Responding to my female critics: the importance of intentional sexuality

Summary

In this video, Dr. Orion Terban addresses criticism surrounding his advice for women to embrace their 'nastiest' selves with men they desire. He argues that being authentic in dating is essential and that women should strategically use their behavior to secure meaningful relationships. Terban counters concerns about degradation by emphasizing discernment in partner choice and notes the competitive nature of the sexual marketplace. By comparing dating to a job market, he encourages women to demonstrate their value to attract commitment. Overall, his provocative insights challenge traditional dating norms and advocate for a strategic approach in romantic pursuits.

Takeaways

• 😀 Dr. Orion Terban addresses criticisms regarding his advice on women's dating strategies.
• 🤔 Acknowledges that while most feedback has been positive, some negative responses focus on his views about women's behavior in relationships.
• 💡 He argues that women need to be their 'nastiest' selves with the men they want to be in relationships with, as it's an inevitable aspect of relationships.
• ⚖️ The idea is that women should strategically show their more challenging side to the men they desire rather than to those they don't want to be with.
• ⏳ Responding to concerns about a slippery slope, he clarifies that this advice does not necessarily lead to women degrading themselves.
• 🔍 The advice applies to various stages of relationships, from innocent gestures to more intimate interactions, indicating versatility in its application.
• 🔑 Emphasizes that the core issue isn't with his advice but with how women discern and choose the men to whom they display their 'nastiest' side.
• 📉 Critiques the notion that following his advice leads to failure in securing relationships, suggesting that discernment is key.
• 🚪 Highlights that in today's sexual marketplace, women must use sex strategically to gain commitment from men.
• 📈 Compares relationship-building to job interviews, suggesting that just getting in the door is not enough; women must also demonstrate their value to stay.

Q & A

What is the primary topic of Dr. Orion Terban's talk?

The primary topic is responding to criticisms regarding his advice on women's dating strategies within the contemporary sexual marketplace.

What specific advice does Dr. Terban give to women regarding their behavior in relationships?

Dr. Terban advises women to be the 'nastiest versions' of themselves with the men they want to have relationships with, suggesting that this behavior should be used strategically.

Why does Dr. Terban believe that women must show their 'nastiest version'?

He argues that every woman will inevitably show this side of herself with someone, so it makes sense to do so with a man she wants to be in a relationship with.

What criticism does Dr. Terban address regarding the potential consequences of his advice?

He addresses the concern that following his advice might lead to women becoming 'degraded sexual animals' and argues that his advice is not exclusively about sex.

How does Dr. Terban differentiate between various forms of intimacy?

He explains that even seemingly innocent actions, like holding hands, can carry different meanings depending on the context and intent behind them.

What does Dr. Terban say about the relationship between sex and commitment in today's marketplace?

He states that in today's sexual marketplace, sex often precedes commitment, and women need to use sex to secure commitment from men, who are typically the gatekeepers.

How does Dr. Terban compare dating strategies to a job interview?

He likens dating to a competitive job market, where merely showing up isn't enough; one must actively demonstrate value to be selected among many candidates.

What does Dr. Terban suggest women do after securing a relationship?

He suggests that after gaining entry into a relationship, women need to be proactive in maintaining their value and connection to avoid being 'cast out.'

How does Dr. Terban suggest women handle fears of being used for short-term sexual experiences?

He acknowledges these fears but argues that women must first be invited into a relationship in order to be potentially 'cast out.'

What is the overall message Dr. Terban wants to convey to women regarding dating?

Dr. Terban encourages women to be strategic, understand the dynamics of modern dating, and leverage their sexuality thoughtfully to achieve their relationship goals.