Phoenix Seminar - PART 3 - UNLOCKING Your POTENTIAL

Summary

This session on unlocking human potential explores the significant differences in personal performance and success. It presents a formula for human potential: inborn attributes, acquired attributes, and attitude. The talk emphasizes the critical role of self-concept—formed by beliefs, values, and past experiences—in determining personal success. It discusses how improving self-esteem by affirming 'I like myself' can boost performance and well-being. The session also addresses overcoming fear of failure and rejection, suggesting that these fears can be unlearned through positive self-concept and self-esteem development.

Takeaways

• 💡 The disparity in income is not directly related to intelligence; success is influenced by other factors beyond IQ.
• 🧬 Human potential is determined by inborn attributes, acquired attributes (education, experience), and attitude.
• 📈 Attitude is the most malleable factor, and it can dramatically affect success; expecting positive outcomes creates a positive attitude.
• 🧠 The self-concept is the central belief system that controls performance; improving self-concept enhances personal effectiveness.
• 🚀 Most people use only a small percentage of their potential, leaving untapped opportunities for growth and achievement.
• 🔄 Beliefs and values form the self-concept, which shapes thoughts, actions, and results.
• 🎯 To improve results in life, one must raise their self-concept in critical areas like income, health, or relationships.
• 👍 Repeating positive affirmations like 'I like myself' can increase self-esteem and self-concept, leading to better performance.
• ⚙️ Negative habit patterns (fear of failure, fear of rejection) learned in childhood limit potential, but they can be unlearned.
• 👥 Self-esteem affects relationships and how others treat you; improving self-esteem allows for better interactions and success.

Q & A

What accounts for the disparity in results and performance between people?

The disparity in results and performance is not due to intelligence alone. Inborn attributes, acquired attributes (like education and skills), and attitude all contribute to human potential. Attitude, in particular, plays a key role in determining how much of one's potential is realized.

How does attitude influence human performance?

Attitude determines expectations, which in turn affect outcomes. A positive attitude, where a person expects good things, can enhance performance, while a negative attitude leads to poor results. Attitude can be changed quickly, while other attributes like skills and knowledge may take time to improve.

What is the self-concept, and why is it important?

The self-concept is a person's internal beliefs, values, and attitudes about themselves, formed over their lifetime. It acts as a 'command center' for their actions and behaviors, determining their effectiveness and performance. Improving one’s self-concept leads to better results in life.

How much of their potential does the average person use, according to the script?

The average person uses only about 10% of their potential, and some estimates, such as those from the Stanford Brain Institute, suggest it may be as low as 2%. This means 90% or more of a person’s potential remains untapped.

How is a person's self-concept related to their performance?

A person's self-concept limits their performance because they act in ways that align with their self-image. For example, if someone believes they deserve a certain income level, their performance will align with that belief, and they may not achieve more unless they change their self-concept.

What are the three components of the self-concept?

The three components of the self-concept are: 1) The self-ideal, which is how you see yourself in areas like work, relationships, or health, 2) Self-esteem, which is how much you like yourself in these areas, and 3) Self-image, which is how you see yourself in action.

What is the relationship between self-esteem and performance?

Higher self-esteem leads to better performance because when a person likes themselves, they tend to perform more effectively. Repeatedly saying positive affirmations like 'I like myself' can help raise self-esteem, which improves overall performance.

How can self-esteem be improved according to the script?

Self-esteem can be improved by consistently repeating affirmations such as 'I like myself.' This positive self-talk helps increase a person’s sense of self-worth and leads to better performance in various areas of life.

What are the two main fears that inhibit human potential?

The two main fears that inhibit human potential are the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. These fears create negative habit patterns that hold people back from trying new things or pursuing their goals.

How can someone overcome negative habit patterns like the fear of failure or rejection?

Negative habit patterns can be unlearned by building self-esteem. As self-esteem increases, the fear of failure and rejection decreases. By continually practicing self-affirmation and focusing on building confidence, a person can reduce these fears and unlock more of their potential.

Outlines

00:00

💡 Unlocking Human Potential: The Disparity in Results

This paragraph explores the vast differences in income and performance between individuals and argues that these differences are not directly related to intelligence. Studies show that a person earning significantly more is not necessarily smarter. Instead, the speaker introduces a formula involving 'inborn attributes,' 'acquired attributes,' and 'attitude' to explain human potential. Attitudes can drastically change performance, and positive expectations can lead to better outcomes. The concept of self-manufactured expectations is introduced, emphasizing that beliefs and values shape these expectations.

05:01

🧠 The Self-Concept and Its Influence on Performance

This paragraph delves into the idea of the 'self-concept,' which is presented as the core of human potential. It acts like a command center, shaping how individuals behave and perceive themselves. The self-concept includes beliefs, values, and attitudes formed throughout life, which ultimately dictate performance and effectiveness. The speaker notes that most people use only a small fraction of their potential due to limiting self-concepts. It is emphasized that the self-concept is subjective and often does not align with reality, impacting how individuals perform in various areas of their lives.

10:02

💪 Building a Positive Self-Concept: The Power of Self-Esteem

The speaker explains that to improve any aspect of life, including income or health, one must first raise their self-concept. This paragraph discusses the three critical parts of the self-concept: self-ideal, self-image, and self-esteem. The importance of repeating positive affirmations like 'I like myself' is highlighted as a way to boost self-esteem, which in turn improves overall performance. The relationship between self-esteem and how others perceive us is also explored, emphasizing that individuals must like and respect themselves before expecting others to do the same.

15:03

👶 The Formation of the Self-Concept: Early Childhood Influence

This paragraph focuses on how the self-concept is developed, starting from early childhood. The speaker asserts that children are born with pure potential and no self-concept, which is shaped through their experiences, especially by the way their parents treat them. A child’s need for love and affection is crucial in forming a positive self-concept. The paragraph also mentions that children are born fearless and spontaneous, with a natural curiosity to explore the world, but this often gets suppressed through repeated experiences of fear and pain, especially due to destructive criticism.

🚸 Overcoming Negative Habit Patterns: Fear of Failure and Rejection

This paragraph examines how negative habit patterns, such as the fear of failure and rejection, are formed and how they limit human potential. These patterns arise from destructive criticism and repeated negative experiences, often felt physically in the body. The fear of failure manifests as physical tension and avoidance behaviors, while the fear of rejection leads individuals to prioritize pleasing others over their own needs. The speaker reassures that these fears can be unlearned through increased self-esteem, which reduces fear and boosts confidence.

🎯 The Power of Constructive Criticism and Self-Liking

The speaker advises how to handle criticism constructively, emphasizing the importance of protecting a person's self-esteem during feedback. Key points include starting with praise, focusing on performance rather than personality, and discussing future improvements rather than past mistakes. The overall message is that fostering self-esteem in oneself and others leads to better performance. The paragraph concludes with the importance of repeating affirmations like 'I like myself' to maintain high self-esteem, which is linked to personal success and overall happiness.

Keywords

💡Inborn Attributes

Inborn attributes refer to the qualities, intelligence, and temperament a person is born with, which cannot be significantly altered. In the video, they are described as the foundation of human potential, though largely fixed at birth. These traits, while important, are only part of what shapes a person's performance and results in life.

💡Acquired Attributes

Acquired attributes encompass a person's education, skills, training, experience, and wisdom, which can be developed over time. The video highlights that these attributes can be changed, sometimes rapidly, and significantly impact a person's success. For instance, one valuable piece of knowledge can dramatically increase effectiveness.

💡Attitude

Attitude is described as a powerful factor in determining a person's success and performance. It reflects one's mindset and expectations, influencing how they approach challenges. The video explains how attitude can be instantaneously improved by adopting positive expectations, such as believing something wonderful will happen today.

💡Self-Concept

The self-concept is a central idea in the video, described as a bundle of beliefs, values, attitudes, and feelings that shape how a person perceives themselves. This concept acts like a 'command center' for human potential, determining behavior and performance. The video emphasizes that all improvements in life stem from a change in self-concept.

💡Human Potential

Human potential is the capacity to achieve and perform, which, according to the video, most people use only a small fraction of. The speaker suggests that tapping into the remaining 90% of our potential can be achieved by improving our self-concept and attitude. This term is tied to the broader message of unlocking one's full capabilities.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to the emotional value a person places on themselves, influencing their performance in all areas of life. In the video, self-esteem is linked to self-liking, and improving it by affirming 'I like myself' can lead to higher performance and better relationships. The video suggests that liking oneself is essential for success.

💡Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is described as a learned negative habit pattern that holds people back from reaching their full potential. It often manifests physically as tension in the body. The video explains how destructive criticism in childhood can lead to this fear, which limits adults from trying new things and fulfilling their potential.

💡Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection is another negative habit pattern mentioned in the video, stemming from a concern with others' opinions. It leads individuals to deny their own needs in favor of pleasing others. This fear is associated with physical tension in the back of the body, and overcoming it is linked to improving self-esteem.

💡Negative Habit Patterns

Negative habit patterns are conditioned responses to stimuli, often learned through destructive criticism. The video discusses two main types: the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. These patterns prevent individuals from exploring their full potential and hold them back in life, but they can be unlearned through positive reinforcement.

💡Self-Ideal

The self-ideal is the mental image a person holds of their ideal self in various roles, such as an employee or a parent. The video explains that a person's performance is tied to how much they like themselves in these roles. By improving their self-esteem, individuals can raise their self-ideal and consequently perform better in life.

Highlights

Human potential isn't determined solely by intelligence but is greatly influenced by attitude and expectations.

IQ differences between individuals are minimal compared to the vast differences in performance and success.

Attitude plays a critical role in human performance, and positive expectations can dramatically boost it.

The formula for human potential includes inborn attributes, acquired attributes, and attitude.

Acquired attributes, such as skills and education, can be changed, sometimes rapidly with the right information.

Self-concept, which includes beliefs and values, is key to understanding and improving human performance.

The self-concept is shaped by experiences and begins developing early in life, affecting all areas of performance.

People use only a fraction of their potential, with research suggesting that most use less than 10% of their capacity.

To unlock potential, it's crucial to raise one's self-concept and improve self-esteem.

The more you like yourself, the higher your self-esteem, which positively impacts your performance.

Self-esteem can be improved by regularly affirming positive beliefs like 'I like myself'.

Children are born fearless and spontaneous, but negative habit patterns can suppress their potential.

Fear of failure and rejection, often learned through negative experiences, limits adult potential.

Negative habit patterns can be unlearned by boosting self-esteem and challenging fears.

High self-esteem reduces fear of rejection and failure, leading to better performance and happiness.

Transcripts

session three unlocking your potential

when we talk about human potential have

you ever wondered what accounts for the

huge disparity in results and

performance between one person and

another you know a person who's making

$250,000 a year is not 10 times smarter

or better than a person who's making

$25,000 a year why is there 10 times the

difference in income and you go all the

way up the ladder to a person is making

$2.5 million a year is that person a 100

times better smarter than the person

making 25,000 a year impossible in a

recent study of IQs they picked a

thousand men and women out of the

population and tested them for IQ they

found that the top person in that

thousand selection was only two and one

half times smarter than the bottom

person in that selection of IQs only two

and a half times the disparity and

that's probably true over the whole

population so what accounts for this

great difference well we talk about

human potential we come down to a very

simple formula that I came up with some

years ago that probably explains it a

little bit the formula starts off with

what we call IIA which is inborn

attributes that's the qualities the

intelligence the ability the temperament

the things that you're born with that

you can't really change very much plus

acquired attributes now acquired

attributes are very important those are

your education your training your skill

your experience knowledge wisdom and so

on multipli times a which is your

attitude equals individual human

potential or individual Human

Performance or individual human results

if you like now of these three inborn

attributes are largely fixed at Birth

acquired attributes can be changed but

it takes a while to change them although

sometimes they can be changed very

rapidly one valuable piece of

information can dramatically change your

Effectiveness but attitudes can be

increased or decreased dramatically in

second we talked about that before and a

very powerful way to instantaneous ly

improve your attitude is to say to

yourself I I believe something wonderful

is going to happen to me today as we

said before our expectations about

outcomes determines our attitude in

other words if you expect things to turn

out well you're going to have a positive

attitude if you expect things to turn

out negatively you're going to have a

negative attitude and the wonderful

thing is you can manufacture your own

expectations I mean you can expect

whatever you want you can expect good

things you can expect negative things

and chances are you won't be

disappointed where do our expectations

come from our expectations come from our

beliefs

if You' like and our values these are

the core or the central motivating

factors in our personality our beliefs

and values and this brings us to an

understanding of human potential it

means that basically our attitude is the

outward expression of what is going on

internally consistent with the mental

laws that we talked about and with

regard to beliefs each of us has a

bundle of beliefs way down deep inside

which psychologists call the

self-concept now the self-concept cep or

the discovery of it has been considered

by many to be the most important single

breakthrough in understanding human

performance in the 20th century and I

personally agree the self-concept is

like if you wanted to use a military

analogy is the command center or if you

wanted to use a

technological analogy it is the central

program of your basic computer it is a

bundle of beliefs values attitudes

feelings ideas and so on which are

stored away down inside which are a

result virtually every experience you've

ever had in your life and some

researchers say that the self-concept

begins to form even before birth but

this self-concept once it is in place

precedes predicts and determines your

levels of Effectiveness and performance

in every area of your life your

self-concept becomes the command Pro

Center or the master program the

self-concept or this bundle of beliefs

then determines what you will say what

you will do how you will act how you

feel and react and so on what does it

mean it means means that all

improvements in your external life all

changes in your reality begin with a

change in the self-concept let me give

you an understanding of how it means

here's here's a very simple graph we

talk about human potential we say the

average person uses 10% or less of their

potential according to the research is

probably much less Stanford brain

Institute in Santa Clara California

estimates that it's probably closer to

2% but we'll be generous we'll say the

average person is using 10% it means

that in the best of cases

the average person you and I have 90% of

our potential untapped one of the great

philosophers Oliver wend hom said the

great tragedy of the average person is

that they go to their grave with their

music still in them they're still

functioning on far far less of their

potential so this is human potential we

find is a direct relationship between

human potential and the self-concept

that since our self-concepts or our

estimates of ourselves if you like are

usually far lower than they need to be

our level of performance and effectiv

this is far lower too and we know that

our self-concept is largely subjective

what does that mean it means that the

self-concept what we believe to be true

about ourselves is really not based in

reality it's based on information that

we've taken in people who win lotteries

are often flat broke two or three years

later they just burn the money because

the money is far beyond their

self-concept if you go 10% or more below

your self-concept level of income you

find yourself scrambling you work harder

you work longer you think more

creatively you look at different ways to

increase your income or or second income

opportunities the only way to improve

any part of your life including your

income is to raise your self-concept

level of income by beginning to think

about yourself continually in terms of

earning more money if you want to lose

weight the only way you can lose weight

is what is to think thin by beginning to

think of yourself as a thinner person if

you want to become a more popular a more

loving a happier person a healthier

person you have to begin to think over

and over about those things until they

become part of your new self-concept and

we'll talk about that a little bit later

it's an essential part of programming

your mind for Success your overall

self-concept is determined by the

average of your self-concepts in all the

areas that you consider important now

your self-concept is made up of three

critical Parts the first part of the

self-concept is the self ideal the self

ideal is yourself as an employee how

much you like yourself as a boss how

much you like yourself as a money earner

a professional speaker an athlete and so

on how much you like yourself your level

of self-esteem your overall emotional

feeling about any area of your life

determines your performance and

Effectiveness in that area wonderfully

enough since you become what you think

about your self-concept is malleable

your self-esteem can be built by

repeating over and over again I like

myself I like myself I like myself I

like myself I like myself I like myself

the more you say I like myself I like

myself I like myself the more you repeat

that over and over again the more your

self-esteem goes up the more your

self-esteem goes up the more your

overall self-concept goes up when your

overall self-concept goes up you perform

better at everything else that you

attempt that every single time you say I

like myself I like myself I like myself

I like myself I like myself it's like

pumping yourself up psychologically

everything that happens that causes your

self-esteem to go up causes you to

perform better everything that happens

that causes your self-esteem to go down

causes you to perform worse make more

mistakes be unhappier and so on a

critical point about liking yourself

about self-esteem and self-liking is

that number one is you can never like or

love anybody else more than you like or

love yourself that your level of

self-esteem is the determinant of the

quality of the relationships you have

with others and number two is you can

never expect anybody else to like or

respect you more than you like or

respect yourself that how much you like

and respect yourself determines their

attitudes toward you every single School

of Psychology today is coming to

agreement on the fact that how much you

genuinely like and accept yourself as a

valuable and worthwhile human being has

an effect on everything that happens to

you how much you like yourself and what

you can do is you can improve your

self-esteem by saying I like myself I

like myself I like myself I like myself

I like myself well this brings us to the

question of word is self-esteem where

does the self-concept come from and we

found that self-concept if anything

self-concept is malleable in that you

are not born with a self-concept is that

you're not born with any idea of

yourself you're not born with self-image

or self te that you're born in a way as

pure potential it's probably the best

way to put it the average person comes

into the world as pure potential and has

no self-concept that everything you are

today every feeling that you have every

attitude or value you had to learn over

the course of your lifetime we also know

that the child comes into the world with

a very high need for love and touching

and a tremendous amount of Research

indicates that we need a lot of love and

touching all of our lives but especially

in our formative years because as a

child

we learn who we are how valuable we are

whether we're important intelligent

attractive lovable uh funny we learn all

of these things by the way our parents

treat us if our parents our siblings our

aunts and uncles but especially our

parents treat us like we're really

important kids then we grow up thinking

that we're really important if our

parents do not then something else

happens we know that the first few years

of life are the most important in

developing the self-concept that a child

starts off at zero when the child is

born with no idea of who she is or who

he is or how valuable they are and in

the first second driving down that

healing concrete deep into the

foundation of our personality remember

children need love like roses need rain

children that are deprived of Love often

die of Love starvation it's a disease

called marasmus now what else do we know

about children we know that children

come into the world with two remarkable

attributes the first is that they're

Fearless children are born with no fears

they're not afraid of any anything

except falling and loud noises and this

is expressed in the attitude I can

children come into the world leaving

they can do anything and anybody who's

Ever Raised a child to the age of three

or four or five knows you have to spend

those first few years stopping them from

killing themselves because they little

comicazi Pilots because they're not

afraid of anything the second attribute

is they come into the world completely

spontaneous they say what they want they

do what they want they are completely

uninhibited they just are completely

unafraid they do anything anything that

they want and this is expressed in the

attitude I don't have to I don't have to

if you ever try to control a child

you'll find that the attitude of a chunk

child the first thing they say we begin

to develop negative habit patterns

negative habit patterns are conditioned

responses to stimuli negative habit

patterns develop very very early in life

they're developed as a result of a

repetition of fear and pain over and

over again they're developed as the

result of destructive criticism physical

punishment and so on very early in life

we begin to develop two major

manifestations which follow us

throughout our lives and more than

anything else inhibit our potential as

adults the first is what is called the

inhibitive negative habit pattern the

inhibitive negative habit

pattern is learned when the child is

told over and over again don't get away

from there stop leave that alone and the

child is punished when whenever the

child tries something new or gets into

something or smells something or pours

something over or or break something

accidentally the parent blows up and

gets angry and upset you see the child

is driven by an insatiable curiosity to

explore his or her world and what

happens is when they do explore it and

they get into something they tip

something over if the parent overreacts

and spanks the child that we feel like

withdrawing and getting away from the

event and the fear of failure is the

major reason for failure in adult life

it's the major reason why we hold back

from fulfilling our potentials as a

matter of fact all negative habit

patterns are are experienced in the

physical body that you can tell a

negative habit pattern because you

actually feel it in your physical body

the inhibitive negative habit pattern

the fear of failure the I can't is

experienced first of all in the solar

plexus you ever have an occasion where

you have to speak in front of a group or

you have to go into an performance

review or you have to make a cold call

first of all the solar plexus tightens

up if fear situation continues you start

to breathe harder and your heart starts

to beat faster your respiratory rate and

sometimes you get a headache like a

migraine headache in the front of your

head sometimes your throat will tighten

up and you won't be able to speak you'll

go completely dry sometimes you'll get

so tense and so frightened that you'll

have to run and go to the bathroom these

are all manifestations there's no

physical danger but there's a

psychological danger a conditioned

response and whenever we feel these

things the natural tendency is to back

away from the situation that's causing

them and of course type a behavior is a

a compulsive an obsessive compulsive

need to some how please somebody with no

standards of performance so that you can

never accomplish it the fear of

rejection drives us it makes us very

very sensitive to the opinions of other

people we do things what that other

people want we don't do things that we

want we always trying to please others

we have a preoccupation or a concern

with the opinions and feelings and

attitudes of others to the point where

we deny our own needs now the fear of

rejection is felt down the back half of

the body you divide the body in half

it's about right down the back half of

the body first place you start to feel

the fear of rejection is usually in the

shoulders and in the neck you start to

feel stiff and sore and tense sometimes

when you have a lot to do you'll feel

tremendous stress in the lower back the

muscles will start to pull in the lower

back sometimes it'll represent it'll

manifest itself in fitis and varicose

veins very often it can give you very

bad headaches in the back of the head

because the koted arteries which carry

blood up into the head the muscles

around them constrict and the amount of

blood flow to the Head slows down and

you feel this pounding headache in the

back of your head these two fears the

compulsive or these two negative habit

patterns the compulsive and inhibitive

which are the result of destructive

criticism the great P destroyer of

personalities plague us all our lives

now the wonderful thing about these is

because that they are because they are

learned habits we can unlearn them we

can overcome the fear of failure that

holds us back we can overcome the fear

of rejection that causes us to do things

that please other people people rather

than pleasing ourselves by working on

our own self-esteem because there is an

inverse relationship between self-esteem

and the basic negative habit pattern is

the more you like yourself the less you

fear failure the more you like yourself

the less you fear rejection the more you

like yourself the less you fear anything

and if you continue to repeat I like

myself I like myself I like myself over

and over again if you continue to say

this eventually over time your

self-esteem goes up higher self-esteem

goes down their ability to perform goes

down too if you destructively criticize

a person often enough long enough and

hard enough they get reached the point

where they won't try anything at all

they become what we call hyper sensitive

and a hyper sensitive adult is a person

who cannot take criticism from anybody a

hyp sensitive adult is a person who is

very very tense and anxious if you even

suggest that they're not doing the right

thing if you have to deal with a hyper

sensitive adult to keep is to sit them

down and remember four things number one

always begin with praise number two is

protect the person's self-esteem at all

costs number three is discuss the

performance not the person talk about

the behavior rather than the person and

number four is is it number four number

four is to focus on the future versus

the past focus on what is going to be

done differently in the future or rather

than what has happened in the past why

is that very simple reason is because a

person cannot control the past not being

able to control the past any criticism

over what they've done in the past

causes them tremendous stress and frust

that you'll make the people around you

like love accept and respect themselves

and you'll create a Peak Performance

environment it is the starting point to

great success and achievement in life so

say over and over to yourself I like

myself I like myself I like myself I

like

myself