What is a Home? | Jenny Kim | TEDxDenisonU

Summary

This graduation speech reflects on the evolving concept of 'home' and the personal journey of the speaker through feelings of homesickness and belonging. Starting with an experience of isolation in their freshman year, the speaker explores how home is not just a physical place, but a combination of memories, relationships, and emotional connections. Through various life stages, the speaker learns that home is an internal feeling—rooted in experiences, people, and self-discovery—rather than a fixed location. Ultimately, the speech emphasizes that home is where we feel most at peace, wherever we may be.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker reflects on the idea of 'home' as they approach graduation, examining both beginnings and endings in their life.
• 😀 The speaker shares a key memory from their freshman year in college, where they struggled with feelings of being out of place and homesickness.
• 😀 Homesickness can manifest in many forms, and it’s not always tied to a specific place. The speaker struggles to identify what exactly they were homesick for.
• 😀 The external home is a physical space, like a city, house, or room, but it can also be a specific place where meaningful memories are made.
• 😀 The internal home refers to emotional or psychological comfort, where we feel a sense of belonging and rootedness. It is not tied to a physical space.
• 😀 Both external and internal concepts of home are interrelated. A physical place without emotional significance is just a structure, while emotional attachment without a physical space can feel ungrounded.
• 😀 The speaker describes their nomadic upbringing, moving between South Korea and the U.S., which created a sense of displacement, but also shaped their understanding of home.
• 😀 Despite many changes in physical locations throughout their life, the speaker finds that home is often defined by the people they are with, not the physical place.
• 😀 The speaker realizes that during their time in college, they were homesick not for a specific place, but for the small, intimate moments and connections they experienced with family and friends.
• 😀 The speaker concludes that home isn’t just about a fixed location. It's about carrying one's inner home with them, no matter where they go, and finding belonging in new places.
• 😀 The speaker believes that as they face the uncertainties of graduation, they can create a sense of home wherever they go by carrying their inner sense of belonging with them.

Q & A

What is the speaker reflecting on in the beginning of the speech?

The speaker is reflecting on the concepts of beginnings and endings, particularly as they approach the end of their college journey.

Why does the speaker feel out of place during their second semester of college?

The speaker feels out of place because, despite the familiar surroundings, they sense a lack of the welcoming atmosphere they had experienced before, leading to feelings of displacement and homesickness.

What was the speaker’s routine in dealing with homesickness during their first year of college?

The speaker's routine involved staying awake at night to talk to friends in Korea, which provided comfort and familiarity, despite not solving the deeper feelings of homesickness.

How does the speaker describe the internal and external aspects of home?

The speaker divides home into two parts: the external home, which refers to physical places like cities or buildings, and the internal home, which is a psychological space associated with a sense of belonging, comfort, and emotional safety.

What is the key difference between external and internal homes?

External home is a physical place that we can pinpoint on a map, while internal home is a feeling or sense of belonging that comes from memories, people, or activities rather than a specific location.

How does the speaker suggest that internal and external homes are connected?

The speaker suggests that internal and external homes are connected because the emotional attachment we form with a place, like a beach or a house, is what makes it feel like home, while a physical home is made meaningful through experiences and relationships.

What did the speaker realize about their concept of home after moving to America?

The speaker realized that their idea of home was not tied to a single fixed location. Instead, home was constantly shifting, and it was the relationships and memories formed in different places that provided a sense of home.

How did the speaker’s experiences with moving and living in different places affect their understanding of home?

The speaker’s frequent moves and diverse living situations led them to realize that home wasn’t about a specific place but about the people and experiences that provided a sense of comfort and belonging, wherever they were.

What did the speaker miss most when they were homesick during their time in America?

The speaker missed the simple moments, such as walking with their parents after dinner and spending afternoons with friends in the dorm, rather than missing a specific place like Korea or their parents' house.

What does the speaker believe is the essence of home?

The speaker believes that home is not just a physical place but a combination of emotional connections and memories. By carrying their internal sense of home, they feel they can find home anywhere they go.