old girls to maybe have a
boyfriend do you think
that that's too much freedom for a girl
when she's 15 or 16 I think it's too
much freedom for a girl who is uh her
age is 15 because um she's not a grown
up to think what uh she wants in her
life and what she should
do do you guys talk about
boys yeah
sometimes if you said to your father I
think I want to have a relationship when
I'm 18 or
19 what would your father say no I think
he will disagree this idea he would will
not like this
idea I think he will kill
[Laughter]
me
[Music]
seem a lot of boys they will be like oh
you a virgin and if a girl says yes
they'll be like but you're 16 or you're
15 like is it not
time there's a lot of pressure on girls
definitely in this country it's not a
nice culture at
all
my 16-year-old Lulu lives in southeast
London the UK ranks number 18 on that
same gender equality index on average
women get paid a third less than men for
the same work and they make up 23% to
Parliament certainly Lulu and her
friends have much more freedom than mea
to socialize with boys but they're fed
up with how some boys are talking to
them can I have your number no well
you're a hoe then and then as soon as
you say no oh you're a skank anyway
little ho okay let just walk away you
can either be a scank or [ __ ] one of
three not putting in the number it's
just that it's we're so used to it now
yeah it's just just repeat every day
yeah so it's like a thing where it's not
even a big thing anymore or like they're
just bragging oh yeah I did things that
I beat her I banged her I banged her
bang
bangang the place where I was you see
that park over there I B that four four
times behind the ramp over
there give up no I won't break
down there are things I feel that girls
can't do that boys are allowed to do
because they're
boys like ill behavior for example or
just Clowning Around in class I feel
like it's more for the guys than it is
for the
[Music]
girls and I prefer to
keep quiet because it feels like it's
more of the guys that are supposed to be
loud and Rowdy and all that lutu ranks
16th on the gender equality index making
it two places higher than the UK women
here don't have inheritance or custody
rights and abortion remains illegal but
it's judged to be the most equal country
in subsaharan Africa they don't allow us
to
go and her friendo appear unimpressed by
that always tell us that boys do have
their way and you know if if like a boy
I use with his parents it's not
that but if you're a girl and then you
do that they'll be like this girl is
so so not well behaved we can't exactly
stand up to our parents I still have
that fear of being disrespectful if I
try to stand up for it so I just keep
quiet and just let it go because you
can't say anything you're not allowed to
voice out your opinion as a girl you
know you'll have that shameful thing
like yes I'm a lady yeah it's fine Mommy
if you don't if you don't want to hear
me out it's
fine so yeah that's how it
is in Jordan views about how girls
should behave extend to the activities
that they should or shouldn't do we're
watching mea's brother sad play
basketball taking Parts not an option
for
mea do you think that some people think
that girls are too weak or too precious
to play certain Sports yes of course
because they always say this games are
is only for
boys they are
not good for
girls what do you think about that I
don't think it's fair because
um there's a lot of Po girls um can play
much better than the boys
MH sometimes I wish if I were a boy for
these
things do you sometimes get bored yes a
lot of times a lot of times
yeah I wonder how you think when you
just look at a group of guys like this
and these people you're not allow owed
to be around normally but they're just
normal young people does it seem
sometimes a bit strange that yes of
course there all these rules that stop
you going anywhere near them yes of
course because uh we at the end we are
all humans
and it's strange for me to not talk with
them and see how they think how they
live their
life s is 21 and he lives at home but he
goes out when he wants comes home when
he wants smokes in fact he appears to do
just about as he pleases so why can't
his
sisters it's not fair but I don't know
why it's it's a issue it's need needs so
I don't
know why so you've had it maybe you've
had it a bit easier than the girls yeah
of course I'm I'm living my life as I
like yeah does your dad have any rules
about sports you can't play or things
you can't yeah he have rules but I break
it always you break the
rules do you think Jordan will change
hope think so maybe after 100 200 years
maybe after 100 200 years
okay so basketball is out pull the
trigger but mir's Dad Maran says there
are plenty of other activities open to
girls in Jordan that are more
appropriate shooting for
example I prefer girls to to choose a
soft uh games than a tough games maybe
it would be hurt or something like that
girls are more uh soft more cute and you
know you have to take care of them and I
will start merera and her dad play back
gamon a lot and here as usual marwan's
winning and while he's concentrating on
his moves Mira wants to know why she has
to ask permission to socialize with
other girls I told you about a girl I
don't want to mention her name I don't
like that girl because I feel that she
is not a good girl I don't want you to
move around with that girl because she
is a nauy girl she's not a oy you don't
know she is uh more liberal than I than
I want my daughter to
be a liberal girl in marn's eyes is one
who goes out with whomever she pleases
and doesn't wear the hijab but his
daughters are growing up and is
interested to know more about her
father's views on boyfriends and
marriage if I find find some person I
want to get married uh with him and they
you don't like him and I insist that
what will what your reaction will be if
you insist about a person you want to
get married uh you will take your I will
talk to you frankly and honestly uh and
freely uh if I find you insist and you
have to write to do to choice and to
decide but if I find that you will not
oby me in this matter you will take that
responsible alone I mean I will not
support you in getting married someone I
don't
like what stands in the way
of women being equal to men
is for the most part is our
culture there's a stereotype of women
have having to stay at home do the
cleaning take care of the children and
the men going
out but these stereotypes are tough to
shift partly because in some cases
people believe they're true this comes
up as I walk through maser's main Market
with's mom masakona
the mother will look after the baby much
more is more capable of it's in a better
way than a father would do that a mother
would raise a child from Early Childhood
take care of the baby dress the baby
bait the baby it's not not to say that
the father doesn't help with that he he
he does help but I believe the mother
does a much better job doing that and
you see you're saying that and I have to
confess I'm bristling slightly because I
understand that I can't breastfeed a
baby but apart from that I don't
understand why I can't bring it up just
as well
as a mother can I I'm not saying you
can't bring it up you can but it's in
the
mother more than it is in the father you
say
that women just have a different role in
the home because they're mothers because
that is what they are put on Earth to do
but do you think that belief in some way
reinforces stereotypes about what men
and women women should
do which perhaps create problems for
girls and women it does it does
unfortunately
does it's 8:30 in the morning and SCH is
beginning another day at school 30% more
women in lutu are literate than men
they're also getting more professional
jobs but this success is not appealing
to
everyone why would you you do if like
you got married to a woman who had like
uh her career was bigger than yours or
she had a bigger job than you guys did
she brought in more money than you guys
did how would that make you feel first
of all I wouldn't marry a woman who has
who's bigger than why right she's going
to control me and no I wouldn't mind in
our culture that is in our culture that
is just not allowed would just not part
of the culture that that pushes the
stereotype that everybody has right I
wouldn't mind as long as I have my own
job also if if I'm working if my wife is
working and I don't work then that be I
can't have that yes cuz she's earning
more than me my role as a my role as a
man in the family is what I don't have a
proper role anymore culture and
tradition are often used to justify
something that appears to be
contributing to gender inequality the
girls want to talk about labala this is
a custom in lutu where a Man's family
gives money or cash house to a woman's
family ahead of marriage do you think
that's right then like taking out the Cs
thing yeah it's culture then what can
you see because you are marrying that
someone you can't even take someone tell
for free can you must pay so you have to
beay okay so it's basically like a
business if I have a daughter and I'm
going to give her and I'm going to give
my daughter to you I better be
compensated somewhere I have to yeah
bring me money bring me the cows I I
find this really disrespect respectful
it's like you're it's like you're buying
me well this is uh quite a scene isn't
it if there are many more beautiful
views in the world I don't think I've
ever seen them we've just come about an
hour's drive out of miseru
and it's in and amongst this
extraordinary Countryside that the vast
majority of people in lutu live and for
many
who live and earn their living in
villages like this one their lifestyle W
have changed a great deal over the years
people still tend to cattle they still
grow crops and this particular Village
is where's great uncle lives and we
wanted to come out here because I've had
lots of conversations in lutu already
just in my few days here where people
have said to me well the reason we can't
treat boys and girls and men and women
exactly the same is because we've got
Traditions which we don't want to change
that we must
respect sh's great uncle and Aunt have
lived in this area since
1958 as the family Elder her uncle would
be the one to negotiate the price of the
labola if she was getting
married if schw turned around in 20
years time and said I'm getting married
I found a fantastic man I think he's
going to be a great husband a great
father if we have children but I really
don't want you taking money from his
family I feel
like I'm being
sold how would you react to that I will
ask her this the question you really
think I was sold when
I when my family got um Lola from your
father's family do you think I was
sold when she becomes 21 or whatever she
can basically do whatever she wants
she's free to she's free to do but if
she brings a problem to problem to us
and we're going to decide for we'll tell
you what to do you'll tell what to do
mhm but she's free to do she's free
pleases but so you'll tell her what to
do but she can ignore you she doesn't
sound very free how free is she when
she's being told what to do by saying
that you would actually tell her what to
do aren't you really taking away her
freedom to decide I won't tell her what
to do I will tell her what is supposed
to
happen I've been thinking quite a lot
about marriage and this tradition here
in lutu of a Man's family paying a
woman's
family when they get married and lots of
people have said to me you know this is
just a tradition I believe in equality
it's just a tradition don't read
anything into it I suppose if I'm honest
I was a little bit skeptical about that
but I've been thinking about how I
organized my marriage to my wife and I
propose to her because that really is
the traditional thing to do in the UK
and she took my name when we got married
and again I think if you had asked us
we' have said well of course we believe
in gender equality
absolutely this is just a tradition it's
just something that happens
but just thinking about it in the last
24 hours I wonder if
perhaps they AR just simple traditions
whether they do have consequences as
well
I think people around me expect me to do
really good things when I become older
if you're a woman and you kind of like
don't do anything great just
like like below average maybe that is
that is just like fine and maybe people
will be disappointed but if I if I were
a guy I think I think it's more accepted
if you like don't do great things in
life
vas's dad Christian and her older
brother yoger are helping to prepare an
impressive Saturday morning Feast
Iceland's a country that's pushing hard
for gender equality but some of the old
expectations haven't gone away so the
freedom to do whatever you want can
actually mean trying to do an awful lot
more I think you can you know pursue
your dreams without getting
uh you know punished by the
society maybe it's a matter of you know
you're free to do all of your dreams as
long as you still do all the other
things right yeah maybe maybe maybe
that's sort of the pressure because
responsibility is always added to women
yeah yeah but more and more you know
young people decide to live alone so
it's getting more common that you just
pursue your own life without any
constraints of the family
or I just wonder if Iceland's trying to
create a situation where women can work
in exactly the same way as
men but it's not ready to let go of the
idea that it should be women who are in
charge at home so right there's a double
pressure there which men are not exposed
to absolutely I think I think that's
absolutely right
yeah and when it comes you know
especially when the kids are at the
young age you know for the first two or
3 years you know sometimes think I think
of uh when I think about the the girls
you know my
daughters having a man will only only
slow them down and having a man will
only you know get their life more
difficult than it should be because they
put a lot
of I'm afraid they will put a lot of
press pressure on them and uh to behave
in a certain way and to do things in a
certain way because I want them to have
uh the freedom of you know do what
exactly what they like to
do I really believe that iand is going
in the right direction and that maybe
even in in like five six years when I'll
will be all grown up and and work in a
company or something that I will for
example get the money that I earning and
and people will judge me for who I
am but but for all vas's optimism her
mother thought this has a
warning I I have to admit that I thought
there was a
equality against men and women when I
was at your age
yeah I was very
stupid but I think because that I have
opportunity to go to high school
universities Etc then I thought it was
coming must and and the society was
telling me that it was okay that this
was not for any debate or we shouldn't
be discussing about it because it was
obvious that if I were good enough then
everything is okay so just just
depending on how good I am yeah and I
thought okay if I'm going to good enough
then I will go all the way we are so you
know we are one of the best countes in
the world according to this but still we
are we have so many yeah we have so many
many things to fix and exactly exactly
yeah and it takes a long time because uh
it's only top of the iceberg that we see
and everything is underneath is so
you're so much part of us and nobody
actually knows how to fix it or what to
do
no I went into the class and it was me
and another girl there and about 11 boys
12 boys because the rest of the girls
went in um and the teacher went out of
the room for about 5 minutes and we were
just working doing our Vis Vision um and
one of the boys went oh look there's
only two girls in here and love One
shout out out gang
rape London is one of the most
Multicultural cities in the world this
is a market just down the road from
Lulu's house and there are people from
all over shopping and working as well
and while I wouldn't for a minute
suggest that the UK has dealt with
racism as a problem it has made huge
strides in the last 30 or 40 years and
to make a racist comment or Express a
racist opinion is completely
unacceptable now but then I listen to
Lulu and it sounds like sexism is
absolutely pervasive in her life and I
don't get the impression that that is
being challenged in some way it's almost
become
acceptable chicken takeaways are every
everywhere in London and a teenage night
out will often feature one as we eat
Lulu's friend beatric tells us about
something that happened earlier today um
I was I was sitting in class and between
these two boys and they were just um
they were telling me how bad they want
they want to sleep with someone but then
they would like commenting about how
they would like sleep with me and then n
um n have you seen that porn um video
have you seen that porn video oh yeah
yeah I'll do it like that I do like that
and then um was like mate wait what's
happening what's happening no just can't
it's a joke and I I got really angry
actually there's a lot of boys that
their parents will never ever ever talk
to them about anything like that and the
only place they learn about sex is on
porn and so that's the only idea they
have of it and they don't know what real
sex is so if they're with a girl that's
what they expect the girl to be like and
real girls a like them stand day but
what about the boys do Lulu's mates Bob
and Zach think that their regular
consumption of porn affects how they see
girls and women boys do watch
porn do you watch porn yeah yeah it just
happens like you know I don't think it
affects how we we view women it's just a
thing you do yeah but I I'd say it
brings your standards up a bit still
like when you see girls with porn star
bodies you just like yeah want that one
and I think it also puts a a pressure on
cuz you know there's a lot of dirty [ __ ]
that goes on to like all that stuff
actually people want to do that like
talk to me about for instance like the
verb to beat which presumably for anyone
over the age of 25 means nothing now so
if you're going to beat a girl you're
going to have sex with
her it's the same as sex really yeah I'm
going to beat you I'm going to have sex
with you it's not got any meaning to it
really it's not like oh yeah you're
going to have sex really violently or
whatever it's just you're just to have
sex casually and if I brought a group of
girls here around your age and said and
they said to you just stop it stop the
ratings stop the jokes stop the comments
about my appearance I don't want any of
it it's not making us feel good all
right then would you listen yeah all
right cool I wouldn't wouldn't comment
on them I just be like all right then
cool and then they probably missed the
the compliment
cuz I that's your point right Zach that
actually some of them like this yeah
some of them do like this I think I
mean they like they they'll sort of deny
the like that they like the attention
but realistically who doesn't like
positive attention
yeah you always want to look nice you
always wanted people to notice that you
look nice so yeah if they if they didn't
want to look nice stop wearing makeup in
college you know what I mean it's if
you're not bothered about your
appearance you don't want people to
comment on your appearance don't wear
makeup don't dress yourself up yeah
[Applause]
completely a man approached me from
behind and at midnight grabbed me from
behind and at first I froze I didn't
know what to do and before I'll be like
oh yeah I'll fight anyone off that say
does anything but it's that moment where
you're stuck where you
can't as a teenager in London Lulu has
to be StreetWise and like VI this her
Freedom isn't restricted by her parents
but where they differ is that Lulu has
to be constantly aware of her
environment her mom Daisy thinks there's
more danger now than when she was
growing up I think I just sort of try
and reinforce to her to you know think
carefully about who she's hanging around
with and make sure she knows who they
are and who they're friends with
and to
um always keep her wits about her
I think it's definitely harder to be a
teenage girl today when I was growing up
I could go out when I was 16 or 17 with
a group of friends who were girls out
clubbing and drinking and would have a
good time we could walk home together
and be relatively safe um but certainly
these days I wouldn't let my daughters
walk home at 2:00 in the morning with a
group of girls I think there are far too
many scary men out there really because
of influences from the internet and porn
particularly and I would definitely see
a lot of them as
[Music]
Predators marn's beliefs are deeply
rooted in
Islam any parents love for their
children is going to translate into a
desire to protect them and inevitably as
kids grow up there's a tension between
our desire to protect and their desire
for a few more
freedoms but what's interesting
listening to Marwan is that he isn't
just concerned with protecting mea from
harm he's also worrying about her
reputation and his fam's what follows is
a definition of equality that says girls
and women are equal but
different and this is not seen as
something which might evolve or can be
challenged but something which is
fixed
sounds incredible huh oh it's nice
because when I see the the way that
Meera is living there are lots of things
that she can't do that a 15-year-old boy
could do she can't like what like what
she can't meet with friends without your
permission yes and she can meet her
friends but I have to know uh the the
family because I don't like to have a
relationship with extreme liberal family
is it more important to protect their
reputation and to respect your religion
than it is for them to be equal in
society
uh you can say yes yes so actually it's
more important that they're safe that
they have a good husband that they have
a secure home that's more important than
whether they're equal to men and boys
right uh in our country in our
traditions and culture if a a girl is
more too liberal I I think men's uh in
general they don't like a liberal family
or liberal woman they they want a
conservative uh lady or woman or wife
because they feel more trusty with her
they feel that uh she doesn't have uh a
love relation before she will give more
attention and care and love for her
future
[Music]
husband despite living thousands of
miles apart being from very different
backgrounds Meera Lulu vigdis and schw
are all frustrated that their societies
think that girls need to be kept out of
Harm's
[Music]
Way
but in lutu there are high rates of rape
and the third highest prevalence of HIV
in the world that would concern any
parent and affect the rules that they
set it is very easy to succumb to such
pressures from the boy to get involved
in sex before you are even
ready to to get involved in in sexual
relationships like that
and it it it is very troubling to me as
a mother as I'm sure it is to many other
mothers that you will not
be
um um strong enough to you know
to to say no there's also the risk of
HIV and AIDS
you may not get
pregnant but the disease is
Rife and no parent myself included would
like to find their child in a position
where they are HIV
positive one mistake one mistake can
change your whole
life we want to learn caution is of
course no bad thing in some
circumstances but in others it may be a
hindrance I'm spending an evening at
Lulu's theater group in southeast London
sometimes the girls seem resigned to
inequality and lacking something or
someone to inspire them to take it on
can you name
me a female role model do you think
there's an example of what I could be
Beyonce who
else um I forgot her name but she she's
a female astronaut what about political
Role Models any female politicians you
can name in general Inspire honest I
don't really know some to be honest I
would to be Barack Obama even if it was
a man could you could you name a could
you name a high-profile female
politician
isue and it's not only men who stand in
the way mothers and sisters can also
reinforce the reasons why men and women
should be treated differently you know
that this is the way that my father
raised us and my mother raised us uh to
be that the woman or the girl at General
uh her her uh position is at home to
raise her children to do home homeworks
you know it's not about uh uh being fair
or unfair uh it's about uh that we have
to get used to this uh these rules
around us this is the the life that we
we live You Know M you have to get
used something vigis doesn't want to get
used to is that still sometimes she
struggles to be taken
seriously would you say that you're a
feminist yeah the word feminist people
don't look at it as it is and people
have like they they just hear the word
feminist and just think oh she's going
to talk about how women should have
equal rights for 2 hours I don't even I
don't even bother seeing tonight I'm not
going to give her a break no and I just
I just bother I don't even bother to
listen to her but it it shouldn't be
that you should be proud to be a
feminist it's should be thing yeah yeah
but my experience is that there are so
many
hindrances
treasured for women there is a glass
roof that um we need to break yeah I I
have been trying to do it for you but I
probably need your help to to go through
yeah yeah I see I'm I'm counting on you
no no
[Laughter]
pressure the lack of any countries in
the world where men and women are equal
is mirrored by the almost total absence
of any one will say that they shouldn't
be we say everyone's equal but all the
while we're helping to perpetuate or at
least tolerate status quo which is
making sure that that doesn't happen and
if I've learned anything while making
this program is that if Alice and Esther
and everyone else is going to be equal
in this world we can't just wait for
gender equality to magically appear it's
going to take millions of individual
Decisions by parents by teachers by boys
and by girls themselves and I guess that
comes down to priorities just how much
do we want this to happen where does
gender equality fit in versus our
traditions and our beliefs but let's not
kid ourselves here it's not law or
education that's standing in the way of
equality it's primarily
us
w
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