What Great Listeners Actually Do

Summary

In this video, Bruce Lambert from HowCommunicationWorks.com shares insights on what great listeners do, based on research by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman. He explains three key habits of excellent listeners: active participation in conversations, creating a safe environment for speakers, and engaging in cooperative, non-judgmental dialogue. Great listeners ask questions, offer constructive suggestions, and help bolster the speaker’s confidence. Lambert encourages viewers to apply these strategies to improve their listening skills and enhance their relationships. He also invites viewers to subscribe, comment, and explore additional resources on his website.

Takeaways

• 😀 Great listening is more than just sitting silently; it involves active participation in a dialogue.
• 👍 Good listeners ask clarifying questions, make supportive statements, and engage constructively.
• 🛡️ Great listening boosts the speaker’s self-esteem and creates a safe space for open, vulnerable communication.
• 🤝 Listening is cooperative, not competitive, critical, or judgmental.
• 🚫 Good listeners avoid criticizing or trying to one-up the speaker; they work to understand and support them.
• 💡 Good listeners may offer constructive suggestions as part of a cooperative dialogue.
• 👂 Active listening doesn’t mean avoiding problem-solving, but offering solutions in a helpful, non-judgmental way.
• 🗣️ Good listening supports mutual understanding and strengthens relationships.
• 🔍 Clarifying questions and feedback should be done in a spirit of cooperation, not argument.
• 📈 Being a great listener involves contributing helpful ideas when appropriate, while still focusing on understanding and empathy.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?

The video focuses on what great listeners do and the characteristics that set them apart from others, according to research by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman.

Who is the speaker, and what is his purpose for the channel?

The speaker is Bruce Lambert from HowCommunicationWorks.com. His purpose is to teach communication skills to help viewers improve relationships, succeed at work, advance their careers, and become more confident.

What are the three main characteristics of great listeners according to the speaker?

The three main characteristics are: 1) Good listening is active and engaged, not passive. 2) Good listening supports the speaker’s self-esteem and confidence. 3) Good listening is a cooperative, non-judgmental activity.

What does the speaker mean by 'good listening is active'?

By 'active,' the speaker means that great listening involves engaging in a dialogue, asking clarifying questions, making supportive statements, and participating constructively rather than just sitting silently.

How does good listening support a speaker's self-esteem and confidence?

Good listeners create a safe environment where the speaker feels comfortable and at ease, allowing them to speak openly, even about difficult or vulnerable topics, without fear of judgment.

Why does the speaker emphasize that good listening is cooperative rather than competitive?

Good listening aims to sync with the speaker, build common understanding, and strengthen the relationship. It should not be critical, argumentative, or aimed at competing with or belittling the speaker.

Can good listeners challenge the speaker, and if so, how should they do it?

Yes, good listeners can challenge the speaker, but it should be done in a cooperative and helpful spirit, not in a way that is critical or judgmental. The goal is to clarify and support, not to criticize.

What does the speaker say about making suggestions as a good listener?

The speaker explains that good listeners often make constructive suggestions when appropriate. These suggestions are not meant to hijack the conversation but to offer helpful input based on the dialogue.

Why does the speaker say that making suggestions runs counter to typical advice on listening?

Typical advice on listening often suggests focusing solely on emotions and avoiding problem-solving. However, the speaker argues that since good listening is a cooperative activity, it’s natural to offer constructive suggestions when relevant.

What are the speaker’s suggestions for viewers who want to learn more or engage further?

The speaker encourages viewers to subscribe to the channel, like the video, comment their thoughts, visit HowCommunicationWorks.com for more resources, and consider one-on-one coaching sessions.